The bar rang with noise. Somewhere behind the armoured man, a voice lifted above the others in song and an unearthly silence fell across the bar as eyes of all shapes and sizes turned their attention to the stage. A figure of exquisite beauty stood before a descended microphone. A Twi’lek whose voice reached inside and plucked at the very heartstrings of even the most hardened criminal. Her blue skin shimmered under the flickering lights, her movements beguiled and invited everyone to join her. Everyone except two patrons in the bar.
One, a stocky looking Zabrak; crimson-skinned and covered in black tattoos, sat at the bar sipping his drink. He paid no heed to the woman on the stage. Her power of vocal manipulation having no power over him. Though he couldn’t help but throw a sideways glance every now and then as the singer paraded around the stage like some prize bird of paradise. Which given the establishment he sat at, she most likely was.
The second sat in a comfy chair that faced towards the bar. No drink touched his own lips but his gaze never left the Zabrak. Mandalorian armour covered his body, adorned in patterns of his clan and family. Silver hair gathered at the nape of his neck half covered the monstrous cybernetics that adored most of the right side of his face. Mismatched eyes, one fake, constantly took in their surroundings seeking exits, points of interest and the patrons that drank. His hands danced across his blasters that sat upon his lap. They’d already gone over every inch of the dual Westars, but given what was to come, he wanted to ensure everything worked. There was no room for mistakes in the next few minutes.
The song finished. The ghostly silence dissipated with noise erupting once more as cheers and whistles filled the bar. The Mandalorian, Kojiro Keibatsu, head of House Marka Ragnos and son of the Keibatsu, rose from his seat and moved towards the bar. His helmet made its way from his belt to nestle upon his brow, the internal H.U.D starting up and feeding back info as his systems linked. Bodies jostled around him as they made their ways to the refreshers or one of the two bars that lay against the edge of the joint. The Quaestor reached his mark, blaster low until the muzzle stuck into the Zabrak’s back.
“I’d prefer you to not make any sudden movements. Put your drink down, then move your hands behind your back. Slowly.”
“Heh, this is surprising,” the Zabrak muttered as he placed his drink on the table. As he made to move his hands behind his back he peered over his shoulder at the armoured man that stood with a gun buried in his spine. “Just who do you think you are?”
“Look the other way, scum,” the blaster was buried deeper into the Zabrak’s spine. Kojiro’s free hand snaked down to his belt and withdrew a pair of stun cuffs. Clicking them open and moving them towards the Zabrak’s left hand. A click of satisfaction reached his ears as the left cuff slipped on. “As for who I am? I’m a member of the Bounty Hunters Guild, Keibatsu is my name. I believe you’ve heard of my family and I. Now do as I say and extend that other hand. I don’t need you able to walk to be able to hand you in alive.”
The threat and the name sent a shiver down the Zabrak’s spine. His mind raced to what on Aliso he could have done to warrant the guild being after him. There were so many possibilities. A bead of sweat drifted down his brow and he closed his eyes to recover himself. As he did, he drew upon the Force and lashed out with it. A telekinetic shove pushed the hunter away from him and caused him to stumble momentarily. The Mandalorian’s jetpack momentarily ignited allowing him to ground himself, but before he could react, the Zabrak had lashed out, landing a blow upon his hand and snatching the blaster away from him.
Kojiro ignited his jetpack again before his opponent could do anything else. The momentum carried him into the Zabrak and drove him against the bar. Patrons scattered as the two men collided. The Quaestor’s knee drove up hard into the stomach of his mark. In return, the Zabrak’s fist collided with his helmet with a rattle. The clone tumbled, allowing himself to drop so his opponent's fist passed over him and drew his second blaster, firing off four quick shots in succession. The alien returned fire, wildly, before launching the spent blaster away into the crowd and reaching down to his belt for a cylinder shaped object.
Kojiro cursed and raised his fist, his other hand came down and smacked the trigger on the device embedded in his armour. A small ball device jettisoned from its launcher and quickly unravelled into a net that flew towards the Zabrak. His opponent saw it coming, abandoned his grab for the weapon on his belt and dived backwards over the bar taking shelter as the capture device smacked into the metal missing its mark.
Patrons were pushing past Kojro by this point in a bid to escape the venue. The sounds of sirens in the distance let him known his time to complete the mission was drawing to a close. He regained his footing and strode towards the bar. A sound he had been dreading filled his ears as the Zabrak rose from his cover. Twin crimson blades rose with him and a sneer plastered across his face.
“You picked the wrong mark. Keibatsu or not, you’re dead.”
“And you picked the wrong cover Drol.” The Zabrak had little time to comprehend the clone’s words before the armour mounted wrist flamer activated causing a wave of flames to dance towards him and the alcohol-soaked bar he stood behind.
Positive Takeaways
The best takeaway I have after looking at this post is that—despite land-locking the venue, so to speak, to the bar instead of the streets—you worked hard to add a life to the location. There's others there. It's not just the two combatants, but a living word that they happen to be in. There's also clear attention to CS minutia, though leaning towards Kojiro more than Kul'tak. Would be beneficial to put that care evenly to both and really bring everything to life. Would strengthen your future content.
Areas For Improvement
This is an example of a place where the subtleties of grammar can improve. These are two complete sentences, related but standing alone. Instead of a comma, you'd use a semicolon, or have them split.
Whereas here it doesn't work, due to everything after the semicolon not being a complete sentence. It wouldn't be grammatically sound on its own.
This is another example I want to draw your eye to. There's repetition of 'power' here for two purposes. Repetition is a tool, usually used to reinforce something. Here it's not reinforcing, but rather tripping the reader. It could be rewritten as 'Her power of vocal manipulation held no sway over him'.
This is both a positive and a negative. Leading with the bad, at +2 you'd need to depict a few things. It can be a 'freebie' in that he has the time to concentrate, but it doesn't really come across as an "effort of will" here. Additionally, a hand gesture is required as a focus. Now, the positive! This was a good way of leaning into the Feats that your opponent's sheet has to play with. The unarming one is a good go-to.
Two last comments. One is the fact that the venue is Nar Shaddaa's streets, specifically. While you can bounce around from place to place there, it should incorporate the 'outdoors' and not be confined to a nameless bar. The other is that you seemed utterly adverse to naming your opponent. He is suddenly called "Drol" at the tail end. Literally the last paragraph.