KP Sight Nortorshin vs. DJK Adam Bolera

Krath Priest Sight Nortorshin

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Krath, Shadow
vs.

Dark Jedi Knight Adam Bolera

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Obelisk, Marauder
Comment

Weird result here. In general, I think Adam was the better writer here, and I wanted to be able to give him the win for that and a creative finish. Sadly, it just wasn't realistic.

Hall Event: Figureheads [Clan Arcona]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition Event: Figureheads - ACC
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants KP Sight Nortorshin, DJK Adam Bolera
Winner KP Sight Nortorshin
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
KP Sight Nortorshin's Character Snapshot Snapshot
DJK Adam Bolera's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Selen: Arcona Citadel - Cantina
Last Post 16 August, 2014 3:11 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Mako Henymory Adem Bol'era
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: This isn't so much an actual problem, but a reflection that Adam's writing was generally more evocative than yours. The syntax and grammar were generally fine, but your sentence structure gets repetitive when you're describing parts of the fight. Rationale: I found no issues with syntax or grammar. In general, I like your wordplay. Keep it up.
Story - 40%
Mako Henymory Adem Bol'era
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: This comment goes for both writers. You're on opposite sides of the conflict, and so you fight. That's an ok motivation for battle but not a terribly compelling one. Rationale: "Shii-Cho? Huh. It really is as simple as it looks, remember that." I got really excited to find out what you were going to do with the bit of foreshadowing you seemed to place here, but it never happened.
Realism - 25%
Mako Henymory Adem Bol'era
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Within the fight, you tend to be just a little bit too casual with how easily Force Healing works. The trick with Shocking the vibroblades was neat. I didn't know that was possible until I checked wookiepedia. Rationale: By far, my biggest issue with the entire battle was your use of Illusion in your final post. With only +1 in the ability, the scope of what your character pulled off is just way too large. Using it to fake throwing out some of the ball bearings would have been fine, but to make it work, Sight interacted with these fictitious ball bearings through his own use of the Force and drove them back into the fake you. I think it was a cool idea, but it just doesn't fit with what your character would reasonably be able to do, based of the CS. Also, I'm curious about the remark "almost felt remorse for inflicting on Adam..." Nothing in Sight's post indicated that he'd feel that way, and his CS certainly doesn't either (two of his aspects suggest the opposite).
Continuity - 20%
Mako Henymory Adem Bol'era
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No continuity errors. Rationale: No continuity errors
Mako Henymory's Score: 3.8 Adem Bol'era's Score: 3.7
Posts

citadel
The Citadel Cantina is located on the second level of the Arcona Citadel. The bar itself is small on the surface, but possess an expansive selection thanks to a clever servos-operated storage system built into the underside of the bar. A bartender only need punch in what drink they require (other than the typical stock) and within a minute the bottle is distributed transparisteel display panels. Relaxed, soothing music plays over the speakers, and a big-screen display terminal with access to the holonet sits across from a series of comfortable lounge chairs and stools.

cantina
The Cantina is full-service and is manned by a gruff, one-eyed Rodian named Mick. Mick is a grumpy, former sergeant who served in the Arcona Armed Forces years and years ago. He goes about his business with a series of grunts, gestures, and monosyllabic dialogue. Though a man of few words, he's a genius of alcoholic beverages and mixology. Mick has a very strict rule about no fighting or brawling within the Cantina. The mess hall, on the other hand, is a different story.

messhall

The Cantina opens up into a dedicated mess-hall that can hold up to a hundred sentients before it starts to feel claustrophobic. Open at all hours, the mess-hall has been sanctioned as an acceptable area for members to settle aggressions and other frustrations. The tables are all firmly bolted into the halls floor to avoid being thrown over, and are crafted out of durable material that has held it’s own throughout the years. At the far end of the mess-hall there is a pair of double-doors that lead to the kitchen and storage area. The mess-hall is maintained by a full staff of droids, and occasionally a new recruit who has earned the ire of the Rollmaster.

The albino walked slowly through the deserted hallways of the Arcona Citadel. Since the infighting had begun, the Citadel had become a ghost town plagued by random battles between the two opposing forces. Sight lacked the strong convictions some of the combatants had concerning the Clan’s internal struggles. His choice had always been simple, he followed Captain Arcia and the AGV Nighthawk. However, the Priest was thankful that he had been given the green light to to apply a permanent solution to any of those he found that held allegiance to the Quaestors.

