Battlemaster Lucine Vasano vs. Augur Aiden Lee Deshra

Battlemaster Lucine Vasano

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Seeker
vs.

Augur Aiden Lee Deshra

Equite 4, Equite tier, Unaffiliated
Male Human, Force Disciple, Seeker
Comment

Thank you both for your participation in the Spring 2019 ACC Championship, it is always wonderful seeing such an amazing match.

First off, I just want to say… wow. Absolutely incredible writing on both counts. You both know your stuff and it was incredible to see you both compete so hard for the win. It was an absolute challenge to find anything to really point out when you both performed so nearly flawlessly in every aspect.

Syntax was neatly perfect with only minor detractors that were barely worth mentioning. Rhylance you were caught a bit out of sorts here with your use of red-head instead of redhead a few times in one post, then one case of a typo witts instead of what I assumed was supposed to be wits.

Story was likewise absolutely amazing. You both know how to tell a story, and what a story it was. It was exciting, it was rich with detail, the dialogue was well used, combat was fiery and beautifully choreographed. You both have such intricate and rich characters that it was a treat to read their interactions whether through the talking or combat itself. Towards the end of your final post, Rhylance, your closing felt very abrupt. I know you were pretty much at word cap but, it just felt kind of sudden. Too sudden. This cost you a little in the end.

Realism was great on both sides. Rhylance, in your first post, Lucine makes use of Mind Trick +4 with Moving the Masses. As per the wording of the feat, it requires more effort for every additional target yet she does not seem to need to use much concentration at all then, proceeds to use telekinesis then illusion in quick succession without the effects of fatigue. In your final post, you again have her using an illusion, this time as a distraction; easy enough considering her level in the Force power, however, she at the same time as maintaining the illusion uses her Telekinesis +2 to throw a bottle while holding back a physically stronger opponent. On both sides, I saw great use of each other’s Aspects. Lucine, in your final post you have Aiden slipping more and more towards the dark side as per his Aspect We All Have A Dark Side and it was written in such an impactful way that it really drove that ending (playing some into your Story score.)

Continuity was great all around.

Overall. This was an awesome match to judge. You both wrote amazing posts. There can only be one winner, however, and that winner today is Lucine Vasano. Congratulations!

Thank you both once again for your participation!

-- Mune Cinteroph

Hall Spring 2019 ACC Championship
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Battlemaster Lucine Vasano, Augur Aiden Lee Deshra
Winner Battlemaster Lucine Vasano
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Battlemaster Lucine Vasano's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Augur Aiden Lee Deshra's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Nancora: Faron City
Last Post 8 May, 2019 4:17 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Dr. Rhylance Lucine Vasano
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: Repeated mistake, nothing big though. Rationale: Nothing of note.
Story - 40%
Dr. Rhylance Lucine Vasano
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: The abrupt end kept this from being a 5, otherwise, incredible story. Rationale: Fantastic story throughout, good strong ending that had a great buildup and follow through.
Realism - 25%
Dr. Rhylance Lucine Vasano
Score: 3 Score: 5
Rationale: Force power misuse. Notes below. Rationale: Nothing of note.
Continuity - 20%
Dr. Rhylance Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Nothing of note. Rationale: Nothing of note.
Dr. Rhylance's Score: 3.95 Lucine Vasano's Score: 5.0
Posts

faron_city

Faron is one of the twin cities on Nancora alongside Axio, breaking up the planet's scarred surface with their presence. Originally existing in the form of underground shelters, the city was built up slowly—layer by layer—until it became a metropolis so large that it can be clearly seen from orbit. In order to maintain an organized infrastructure, the city itself is separated into districts based on the disc-like, concentric blocks that make up its design.

The outer district is the largest of these. Here, the buildings form alleys and streets that criss-cross as they either run straight towards the center of Faron or curve along its circumference. The complexes found here are almost mathematical in design. Towers built upon towers, they all link together like geometric puzzle pieces with harsh lines and angles in lieu of softer edges. Having to deal with the elements, the durasteel constructs appear weathered and worn, but maintain a bright coloring to reflect as much light as possible and reduce its thermal conversion.

Industry thrives in Faron, and its districts embody this. In the outer district, shops meet with living centers and the lines between them blur. An apartment cluster appears much the same as a grand complex containing a myriad of speeders or other such technological constructions. Power relays, the key to keeping the city functioning in its entirely, are staggered along the streets and each level. Through redundancy, the system prevents the loss of a single relay from crippling it. The citizens flood the district at ground level, marching with haste towards their destinations while the skylanes flicker with activity high above.

