The Seer dodged to his left, coming to a sliding halt as the mass of rusted metal crashed to the street. A dark cloud of dust and debris engulfed the scene hindering Darkblade’s sight. He knew the path was blocked, coming to that realization infuriated the Morax. A part of him was thoroughly impressed with his friend and colleague. That feeling, however, quickly succumbed to unadulterated hatred. The anger flowed through the former Quaestor of House Shar Dakhan. He needed to feed, not in the sense of the lay-person, Anzati fed on what is commonly referred to as “soup” the life force of another.
DarkHawk could feel the hatred seethe within his comrade. Takagari knew the Seer needed to feed. The Summit of Clan Naga Sadow instructed DarkHawk to bring him back in one piece. Darkblade had been on a feeding binge, leaving a trail of corpses throughout the city. This characteristic was not conducive of the Seer, his “feedings” were always more discrete. The Equite also knew that Anzati become much powerful when they feed on those who are Force-sensitive.
DarkHawk contemplated keeping his distance from the Seer. Avoid giving any chance to Morax Darkblade of locking in his skill of mind control, extinguishing the will to fight from the Sith. Forcing the Seer to a hand to hand exchange would be his only option. That option, however, could be fatal.
The black-clad wraith reached out to the Force, allowing the essence of its power to flow freely through him. Launching himself into a full sprint, DarkHawk raced toward the Seer. Darkblade had already begun to spin around to face his aggressor. The veil of dust still suspended over the streets, this, in turn, was an opportunity the Sith intended to exploit. Midway through the Seer’s revolution, his keen peripheral vision caught the absence of his fellow Equite from his previous position. Darkblade’s instinct immediately alerted him to the fact, Takagari was closing the gap. That keen aptitude, painfully solidified Morax as the hulking Sith’s tackle was surprisingly unexpected. DarkHawk drove his left shoulder into the center mass of the Seer’s chest. The Aedile's impact sent Darkblade hurdling backward into the fallen assemblage of steel.
DarkHawk held a prudent measure of restraint as he drove his body through the attack. The intent is to incapacitate, not maim. The pain from the impact, however, resonated through the shoulder. The Equite winced as he grabbed and rotated the shoulder. Darkblade moaned, shaking his head to regain his composure. The Seer struggled to get to his feet, he was on all fours attempting to put his feet under himself. DarkHawk hooked his arm under his fellow Sadowan’s arm aiding him to his feet. The ploy was successful. The Anzat unleased his prowess of mind manipulation upon the unsuspecting Shaevalian. Morax Darkblade had a lifetime of honing this skill, bewitching his victims before he fed. The recent days of binge feeding had left him in a state of inebriation. His control over the action luckily was not as precise as a result of the binging.
Takagari felt himself succumbing to the Seer’s hypnotic aptitude. The Sith could feel his body rapidly falling limp, his will to fight diminishing. He watched the two proboscises emerge from Morax’s cheek pockets. They moved like serpents adding to the hypnotic trance the Seer maintained over him. DarkHawk could feel one of the tendrils pulling at his balaclava to gain access to the nasal passage and finally embedding into the cranium. Takagari KogaRyu struggled to regain some coherent ability to break free, it would only be a matter of seconds before the feeding frenzy. Morax’s eyes were glazed over with an insatiable need to feed, bringing him closer to nirvana.
The Shaevalian delved deep into his psyche, struggling to grasp a hold of the remaining remnants of his reality. The Battlemaster called on the Force, drinking deeply of the dark side, lightning leaped from his fingertips to the face of Darkblade, eliciting a growl of pain and frustration. DarkHawk grabbed each tendril with his hands and reared his head back and drove his forehead into the face of the Seer.
Cartlidge cracked like twigs as Darkblade’s nose exploded. Blood poured from his nostrils, his eyes submerged in water from the blow. Takagari grasped the Seer’s right arm with his left hand, twisting it, pulling him off balance. Simultaneously grabbing Morax by the neck with his free arm, the Sith coiled his right leg around the right leg of the Seer. This time, Takagari did not hold back, as he swept the leg. The Aedile hoisted Darkblade into the air and slammed him to the ground. The impact was hard, DarkHawk felt the back of his comrade’s skull bounce off the pavement. His body expelled all the air remaining in his lungs. Rolling away and kipping up to his feet, Takagari assessed the fallen Morax DarkBlade. This time he cautiously leaned in to check his breathing. The Anzat was out cold, a deep sigh of relief exited the Equite. Grabbing his friend and scooping him up cradling the limp body over his shoulder’s, making a hasty exit, “Come on old friend its time to go home…”
Positive Takeaways
Excellent use of your opponent's aspects in the story.
This post did everything an opening post is supposed to do, which is often a hard balance to strike. You managed to set the scene, establish the in-character conflict and get a healthy amount of action, all in a shorter (relatively speaking) post. You gave the reader what they needed and kept the focus on the conflict and the action, great work.
Can Be Improved
This sentence just creates some conflicting and awkward imagery. Lightsabers in Star Wars make noise and throw sparks when they make even glancing contact with a solid surface. This directly contradicts the 'silently' description you used earlier in that same sentence. In the future be cognizant of the picture you are trying to paint in the mind of the reader and make sure all your descriptions work toward the effect you want to create.