The albino adjusted his cloak as he strode into the Cantina, his crimson eyes immediately scanning the room for others. A smile crossed his pale lips as he found only two individuals at the bar. The Rodian, Mick, frowned disapprovingly in Sights direction, the old soldier was no fool and was well aware of the allegiance of both his customers. The Krath was not worried about the old man behind the bar, it was the younger Human that concerned him. As a DIA member, Sight, was well aware of who was on the other side of the Cantina.

“Good evening Adam,” the albino called out to the Battle Team Leader of Apex Brigade. The Priest’s right hand coming to rest on the lightsaber under his cloak.

“The same to you Chief Nortorshin,” the Obelisk called back, as his hand retreated behind his back. A loud grunt came from behind Bolera, causing both men look towards Mick. Shaking his head Mick merely pointed towards the adjoined mess hall, both men were well aware of his only rule. The Arconans nodded to each other before slowly moving into the mess hall, being careful not to look away from the other or show their back.

“I see you left your Fade at home,” Adam began the dialogue as the two entered the mess hall, the gap growing between them.

“Probably for the same reason you left your companion droid behind. No sense in getting those close to us killed during the infighting,” Sight replied as he moved towards the kitchen. The Priest felt the adrenaline course through his body as the moment for the first strike neared. To say he enjoyed the rush would be an understatement. The albino licked his lips as Adam’s closed hand moved out from behind his back, opening with a flick of his wrist towards the Krath. The movement was fluid, obviously practiced, and quick enough to leave little room for reaction.

Just as quickly Sight raised an arm, the Force distorting the air as a blast of telekinetic energy shot forward, meeting the durasteel ball bearings as they moved through the air like projectiles. The ball bearings quivered in midair for a moment as their forward movement suddenly ceased, then shot outwards in random directions as Sight’s attack broke through. Adam rolled to the left, the wall groaning as it dented inwards slightly.

“It’s a pity that I was the one to find you, Adam,” Sight spoke as a spark of Force guided electricity arched towards his opponent. “Your presence, the lighter influences, it reminds me of the days I spent as a Sentinel in the service of Odan-Urr.” A cry of pain escaped the Obelisk as the electricity coursed through his body. The distance between the two saved the Corellian from taking any lasting damage. The Krath’s yellow blade leapt to life as he dashed towards the Dark Jedi Knight.

Adam ignited his own emerald blade as the Krath jumped over the last table between the two. Deflecting the albino’s opening strike, the Obelisk replied with a strike that was quickly blocked. The two began to feel each other out as their blades met over and over again. Sight broke away first from the delicate dance of death, taking three short hops backwards. He felt invigorated and alive from the fight, a wicked smile on his scarred face. His whole being cried out to take Adam’s life; he lusted after the kill.

Adam met Sight’s sadistically gleeful grin with a similar expression in the form of a pained grimace. This fight was not going well, despite having only just begun, and Adam dreaded the prospect of being forced to kill a former ally. As he paced backwards into a row of tables, his muscles still faintly ached from heavy electrocution. Ignoring the sensation, he rocked forward onto his toes. His body was on edge and wired for rapid movement, while his mind hurried to analyze Sight’s swordplay and how to answer it with Ataru’s acrobatic assaults. The menacing hum of Sight’s blade accompanied his deliberate approach, red eyes boring into the Knight as they dared him to make the first move. Adam obliged and rushed a table, kicking off the edge and bringing his emerald saber down with one hand. Sight raised a second hand to his hilt, blocking the strike and then swatting the Obelisk away like an annoying insect. Adam cartwheeled into another overhead strike while Sight seamlessly transitioned into a high block and then shunting Adam back. The Krath maintained his confident smirk as his opponent rained down more blows from odd angles, then answered each with wide and sweeping two handed strokes that Adam to backpedal and rethink his assault.

Bastard’s blocking everything I throw at him. Not Soresu, though...

As he moved backward, Adam looked closer at Sight’s stance and ran over the last few moments in his mind. There was nothing fanciful to his opponent’s attacks, just wide and mostly horizontal strikes, paired with heavy blocks. Adam’s mind telegraphed the next attack when Sight bore down on him again with a heavy swing from the shoulders, giving him time to think and dodge.

Shii-Cho? Huh. It really is as simple as it looks, remember that.