In Faron's outer district, the thriving metropolis can be seen in all its many facets, but also at its most vulnerable.

The streets of Faron City were alive with hustled enterprise. The many denizens of Axio’s twin city were hurried in their endeavors, frantically making haste to their places of employment. Amidst the gridlocked crowd carefully moved the recently promoted Quaestor of Qel-Droma. Her red hair billowed behind her as speeders zoomed past overhead. While the industry of the city was a jewel to behold, the resulting smog of progress draped over the mob of working-class civilians.

Lucine Vasano would have rather been nearly anyplace else. Her finer sensitivities and predilections towards the more high-end routes of life left her with a resounding feeling of discomfort and reluctance in her current assignment. Had it been anyone other than her friend — and superior in rank — she may have fought against it. Rhylance had put his faith and trust in her to do her duty for her Clan, and she refused to disappoint the Chiss. This was especially true as her goals at advancement were still firmly in her sights.

The fiery woman found the small cantina her target was supposed to meet her at. Her mission was to meet with one of Arcona's Seekers. The only information she'd been given on the man was that he'd approach her when she arrived at their meeting place. For the current head of the Dajorra Intelligence Agency, being kept in the dark like this wasn’t a well-received occurrence.

The things I do for Arcona, she thought to herself. Any information gathered about the Collective would be essential for her Clan’s well being, which in turn brought safety to her band of thieves on Port Ol’val. Let’s get this over with.

Stepping into the small bar, Lucine scanned the room with a swift drag of her emerald eyes. Not seeing any person who looked familiar to her, she walked up to the counter and ordered a small glass of fine Coruscanti wine. While other patrons admired her beauty, their repugnance was a buffer for the Quaestor’s attention. After finding herself a seat, she waited patiently for a few minutes, occasionally taking a sip of her beverage.

After ten minutes of waiting Lucine was about ready to leave. She slowly stood up and moved to collect herself a bit more when she felt a familiar presence approaching her from behind. A presence that she hadn’t felt since their brief but annoyingly memorable meeting on Jakku.

“You here to test me again? You might not like the results,” Lucine spoke with an edge to her voice. She was not a graceful loser, and the man behind her had shown her up quite effortlessly.

“A happy coincidence actually,” the smooth voice of Aiden Lee Deshra responded. “But a welcome one, I assure you.”

The two rival Force users sat down at the table. Deep pools of forest green met teal orbs with a frosty bite. Aiden wordlessly took out a small data chip and placed it onto the hard surface between them. Never breaking her connective gaze, Lucine reached for the piece of technology with well-manicured digits.

“Not so fast,” the lower voice of Aiden met her ears with gentle ease. “This data is essential for our Clan. Something big is coming. The Collective is gearing up for a counter-offensive. Arcona is in their sights, probably because of all the raids.”

Lucine couldn’t help but roll her eyes. The Collective were a nuisance, to be sure, but at this point in time, she had more pressing concerns.

“Just give me the chip, Deshra. I have an entire House to take command of, I don’t have time for your theatrics.”

“Still so impatient. I would’ve thought you’d have learned your lesson on Jakku.” The man’s jab left Lucine jaded. Aiden knew what buttons to press, and he did it with ease. “Maybe Atyiru truly was mistaken about you. Underneath that pretty face of yours, I can’t see anything of note. So much darkness, and no control. There’s no balance in your heart.”

Lucine felt the Dark Side pulsing within her. She'd had enough of the man’s taunts. Though he’d shown her up in the past, in the present it wouldn’t be so easy. The woman focused on the cantina around them, her mind concentrated on the few patrons who quietly drank their lives away.

“Listen to my voice, everyone!” All eyes focused on the crimson-haired socialite. Her voice emanated power, laced with the shadowy hue of the Dark Side. “You will leave this place at once, and forget what you saw and heard here today.”

Glasses dropped to the ferrocrete ground, shattering upon impact. Whiskey, bourbon, and all manners of liquor spread across the floor as the cantina's staff and customers stood up from their seats. Tendrils of darkness infected their minds and in a forced exit, they vacated the premises, leaving the door wide open.

Having not been the target of the woman’s commands, Aiden sat with an intrigued grin. He had pushed her over the edge.

“Always taking the bait. You need to find control, to find balance. Without it, the darkness will consume you.”

“You want to see darkness, darling? I’ll show you darkness.”

Lucine reached out with Force and with a flick of her hand sent a nearby glass careening through the air at the sitting man. Aiden rolled out of his chair, dodging the glass. As the cup shattered against a window, the red-headed woman grabbed the data chip from the table and dove behind the nearby bar.

