Bentre brought his blue saber down in a direct and powerful hammering blow that would have split Tahiri in two, if she didn’t roll out of the way just in time. Staying low the Togruta dashed in and out of the reach of the Corellian’s blade, thrusting, slashing, and clashing with his blades.
As a true predator would.
Tahiri stayed as mobile as she could, without over exhausting herself. Studying the Corellian as he made certain advances toward her, his strikes being quite straightforward and at times overbearing.
The Togruta found it interesting how Bentre seemed to be enjoying himself, when she was just out of reach and had to dodge every time his blade swept toward her. However, he would also get pissed off when she came in for an attack of her own, as she would make him move and dodge against her blows.
There was a pause in the clashes and both hunters were breathing hard from trying to get the upper hand. Tahiri was crouched on the encroaching sand that threatened to engulf the ruins around them, while Bentre stood, eyes searching, in a wide footed stance ready for any movement or attack.
“What’s the matter, little Togruta? Thinking you bit off more than you could chew?” Bentre asked sarcastically.
“No.” Tahiri began to gather the Force within her, feeling it seep into her muscles. Standing to her full height, and in a displaying fashion, Tahiri twirled her blades. She could see the twitching of the Corellian’s muscles in his neck.
“Nothing my fangs can’t sink in to and tear a chunk off!”
Baring her sharp teeth in a wicked grin, the crimson skinned Togruta launched herself at the man, blades crossed. She began a acrobatic display of attacks, quickly hitting at any opening and then bouncing back out of danger.
Bentre watched how the Togruta moved, there were points he could tell where her movements blended from one to another with ease. Though some moves became more unpredictable than the last, a twist or parry would turn unpredictably into a thrust or twirl, usually ending in either an advancement in position or a retreat.
As the irritating, flitting Togruta came closer
Tahiri methodically pushed and pulled Bentre into the position she wanted him in, a way to end it quickly and quietly. Augmenting her moves, a little at time during key points. Seeing that the end of this hunt would soon be over, the Togrutan woman pivoted slashing at Bentre, then feinting and hitting the wall instead. Though, instead hearing the satisfactory crash of debre, a harsh crackle filled the air and searing pain filled her body. The Togruta lost all senses and her blades dropped away from her hands, as she crashed to floor, unconscious.
As Tahiri had launched herself for the final attack, Bentre reached for the Force, and sent a powerful bolt of lightning from his right hand. The Corellian felt a painful tingling sensation run up his entire arm and bore itself into his shoulder muscles.
Swearing aloud and dropping his saber, Bentre looked down at the little Togruta sprawled out on the sand
“I hope we meet again, Togruta. I have unfinished business with you, my sweet little prey.”
Positive Takeaways
POV
The post starts off from one POV and sticks to it throughout. While not the most glamorous accomplishment, being technically sound helps build a solid foundation on which the rest of the post is built. I would suggest reading fiction that comes from more than one POV, as it can provide a more complete image than just following a single character. Ultimately it does come down to preference but knowing the strengths and weaknesses of each provides options.
Can Be Improved
Lights, Camera, What Comes Next?
The post suffers from a lack of any real action taking place within it. Both characters pull out weapons, and Tahiri jumps back a little, but that’s right at the end of your post. Combined with the word count for the post this gives me the impression that the post was rushed and that it could’ve benefitted from being planned out more. Perhaps dedicating to figuring out what the post wants to do and the time in which it would be written. I find being organised is key to doing well in the ACC. The first post is tasked with finding a balance between exposition and conflict. I find assessing both character sheets involved and finding ways to incorporate the venue helps to enrich the story being told.