Sight’s blade glowed with the fury of a young star as it came fast in wide arcs. Adam leapt over them again and resumed his acrobatic offense, but couldn’t swing a leg, arm or saber around fast enough to avoid the blocks and counter strikes. He landed and his body sunk low to the ground, and tried to sweep his blade upward at an odd diagonal angle in hopes of catching Sight off guard, but the Force warned The Krath of the surprise. Sight maintained his smirk, even after the two struck at the same time and their blades collided, locking near the hilts and sending a rainbow of sparks flying between them.

“Valtiere and Cethgus are nothing more than rabid, stray dogs, and the Arconae know exactly how to put the likes of them down. Why die like them?” Sight hissed, while Adam grunted with the effort to break the lock, but still managed a light chuckle.

“Funny that you say that, you know what I see when I look at the Arconae’s men?” the Obelisk asked as he flooded his limbs with the Force, shoving Sight’s blade aside with renewed vigor and smashing a foot into the side of his head. Adam took to the air and spun over the Priest like a leaf twisting in the wind before landing and jabbing the pommel of his lightsaber into Sight’s spine. The Krath staggered forward, but quickly turned to face the smiling Knight.

“Now I’m curious; what do you see?” Sight growled as he ebbed the pain away.

“A bunch of lapdogs looking for a pat on the head from the Council. You don’t deserve to have allies like ours; they fight for the men beside them, not hollow rewards.” At that, Sight’s crimson eyes burst into flames, his porcelain fingers stretching out and convulsing as power flowed through them. Adam felt what seemed to be the entirety of the galaxy disappear as the Force rushed out of his body, leaving him feeling blind, deaf, and paralyzed. The only remaining willpower in his mind was to keep his saber hilt firmly in his fingers. A fury driven pommel smashed into Adam’s cheek followed by an invisible freight-train to the stomach. Adam sailed through the air and over several tables before crashing to the ground.

“You know nothing about me or what I fight for! The Nighthawk is what matters!” Sight roared, while the pain wracked Adam’s body several rows away. Nothing was broken, but bruises were hardly an enjoyable thing to feel without the Force to soften and heal the blows. The rush of survival instinct brought his mind back to reality, suggesting that he drag himself under the tables. He managed to slip under one and sit up as he grit his teeth, hearing something click among Sight’s steps. A second later Adam heard a clattering beneath a table to his distant front and right. He strained his vision to see several blinking red lights.

Oh… that’s a bit excessive...

The thermal detonator burst underneath the table and the shockwave rushed outward as Adam ignored his pain and skittered underneath row after row, instinct and adrenaline trying to do what the Force couldn’t at the moment and drive him forward. He felt the heat of the air rush by his face, but never stopped moving. More clatters on the floor were heard as Sight tossed a second and third grenade, while Adam finally caught a view of the Krath’s feet.

“Hide if you want, but you’ll be either flushed out or burned alive if you keep scurrying around like a rat. Even the Quaestors’ lackeys deserve a better death than that.” Sight warned as Adam drew closer, now underneath the table adjacent to the unaware albino Krath. He held his breath as he carefully and silently unraveled the Durasteel chain wrapped around his left wrist, while Sight paced the aisle. The hum of his lightsaber would betray his approach otherwise and he would be forced to kill his opponent as opposed to simply subduing him. Finally, he passed right by Adam, exposing his back to the Knight. Adam slithered out from beneath the table, and flicked the chain out into the air, snapping it rigid with the force of his swing. It cracked across Sight’s back, sending him staggering forward in pain. Adam lashed again, hoping to beat the Krath into submission. Sight was forced to his knees, and Adam darted forth to wrap the chain around his opponent’s neck and choke him into unconsciousness. Feeling the links tighten around his throat, Sight snarled and gasped as he clawed at the chain, while Adam tried to refrain from using too much force. The Knight counted the seconds and hoped it would be over soon, but failed to notice one of Sight’s hands leave his neck and grab a vibroknife. Stinging pains shot through Adam’s leg and lower abdomen as Sight blindly jabbed with the point, forcing Adam to release the Krath. Sight turned and raised his blade once more, the other hand clutching his throat as he caught his breath.

“You’ll pay for that, little snake. All of you will,” he growled. Adam met Sight’s ruby gaze once more as the shallow knife wounds quickly sealed, and he smiled as the Force threaded its way back through his muscle fibers again.

“Let’s see you try.”

Catching his breath, the albino carefully observed the Obelisk. He needed to end this quickly as the battle was taking a greater toll on the Krath. Anger flowed from within as Sight took stock of the beating he had just received. As he pushed his body’s aches and pains out of his mind Adam lept forward, emerald blade flaring to life.

