OP Celevon Edraven vs. DJM Aidan Kincaid

Obelisk Prelate Celevon Edraven

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Obelisk, Shadow
vs.

Dark Jedi Master Aidan Kincaid

Elder 2, Elder tier, Clan Taldryan
Male Human, Obelisk, Marauder
Comment

Celevon and Aidan,

Thanks for participating in the Elite 8 of the Fading Light ACC Tournament. Making it this far is a great accomplishment and both of you have performed exceptionally.

I have judged this match (narrowly) in favor of Aidan based on his story. Aidan, great work setting the environment, building suspense, and telling a well written story. Your writing flowed and provided a vivid and entertaining battle. As mentioned in the scoring above, I wasn't a huge fan of the hssiss entering the fray, but I did like your ability to add suspense to the fight by introducing the potential of Arete arriving. Not many people incorporate Battle Teams into a battle.

Celevon, your writing was well done, but I did find some mild repetition (back to back point blank TK attacks could have been described a little differently). I really liked your lead in and the internal thoughts of Sashar's teaching, but you abandoned it! I thought this could have helped you take the win :(

Beyond that, this was a close battle with minimal errors. I did deduct points from Shad for what I considered a continuity error, but it was not enough to sway the battle in Celevon's direction.

Great work guys. If you have additional questions, please contact me.

GM Pravus

Hall Fading Light
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants OP Celevon Edraven, DJM Aidan Kincaid
Winner DJM Aidan Kincaid
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
OP Celevon Edraven's Character Snapshot Snapshot
DJM Aidan Kincaid's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Begeren - Mass Grave
Last Post 26 July, 2014 4:31 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Aidan Kincaid Captain Aryn "Jade" Erinos-Magnuri
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: No major issues. Rationale: 1. I'm throwing this one in Syntax because I found the sentence difficult to read. I understand what you mean, but the sentence structure is off: "The Onderonian spun his cobalt blade, knocking the amber one aside as Celevon rolled the hilt in his palm until the beam was in the reverse direction, attempting to get inside of the Elder’s defenses."
Story - 40%
Aidan Kincaid Captain Aryn "Jade" Erinos-Magnuri
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: 1. I liked your opening set up of the battle and the environment. Well done. 2. I wasn't a huge fan of the introduction of the Hssiss, but I did like the suspense/tension builder of Arete. Rationale: 1. Mild repetition: "burst of telekinetic energy delivered at almost point-blank range" and then a few sentences later: powerful wave of telekinetic energy at point blank range. 2. I liked your internal battle thinking through your experiences with Sashar, but you all but abandoned that in the second post in favor of skeletons and crystals. 3. I thought the conclusion Skeleton battle was a little off. Shad is a +5 master at sense and decided to fight through the relatively harmless packs of skeletons and ignore you as you carved up a crystal and fled. Overall, pretty good.
Realism - 25%
Aidan Kincaid Captain Aryn "Jade" Erinos-Magnuri
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No major issues. Rationale: No major issues.
Continuity - 20%
Aidan Kincaid Captain Aryn "Jade" Erinos-Magnuri
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: 1. It appears in your second post you missed that Celevon had risen to his feet at the conclusion of his first post. Slight deduction. Rationale: No issues.
Aidan Kincaid's Score: 4.25 Captain Aryn "Jade" Erinos-Magnuri's Score: 4.05
Posts

Begeren. Once a prosperous Sith world, it has been the site of numerous battles throughout the millennia. Grand halls and monuments were torn down and re-purposed by looting Republic forces thousands of years ago, before they were driven from the planet. Isolated settlements still dot the planet's surface, but the inhospitable, craggy, and desert-like terrain, along with the beasts common to many desert and Sith worlds, have kept most humanoids from colonizing. Occasional skirmishes have left debris scattered throughout the desert, and battles were fought here as recently as the Galactic Civil War.

