The smaller Chiss stood up and took a few steps back from his new test subject. He couldn’t resist the opportunity to study the effects of his newest creation in a combat setting, especially against an opponent in top physical condition like the “scion of the noble house Garmis.” Rhylance watched as Strong shook his head, trying to clear the fog that seemed to plague his eyes. He winced in pain as he inhaled deeply, his ribs causing him pain and discomfort.
Strong pushed himself up to his feet trying to ignore the pain of his burnt chest. His vision began to clear but the scene around him had changed dramatically. Fire was everywhere; the trees, the huts, the canopies ablaze against the darkening skies. The Chiss spotted movement coming from the hut he was meant to be guarding. A burned figured pulled another out of the charred hut as flames kissed the blackened wood. Strong ran over to the them as they fell over and caught them in his arms. A familiar set of gray eyes stared back at him and widened in shock and pain.
“Strong...lad, where were ye’?” The body he held was that of his master, Kordath Bleu. “You were...supposed to pro...tect us…” Strong’s looked on in shock as Ryn’s body went slack, the life draining from his eyes. Looking to the other charred body the Chiss could make out similarities to his master’s superior. No breath came from her stilled body.
”What is this villainy?!” Strong’s pulse was racing. He could feel the blood pumping in his ears. He...he had failed! His master, the lady Satsi, they died on his watch. It had to have been the other Chiss, the one of the wretched house Ehause. The veins in his arms bulged as he tightened his muscles in anger. Strong knew what he needed to do. Rhylance had to die!
“What have you done Stres’trong? How could you have failed in your duties?” a familiar voice rang through the Chiss’s head. His pulse continued to spike as his eyes widened to outrageous proportions.
“No, you...you can’t be here,” he said, standing up from the dead bodies and turning to face the source of the voice. “You have no reason to be on Kashyyyk, Father!”
“You boast stories of your name, a name you yell out with undeserved pride.”
“Please stop… how are you here?”
“The name “Garmis”,” the older-looking Chiss in front of him said while shaking his head, “You claim this name as if it gives you superior strength.”
The wooden platform they stood on crackled from the intense heat of the flames that surrounded them. Strong watched in silence as the fire encircled his father.
“Father, you must leave now!”
“You are a disgrace!” the man spat out, “You dishonor me, your mother, your family! You dishonor the great name Garmis!”
The yellow-orange, petal-like flames licked his father's robes and caught them alight.
“Please, just go.” The Fade’s words were barely a whisper as he watched his father burn.
“You sicken me, boy. You are an insult to me! You have tarnished the name Garmis forever!”
All of the sound around Strong went silent. He watched in horror as his father was swallowed by the roaring inferno around him. The last words of Lord Garmis rang through his very being.
You have tarnished the name Garmis forever!
YOU HAVE TARNISHED THE NAME GARMIS FOREVER
YOU. HAVE. TARNISHED. THE. NAME. GARMIS. FOREVER!
His heart thumped hard in his chest, sweat dripped down his face, Strong could feel his hands shaking as terror struck its chord. His deep blue face seemed to drain of color as he fought to catch his breath. His father burned...and he could only watch.
“I...I failed them...I failed him…” Strong muttered quietly as the flames crept closer to him. He could feel the cracking of his skin from the pyre’s heat.
…
Rhylance watched the scene before him with vigorous interest. The much larger Chiss had been running around punching the air, shouting random words at nothing. The muscular imbecile was calling out to his father repeatedly during the whole experience.
Subject seems to have a strong obsession with proving something to his father. Issues such as these tend to reflect either a less than satisfactory relationship with the parent growing up, or a disproportionate time spent between parent and children.
As Rhylance recorded his observations he coughed hard, and blood again covered his lips.
I need to take care of this sooner, rather than later.
The Taldryan Consul touched his chest in a very direct manner to locate the injury and determine how bad it could be.
I estimate that two ribs on the right side of my body are fractured and bruising. Must conduct treatment before any more serious harm may come to me.
Rhylance pulled out a small med pack and opened it up. After procuring the correct supplies the Chiss removed his jacket and pulled up his under-shirt. As his blue flesh welcomed the cooling sensation of the air against his bare skin he began to wrap the affected area with a piece of fabric gauze. The Consul then pulled out a syringe filled with a luminescent blue fluid and stuck the needle under the ribs, injecting the fluid into his own body. The pain alleviated after another few minutes.
