Jo followed Lucine as she strode out of the shop and onto the street. Chute Town was a bustle of activity despite the late hour, with a myriad of races perusing the shops and stalls. The Sith paused just outside the door, skimming her surroundings with a critical eye. At last, her gaze fell upon a hulking Gamorrean who was bending over to examine a display of vibro-weapons.
“Him,” the Sith said as she gestured toward the porcine mercenary. “Neutralize that Gamorrean and we will talk further.”
“Seriously?” Jo could not help but to grin as he sized up the pudgy target. “No problem. This will be easy!”
He stepped forward, reaching down to retrieve one of the slugthrowers that hung at his hip. However, he was stopped by a delicate hand on his shoulder. “Please, darling, I would rather see you neutralize him using hand to hand combat,” Lucine purred. “I have heard so much about your skills, and I would love to see you in action.”
“Sure, no sweat,” Jo said, his cocksure grin never leaving his face. “Watch and prepare to be impressed.” He shook off her hand and strode toward his new target. As he walked, he triggered his bracers, and the twin blades emerged with a quiet snikt.
When he was directly behind the Gamorrean, he glanced back at the redhead. She had pulled out a datapad and was observing him closely, occasionally tapping notes into the interface. He turned back to the Gamorrean and tapped him on the shoulder. “Hey, you!”
The Gamorrean turned and the Reaver struck, aiming for his opponent’s chest. The hollowed, ceramic blade shattered as it impacted with the porcine humanoid’s armor, but the force of the blow itself was enough to get his attention. The mercenary’s piggy eyes widened in surprise at Jo’s audacious attack. Then, with a squeal of rage, he snatched up a vibro-axe and swung it at him.
“Too easy,” Jo laughed as he ducked. The axe passed overhead, barely ruffling his perfect blonde hair. The Reaver then struck a second time, relying on the force of his punch in lieu of his broken blade. He aimed for the fat that protruded from beneath the Gamorrean’s chest plate. His fist sank deep into his abdomen, causing his opponent to double over in pain. Grinning, Jo stood up and brought his knee up to connect with the porcine humanoid’s snout. His opponent grunted before collapsing to the ground, unconscious.
“Oh, well done,” Lucine murmured as she tapped a few more notes into her datapad. “You did a masterful job of disabling him.”
“I told you you’d be impressed!” Jo replied. “So, do I get the job?”
The redhead quirked a brow, her lips curving into a coy smile. “Oh dear. I am so sorry, darling, but I am afraid you misunderstood. You are not auditioning for the job. You are the job.”
Bru paused, a look of confusion crossing his perfect features. “What?”
“I was tasked with collecting more data concerning your abilities,” Lucine explained as she tapped a few more notes into the interface. “My contact will be quite grateful for the intel. Thank you ever so much for your cooperation.”
Jo’s eyes narrowed as he considered the situation. He had no idea who would want information about his abilities, but he had to assume that they did not have good intentions. “I don’t think so. Hand over that datapad, now!”
“That is not going to happen,” Lucine replied with a smirk. “You performed admirably, darling! Thank you for giving me what I needed. You may run along now.”
Bru could not shake the feeling that there was something off about the situation. The Force-user had to know that she was not safe, yet she stood there bragging and practically begging him to attack her. Was it overconfidence on her part? Maybe. But one thing was certain: he could not let her send that information to her contact.
He did not bother to reply to her mocking words. Instead, he retrieved his slugthrower from its holster and aimed it at the redhead. He squeezed off a single shot before she had time to react. Lucine’s eyes widened in shock as the datapad in her hand sparked from the slug that passed neatly through it. It fell from nerveless fingers, revealing the crimson hole in her chest where the slug had embedded itself. Without a word, she crumpled to the ground.
Jo snorted at the ease with which he had dispatched the Force-user. But there was something niggling in the back of his mind. Something about the situation still bothered him. He strode forward to stand over the woman’s corpse, his finger on the slugthrower trigger in case this was some sort of trick.
The woman’s green eyes were open wide and staring blankly up at him. She lay unmoving as smoke drifted lazily from the gaping hole in her chest. She was obviously dead. Yet as he continued to try to silence the voice of doubt in the back of his mind, he heard the sound of an igniting lightsaber. He whirled, instinctively raising his weapon toward the sound of the plasma weapon.
Lucine, as it turned out, was standing behind him. The emerald blade flashed and the slugthrower sparked as it was sliced neatly in two. “That was most unchivalrous, darling,” the redhead said with a tsk.
Positive Takeaways
The shortest of words can tell you the most sometimes. This hits two of Jo’s aspects pretty well, and tells your readers a lot about him. The looks and the ego that goes with it. Didn’t even need a full sentence to relay that. Good writing.
Lucine is a pretty face, and she uses that to use people. You play this out pretty well with having Jo roll with it.
Can Be Improved
Good rule of thumb: If ellipses are being used, always three periods. Never two, four, or more. Another good rule of thumb is if there is a narrative description followed by dialogue, best to use just a comma every time.
Both sentences were actually complete and didn’t need a semicolon.
Credits didn’t need to be capitalized.
Also… where’s the combat? Jo is suppose to be fighting Lucine.