Lightning shatters the sky and strikes the spire atop the cloning complex towering before anyone who steps off their ship and onto the rain-slick landing platform. Kamino, the Planet of Storms, is known for its roiling seas and constant torrential downpour. The fall of the Galactic Empire hit the planet’s primary export of military cloning projects extremely hard, but the Kaminoans remained afloat, both figuratively with contracts to galactic warlords, and literally with the brilliant engineering of their iconic seaborne cities.
The initial landing pad is a wide circle designed to accommodate a variety of ships, and is connected to a series of other platforms as well. Every surface is slick with rain, but avoids flooding due to the sloped edges that allow the water to run off into the sea below and away from the centerpoint.
The cloning facility’s exterior is characterized by similar slopes, and raindrops rapidly transform into steam as they touch against the series of lightning rods around the platform, much like they would if they dripped onto a lightsaber blade.
History tells of the fateful encounter between Obi Wan Kenobi and renowned Bounty Hunter Jango Fett. The doors of the facility are sealed, which means that whatever challenge awaits you, will have to be faced in the heart of the omnipresent rainstorm.
Positive Takeaways
Great job saying the mission in your first post. And then setting up hooks for your opponent.
Good job setting up the action at the end.
Nice setting of the match.
Can Be Improved
Motivations are key to ACC matches, some of which can be established as your character reacts to others. These are moments you could have followed up on to really flesh out Hyle more. I would have liked more info here. Something to make me really understand how your character thinks.You could even pull in your aspects.
Easy Spelling/Grammar mistakes were pretty prevalent. A good proof could have prevented this. A few key things I’d like to point out though. First, watch out for hyphenated words like red-skinned. Second, punctuation while using quotes. Usually, it follows the general formula of “stuff,” said person OR “stuff,” said person, “more stuff.” OR “stuff!” said person.
Holy run on Batman! Break this up.