As Rhylance composed himself and put his clothes back on he heard what sounded like a high pitched moan coming from the nearby hut. Taking a second to build up the will to continue after that disgusting display of candid affection, Rhylance pulled out his blaster. He’d had enough of these games. He needed that cache. A loud crash distracted him from his endeavors.
“What the kark did you do over there?”
“Sorry, Lass, I seemed ta ‘ave knocked over a wee bottle o’ wine onto these here papers.”
“Were they important?”
“I doubt it. Them glass vials that were under ‘em mighta been, though.”
“You frakken…”
Rylance stopped in his tracks as he heard the conversation. His cache, the only reason he even came to this backwoods planet, the only reason he put up with this ridiculous confrontation, had just been ruined during the consummate relations of three voyeuristic morons. Setting the weapon to stun, he prepared to enter the hut and get them while their pants were down.
…
Strong was frozen in fear; his fear of failure, not just of his mission but his failure to his family. He’d never experienced such raw heart-thundering fear. It was so...unnatural. The Chiss looked around and saw fire spreading everywhere. He should have been panicking but there was something in his head nagging at him, something he was missing. But what?
He tried tried to brush away the thoughts in his head and the fear in his heart, but the mind breaking terror kept pulling him back. His family name drug through the mud. His noble Chiss house...wait...Chiss...house...Ehause!
The flames surrounding Strong began to die down. He remembered what he was supposed to be doing. He remembered the Consul who had subjected him to this mental anguish. His purpose was clear. As the hallucination he had suffered finally died away, Strong looked around to see the very same Chiss holding a blaster and walking up to the hut!
Strong ran at the Consul’s back and grabbed ahold of him while he was preoccupied. Rhylance struggled against the much larger Chiss as Strong wrapped an arm around his throat and applied pressure, cutting off Rhylance’s air supply. The medic tried to fight back, but Strong, who he realized had broken free of the fear gas, was causing him to black out. The world grew darker until Rhylance’s eyes closed, falling unconscious.
Strong tossed the Consul’s body to the side and prepared to pay the other Chiss back for the horrors he suffered. Walking in stride to the downed medic, he cracked his knuckles in anticipation of some much deserved retribution. Normally Strong wouldn’t subject an opponent to such torturous cruelty, but this Chiss had earned such treatment with his unsportsmanlike form of fighting.
“Oi, you big lug, whatcha got there?” the voice of Strong’s master rang out. Turning to the voice’s source the Chiss was pleased to see that they were finally done with their “negotiations”.
”A trespasser. I took great care of him, don’t worry about this vagrant.”
“Trespasser, that sounds fun.”
Satsi, the current Consul of Clan Arcona, approached the two Chiss’ and observed both. Smiling at the realization of who this other blue skinned humanoid was, she figured this would be her best shot at him.
“Strong, go fetch my bag from the hut, would you dear?” she asked the muscle bound freak.
”If that is what you desire, milady.” Strong unknowingly agreed to whatever she wanted.
“Kord, be a dear and you take this frakker to the ship. I’ve some speaking to do with this Chiss of yours.”
“Of course, always sendin me out on dirt jobs. Oh, kark.”
The Ryn struggled to pull the medic away to the ship. He knew that he had the energy to get him there, even after his carnal activities. As soon as he was out of sight, Satsi turned to the towering Chiss who was returning empty handed.
“Milady, there seems to be no bag in the hut. Only the sleeping Wookie,” the Fade announced as he approached Arcona’s Consul.
“What the Frak did I tell you would happen if you didn’t keep that trap closed?” she asked him with an expression promising pain.
Thinking back, Strong could only remember a slight threat against carrying on his family's na…
“No, Please no, milady. NO!”
Positive Takeaways
There is a clear attempt at embodying the differences of the characters and putting them not just on display, but side by side for comparison. Same origin, but very different individuals.
Areas For Improvement
Attack of the ellipsis! Should always be three dots. No more, no less.
Sometimes it doesn't hurt to read over things out loud. You get a sense of the flow. This is all kinds of awkward. This would also tie into checking the preview to make sure your markdown didn't break anywhere. Just retrace your steps a bunch to make sure they are solid.
While this is a long and solid post, there just isn't much combat in it as there could be. As structured, much of the tempo is left to your opponent to dictate. It was also a bit confusing with the sudden blood on Strong's arm. I had to reread a couple times to make sure I didn't miss anything concerning what caused it.