The One Sith’s hold on Begeren is all but broken, though a few small pockets of resistance remain. The Clans and Houses of the Brotherhood now swarm the planet to defeat them, but attention has returned to plunder. Roaming bands of Jedi, adherents to light and dark alike, claim—or destroy—priceless artifacts at every turn. One of the few remaining untouched areas on the entire planet is the Valley of Monuments, so named for its glorious architecture. The valley is a patchwork collection of sand dunes and massive canyons, inhospitable even in the best of times. Despite this, the One Sith maintain control over the area. Exactly how—or why—this place has not yet been claimed by the Brotherhood, you do not know, and nor do your superiors, but you know it is ripe for the picking. Perhaps one reason is that access is limited—the One Sith maintain control over the valley’s entrances, save for a small handful of paths that tread directly through canyons used long ago as ancient burial grounds. Intelligence suggests these entrances are virtually undefended. Your plan, at the moment, is to find your way into the Valley of Monuments through one such canyon, and it is there you now find yourself.

Somehow, despite the windswept sand dunes mere meters away, the canyon before you remains virtually free of sand. Macabre hills fill this canyon, thousands of exposed skeletons laying atop one another, the sand dunes of most of the planet replaced by dunes of stark white bones. The dark side hangs thick in the air over this massive valley, flanked by four incredibly large crystals placed at each cardinal direction. This is one of a handful of ancient mass graves, the final resting place of literally thousands of slaves forced to give their lives millennia ago to create the massive monuments of Begeren. Far in the distance, massive Sith monuments rise before an impressive ancient palace, but your attention remains here, now, where the bones shift beneath your every step, crunching noisily. Ancient clubs, whips, and other weapons occasionally break through the bony landscape, testament to the vicious past of this place. To those that can even sense the most rudimentary of emotions through the Force, an even more sinister feeling permeates the air here: not only death, but suffering, anger, and hate.

The sun slowly creeps towards the mountains far beyond this impressive valley, casting long rays of light that reflect off many of the white bones littering the canyon. The heat here is oppressive, but the sun will depart soon, leaving you in cool darkness. You notice that the large crystal to the north, situated in the shadow of a large canyon wall, begins to shimmer a faint blue, causing the bones beneath it to take on a ghostly glow. You think you hear rustling of bones in the distance, and almost think you notice something movement, though it could just have been the wind. Your step hastens as you move quickly through the canyon, hoping to escape this place before sunset takes it, and reach areas with more valuable items to claim or destroy. But before you can make much progress, you begin to hear the telltale signs of another living being—the sound of footsteps crunching bones—and they are coming from just over one of the boney dunes that litter the area.

A robed and hooded figure stalked silently across the desert of Begeren, making his way towards a distant mountain range. Directly before him lay a twisted canyon path, littered with piles upon piles of ancient, sun-bleached bones. This canyon, like many others nearby, served as mass graves for slaves of the ancient Sith. Brotherhood intelligence had sent word of the canyons to the Clans, as a way to slip past One Sith forces and enter the Valley of Monuments—one of the few locations on Begeren still in the hands of the One Sith.

Walking alone behind enemy lines, Aidan Kincaid had his senses stretched to their utmost, wary of sudden attack. After his last surprise encounter with an enemy Dark Jedi, he was not leaving anything to chance. The constant concentration slowed him down somewhat, but he deemed it was worth the caution. The canyon was an ideal location for setting up a trap with its tightly enclosed walls and hazardous footing. It was possible that the One Sith were guarding their back door.

The overly familiar caress of the dark side was strong in this place, built upon the decades of suffering of thousands of slaves sent unceremoniously to early graves. Their anguish echoed with the Force here, becoming all but a nexus of dark side energy. The constant pulsing of power grated at Kincaid's overly acute senses, but it had been many years since the allure of the darkness held sway over his emotions.

Above the distant mountains, the sun was already beginning to set and he had only made it a quarter of the way through the canyon. It wouldn't be long before full dark descended, and he was loathe to wander around with the specters of the dead.