FOOL,” the Krath yelled as his opponent became completely airborne. A pale hand rose quickly, the air around it already distorting. The emerald beam of death incoming in a diagonal sweep, death was but a meter from the Krath. The sound of cracking ribs echoed in the room as telekinetic energy slammed into Adam at point blank range. The Obelisk yelped in pain as he suddenly found himself flying backwards.

Sight watched as the younger Human skidded to a stop on the other side of the room, his lifeless lightsaber coming to a rest against the wall behind him. The albino focused on healing his own injuries as he methodically walked toward his opponent . The Obelisk slowly returned to his feet clutching his damaged ribs.

“You will have to do better than that,” Adam groaned at the Krath as the Force began to slowly knit his ribs back together.

“Your mouth, shut it,” Sight replied anger filling his voice. The Krath’s yellow blade flickering out as it returned to his hip. The Arconae supporter stopped twenty five meters from the battle team leader. The albino channeled his anger letting it flow through him, amplifying his connection with the Force. Arms spread wide slowly rising from his hips.

Fear peaked in Adam’s mind, warning him of danger. Multiple pieces of debris created from the earlier explosions, rose from the ground around Sight. The debris became projectiles as they suddenly accelerated forward. Bolera rolled out of the way at the last second, the floor tearing apart behind him.

Sight’s body seemed to move on it’s own accord as three ball bearings shoot through where his chest had just been. Not moving quite fast enough, pain screamed in the Krath’s mind as his left shoulder was barely grazed. Rushing forward the albino drew his vibrosword and vibroknife, the fresh wound healing over on its own. Intending to torture the Obelisk before he finished him off, the albino swung downward as he grew near to his victim. Adam brought his chain up blocking the opening strike from the vibrosword.

“Meet your end, whelp,” the older Human spoke, his tone matching the bloodlust all too clear upon his face. Adam held his chain taut as he blocked the frenzy of strikes the Krath rained down upon him. Seizing an opening the Obelisk flicked his chain forward, wrapping it around Sight’s neck. As the chain pulled tight the albino wrapped his vibroknife arm around it, taking the pressure off his neck. The breath was knocked out of the Obelisk by a strong kick to his chest.

The Krath pulled back his leg and delivered a second kick to just above Adam’s knee. The Obelisk fell upon both knees, the Vibrosword plunged up to the hilt through his chest. With a clatter the chain fell to the floor as both combatants released it. Bolera’s hands clutched at the hilt as Sight activated motor in the handle. The albino twisted the blade as he completely buried the vibroknife in his victims left shoulder. The Krath’s face twisted in almost orgasmic pleasure as his bloodlust began to become sated.

Leaping backwards the albino took in his murderous handy work with a demented satisfaction. Adam coughed up blood as he realized it was over, a mixture of sadness and anger filled the battle team leader. Sight watched as the younger Human looked up at him, his green eyes screaming but one question, why. Exhilaration filled the Krath as a slow laugh bubbled forth. Raising one arm the albino sent a spark of Force guided electricity into each of the vibroblade hilts. The weapons quickly became unstable as the electricity fried their circuits causing them to explode.

Blood poured from a gaping hole in Adam’s chest where the vibrosword had been but moments before. His left shoulder and arm no longer existed having become a pink mist that was settling on the ground. The left side of the Obelisk’s neck was burned and checkered with tiny bits of metal that had once made up the vibroblade. What remained of his chest twitched violently as his shredded lungs attempted to draw breath. Falling forward into a growing pool of his own blood the battle team leader lost consciousness as he passed from the living world.

Sight watched with crimson eyes until the life fully left the Obelisk. The albino turned away from the grisly sight and returned to the Cantina. He was exhausted and his body ached, some time off his feet and a strong drink would do him wonders.

Adam wrapped the chain back around his wrist, snapped his lightsaber to life, and renewed his assault on Sight once more. The Knight leaped from tables and rolled across the floor to get angles for his strikes, his acrobatics aided by the Force. Sight’s swordplay was equally aggressive; the strong and smooth arcs of his swings would easily bisect most foes and his blocks covered almost every angle Adam tried to exploit. What the Krath couldn’t defend against, the Force let him deftly sidestep and return in kind with another powerful two handed swipe. Who was really on the offensive and defensive was unclear, given the hyper-aggressive nature of the styles of both swordsmen and their mutual intent to be the victor. Each dodge Adam made transitioned into a mid-air twirl and acrobatic strike, while Sight’s attacks were never far behind, often slashing right across where the Knight’s feet were split seconds earlier. The tables and floors accumulated dozens of scars from the burn of saber tips raking across them. The deadly dance moved them further down the aisle towards the kitchen doors of the mess hall.

