Two towering, tinted, transparisteel doors slide open to grant you access to the central chamber of the Combat Training Halls. The main room is wide and open and as large as as a holoball field. Tall walls stretch towards a domed ceiling that is made up of rows of ambient lights that spread out and fill the room with soft even lighting that eliminates any shades or shadows. Those same walls are lined around the perimeter with racks and stacks of varied weaponry: everything from swords and polearms to rifles and flamethrowers.
There are two signs that hover over each weapon rack to create an alternating motif in the Combat Training Hall: “No Explosions” and “Accorded Neutral Territory”. While the first is fairly obvious, the second speaks to the single law of the Training Halls: all members of the Brotherhood are welcome, and no member is to be killed or maimed without incurring the wrath of the Grand Master and the Inquisitorius.
A trio of training dummies are statically set up and spread out in a line, each made out of a blend of alloys and padding that can withstand blows from any standard weaponry with the exception of lightsaber blades. To the side of the dummies, a large sparring mat has been stretched out to create a larger footprint than the typical shockboxing ring. The padding is good for helping teach new combat students how to take a fall without injury and offers firm footing, but the hard rubber mat is hardly forgiving.
Behind the sparring area is a door that leads to a small archives that combat students can use to view holorecordings of fights and duels from the past as well as relevant information on combat tactics, techniques, and forms. On the opposite side of the archives at the far end of central room is the locker room that members can safely store their equipment.
The final and probably most important element of the Combat Training Hall is the onsite Med Ward. The maglock door is sealed off and can only be opened by an attending Medic. The Medical facilities feature state of the art bacta tanks for recovery and aftercare. A combination of observation and waiting room rests adjacent to the recovery center and features two large monitors that display a live feed of the central room.
The Combat Halls are staffed around the clock, allowing combat students and mentors alike to come and go as they please at odd or regular hours. It also reserved for members looking to prove their worth to compete in the Antei Combat Center.
[Venue Note: Weapons incorporated into your match are allowed to be used, even if not listed on your Weapon Load Out for the match itself. Skill usage and all other ACC rules and guidelines still applies.]
Positive Takeaways
Your use of the venue was remarkable, and you made the training center feel like somewhere people were training. If you could do this mixed in with combat, I believe it would do you a world of good. Building an environment the reader can visualise is something writers should aspire to. To potentially work towards weaving it into combat, think of where the characters are in the venue as they're fighting and slip in some description to add to the combat.
Can Be Improved
Commas are notoriously easy to trip up on when writing. There are so many rules, and each has its exceptions, it's easy to forget when to use a comma or not. I find they're often used too much or not enough in writing. A possible way to help yourself improve is to read out what you've written, think about when you pause for breath and when you do so for effect. Another possible method of developing this, as the event was made to show, is proofing. Additional pairs of eyes on your work can only help your work.
You also had Calenhad seemingly finishing up his shift at the start of the post and then skip to his next shift. Skipping time is fine and dandy, as long as you note the time passing with an "X hours later or The Next Day" or an "It was the following day and..." If you're going to write a transition, look for words that make it easier to understand the jump in time or evaluate if you need to jump ahead in time.
The pacing of the story is something that can make or break an opening post in a match. This post is charged with not just setting up the situation that leads to combat but also including that combat itself. It's a balancing act. A good rule of thumb is to have actual conflict, especially in a 2+2 format, take up at least 50% of the opening post. Of your 745 words, it's only the last paragraph that has this conflict. A lot of the time devoted to set-up could have been given to creating interesting action with the narrative being interwoven instead.