To the right of the setting sun, a massive crystal—one of four surrounding the Valley—began to shimmer with pale, blue light. All around the canyon, the bones of the dead seemed to glow in response with the same unearthly hue. Seeing this, Kincaid felt a premonition of danger and started to increase his pace. It was then, for just an instant, that he heard the cracking sound of bones being stepped on. The constant pulsing of the dark side had hidden someone from him.

Now locked on a target, Kincaid focused his power. From a quick read, he understood a few things about his unwelcome shadow. He was Human. Male. And of average power and ability… not much of a threat. Still, there was precious little time to waste dealing with an enemy. If he simply ignored the man for now, it was possible he would reveal himself at the worst possible time. With the dark forces within the valley seemingly growing in power as the light faded away, Kincaid felt he could not take such a risk. A protracted fight would only lead to more problems. He had to lure the man in quickly and end this.

Despite his power brushing against his shadow, it appeared the man was unaware that he had been discovered. Curious. It was rare for a Force-sensitive to lack such awareness. But, this worked in Kincaid's favor. Slowing his movements, he drew his power into himself, concealing his strength so as to appear as weak and easy prey. As he had hoped, his shadow gained ground on him, stalking across the canyon wall some dozens of feet above the ground.

Oddly enough, as the man drew closer, Kincaid felt a clumsy mental probe assaulting his thoughts. It was an odd risk to take. Perhaps his shadow felt that the probe would go unnoticed or, more likely, had gambled on learning something of his opponent, realizing that if the probe was felt then he had probably been sensed anyways. Still, with the connection established, it worked both ways.

The man was an assassin. Even the wisp of thoughts at the forefront of his mind were entirely focused on the mission he had been given by his superiors. He and his men were hunters and killers… the ones sent to remove interferences that the Clan wanted removed. They were eager to take revenge on the one who had interfered with their earlier plans. Kincaid couldn't stop the small, cynical smile from curling the corner of his lips.

He was the target.

Before the man could delve too deeply, Kincaid took a deep breath and focused his mind. He overrode his normal perception of the situation, increasing his fear and anxiety until his surface thoughts became an embarrassing façade of weakness. It was enough. Pulling what eager information he could from Kincaid's mind, the assassin would have assured himself it wasn't the right target. However, he had revealed himself and Kincaid turned towards him, forcing the man to either attack or fade away.

He disappeared from sight and, for a moment, Kincaid believed his shadow had given up the chase. Then he saw a shimmer in the darkness. Focusing on that shimmer, Kincaid could see a silhouette of the man flying through the air towards him.

Kincaid activated his lightsaber and drew upon the Force to leap upwards. The assassin shed his cloak of darkness and swung downwards with a bright blue blade. Kincaid and his shadow collided in an explosion of sparks, their lightsabers crashing together in midair. Using the momentum of each other's attack, they broke apart and landed a few yards from each other.

The assassin was slightly built and only a bit shorter than Kincaid. His features were hidden by a dark, durasteel mask, which covered his entire face and made his eyes appear to glow a shocking cobalt blue. Up close, Kincaid could see the Clan insignia embossed on the assassin's robes. He was an Arconan, likely sent in retaliation for what Kincaid’s earlier actions in Begeren’s northern wastes. With the slightest effort of will, Kincaid released the bindings on his power.

"You've made an unfortunate mistake, Arconan."

The Onderonian took an unconscious step backward as every fibre of his being instructed him to flee, to put as much distance between himself and this thing as physically possible. The Taldryan was unlike anything Celevon had ever encountered: Layers upon layers of tightly coiled power, carefully controlled by an ironclad will being slowly released. It felt as though icy tendrils were running over every nerve ending, revealing every strength and weakness contained within the Assassin for view.

Kincaid hardly appeared as a man, more like a weapon forged into the humanoid figure presented through trials of untold pain, both physical and mental. It would take every ounce of the Arconan’s training, primal instinct and more to survive the battle with this creature before him.

Bone snapped underfoot as Celevon took a further step back, barely heard over his own pulse pounding in his ears. Deep within the Qel-Droman’s mind, a switch had been flipped. He heard the familiar gravelly tones of the man who had made him what he was.