Gathering the dark energies around her, Lucine imagined a copy of herself and brought her dream into being. Another Lucine Vasano stood up from behind the bar and ran towards the open door. Waiting for a few moments, the real Lucine slowly stood up to find Aiden standing by the door, a smile adorning his face. In his right hand, Midnight’s Calling was held in a light grip, not yet activated.

“I’ve dealt with your illusions before, gotta try harder than that.”

“As you wish.”

Adept Mune Cinteroph, 12 May, 2019 12:42 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Absolutely fantastic opening post. Your way of setting the scene was wonderful, from Lucine’s walking through the crowds of working folk to her stepping into the bar; you draw your reader in and completely immerse them in the scene. From there you move into some great character interaction and do beautifully in making the reader see that these two actually have a prior history and what appears to be a not so good history at that. I lLove seeing a scene set up so well. Good work.

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Things To Think About

I was worried you were going to run out of words before you got to some combat, but, you got it in there though not in abundance. I do like what you did with it, but, I do feel you could have sacrificed some of the build-ups to get that little bit more combat in there. A bigger eye catcher here was the use of Mind Trick by Lucine to clear the bar. She does have a high level in this skill, and a feat to affect more than one mind at a time. That noted, there is more than a few people in the bar that she is affecting with what seems to be little to no exertion, followed up nearly straight away by telekinesis and an illusion. Making use of the Force in such a manner should never be done so effortlessly.

Lucine narrowed her eyes as she drew upon the Force, using her anger toward the balance adherent as a focus. As she marshaled her power, her hand twitched toward the lightsaber hanging on her belt. Aiden's cocksure smile never faltered, though he raised Midnight's Calling a little higher to defend himself against her machinations.

The seconds slid past as they stood in that silent tableau, as each person dared the other to make the first move. It was Lucine who broke the standoff first. The hand that had been reaching for her weapon moved up to flick her red curls aside and she laughed.

"What, precisely, is your goal here, Deshra? Do you think to goad me into a fight in the middle of a city that still contains many Collective-sympathizers? That seems quite unwise." The time she had spent behind the bar had allowed her time to get her temper under control. In retrospect, it seemed that the balance adherent had gone out of his way to push her buttons. In her mind, the best way to deal with that was to not give him what he wanted.

"I'm proving a point," Aiden replied. "You lack control." Though his tone was easy, his stance never faltered.

Lucine tsked quietly under her breath as she vaulted over the bar. "Your repetitiveness grows tiresome, darling. You harped about my lack of control on Jakku too."

Her emerald eyes caught his blue-green ones, and she strode across the room toward him. She made no effort to draw a weapon as she moved, keeping her hands in a neutral position at her sides. Broken glass crunched under her boots with every step until she was within arm’s reach of him.

"I 'harped' about it because it's important," Aiden replied as he watched the redhead warily. What was she up to?

"I suspect you will have the opportunity to see me demonstrate my control before the day is out," Lucine said in an amiable tone. "But what about your control?"

She took another step forward. The hilt of Midnight's Calling was now pressed lightly against her chest. Aiden could feel movement with every breath, proof that this was not an illusion.

"Are you going to strike me down, darling?" Lucine's voice dropped to a sweet whisper as she looked up at him through her eyelashes. Her eyes sparkled with mischief.

Aiden did not respond, merely observing her warily. This was a tactic he had not expected her to utilize and was uncertain how to respond.

The Sith chuckled quietly and reached up with her left hand to gently push his lightsaber aside. She took another step closer until their bodies were inches apart. Aiden detected the faint scent of her perfume, vanilla and cinnamon. "I imagine you could teach me quite a bit about control," she said in a throaty whisper, filled with suggestion and promise. “But you know, darling, it is so much easier to draw flies with honey than with vinegar.”

The words had no sooner passed her lips than the Force sent a thrill up Aiden’s spine, warning him of impending danger. He swept his left arm to the side, blocking an open-handed strike aimed toward his solar plexus. The force of the attempted blow was far greater than it should have been, given the distance between them. Clearly, she had used her dark power to augment her strength to make up for the close proximity.

The lascivious smile never left the Sith’s face as she followed up by grabbing his wrist and twisting, causing his lightsaber to clatter to the ground. As Aiden wrenched his arm free from her grasp, she aimed a chop with her left hand toward his neck. It was only his reflexes that saved him, allowing him to duck to the side even as he aimed a punch to her stomach. His fist connected with her armor, but the close proximity sapped much of the force from his blow.

