The heft of a minted coin from Naboo rolled between his clawed fingers, catching the light at different angles as it passed between each of the Kel Dor’s four digits. How long had it been—ten minutes, an hour? TuQ'uan wasn’t fond of waiting in line, much less loitering about for an audience to collect on the rest of his fees. At least his breath mask filtered out the worst of the smells—Kaadu dung and gooberfish among them. Still, as much as he didn’t care to admit, the view outside was something to behold. Beneath his goggles, the merc’s gaze transfixed on the movement of lights outside of Otoh Gunga’s hydrostatic force-fields, catching the moment when a Colo claw fish snatched a smaller fish between its mandibles.
“Yousa, ‘dere!” the guttural voice of a grizzled old Gungan woke TuQ'uan from his trance, his bill noticeably covered in long whiskers. “Da Boss is finished! No more visitors. Whensa yousa gonna leave here?”
“You tell the ‘boss’ I’ll leave when he gives me what he owes—the fee has doubled, as I said,” TuQ'uan adjusted the credit pouch on his hip, which was a lot lighter than he would have liked given the circumstances. “Tell me to shove off one more time, and we’re going to have an issue on our hands.”
“Yoursa issue isn’t with mesa, yousa should besa takin’ a longo walk out of here, or wesa gon’ have trouble!” Evidently, threatening the aging Gungan wasn’t the best choice for getting closer to an audience with the Gungan Boss, TuQ'uan reasoned, when the Gungan’s mounted Kaadu’s foot brushed the ground at the same time that the grizzled veteran himself jabbed the business end of an electropole in front of the Kel Dor’s visor.
“Seems to me we’re at an impasse,” TuQ'uan acknowledged flatly, shifting a clawed hand to unbuckle the holster of a DL-44 blaster in one swift motion. Before the grizzled Gungan could react, a shot grazed a black trail across the back of his scaly forearm while his eyestalks contorted in shock, the bottom of their lids fluttering with the burning sensation.
“That’sa it! Mesa see if yousa’ as bombad when yousa swimmin’ to the surface!” TuQ'uan took a measured step to the side to narrowly avoid the electrified pole thrust in his direction, blocking its return against one of the dual edges of a dagger he produced from his belt.
Before the melee could continue, a lavender-skinned figure materialized from the portal into the boss’ bubble, somewhat amused at the scene of a Kel Dor fending off who she believed could be the most cantankerous of all the guards in Otoh Gunga. “Finally found someone as ill-mannered as you are dour, Kroosk-Kroosk?”
Both combatants traded glances before focusing on the newcomer. “Who are you callin’ ill-mannered, Miss?” TuQ'uan holstered the DL-44, confident that now it was his time to collect his credits and leave this bubble below water.
“Kituri,” the Gungan named Kroosk-Kroosk offered as both an answer and greeting, “A’lora Kituri.”
Tilting the brim of his hat with a clawed digit, TuQ'uan nodded in affirmation. “Miss Kituri—care to have this flap-eared blowfish explain how the ‘boss’ isn’t taking guests, or didn’t he tell you that?”
“Kroosk…” the Togruta admonished, eliciting a shrug from the mounted warrior, “...regardless, I was told that the services of an outlaw aren’t welcomed in Otoh Gunga. You will have to leave, outsider.”
“Outsider?” TuQ'uan scoffed beneath his mask. “You’re as much of one as I am! Not to mention that Blarth of a Gungan shorted on his side of the bargain!”
“That changes nothing.” She stepped closer. “The truth is that the Gungans no longer require your services, and our exchange couldn’t continue with you threatening one of their warriors; honestly, this isn’t a den of thieves that you can shoot without consequence.”
“Your exchange? Well nevermind that, I’m not leaving until that slimy slug makes good on his deal—with me!”
Maneuvering closer to the purple-skinned woman, Kroosk-Kroosk chortled in delight, “Ooh, you’sa gon’ get tossed with da fishes, now!” and drew a nod of dissatisfaction from the Jedi Councillor. Noticing that he might have overstepped his boundaries, Kroosk-Kroosk retreated behind the Togruta like a shield. “Mesa just gon’ sit back and watch ‘dis.”
Offered as some sort of gesture—either to heighten his amusement or out of genuine thankfulness—the Gungan held the electropole over the shoulder of his accomplice like some sort of gladiatorial observer giving his preferred combatant an unfair advantage despite the Kel Dor’s own arsenal. Parting with a pat on her shoulder, A’lora seized the haft in a graceful motion that transitioned into a weaving of patterns that followed her closer to the Kel Dor, again fingering the grip of his DL-44 like a trained gunslinger attending a shootout.
“You brought a stick to a gunfight,” he quipped.
“On the contrary,” A’lora’s voice became several as her image split into six near-identical duplicates, “this isn’t a gunfight.”
Not one to be the last to the draw, TuQ'uan’s clawed fingers brought the DL-44 blaster pistol from its sheath with a singular rotation, blasterfire erupting from its barrel with a speed that Greedo himself might have envied—if the famous bounty hunter had survived his encounter with Han Solo.
Four of the bolts struck the mirror images of a very angry Togruta in succession. Unfortunately for him, however, he didn’t possess the famous smuggler’s luck and each of the shots dissipated against the electrostatic force-fields.
“Aw, krif—” the mask-muffled voice of the Kel Dor cut short against the uncharged end of the Togruta’s electropole, which crashed against the side of his head like a Tusken gaderffi.
“Yousa gon’ feel that tomorrow!” the familiar voice taunted from the sidelines from atop his Kaadu. “Ain’t no one mess with bombad Jedi!”
Positive Takeaways
I love this reference to the original trilogy. It’s a nice bit of variety that also very clearly conveys a quick blaster exchange.
Overall this post had some exceptional use of the venue and a positive use of a spectator NPC. Details like this make the conflict feel like it is happening in a living breathing world instead of in a white room.
Can Be Improved
While the use of the venue and npcs was a strong addition to the post it was also a bit of a double-edged sword in that it hurt pacing slightly. A’lora doesn’t even show up until 400 words in of a 974 word post. It can be a challenge to balance world-building with keeping the focus on the two characters and their conflict but for future matches be aware of what the conflict is going to be and how you introduce it.
I know the shadow clone tactic is part of A’lora’s aspects but you might have pushed the illusion power a bit much here. To be clear, this doesn’t rise to the level of a realism error. But I would caution you in future matches to try to keep the illusions more grounded (or plausible to the target). Duplicate illusions and the like work better both from a realism standpoint and narratively when there’s a break in line of sight between caster and target.