Knight Areticus Altainatus vs. Master Marick Tyris

Knight Areticus Altainatus

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Human, Sith, Arcanist
vs.

Master Marick Tyris

Elder 2, Elder tier, The Council
Male Hapan, Force Disciple, Shadow, Obelisk
Comment

Alright, first off let me say thanks for completing the match and doing the thing, always fun to read the starting efforts of a newer writer.

Areticus, you’ve got a lot of creativity in this match. A lot of brilliant ideas that would have benefited from better pacing. It’s a hard balance to find, sometimes, between action scenes and allowing the reader to catch their breath (introspective moments, oh god why does my side burn, etc). Action scene followed by action followed by action may seem exciting, but it makes things more difficult to follow, and that hurts your Story score.

So, I think you’ve got talent, just slow down, read some of your stuff aloud when you’re not sure about the word usage, and read up more on the system. You’ve got a good foundation on the writing side of things and ideas, you just need to become more familiar with how it all ‘works’ in the setting.

Marick, outside of what I stated in your first post comments about making it clearer when drawing on the Force for some active powers, I don’t have a lot to say here. That and the touching sabers in your end post. Also, give me one of your daggers.

If either of you have any questions, want feedback, or just need to satisfy your curiosity, I’m always around on Telegram and email and happy to help.

With a score of 4.45, the match goes to Master Marick Tyris!

Hall Duelist Hall
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 1 Day
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Knight Areticus Altainatus, Master Marick Tyris
Winner Master Marick Tyris
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Knight Areticus Altainatus's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Master Marick Tyris's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Hoth: Ice Cave
Last Post 18 January, 2018 4:44 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Lord Marick Tyris Arconae Creon Neverse
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Couple of extra commas in your first post as you wrapped up. Couple of minor errors in your second post (breathe vs breath). Rationale: Have some strange swaps from past to present tense going on. Your second post had a lot of confusing flow issues and word choices that didn't make sense.
Story - 40%
Lord Marick Tyris Arconae Creon Neverse
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Liked where you took this fight, lots of action in your first post, some amusing if very self aware sass in your second. Lack of combat in your ending kept this from a five, for shame! Rationale: While your initial premise was good, you ran afoul some issues in your second post, as mentioned in the comments there.
Realism - 25%
Lord Marick Tyris Arconae Creon Neverse
Score: 5 Score: 3
Rationale: No issues Rationale: Alright, had some problems in your ending, as shown
Continuity - 20%
Lord Marick Tyris Arconae Creon Neverse
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: No issues Rationale: Marick's post has Areticus showing himself unarmed, your ending has him with his saber on his belt.
Lord Marick Tyris Arconae's Score: 4.45 Creon Neverse's Score: 3.2
Posts

Hoth Ice Cave

On the fringes of the Outer Rim territories and famous for being the one-time location of the Rebel Alliance, Hoth is a frigid world marred with fissures created from the tidal pull of Hoth’s three moons. Blanketed in a frozen ocean, massive oceanic currents beneath the southern hemisphere are the cause of constant seismic activities that result in a constantly shifting landscape of tunnels and caves.

Buried into the side of a fissure reaching hundreds of meters into the core of the planet is a network of tunnels leading into a cave. Its sole entrance is suspended within the wall of the fissure, requiring one to rappel down the dangerous crevasse and into the tunnels; one small miscalculation could send explorers descending the rest of the unmeasured height deep within the planet’s core.

Hoth Ice Cave

Insulated under several hundred meters of ice in all directions, the cave is protected against the gale force winds and the intense snowstorms that sweep along the planet’s surface. As a result, the cave is warmer than most of Hoth’s unforgiving cold with melting icicles dangling precariously overhead. In turn, this allows for more life to grow in addition to being a promising habitat for the hulking wampas that have been trapped this far below the surface. Beginning to thaw, it is obvious that this cave will eventually fall victim to seismic activity and disappear into the sheets of ice that surround it. Illuminating the cave’s interior with a dull blue glow, the luminous forms of lichen have taken up residence among the bones of the creatures unfortunate enough to be trapped here.

Caution must be exercised if one is to navigate the slippery slopes of the cave as melted icicles drip onto the cavern’s floor surface. In one corner of the cave, the ocean water has accumulated to form a large pool, providing sustenance to the rare lumni-spice growing within the crystalline complex, never to see the blue-white sun.

