Suddenly, a shoulder slammed into Seridan as a hurried-looking hoodlum barged past. Seridan moved with the impact, turning to see his interrupter. Somewhat surprisingly, he was a normal commuter - nothing special.
Turning back, Solari was gone. Seridan couldn't see the telltale green glow, so he reached out with the Force, trying to find the Shard's mind. Sensing a sage-like intellect and a cool demeanour, Seridan knew that it could only be Solari. He was only a block or two away. Realising that he was carrying a weapon in a busy crowd, Seridan stowed his humming vibroblade in its sheath, and quickened his pace. Seeing an alley that would serve as a shortcut, Seridan detoured, aiming to cut Solari off.
Around him, the buildings and lights of Nar Shaddaa seemed to fade, and become less prolific. In their own way, the walls seemed to become more intimidating; oppressive, even. Even the constant flow of pedestrians had thinned. Seridan's uneasy feeling was only eased by how close Solari was. He could feel the Shard just around the corner.
Suddenly, a hard object pressed itself into his back and pushed him towards the nearest wall. Seridan hit the wall, and then, with a grunt, he rebounded and span. Seridan cursed. Another distraction meant his mission was even more delayed.
"Your thoughts betray you. Well, that and the fact that you carried a blade in the open. You really should be more subtle," a strangely mechanical voice said. Seridan looked up, focusing on his adversary.
Shrouded in the tan robes of a traveller, a metal skeleton moved with the grace of a human. In the place where a humanoid's heart usually is, a eerie green glow ebbed at regular intervals. This green light glowed also along crevices in his armour, making it look like arteries carrying lifeblood. His shoulders were smooth, a quizzical tilt to his head. Seridan saw his Aedile, but he didn't understand. Solari couldn't be here, in front of him. He was walking east - Seridan could still sense Solari's mind, getting farther away with every moment. The mind he sensed then disappeared.
"Minds are surprisingly easy to trick, if you don't know how to protect yourself," Solari said, smirking, "I've been tailing you for a few minutes."
Seridan's head reeled as he went through his options, seemingly oblivious to Solari's remarks. Soon his mind went to his mission. He found that the only thing left that he could do was incapacitate Solari, albeit subtly. He smiled grimly, knowing what he had to do.
"Those are my deathsticks. Mine!" Seridan shouted, bounding forward and tackling the droid body. It had to look like a couple of lowlifes grappling, not like a Jedi duel, if they were to stay undetected. Solari's droid body bounced back to his feet. Out of the folds of his robe, the Shard drew his lightsaber. The long red blade clashed with the green glow, casting ominous shadows across the polished metal.
‘Damn. Plan Incognito isn’t going to work,’ Seridan thought. He summoned his lightsaber to his hand, letting the cool ice colour splash over his face. Seridan noticed how Solari held his saber oddly. He held it behind his back, though it didn’t look uncomfortable for Solari. Seridan decided to start with big moves, to weigh up his opponent. He threw his lightsaber, the blade spinning somewhat gracefully through the air, before Solari brought his lightsaber round in a broad arc, deflecting it back to Seridan. Leaping through the air, Seridan grabbed his saber and clashed with Solari’s saber-staff, the familiar ‘hiss’ of lightsaber clashes breaking the monotonousness of the buzzing city. Seridan leaped backward, before rolling under a slash and attempting a feint at the droid’s ankle. Solari bought it, but he noticed in time to parry the blade away. Solari then engaged Seridan with a complex cadence, which Seridan just about kept up with.
As the two Jedi traded strikes, slashes, and stabs, Seridan began to get a measure of Solari’s technique. It was aggressive and fast, much like Seridan’s own. There wasn’t much defence to it, though Seridan had to be wary of that as well. Their lightsaber forms were similar, Seridan noted, but different. As Seridan ducked a swipe, he had an idea. Whereas Ataru requires a lot of movement, Solari’s form was a lot more static. Seridan span out of the way of the ruby-red blade, but instead of counterattacking, he opened his hand, and used the Force to propel Solari through the air. His droid host flew backward a few metres, the robes fluttering around him.
Solari sprang back to his feet. “Hmm…” the Shard’s mechanical voice hummed, “so that’s how you want to play it.”
You refer to the Seridan as "Serian" twice in this post.
This looks like you meant "the crowds" or "these crowds", since you are referring to a plural object.
This is disjointed, through repetition. You end the opening sentence with waiting for and start the next statement again waiting for. It looks like you meant to elaborate on the purpose of the opening he was waiting for from the first line, but overlapped in the attempt.