A whirl of protest sounded from Kelpie, though to be honest - Baelor had never learned the damn droid’s language and couldn’t deny it might have been a scream of excitement instead. Regardless, as the droid screeched through the air, he soared through the window and soon landed on the rocky, uneven terrain outside with several skips across the earth before coming to rest with a clang against a rocky outcrop.
In comparison, Baelor was much more graceful as he dove through the window and turned his fall into a flip. Landing on his feet again, Baelor launched himself forward into a roll that absorbed the dangerous height of the fall. Once Baelor had finally stood and regained his senses while ignoring the chatter from Kelpie, he nodded towards their parked X-wing in the distance and told the droid to beat it. When a tone much like a raspberry was given in response, Baelor was quick to point a single finger at the droid and wave it threateningly.
“Don’t make me hoof you again!” Baelor warned, taking a moment to look back towards their window of escape. It was peculiar to the Warden that the Sith underling hadn’t bothered to follow the Jedi through the window, yet for as annoying as the droid was - the next whirl of warning it made gave the Jedi enough time to grasp his lightsabers and activated them. The distinctive sounds of the weapons as they sprang to life had deafened the noise of blaster fire that rang from the far side of the castle wall. It appeared that as Jedi and droid took the straightest approach to exit the cantina, the Sith had bothered to double back to the entrance of the castle and now had a clear range of fire on the pair.
“Go! Now!” Baelor shouted over his shoulder. Again, not understanding the droid but taken its lightening tone, Baelor concluded that the droid conceded. It was about time too, through gritted teeth the man cursed at every bolt fired from the ranged Sith. It took every ounce of focus from the man to make sure he caught each bolt on one of his blades, deflecting them wildly around him. He spared only a moment to question why he hadn’t taken the time to learn a more defensive guard. In the open field that surrounded him, there was little for him to make use of to break up the badgering fire of the Sith and he was forced to slowly advance step by step between deflections - and at this rate, he’d be hours.
After several minutes, the work out the man was being put through was clearly evident on his brow. Sweat beaded across his face and soon drenched the Jedi collar. In that time, the Jedi had only moved a dozen meters or so. Every time he leaped forward to get out of the Sith’s fire, and hopefully gain some distance, the Jedi found the Sith had accurately predicted his charge and quickly pinned the Jedi down again. When he had tried to retreat, again the Sith had predicted his movements. Short of lying down and accepting his fate, Baelor found he had no choice but taking the assault square on. For the first time in a while, Baelor felt simply vulnerable and unable to alter his own course.
It was at that moment, when fully consumed by that awful emotion, that his fate changed. A triumphant tone whistled loudly from across the battlefield - grabbing everyone’s attention. As the Sith’s fire stopped, this black object wheeled across the field and continued to toot loudly. Dome pointed forward as if it prepared itself to ram anything in its path, Kelpie sped across the field and had given Baelor the break he desperately needed from the onslaught. While a lesser man would have taken the break to retreat or recover, Baelor’s focus now flipped towards concern for his friend.
Stumbling at first, the Jedi pushed forward and quickly closed the gap between himself and the Sith. Still protected by the stone archway leading up to the castle, Dek maintained his elevated position and had resumed fire towards the Jedi. At times reaching his blaster awkwardly over the barrier and firing blindly, Baelor still remained the primary target of the Sith until Kelpie had finally rejoined the Jedi at the base of the archway and had proceeded to charge forward against the protests of his human friend.
It was right as Baelor rounded the corner after his friend, that the man was met with the sight of the poor droid catching a blaster bolt square on its center of mass.
A fuzzy screech sounded from the droid as it sagged backward down the ramp of the archway. Missing the bottom of its round base, Kelpie ground to a halt at the feet of the Jedi - whom instantly discard his weapons to the ground beside him and collapsed to hug his dying friend. Likely projecting onto the droid, a labored tone beeped from Kelpie one last time before it’s dome top twisted towards the human’s chest. When the droid’s viewport was felt on the man’s chest, Baelor felt the weight of the loss in a cascade of emotion as memories of their adventures danced through his head only to end on how cold the droid metallic body now felt.
“I’m sorry, buddy.” Baelor choked out before straining to keep from sobbing. “I should have treated you better while I still had you.”
Forgetting the world after them, Baelor held the wreckage tight as he began to rock with it.
It was several minutes later before the Jedi’s focus was brought back to reality. A feeling of disgust had taken over the pain of loss as Jedi clued into the sicking laughter that rang down from the top of the archway ramp. Looking up to the source through tearful eyes, Baelor’s gaze fell upon Dek.
“How pathetic.” Dek began. At this point his blaster was held loosely by his hip but he quickly brought it up to the side of his face before continuing. “Allow me to put you out of your misery.”
“Wait!” Baelor protested, raising a single hand from the tight grasp on Kelpie. “This doesn’t have to end here.”
“Oh yeah?” Dek questioned with a laugh, “Why doesn’t it?”
“Look, while none of this had to happen; we could still go our separate ways.” When Dek failed to respond, Baelor continued. “You wanted to know what I was up to, right? Why don’t I allow you that, if you let me leave with him?”
The disgust was plain on Dek’s face, but he seemed interested. Again, when he failed to respond further, Baelor continued. Quickly, though it seemed to pain him to do so, the Jedi pulled a cloth wrapped object from the internal container of the droid. Presenting to above his head to ready the Sith to catch it, the Jedi then lightly tossed the object to the Sith’s outstretched arm. For a moment, the Sith fumbled to catch the object, but he quickly recovered and keep the object in his hand while tucking his blaster under his arm to examine it. Uncovering the cloth, Dek seemed confused when it produced nothing more than a green lightsaber crystal.
“What’s so special about this?” Dek quipped, staring deeply into the crystal while raising it to the light of the planet’s sun.
“That wasn’t part of the deal.” The words had a string of anger to them as Baelor thrust his empty arm forward. In sequence with the Jedi’s movement, one of the discarded lightsabers lifted from the ground and sprang forward, flipping end over end as it soared, towards the Sith. Either from the Jedi’s words or sensing something off, Dek turned his attention back to the Jedi just in time for Baelor to snap his fingers. Again, in sequence, the lightsaber activated itself and a bright blue light pierced through the Sith’s skull before it carried itself down to his groin from the rotating momentum of the hilt.
A painful groan came from the Sith, but it was soon overcome by the deep sobbing from the Jedi as he went back to hugging Kelpie’s broken body.
Positive Takeaways
It's clear that Dek and Baelor have some history together, and the post does a great job of getting that across. Setting this conflict as apart of the larger narrative of Baelor leaving the Scholae was definitely a good choice, as it makes the battle feel less like an isolated, pointless incident and more apart of a wider, ongoing conflict.
Can be Improved
The syntax here needs some work. There's a number of capitalization and spelling mistakes, missing words, strange tenses, and overall the sentence structure is very off-putting. A proofer would not go amiss in the future, and special care and attention towards syntax would go a long way.
The story itself could be better executed, and I came off feeling rather blandly towards it. The premise, that Dek was sent to hunt down Baelor for information, is serviceable in itself, but might have been better executed and expanded upon. Dek wants to know where Baelor has been, but it's not clearly established why he or his clan cares, and what exactly he's hoping to gain from it. This being his whole reason for fighting, the lack of emphasis of this matter cheapens the whole fight.
The post then goes into a short diatribe about Scholae tactics and political order, using a lot of three dollar words and technical jargon that felt rather out of place. It made the dialogue come off as very stiff and stilted, like reading a text-book instead of two, living people discussing a subject. In general the dialogue in this post just didn't do it for me.