Areticus stood hunched over with one hand on his knee to keep him up. His hair was a mess, and his heart felt as though it was about to burst from his chest. Blood trickled down his ear along with the streams of sweat from his brow. He stared at his foe who kept himself unphased, even as the entire cavern began to shake and collapse. After gritting his teeth, Areticus managed a grin with a calming sigh, “I’ll take pride in knowing it took the Voice himself to defeat me.”

“That’s one way to rationalize your defeat,” Marick replied.

Areticus then raised himself upright, having finished drawing what reserves of the Force he could and focused them on enhancing his speed and awareness. This is it, he thought, the Infinite Empire be damned, this is about survival.

Earlier

“Sir, we’re getting some readings,” one of the expeditionary workers proclaimed. In response, Areticus walked over to the console terminal to inspect the monitor, “Only 300 kilometers deep, a bit shallow than expected for a vault.”

“Readings of heavy magnetism, radio waves, and restrained ion charges,” the worker continued.

“Good, relay comms to channel six. I will be joining the archaeological surveyors in rappelling down to the site,” Areticus proclaims.

“Umm, sir… You have a call,” another employee says.

“A call?”

“Yes sir, they are using brotherhood credentials.”

Areticus cringed, someone found out about his research. They are either here to reap the benefits of his work or shut it down. He wasn’t about to let either happen. If remnants of the Rakata Empire were uncovered, it would be undeniable proof that the Old Republic would be categorized more so with history than in legends.

“Have they identified themselves?” Areticus asked.

“Marick Tyris, sir.”

Areticus’ pupils shrunk a bit in hearing that name, “Tell him I’m not available.”

“And why would that be?” Marick asked, dropping one of the hired excavation bodyguard’s corpse on the ground next to him.

The other excavators silently withdrew from their seats, taking the nearest exit they could find. Areticus raised his arms at them in frustration before dropping them back to his side. Well this is happening. Stay focused. Use your wit. It has gotten you this far, and it will get you out of this as well.

“Fancy a warm brew?” Areticus asked.

Marick responded with the ignition of his lightsaber.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 19 January, 2018 10:02 AM UTC

A very meta premise but somewhat amusing in its own way.

Positive Takeaways


Gave a solid reason for Arreticus to be in such a place, this venue can be pretty tough on that front.

Can Be Improved


Conflict, you fell into a trap many opening posts do. You provided a ‘why’ for your character being there and a suspicion of why Marick is as well, but combat needs to happen in every post. Sabers have to touch, as we say, and killing random NPC number seven isn’t the same as the two characters interacting on some level.

The pale light of Marick’s lightsaber illuminated his hooded, shadowed visage. The black core of the violet blade accented the dark lines under his bright blue eyes—eyes that scanned the entire cavern with an eerily mechanical efficiency. His dark hair and beard contrasted against his smooth skin that showed faint, pale red signs of the frigid temperature of the ice planet.

“I’ll pass,” Marick Tyris replied calmly, his breath clouding against the caves chilled air. His boots barely registered a sound as he padded towards the Knight.

“Well, in that case,” Areticus replied, holding his empty hands out to the sides to demonstrate his lack of weapons. Altainatus offered the Voice a friendly smile, and then made a summoning gesture with his finger tips. “Could I see that?”

Marick felt his hand move forward on its own. He disengaged the lightsaber and tossed the hilt towards Areticus’ open hand. The Knight caught it with a grin, turning it over in hand and studying it to admire it.

“So, this is an Elder lightsaber,” he commented as he thumbed the ignition and studied the unique blade. “Neat.” Marick blinked once, but his face showed no sign of surprise, annoyance or impatience. In fact, there was not much sign of anything, really. He simply studied the Knight with attentive eyes and an unnervingly blank expression on his face.

“Areticus Altainatus,” the Voice of the Brotherhood stated aloud as if he we were reading off a datapad from memory. “Knight of House Ajunta Pall, Clan Plagueis—”

“ —You can read. No wonder they made you a Dark Councilor,” the journeyman quipped. “Apprentice Inquisitor. Age twenty-four,” Marick continued without so much as blinking. “Right handed Makashi practitioner.”

