Outer Rim Territories
Nar Shaddaa
Street on Nar Shaddaa
A bustling street is often considered a hassle for those looking to get somewhere in a hurry. For those of a more nefarious purpose, it can be a veil to cover their plots and dealings from prying eyes. Such is the norm for a cycle on Nar Shaddaa and its snaking paths. The overwhelming glare of cantina neon signs beckoning at the corner of each bend do their best to draw the seething masses inside. They are mostly successful; most did not come to the parts of town like this to simply walk the streets. There were some who preferred to complete their business outside of the dives, where the viscous throng provided ample sound to cover any of the louder confrontations, and Wolfe was quite aware that he had been led to such a situation now. The fact that he had been led to the connecting alley of the dive he’d been refreshing himself at said as much. The Odanite might have been relatively new to embracing his place within the Force’s circle, but he was not so naíve as to be played the fool so easily. He cautiously watched the fidgeting Trandoshan that was leading him into the dark recesses of the alley. The hunter had clearly been targeting Wolfe for some time since his arrival in The Bottled Bothan, but had eventually walked up and claimed there was someone who wanted to meet Wolfe. Confident in his training, and a bit curious about who would want to meet him here, the acolyte had begrudgingly left his drink to follow the hunter, who, while armed, had not made his request with blaster in hand. The Trandoshan’s traditional armor could mean it was a mercenary, but who would hire a professional hunter like this reptile to target an acolyte? Surely the Collective wasn’t still trying to struggle after their defeat by the Brotherhood. Targeting apprentices would only get them so far, in any case. Intrigued by this train of thought, Wolfe decided to take control of the situation and stopped where he was. Peeking behind him to make sure the street was still in view, the acolyte called out upon turning back.
“Hold, mercenary.”
The Trandoshan stopped and gave a nervous glance around the alley, practically confirming Wolfe’s suspicion. The acolyte’s probing gaze picked out nothing among the piles of trash piled high against the walls, but something about the atmosphere made him aware that they were not the only two present anymore.
“I’ve let you play your little game, so why don’t you tell me just who I am supposed to be meeting…” His right hand rested upon a blaster hanging at his hip. “...And what they want from me?”
Whereas earlier he had gotten the feeling that there might be others present, the hairs on the back of his neck suddenly confirmed that someone was here. Not only here, but behind him. Spinning around brought Wolfe face to face with the source. Except there was no face. There was no one, just a soft breeze that brushed his tan cheeks. Confused, the acolyte turned back lest the Trandoshan be provided an easy target in his exposed back.
“What is this, mercenary? What do you want?”
With his eyes focused on a single point they picked up a flicker of movement to his left side. He couldn’t quite make out any specific shapes in the formless shadows criss-crossing both walls, but the space next to the hunter appeared to be...shimmering? The Trandoshan had noticed the disturbance as well, but instead of finding it a curiosity the hunter bowed its head in deference. Having paid its dutiful respects, the reptile turned to Wolfe and finally spoke.
“The massster will ssspeak.”
Before the acolyte could respond, the shimmering in the air opened itself up. As the translucent veil dissipated, it revealed the figure of a Zabrak in dark attire with a flowing cloak wrapping most of his body. Though the figure wore a concealing hood, his red hands showed at the edge of his sleeves and the hood itself bore indentions where horns tried to surface. The weight of his gaze fell upon Wolfe. His speech was rough and emitted as deep growls, more akin to a beast than an intelligent being.
“I thought I made it clear that I wanted Jedi, Kar’ssaret.”
The Zabrak’s tone remained neutral, but the wilt in the mercenary’s stance told Wolfe that it had failed in some regard. The mention of Jedi caught his attention especially, but he held his tongue in order to see what more there was to this story.
“Isss thisss not a Jedi? I sssaw its lightsssaber while it drank and it did not appear to be like those of the massster’s clan.”
The Zabrak stepped closer, letting some of the streetlight illuminate his face. Jagged black tattoos covered his naturally crimson skin, and his eyes were highlighted by the bright orange that coiled around his pupils. He stood a few inches taller than Wolfe, but pound for pound the acolyte figured he could match him if this turned as violent as he was beginning to feel it might. He raised his head slightly and watched as the Zabrak took a long pull of the night air into his nostrils before turning towards the Trandoshan.
“He doesn’t smell like a Jedi...” The Zabrak began a path around Wolfe, appraising him. “...but Odan-Ur has become a melting pot of sorts over these few years. Not that I would expect the Trandoshan Saraask’ar guild to know that.”
The name of his clan falling from this Zabrak’s lips caught Wolfe somewhat off guard and his face twitched. If this person--another mercenary, perhaps?--knew about Odan-Ur, than they must be affiliated with the Brotherhood to some degree. Some agent of one of the dark clans by the look of him, he wagered. A probe into the Force told him as much, revealing a swirling darkness within the Zabrak. Activity of this sort might be useful to his master and the Consul of Odan-Ur, Alethia. He decided it was time to go. Edging a step closer to the alley’s entrance and in-witness-range area, Wolfe unholstered his right blaster and placed it between him and the Zabrak. The Trandoshan made to arm himself, but the Zabrak threw out a hand to stop him. Thinking this was a sign of caution, Wolfe took another step. The tattooed warrior shrugged off his cloak, revealing a mixture of weaponry at his sides and back. There was an amused glint in his eye that matched the sheen sparkling off of his exposed zhaboka blades. As if one’s hunger was connected to the other.
“We are not finished, Odanite. Do not think I missed your little reaction to your clan’s name. Whether or not you are Jedi, I believe my Dreadlord would enjoy rooting around in your head for whatever secrets might reside there. If you are Jedi after all…” His lips curved into a snarling grin.
“...Then I will enjoy breaking you.”
Deciding to forego a steady retreat, Wolfe instead drew his second blaster and began peppering the alley way with bolts while he backed away. The Zabrak was quick, however, and he darted from one side to the other in a zigzagging fashion. Wolfe knew that at least one of the bolts should have made contact, but the Zabrak did not slow. Before Wolfe could focus and unleash a second volley, the warrior was upon him. With his arms raised and occupied by his blasters, the acolyte’s stomach was exposed to attack. Instead of slicing with one of his ryyk blades, however, the Zabrak ducked while coiling his right arm and struck out with an uppercut. The blow lifted Wolfe off of his feet and forced the wind from his lungs when he crashed to the ground.
The Zabrak huffed in disappointment.
“Get up, Odanite. Surely the First clan can offer better than this? I would have entertainment before I drag you before the Dread Lord.”
With a look of intense hunger, the Zabrak bore down on Wolfe. The acolyte was not going to count himself out just yet, however. No, he had a few tricks of his own.
Positive Takeaways
This was an excellent first post! It is immediately obvious that description is your strong suit. Surroundings, characters and combat; everything is described with clarity and detail. You also do an excellent job of providing individual character motivations. Well done!
Can Be Improved
An ellipsis is typically used to indicated trailing off or a hesitation. In this case, when you interrupt Wolfe’s speech in order to indicate an action, it is more appropriate to utilize commas instead.
There were also a few spelling errors: