“DEX,” Tisto called out as he rushed the Magnaguard. “Kill the cowardly organic!”
The E-XD droid cackled mechanically as it bombarded the Kaleesh, distracting him while its pack leader moved to tear apart the enemy droid. The Kaleesh slowed his advance slightly to better counter each blast, but refused to stop. Crimson clashed against copper as it fired, keeping the area dimly lit. Several of its bolts came hurtling back at it, hitting home as the infiltrator droid continued its assault. DEX continued its fire, trying to buy its pack leader time.
“You will fall to me or my leader prey!” it hissed at the organic foe.
“Worthless bucket of bolts,” Tra’an muttered under his breath as he advanced.
Meanwhile, Tisto gathered the Force into his hand again. He felt it coil in his palm as he rushed over to the Magnaguard. He saw it began to stand up, and launched himself forward. The Kiffar brought his palm down on the Magnaguards chest piece, violently releasing the Force. The droid had been built to handle standard damage well, however, due to it trying to stand up, the telekinetic wave smashed against it at unconventional angles. The sound of tearing metal echoed off of a nearby wall as an arm and a leg ripped free from opposite sides of the droid.
The Kiffar looked towards the Plaguian, watching the man as he easily battled blaster shots back at DEX. His loyal droid firing back despite notable damage. The Plaguian had continued his advance while Tisto was distracted. A second later the Kaleesh severed Dex’s head from the rest of the droid.
Seeing his droid fall, Tisto took hold of the Force again, his fist tightening and raising slightly, lifting the broken Magnaguard from the ground. Without thinking he let out a primal scream and threw his hand forward, willing the broken droid towards its owner. It flew unceremoniously at the Dark Jedi, who, for his credit, merely lifted a hand. The broken droid flew into an unseen force and landed on the ground. The boxer watch as Tra’an sighed at the loss of his droid.
“I’ll take your life for that loss of credits Jedi,” the Dark Jedi stated, lunging towards Tisto lightsaber first.
Tisto caught the saber in his left hand before it could hit home. Tra’an couldn’t keep the surprise off his face. He felt the incoming attack, but knew he was too close to dodge. Tisto’s gloved right fist slammed into the Kaleesh’s throat. The Dark Jedi felt a strong surge of electricity follow the blow. It arced around the blow, running the short distance from the blow to tickle his spine. He froze as the Kiffar followed it up with a knee to the groin.
Tra’an released his lightsaber, the blade shutting down and collapsing just as he did. He did his best to throw the pain aside. “Wh..what the.. F..frak happened to your damned Jedi Code and its peace,” he sputtered.
“Oh, pardon me. Here is a Jedi kiss for you runt,” Tisto snapped as he slammed his boot into the Kaleesh’s ribs.
Tra’an took the hit, moving one hand to his ribs, the other to the hilt of his second lightsaber. He let his anger fuel him, feeling the Force fill his body in response to his anger. The dark blue blade ignited as he spun around with rage enhanced speed. Tisto called down on the Force to protect himself the second the area light up, but it wasn’t enough. The saber cut through the barrier with Force enhanced strength. The tip of the blade traced a line from the Kiffar’s right hip to his left shoulder. His nerves cried out in pain that he silenced with the Force, but he knew his face must be pale.
“I’m going to enjoy your death now Kiffar!”
Positive Takeaways
This is an interesting extract because you use the droids to engage in combat with the character that doesn't own them. Droids are part of the loadout, so there are no worries there, and I found it to be a breath of fresh air, instead of one person fighting a droid while the other person stands there like an idiot. I also liked how you had Tra'an misidentify Tisto's droid, so it came as a surprise to him when its true nature was revealed. I would like to see more of this in your writing in the future, it's a nice subversion of common tactics and helps the match stand out. One way you could attempt to do this more often is even if you're facing someone who doesn't own a droid, use it but have Tra'an perhaps still presenting himself as a threat, or give the reader an insight into him planning his next move.
Can Be Improved
Commas are pretty easy to slip up on, many people do them too often or too little. In your post, there are a few examples of commas where they were not needed. What makes commas so easy to get wrong is the abundance of rules, each with exemptions that one has to keep in mind. What I'd suggest is reading the post out loud, and I would also recommend getting as many extra pairs of eyes on it as you can.