Areticus narrowed his eyes. “Alright, so you know who I am. I get it. Can you get to the point already?” Marick shrugged and then suddenly lurched forward with a surge of preternatural speed. His body became a blur as he closed the distance between the two men. A nudge from the Force allowed Areticus to shuffle backwards and interpose Marick’s captured lightsaber in front of his body. The Knight expected a frontal strike from the Master, but Marick feinted around the cross-block and then dipped low, lashing out with one of the onyx daggers that appeared in his hand from his belt.

The blade bit into Areticus’ side, causing him to grunt and shuffle backwards another step. With a growl, Altainatus snapped Marick’s lightsaber down to cleave the pesky dagger into pieces. To his surprise, the Master’s dagger met the fluorescent blade with stoic indifference.

Sith Alchemy!? he thought in panic as he tried to put more distance between himself and the Voice. Unfortunately, his heel clicked against the metallic terminal and he realized he had nowhere to go.

In one fluid motion, Marick Tyris countered the parry with a quick riposte, deftly inverting his second dagger and slamming the butt of its hilt into Areticus’ nose. Blood squirted as cartilage crunched and instinctive tears leaked from the Knight’s eyes. Taking full advantage of his opponents disorientation, Marick grabbed Areticus’ wrist, twisted deftly and sent his captured lightsaber clattering to the cavern floor.

Marick did not need to push hard to send the dazed Areticus toppling backwards awkwardly over the metallic terminal.

“I know exactly who and what you are, Areticus Altainatus, and I don’t have time for games,” Marick explained calmly. “Tell me what you are doing here, and I will consider letting you return to your Clan in one piece." There was no actual malice or bite to the Voice's words. He talked as if merely stating a fact.

Marick extended a hand to recall his lightsaber. He clipped it to his belt, and began to idly twirl his dagger between his fingers. “I owe your Quaestor that much, at the very least, for her loyal service to the Inquisitorius.”

Areticus opened his mouth to speak, but felt a sudden wave of nausea that kept him down on the floor.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 19 January, 2018 10:12 AM UTC

While I’m scratching my head at tossing the Knight your lightsaber, I suppose it was sporting.

Positive Takeaways


Plenty of action. Now I’m more annoyed by the rank restriction on those daggers.

Can Be Improved


Your use of amplification could be made slightly clearer, in that it seems like you just decided to ‘go fast’ with nothing suggesting you drew on the Force for it. This didn't affect your realism or story scores but it'd help the readers track whats going on, and I may have detracted if it was a repeated issue.

His advantage: Combat Superiority. Mental Acuity. Experience. Knowledge of my background. My advantage: Environmental knowledge. Information he seeks.

Areticus took a deep inhale and coughed. He stumbled, but regained his upright posture after a small wobble.”My apologies, I should have known better than to challenge someone of your caliber. I hope you can forgive me, I only wished to understand if your skill was deserving of your title.”

“What are you doing here? I won’t ask again.” Marick replied.

“Research,” Areticus replied promptly, “Seeking knowledge of an ancient time, one to which could be of great advantage to the brotherhood. Unfortunately, I fear the brotherhood wishes to keep silent the discoveries I am to make here. Seeing a Grand Inquisitor here rather than some subordinate, confirms this fear. I will stop you no longer. However, I must ask that you spare me an antidote from the poison currently coursing through me, before I am able to reveal the details and progress of my work here.”

“I suggest you hurry your explanation then, before the poison takes over,” Marick announced while folding his arms.

“There isn’t enough time in the day!” Areticus pleaded, “The amount of depth into this research condensed as simplicity as possible while giving you objective proof will certainly take longer than the poison holds. Allow me to at least make this work worthwhile, as I’m sure you have plenty more weapons layered with poison, do you not?” Areticus then slides unclips his lightsaber and places it on a table near Marick, “As a sign of good faith.”

Marick gave an inclining nod, and took an antidote from his kit and tossed it to Areticus, who then drank the bottle down. Areticus thanked Marick and walked to the nearest terminal to his left. He input a password which opened a display of various readings from seismic activity, metal deposits, and energy signatures.

“Nearly 300 kilometers down there shows a large reading of civilized activity here, only when our drill reached the crust of the planet did we receive radio waves from the source. Hoth’s surface has an additional layer of heavy ice in this region before reaching the mantle of the planet. Whatever made deposits here certainly wanted protection and concealment, but also viable accessibility.”

