Aura opened her eyes to the blazing sun, wincing as she slowly sat up. Sand fell from her, having tried to bury the Zeltron in her brief period of unconsciousness. Everything ached, and the last clear memory she had was of skipping across the ground; like a rock upon the surface of a pond. Her eyes searched the nearby area, spotting the wayward Ryn's tail sticking out of a mound of sand. There was a groan of pain.
At least he's still alive, she thought with a sigh and pushed herself to her feet. A thick scent of smoke and burnt sand filled the air, and the blast area where they’d been looked odd. Thermal imploder, probably.
The Force warned her to move to the side; sand turned to glass as blaster fire splashed against where she'd been standing. Laughter drew her gaze to the smoking remains of the tug, where she saw the Twi'lek she'd come to apprehend. The woman had one arm raised, a wrist-mounted weapon spitting bolts at the Zeltron.
"Shame this beauty didn't roast you, Jedi, but at least I get to have some fun!"
"Gwendolyn! Surrender yourself to Odan-Urr, and I can guarantee your physical safety!"
The Technocrat let out a wild, mocking laugh. "Sure! Like I'd let one of you robe-wearing schuttas lay your hands on me!"
Aura glanced towards where Bleu was, seeing sand run off him as he tried to stand. He looked unsteady, his eyes unfocused.
Good. Gwendolyn doesn't look as if she's armed for close quarters. If I can get in, I can end this before Kordath can do something he regrets. And I can get the information about the bomb.
The Odanite made her decision and began running towards Sparks. She sidestepped and watched as a wrist rocket flew past her. The explosion from behind caused her cloak to flutter around her as she continued. Another volley of lasers came streaking towards her, and Aura lifted a hand, focusing. The red blasts cascaded out in a corona of wasted energy before her as the Rollmaster closed in on the mad bomber.
"Stand down, Gwendolyn!" she shouted in warning, annoyed with the woman's antics. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Kordath limping along, his eyes searching the ground she was crossing.
What is he— * she began to think, before being brought up short as a dark disc, about a foot in diameter, came up out of the sand. It floated, briefly, before being tossed off to the side, landing upside down and releasing a torrent of fire. *Good catch, Bleu, I'd have never spotted that while dealing with her.
She gave a brief, grateful nod to her sometimes Arconan ally, and turned to glare at the Twi'lek ahead of her. The Technocrat looked annoyed; Aura definitely was as she began to gather the Force in preparation for a final rush. Her blue eyes widened when Gwendolyn unslung an odd looking weapon from her back, too large to be a slugthrower but not like any blaster she'd ever seen.
"Oh, sithspit," she heard Bleu snarl, "'Nades!"
The Zeltron slowed her pace but didn't stop as Sparks leveled the launcher, a twisted smirk on the woman's face.
"Special delivery!"
The grenade launcher fired with a dull thump, the projectile hurtling out towards the Odanite. Aura was ready, redirecting the energy she'd gathered to reach out and snatch the grenade out of the air. It hung for a moment, before she batted it back down towards the Technocrat agent.
The explosion knocked the Twi'lek from her feet, and Aura rushed ahead, saber at the ready. She kicked the launcher away and pointed the tip of her blade to demand a surrender. Aura threw a glance Kordath's way, seeing the man shift and reach for the blade strapped to his thigh. When she looked back down, her eyes widened in alarm.
"This is gonna be beautiful way to go!" laughed Sparks, holding up a thermal detonator.
Aura felt the Ryn slam into her side with unnatural power, and the world turned white as the detonator exploded.
"Aura! AURA!?"
Kordath slapped the Zeltron, trying to wake her. Blue eyes blinked up at him after a few tense moments, drawing a sigh of relief from the Ryn.
"Ow."
"Yeah, no kiddin'. Uh, do nae move, okay, lass? Now, help me out here, eh? I need ya— I need ya ta be calm and stuff, yeah? Slow breaths, like, uh, like yer meditatin', okay? Ya know how ta do tha whole trance thing, right?"
"What? Why? Where's Sparks?" asked the Zeltron, her voice distant and her eyes confused.
Bleu licked his lips nervously and glanced back at the crater that had been the woman he'd come to kill. He couldn't help but see the damage to the Odanite when he looked that way. His cloak was wrapped around the stumps of her legs. He'd managed to get her mostly out of the blast range. Mostly.
"Sorry, luv, she blew herself ta bits. I found her wee' probe droid though, might have something about that bomb in yer camp on it."
"Oh. Good," she mumbled. To Bleu she looked pale, her skin turning an unhealthy pallor. "I'm glad you didn't kill her, Kord."
"Yeah," he whispered, looking down at her in concern. "Thank ye, fer worryin' about me. You was probably right. Terrible idea. Now, focus, luv, can ya do tha trance? Kinda important?"
"Why?"
"Not tha time fer questions, Aura! Please!"
"Mmm, never was too good at it. I feel...cold..."
"No, no, no!" he muttered, checking to see how tightly he'd wrapped the makeshift bandages. He was missing Atyiru again; fieldcraft and medicine were never his forte. He'd tried to staunch the bleeding, hoping she knew how to put herself in a trance until he could find help. When he turned back, her eyes were looking blankly at the sky.
He could sense nothing from her.
"Kark me, no, no! Aura? Aura!?"
Positive Takeaways
I loved the play into both Aura's habitual use of pheromones and her Aspects relating to giving people the benefit of the doubt, and killing as a last resort. It shows attention to the subject matter and a deft hand at naturally applying it to the narrative. Overall, the emotions conveyed are very strong in this while painting a clear picture. Would have liked a bit less build up and a bit more conflict, but the tension is held nicely.
Areas For Improvement
The transition above is a bit awkward from a narrative point of view. It skips from searching to declaring "Not a threat, but not someone [...]". It reads as if there is an entire sentence missing. Namely, a reference to spotting or sensing the threat. Something between searching and quantifying. This is actually prevalent in more subtle ways later on, like "She paused, hood falling away [...]". Just reads as if "her hood" is missing from it. It's a weird cadence thing, and less of an issue than the above where the focal point seems missing altogether.
This reads to me like he just got shocked. Especially the spasming and twitching. However, to the best of my deductions, I can only lay this on the "Stun" feat for Aura's sheet. Based on its description, it locks up the muscles of a target and freezes them in place. The misfiring seems to go above and beyond this. It's a marvelously humorous image painted on the page, but gives off the appearance of a shock, as I said, rather than the intended lock in place. Flags it as a minor Realism fault.