‘Your mind is your best weapon, ad’ika. Remember your training,’ Sashar’s voice echoed in his head. Following the instructions from his past, the Assassin focused on the Dark Jedi Master’s abdomen, looking for the slight tension that would trigger an offensive motion.

The Assassin’s eyes widened beneath his durasteel mask as the Elder leapt towards him with preternatural grace. Rather than attempting any kind of defense, Celevon dove to the side and rolled back to his feet, bringing his cobalt lightsaber around as he spun towards his opponent.

Kincaid was already there, a whirlwind of kinetic energy. The Dark Jedi Master’s amber blade moved as an extension of his body as he struck at either of the Onderonian’s shoulders, Celevon’s motions blurred into the same movement as his lightsaber bounded between the two wide strikes.

To the untrained eye, it would appear as though the pair were a blur of energy. Cobalt and amber danced around one another, meeting for a split-second in a clash of emerald sparks.

The Equite continued backpedaling, his blade in a constant motion as he knocked the Marauder’s weapon aside. Within his mind, Celevon was locked in a battle with his past. Every time he attempted to raise the purging flames he used to aid him in battle, Sashar was there swatting it aside.

None of that osik, kiddo. Use that emotion. Let it flow and take advantage of any opportunity that presents itself.

Aidan’s eyes narrowed as he studied his opponent’s motions. It seemed the Prelate was almost distracted by something. Whilst the maneuvers themselves were nearly flawless, it seemed as though they were mechanically done. Kincaid opened himself further to the Assassin, trying to get a read on the lithe Arconan. The Dark Jedi Master’s senses screamed a warning at him at virtually the same moment as the younger male’s emotional state went from practically nonexistent to a violent explosion.

To the Marauder, it appeared as though the Onderonian were a turbulent storm abruptly appearing over the horizon. A maelstrom of energy, ready to strike without warning.

The Equite thrust out with his left hand, a focused burst of telekinetic energy delivered at almost point-blank range to Kincaid’s solar plexus. It wasn’t much, but it served to knock the Taldryan back a step and interrupt the flurry of attacks.

The Dark Jedi Master closed the distance once more, amber blade flashing in an overhand strike towards the Onderonian. Only then did Celevon move, twirling his cobalt beam of energy, knocking his opponent’s lightsaber blade aside.

Kincaid instantly took note of the altered grip and stance before the Arconan went on the offensive. The Taldryan leapt back from the slash that was clearly aimed to behead him. It had passed close enough for Aidan to smell burnt ozone. He felt a small sense of amusement at the Qel-Droman’s actions. ‘Time to teach this kid a lesson.’

The Onderonian spun his cobalt blade, knocking the amber one aside as Celevon rolled the hilt in his palm until the beam was in the reverse direction, attempting to get inside of the Elder’s defenses.

The Dark Jedi Master released a powerful wave of telekinetic energy at point blank range, sending the Assassin off his feet, tumbling head over heels.

As Celevon tumbled through the air, time seemed to slow as he made an odd observation. Three of the crystals are glowing brightly... and the fourth is growing brighter as the sun sets deeper into the horizon. Oh, this is going to hurt like-

Thought fled in a blur of pain as the Arconan struck the uneven surface, jagged bone digging in as he landed on his side. The Assassin slowly pushed himself to his feet, the now-familiar sound of bone crunching beneath feet signalling the approach of the Marauder.

Kincaid walked slowly over the uneven ground towards the fallen Arconan, stepping around piles of bones. The fight had been a brief, but annoying waste of time. The Arconan was lying still. Blood poured copiously from the man's side where a shard of bone had lodged itself into his stomach from the sheer force of Kincaid's attack. It was a fatal wound.

Still, Kincaid's sense of danger had grown alarmingly since the fight began. It was not the here and now that worried him, but a burgeoning fear of things to come. The crystals surrounding the valley were now blindingly bright in the darkness, pulsating with power, and the skeletal bones of the dead reflected that light. As he gazed up at the color emitted by the northern crystal, Kincaid had a strange feeling of recognition.