He then walked over to the terminal to Marick’s right and opened up a program that revealed a small camera display, “Now, I just activated the probes, and was going to see what was down here. I want to suggest it is the Rakatta Empire.”

“The Rakatta Empire is only legend, and should be regarded as such.” Marick proclaimed.

“Yes, but every piece of legend must have some grain of truth to it,” Areticus said while walking over to another terminal across from them with the monitor facing away from Marick, “You can control one of the probes there. Take a look, if there are empirical signs of their remnants here, then it would mean the Infinite Empire is more history than fiction.”

“Pravus would want to here this if it’s true, but it will have to be confidential information to all others,” Marick said while looking into the probes while keeping an eye on Areticus in the other terminal. He noticed that Areticus was typing and clicking a lot more than simple passwords and opening research programs.

“I feared as such, but we are all on the same side are we not?” Areticus insured with a smile as he saw Marick approach. “Imagine the brotherhood with an endless force of self manufactured starships and mechanical troops,” Areticus continued while typing further, “We would have no need for credits or risk of economic strain. In fact, we could challenge the very galaxy. My only request is that this be used for the benefit of Plagueis and to be credited for it’s discovery.”

“I can’t promise that, what are you doing?” Marick asked sternly.

Areticus looked up and raised both his hands with an innocent smile, and took a moment to subtlety gather the Force to bolster is agility, “Well in the event that there is a barricade of some sort, we have brought signal based explosives.” His hand then fell to press a single key, “I have just activated the detonation to all of them.”

Areticus focused to speed his mind and perceptually slow the passage of time. Surprise element. Instigate visual concealment. The Knight then flipped the table between them in the air with what strength he could at the Voice. Expeditious retreat with Force enhanced dexterity. Distractions if possible. He sent an illusion running the opposite way as he dashed in a dead sprint to a narrow hallway he knew led to his shuttle.

The lightly tossed table was almost instantly cut in half, and the distractionary doppelganger failed in its attempt to stir the Grand Inquisitor. With a flash he was nearly at Areticus’ heels until the an explosion from a nearby storage unit caused a rupture. Marick only needed a split second of adjustment to the seismic rupture in the ice cavern before his pursuit continued. He noticed that Areticus had made a considerable leap at the moment the detanation went off, revealing that he had timed it properly as to not lose balance in running away. It was a clever attempt, but also in vain.

As Areticus darted into the narrow hallway, his body jerked at the instinctual avoidance of the glint of steel from a sith dagger tearing at the ends of his coat. Immediately Areticus attempted to form an illusion of an ice boulder from the roof coming down between them. He took off his coat, threw it at Marick, drove his heels to cease his momentum, and turned to fight. The boulder caused Marick to dart his eyes, but it did not stop his momentum. As the coat came flying he simply waved it aside with one hand, which impressed him when he saw Areticus’ attempt to take advantage of his now opened torso.

Disarm. Pressure points and ligaments. Areticus slid his hand across the forearm of Marck, and took hold of the dagger by its handle and twisted it out of Marick’s grip. His leg went to strike for the heels and was met by a cross step with Marick. The two looked as if they were dancing as Marick went to reach for another weapon. Areticus countered with an open palm knife hand near the shoulder, one of which was blocked by a familiar knife hand deflection on Areticus’ forearm. Fire with fire.

The two exchanged a weave of motionary blows within the confines of their limited space. Areticus began to feel confident that he may hold an upper hand in hand to hand combat. However his advantage quickly ended when he was thrown by the Force and parts of his body cut and pierced by small daggers. The push by Marick sent him across the hallway and into the cave entrance used as a makeshift hangar bay.

“You spent so much time into researching this place, and would destroy it in an instant. Curious,” Marick said from his slow approach from the hallway.

The remnants will survive, Areticus thought, and I will return for them.

Areticus stood hunched over with one hand on his knee to keep him up. His hair was a mess, and his heart felt as though it was about to burst from his chest. Blood trickled down his ear along with the streams of sweat from his brow. He stared at his foe who kept himself unphased, even as the entire cavern began to shake and collapse. After gritting his teeth, Areticus managed a grin with a calming sigh, “I’ll take pride in knowing it took the Voice himself to defeat me.”

“That’s one way to rationalize your defeat,” Marick replied.

