Satsi slammed them to floor.
"You. Mother. Frakker," she snarled, punctuating each word with a vicious punch to the face. Her knuckles busted open, skin breaking while bone showed white, cut against the strong plastic, but she didn't care.
The visor cracked under her assault, and its shards embedded in her fist, in her opponent's cheeks. She finally paused to just tear the helmet off and keep punching. The pale, bloody countenance that greeted her only made her madder, those green eyes of his alight with a fire she wanted to smother, purpling cuts and swelling bruises making them pop.
"You don't know anything about me and her," spat Satsi into his face, spraying bloody spittle. You don't know sithspit. You don't know what she thought of me, I know what she thought of me, she karking loved me, she loved me like I didn't deserve and she used me 'cause she knew I knew it because that was her! That's what she was, that's who she was, she LOVED US. And you think you know better? Frak you. You knew her for a second. I loved her for years, and I didn't even have a choice. But she did. She chose to love me, chose to trust me, chose to use me, and you, you slime, don't get to take that away from her."
Deshra just grunted as she beat at him, enduring, squinting past swelling. His jaw was locked tight even as she swung a fist into his eye with all her weight, producing a very loud crunch. One of those green eyes disappeared under a concave dip of bone and blood, but the other glared up at her.
He hissed at her, "Stop!"
The voice was authority. Above him, her hand stilled.
"Stop. I command it,” he ordered, power lacing his words.
In her mind, something old cracked, reset, took over.
OBEY MASTER.
Wait.
COMMAND.
Wait.
OBEY.
The body did not move. The body remained still. The voice was not correct. Words unfamiliar. Master did not call the body "our Doll." But the voice was authority. Master was authority. It was the Master.
MASTER.
Awaiting Master's will.
OBEY.
"You will stop."
But I don't want to.
MASTER ORDERED.
OBEY.
But.
MASTER.
"Stop. Get off of me. Walk to the edge of the platform."
ORDER GIVEN. ORDER STOP, MOVE. OBEY.
OBEY.
"Yes, my Lord."
The Doll stood up. The Doll walked away from the Master and stood at the precipice and stared into the water. Waited.
Wait.
But.
Wait. No.
The Doll— Satsi. Satsi jerked. Nearly fell. Her arms pinwheeled, stomach lodging in her throat. She couldn't tell the cold sweat from the rain soaking her but she was shaking hard, heart pounding.
When did I—
She scrambled away from the ledge, turned, and saw Aiden standing back, bleeding.
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"
"WHAT I MUST!" Aiden shouted back, stormwinds swallowing his words.
"FRAK YOU, YOU MIND-RAPING SLEEMO!" the woman screeched, voice ripping from her throat more of a sob. The tears streaming down her cheeks burned compared to the icy rain as she tore her pistol out of its holster, aimed, and fired.
A silvery lance of flame erupted from a curved hilt and smote the bullets from existence with smooth flicks of the wrist. The clip emptied with the other Human still crouching there, saber held diagonally across his body, guarding himself. His breathing was labored, his face ballooning. He collapsed to one knee but remained grim and determined.
Satsi screamed again in a haze and dropped her gun, snatching up another grenade.
There wasn't' any thought. She just triggered the thing and threw.
What happened then, she didn't know. The shockwave blew her straight into open air, and then there was impact. Hard, fast. Then weight, pressure, water. Swallowing her, shoving her down, down. It flooded her mouth and lungs. Her chest and eyes burned. Everything spun. Nowhere was up and the blackness was everywhere.
And then, something shifted. The waves, or her. But it wasn't just senseless churning anymore. There was direction, consistent. She was moving up.
Her body broke the surface and she gagged, vomiting salt water, barely cognizant of the fact that she was floating back onto the platform. Blearily she saw a figure, growing closer. But then she choked on her briney spew and blackness washed up again.
Satsi jerked with a gasp of agony.
"Careful, careful," warned an exhausted tone, someone helping her roll onto her side to spit and heave. Fingers touched her face. She was shivering so hard she nearly bit them off.
Aiden Dresha helped her sit up then moved back, slumping. He looked like utter hell, beat half to death and exhausted. But...he'd saved her dumbass from drowning herself.
"Why," she croaked.
"It's what Atyiru would have done."
Satsi stared at him flatly, disdain evident in her curled blue lip.
"And," the Gray Jedi relented at her discernment, "for the Balance. I felt it, when you fell. The Force trembled. Whatever you are, the universe is more equal with you in it. Unfortunately."
The woman barked a laugh, wheezing and wet. "Sithspit, Deshra."
"It's only true. Though why I'll never understand. Regardless...we are in no state to complete our mission. We ought to return to the remaining ship, thanks so much for destroying mine, and await a second team."
"You might be down and out, gimpy, but I'm good to go. I just gotta catch my breath."
The battered Jedi rolled his working eye.
"Disgraceful. Stubborn."
"Atty called it reliable. And you're just all about her, ain'tcha?"
Aiden grunted, not deigning to respond to her insults. He started limping for his vehicle, then gave up and summoned his droid to carry him. Satsi just slumped back and breathed as best she could. She'd get up and kick some Kaminoan doors down in a few minutes while her companion fell asleep and never woke up, if she was lucky.
In a minute.
Positive Takeaways
Combat Motivation
The post does an impressive job of setting up the conflict between two characters who on the surface of things wouldn’t necessarily be opposed to each other. Establishing the source of conflict is a crucial part of any opening post but isn’t always done this well. I find looking over an opponent’s aspects, personality and general mostly, for things that can be leveraged but also things like who they care about if you know that information are good ways to facilitate this.
Can Be Improved
Syntax
There are many errors with punctuation and some spelling errors in the post which do affect the post. I would suggest giving your post a read through to see if you can spot any errors with a second go around, proofreading is also another good way of achieving this.