"Like Bosthirda," he mused.

An ominous feeling pulled Kincaid's focus back to the present. A rippling sensation in the Force… more assassins? No. He spun around to witness a pair of creatures materialize out of the darkness a few dozen yards away, their presence no longer hidden. Hssiss—dark side dragons. Kincaid cursed under his breath. The mass graves and the dark energy… it was obvious such beasts would be drawn to this place. They had probably remained hidden under the piles of bones during the day, emerging in the dark of night to hunt.

And they had found their prey.

Distracted by the Hssiss, Kincaid almost missed the movements of the Arconan. He spun and activated his assassin lightsaber in time to barely deflect a sudden, vicious attack. The Arconan was up and seemingly unharmed, his wound completely healed. Kincaid gritted his teeth. The wound wasn't healed… it had never existed in the first place. The Arconan had crafted such a believable illusion to bait Kincaid into lowering his guard. It had been a close thing. Had he been only a second slower, the Arconan's blade would have found its mark.

Reactivating his lightsaber, Kincaid squared off against the assassin. He was trapped between the Arconan and the Sithspawn who were slowly stalking them, and the terrible premonition he had was becoming stronger. He tightened his grasp on his weapon and prepared to launch a flurry of attacks, but stopped. The Arconan was holding one hand to his ear.

"Target acquired," he spoke aloud. "Converge on my position."

Of course. Things just had to get worse. "I guess it was foolish to assume you worked alone," Kincaid muttered.

The Arconan changed his posture, took a half a step backwards, and raised his lightsaber defensively. "Believe me, I would have much preferred that but, unfortunately, you're not an opponent I can defeat alone. The rest of my team was hunting in the other canyons," he explained. "It's only a matter of time until you fall."

Kincaid had heard about the Arconan battle team sent on assassination missions. Arete. It would seem he had really gotten under the Arconan's skin. It would take maybe ten minutes for the other members to start arriving, Kincaid calculated. At that point, he would be in serious trouble. The assassin before him had skills enough to drag the fight out, and that wasn't even counting the Sithspawn slowly edging closer.

The Sithspawn.

Kincaid circled wide to the right, moving farther away from the creatures, and the Arconan pivoted to follow him. The man had not sensed the Hssiss. There was still a chance to end this fight quickly and continue on to the Valley of Monuments. Kincaid tensed his muscles. Even without knowing the reason, he felt that time was running out. Whatever was happening in the Valley was of great importance and the One Sith would be at the heart of it. He had to deal with the situation at hand quickly. For that, he needed a distraction.

Kincaid kicked off the ground with his left foot and leapt. He crashed into the Arconan, their blades locking together briefly as he used the force of his attack to drive the Arconan backwards. Power flowed through Kincaid. He bolted after the Arconan, swinging his blade in a furious blaze of rapid, glancing attacks. It would have been a simple matter to overwhelm the assassin's defense, but Kincaid drew the exchange out. He needed just a bit more time. The Hssiss were almost upon them, warily stalking the two Jedi as they fought.

The Arconan raised his off hand and Kincaid felt the gathering of power. He raised his own left hand in response and released an explosive wave. The concussive blasts slammed into each other, vying for dominance, but the Arconan could not stand against the sheer strength of a Dark Jedi Master. Kincaid's wave smashed through the Arconan's attack and threw the man back. The power had been diminished somewhat, but it was still strong enough to stun. It was time. Kincaid flipped backwards and landed on a small hill of bones. He drew his secondary lightsaber with his left hand, flipped the hilt around, then whipped the weapon towards the Arconan at lightning speed.

The sapphire blade ignited in midair, flying straight at the Arconan's chest. Despite being disoriented, the Arconan managed to just barely raise his blade and deflect the attack. The lightsaber spun off target, as expected, and but bit deep into the Arconan's left leg. It wasn't a killing blow, but it wasn't meant to be.

Drawn by the blood and pain, the Hssiss finally attacked, releasing a growling screech as they shuffled towards the wounded man. The Arconan turned at the sound and noticed, far too late, the presence of the Sithspawn. A bloodcurdling cry came from behind the man's mask as the first Hssiss sank its teeth into his right arm. The assassin would no longer be an issue now, and the gruesome sight would be the perfect distraction to keep the other Arconans busy for a time. Now, Kincaid was free to reach the Valley of Monuments.

Hopefully he wasn't too late.

Celevon rose to his feet, brushing the shards of bone from his body as he focused on the Force flowing over his skin as the wounds sealed over. With a flick of his thumb, the cobalt blade erupted into existence in time to block the amber lightsaber of the Dark Jedi Master.

Kincaid flipped over the Onderonian before launching a series of wide strikes to either side of the Prelate. As their weapons flared to and fro, the sun began to fade into the horizon as the darkness blanketed their surroundings. The southernmost crystal brightened more and more as the seconds passed, pulses of energy almost leaving the structure.

The pair locked blades as they both attempted to attack each other in the same moment, sparks flying as their weapons spat and crackled against one another. A roar of Force energy caused the two to look around, separating.

“What are you doing?” the Assassin murmured, looking around warily.

“That isn’t me...”

Crackles of energy erupted from each of the crystals, coming in blue, green, red and white. They shot out to the center of the mass grave with the appearance of multi-colored lightning, swirling around as the shades blended. To the two Force Users, it appeared as a twisted form of Force energy, darker than anything either had felt in all of their experiences.

Without warning, it sunk into the ground and shot outward in all directions. By instinct alone, both Celevon and Aiden leapt over the wave. The Marauder wound up a distance away from the younger male, his amber blade humming at his side.

Glowing runes lit from within the bones in a dark shade as they slid across the sands, forming piles that slowly built upon themselves. As the skeletons rose, they retrieved the weapons that had become theirs from the moment their Masters had brought them back to serve eternally. Dark Guardians that served in both life and death.

In that exact moment, the two opponents were united in a single thought: destroy the opposition.

The Elder didn’t wait a single moment before leaping into the fray as he unleashed the full range of his skills. His lightsaber flashed back and forth as he jumped and spun between different groups, his blade burning through ancient bone and that with tatters of flesh still clinging to it without prejudice.

Celevon spun and slashed his way through the reanimated corpses, his cobalt beam burning a path of destruction through them. It was the first time he had truly let loose with his emotions and explored the extent of his abilities, melding athletic ability, skill with a blade and the powers of the Force.

It was at that second that a thought occurred to the Prelate: a way to escape this and survive. As he wove a quick illusion through the Force, Celevon bent light and sound around him in another cloak of darkness. To the skeletal opponents, it appeared as though the Assassin were sucked down into the sands.

With the second living being no longer within view, the mass of reanimated bone converged upon the Dark Jedi Master. Kincaid moved faster than the eye could detect, even to most Force Users. As the amber blade carved through, leaving a red-hot line through one, the Taldryan was already moving on to his next target before the bones tumbled to the ground.

Once the focus was no longer upon the Onderonian, he moved towards the southern crystal. Celevon quickly ignited and deactivated his lightsaber just long enough to slash through the top of the formation, cleaving a pyramid of crystal from it. The Prelate waited for it to cool enough to handle, watching the almost diabolical manner in which Aiden dispatched the skeletons. Once it had cooled sufficiently, the Assassin grabbed the burnt crystal and fled, not aware of the femur entangled within his robes.

Nor was he aware of the fact that the light within the runes that were etched into the bone fading away as soon as he exited the circle that the crystals created.

Before long, Kincaid stabbed his lightsaber through one of the crystals and channeled Force energy into it. The structure brightened as it began to overload with energy, blinding in its intensity before it exploded. The Elder erected a barrier of Force energy almost at the last second to protect himself from the shrapnel.

As the skeletons tumbled to the ground, losing their form before they disintegrated into ash, the Taldryan took a deep breath. A flick of his thumb had the amber blade winking out of existence as he searched for the Arconan with his senses. But Kincaid already knew his opponent had fled in the chaos.

No challenge at all. Pity.