Areticus then raised himself upright, having finished drawing what reserves of the Force he could and focused them on enhancing his speed and awareness. This is it, he thought, the Infinite Empire be damned, this is about survival.

The two men rushed to each other with seemingly blurred speed. Areticus kept his attention on the blade and keep his cognitive focus in the moment. He hadn’t much time before the pain stimulations would overwhelm him; everything depended on the next few seconds here and now. The ship was too his left. He’d never have the time. Behind Marick was the hallway they had come through, due to collapse within the moment.

When he was within reach, Areticus fell into a slide at the Voice’s side and could hear the sliding sound of his hidden blade strike the ice floor. Marick stopped his momentum and turned to pursue, but intentionally stopped short when he saw the incoming collapse of the hallway. Areticus dove inside just as ice began collapsing behind him, and continued his race to find a place to avoid being crushed.

Marick wasn’t fond of leaving his opponent without insurance of a corpse. He calculated the risk of circumstances, and decided to board Areticus’ shuttle to leave. Should Areticus survive, undoubtedly he would be put on the Inquisition’s radar once again.

2 Days Later

Consciousness was reclaimed from the sight of a compact white room, and the sound of a heart monitor in his left ear.

“He’s awake,” a familiar voice shouted out.

Areticus coughed and groaned before looking over to Iios, “Fatal?”

Lo-Kain and a medical droid entered in the room almost immediately after. “Nothing life threatening, no,” Iios insured. “What happened down there? One of the surveying contractors said you had an encounter with an assassin? We came as soon as we could.”

“Best it be if we lay low for a while…” Areticus said before he lost consciousness once again.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 20 January, 2018 11:53 AM UTC

Okay. Some issues with this post, Areticus was stabbed in the side in the previous post, you’ve made no effort to stop the bleeding nor are you reacting to having a hole in your side outside of the poison. Also, your character seems to just ‘know’ they’d been poisoned, no effects of poison or reaction to it, and no mention in the previous post.

Mental fatigue is also a thing in our system, drawing on multiple ‘active’ Force powers in a short period of time will wear you out and deplete your reserves. Be mindful of this, as over usage with no discernable drawbacks or effects will hurt your story score.

Positive Takeaways


Can’t fault you for lack of action. You took Marick’s ending of the last post and ran with it.

Can Be Improved


Areticus focused to speed his mind and perceptually slow the passage of time. Surprise element. Instigate visual concealment. The Knight then flipped the table between them in the air with what strength he could at the Voice. Expeditious retreat with Force enhanced dexterity. Distractions if possible. He sent an illusion running the opposite way as he dashed in a dead sprint to a narrow hallway he knew led to his shuttle.

So. In an effort to track everything happening here, I gave this its own bit. Areticus, with a stab wound in his side and having just taken an antidote for one of the poisons (unclear as to which as Marick didn’t state in his post), uses multiple powers at the same time here. The amplification and illusion are both clearly stated, and there’s the issue here of using Amplification at +1 while using (at least) one other power. At that level, it just isn’t going to happen. Lastly, or first as its the part that comes up at the start of this paragraph, it appears as if you used Control Self on your own brain to speed up the thought processes and slow down time, which frankly, is a neat trick, but coupled with the level (+1 again) and the other two active use powers, you got hit pretty hard for realism. Again though, very neat idea there, might steal it in the future.

Watery chunks of brown and yellow vomit spilled onto the floor of the ice cave. His nose stung with the stench of his own bile, throat burning from the exertion of emptying the rest of the contents of his stomach. Squeezing his eyes tightly to blink away dampness, he desperately reached out with his senses, drawing on the permeating wisps of energy that connected all things through the Living Force. The Arcanist could feel the energy of the water that ran through the frozen stalagmites and crystalline springs hidden deep within the cave. They answered his call, eager to share in their reserves to fuel his own. At the same time, Areticus willed the Force to push away the nausea that he assumed was a result of some kind of poison on the Voice of the Brotherhood’s weapon.

Guess he’s not called the *Gray Fang for no reason.”

With the nausea fading, Areticus realized that the wound itself was not as bad as he’d feared. The cut was shallow and clean. His nose, meanwhile, had swollen slightly and felt more awkward than painful after the initial shock had worn off. He found it hard to breath, but he was able to focus on his current predicament well enough.