Can’t keep this up much longer. He’ll take my head off the second I get sloppy.

The Arconans charged each other like rams fighting over a mountaintop. Again their sabers collided, the blades viciously screaming as they ground across the surface of one another. Adam felt his arms tremble as the lock grew more and more difficult to hold, his body growing too tired to fight against Sight’s strong two handed push. The Krath bore his teeth in a confident grin.

“I see right through you. You’re no self righteous Jedi; you’re just afraid of yourself!” Sight snarled as he kept up the pressure in the lock, the yellow blade growing heavier by the second on Adam’s shoulders. The Knight drew one hand away from his saber hilt and held his blade in place with all the remaining strength he could muster, and smiled back.

“I totally agree; power like ours would scare anyone.” Adam said, before raising his free hand and burying his face in the crook of his elbow. The Knight’s palm exploded in a burst of white light, flashing into Sight’s eyes and sending him reeling. The Krath kept his saber extended as he spun in a daze, swinging wildly in hopes of hitting something. He blinked repeatedly for several seconds until the whiteness he saw oozed back into a clear view of the mess hall, and realized that Adam had disappeared. He whipped around to look towards the kitchen; perhaps he had ducked in there?

“Hiding again? I’m starting to think you don’t respect me. Come out and finish this!” Sight called out. His request was granted sooner than he expected, as Adam suddenly sprang up into the air from the end of one of the rows of tables pointed at the kitchen doors. The Knight twirled, reaching towards his back and casting out several little spheres that gleamed in the light. Sight let the Force reach out of his arm and slam into the column of telekinetically propelled ball bearings, easily countering what little force was behind them and sent them back into the Knight. The impact of the Krath’s invisible fist sent Adam hurtling through the air, and he came down hard on the floor. His body rolled back through the kitchen doors. Sight grinned; they had arrived at the end at last. He heard pained cries and groans coming through the doors, and almost felt remorse for inflicting on Adam the shame of having his weapon used against him.

“Don’t worry, Bolera, I’ll make it quick. Rest assured, you’ve earned that much.” he called as he quickly walked through the kitchen doors and saw his opponent. Adam clutched at his chest, fingers awash in blood and wheezing out of pierced lungs. What a pitiful sight he was. Sight pointed his saber, ready to make a final thrust into the Knight’s chest. Suddenly, Adam’s emerald eyes met Sight’s crimson gaze with a glimmer, and his weapon snapped awake once more. In a single deft movement, he rose and slashed off the emitter of Sight’s lightsaber, then jabbed the point of his blade into the shocked Krath’s abdomen. Sight watched in horrified realization of his mistake as the blood soaked bearings inside his opponent’s wounds and the crimson stains on his clothes melted away into nothingness, the Knight’s chest returning to a pristine state as the illusion of the Force dissipated. Adam deactivated his blade and clipped it onto his hip as Sight crashed to the floor, still breathing.

“Surprise.” Adam said mournfully.

“How…” the Krath croaked.

“I threw every ball I had with me right at the start, actually. Bluffed the weapon and the wounds it made.”

“A dirty trick.”

“Didn’t give me a choice. I tried not to hit anything vital, hopefully you’ll make it. Just hear me out,” Adam said, a tone of sorrow now very apparent in his voice, “this scavenger hunt of a war is going to be the death of us. I’m fighting to make the Arconae see that, and maybe we can change course. I don’t want to wipe you out, just see things for what they are. I’m sorry.” Sight tried to conjure an answer, but he felt unconsciousness coming on as the shock of the wound set in, and chose sleep instead.

Adam stepped back into the cantina and took a seat as Mick watched. The one-eyed Rodian casually cleaned a glass.

“How’s the other guy look?” the old soldier queried.

“Bad. Call any med team you can, I didn’t want this to happen.” Adam winced as the lightly healed knife wounds opened again. The Rodian poked at a console, and turned his available eye back to his sole customer.

“Done. Want a drink? On the house, you look like it would do you some good.”

“Doesn’t matter, just need alcohol for my cuts. Any kind of tea you can brew?”

“Not really that kind of bar, but there might be something.” the bartender answered with annoyance as he began to rummage around. Adam smiled as he sat and waited, hoping he’d see light at the end of the dark tunnel Arcona was traveling through.