“You wouldn’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like to experience an entire culture wiped away and discarded as a thing of mere legend!”

Marick’s stoic expression broke, if only for a moment. “Is that so?” The Hapan might have smiled, but Areticus was too impassioned to notice.

The Knight nodded gravely and held his hands out wide. “With my research here, I will be able to prove without a shadow of a doubt that the Rakata Empire was no mere legend, but a living piece of history!”

“Alright,” Marick replied, his face reverting back to its neutral impassivity.

“...Alright? What do you mean 'alright?'”

“I mean, fair enough,” the Voice explained. “I was simply following up on a lead. I have no issues with—”

The floor began to rumble. From deep within the cave, klaxons began to blare.

“Oh no. No, no, no!” Areticus sneered as he looked around incredulously. “Not now, not when I’m so close to finding proof!”

Marick did not seem to be listening. His focus had shifted to the ceiling and to the tremors in the walls.

Areticus felt sick again. He hunched over with one hand on his knee to keep him up. His hair was a mess, and his heart pounded rapidly through his chest. Blood trickled down his ear along with the streams of sweat from his brow. Or perhaps that was the blood from his nose from earlier? Was the poison more potent than he had originally surmised?

He stared at his foe who kept himself unphased, even as the entire cavern began to shake and collapse. Gritting his teeth, Areticus managed a grin with a calming sigh. “I’ll take pride in knowing it took the Voice himself to defeat me.”

“That’s one way to rationalize your defeat,” came Marick’s reply. He seemed to have more to say, but Areticus tuned it out.

The Knight stood up tall as his stature allowed him to. Having finished drawing what reserves of the Force he could, he focused solely on enhancing his speed and awareness. This was it, Areticus thought. The Infinite Empire be damned, this is about survival.

And then a stalagmite form above broke off from the ceiling and collided meatily between his neck and shoulder. Areticus Altainatus crumpled bonelessly to the cavern floor as more debris started to fall from overhead.


Standing close to the exit to the cave, Marick Tyris had a decision to make. It would be easy enough to leave the Knight to his fate. Hoth was an unforgiving force of nature, and the collapsed ice cave would quite literally bury any evidence that could point to Marick’s involvement in the Plagueian’s death. The young Knight had promise, and the Voice respected his dedication to his research—even if the obsession did leave him a bit perplexed. In time, perhaps Areticus would grow into a useful asset for the Inquisitorius. Or perhaps Marick was doing Altainatus a favor by simply walking away.

Marick made up his mind moments before his body began to move. The Master grabbed Areticus by one of his boots. Whipcord muscles tensed as the Hapan dragged the limp Knight unceremoniously towards the exit. It was not very heroic or daring, but it was quicker and more efficient than trying to lift an adult male’s body up to then try and carry it to safety.

Just as the two men were both about to be in the clear, another chunk of jagged rock broke off from the ceiling and hurtled towards the pair. Keeping a hold of Areticus’ boot with one hand, Marick made a shoving gesture with the other at the falling rock. The rock halted its progress and then was thrown away and into another cluster of descending debris.

The Master returned both hands to the task of dragging the Knight the rest of the way to safety. Just as they crossed through the threshold of the cave, Marick looked up to see the exit fold in on itself, rocks and snow and sediment sealing its secrets shut. The Hapan studied the cave, bright blue eyes contrasted against the pale glow of the white-washed tundra. The wind blew strands of his long hair across his face. He leaned down to check Areticus’ pulse and was pleased to see he was still breathing, albeit faintly. He would live.

With one last cursory glance at the collapsed cave, the Voice of the Brotherhood tapped a sequence of keys on his Inquisitor Comlink and requested an evac for two.

General Stres'tron'garmis, 20 January, 2018 12:08 PM UTC

“You wouldn’t understand. You don’t know what it’s like to experience an entire culture wiped away and discarded as a thing of mere legend!” Marick’s stoic expression broke, if only for a moment. “Is that so?” The Hapan might have smiled, but Areticus was too impassioned to notice. SO META IT HURTS, fits with the theme of the fight, though.

Positive Takeaways


Solid conclusion, plenty of sass, enjoyable to read.

Can Be Improved


Woulda been nice to see Areticus at least make a token effort to attack Marick or Marick making a point to bend the kid over his knee, as this post lacked any combat.