Realizing that he needed more space, the balance adherent tried to take a step back, but Lucine slid one foot forward, hooking her ankle behind his leg and tripping him. Aiden fell to the ground with a thud and rolled, barely avoiding a kick to the ribs. Hastily, he gathered his feet under him and raised himself into a crouch as he drew upon the Force. He slammed his fist to the ground, projecting his energy into a shock wave that caused the floor to buckle beneath Lucine’s feet. She tumbled to the ground with an undignified yelp.

The Force Disciple rose to a standing position as he reached out with the Force. Midnight’s Calling skittered across the ground before flying to his hand. The song of battle filled his ears, causing him to remember his Mandalorian training. He grinned as he flipped the ignition switch and the silver blade flared to life.

Lucine was already moving, rolling into a crouch as she pulled her lightsaber from her belt. There were thin cuts on her face and hands from her fall amid the broken glass, but she paid them little heed. Emerald plasma extended from her lightsaber hilt with a snap-hiss as Aiden crossed the distance between them in two steps, swinging his blade downward in the process. The Sith brought her own lightsaber up to defend and the blades connected with a crackle above her head.

The two struggled silently for a moment, but Aiden’s superior position gave him the advantage. The crossed blades slowly began to descend toward Lucine. She flicked her eyes toward the doorway of the cantina and wove threads of darkness into an image of a bulky Togrutan male.

“Help! Force users!” the illusion shouted, loud enough to startle Aiden into looking up.

Adept Mune Cinteroph, 12 May, 2019 12:43 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Some absolutely fantastic character interactions, Lucine is really working that Manipulation and she does it well. Great use of Amplification as well, keeping in mind the physics of throwing any sort of physical strike at so close a range and the loss of force as a result; something often left out when it comes to combat writing. Ending on such a quick and easy trick to startle Aiden at the end, loved it.

--

Things To Think About

Really have nothing to note here.

On instinct Aiden raised his cybernetic hand towards the Togrutan, channeling the Force to act upon his will. He meant to pull the alien into the cantina, but nothing happened. His eyes went wide as he realized his folly, and the illusion faded from reality.

Lucine used the successful diversion to her advantage. She reached out with her feelings, grasping a bottle from atop the bar with her mind. With the wave of her manicured hand, it was sent hurtling towards her opponent.

Aiden’s senses screamed, alerting him to the coming danger. He rolled himself to the right, nearly crashing into a table and cutting his robes on broken glass. Lucine rolled with him, locking her legs around his waist. Coming to rest atop the man, she unravelled her legs, moving her left foot to pin his right wrist to the ground. She pointed her emerald blade at his throat.

“Wow, you know how to keep a guy on his toes, don’tcha?” Aiden laughed as he gazed into the red-head’s brilliant green stare. The ferocity Lucine displayed truly was a beauty to behold.

“And you know how to make a woman feel like messing up that handsome face of yours,” she responded in kind. “Too bad, really. It would be such a waste of a perfect profile.”

“I think I really am starting to see what your old master saw in you. You have tremendous potential. I just wish you wouldn’t allow the darkness to consume you so fully,” as he spoke, Aiden concentrated on the shoto saber hidden inside his left sleeve.

“I am not afraid of the darkness. I use it to further my goals and fight against those who would do me wrong. I will, however, not let it corrupt me. Only I am in control of my actions and my life.” Lucine remained ready to kill the man beneath her. He was no friend to her, but he was a friend to others in Arcona with a higher command ledger than her own. The wise course of action was coming upon her.

Aiden could see the hesitation in her eyes. He felt the shoto saber spring free from its confines, waiting to be pulled into his grasp. Lucine had indeed surprised him, but now, as per Atyiru’s wishes, he had one final test to administer. His gaze met hers and his focus intensified. He concentrated, staring into the red-head’s green eyes as if he was peering into her soul. The Force bent to his desires, and the balance adherent spoke.

“Lucine, I know that fear, anger, all of our most base negative emotions are swirling within you, just waiting to be released. So tell me...” As he spoke, his voice became like a song within her head. Tendrils of darkness dug into the recesses of her mind, and her stern will fought back as much as it could. “What is it that you fear? What are you running from? What haunts your past?”

Lucine attempted to break eye contact. Her body seemed to fight against her mind. Aiden’s words echoed in her head, digging, burrowing down into the darkest places she hoped to have left behind.

“I need you to tell me, Lucine. Who holds this power over you? Who is it that you fear?”

Again and again, she fought back but his questions demanded their answers. Aiden watched from beneath her as her mouth began to twitch, the answers threatening to spill out of her. Aiden pushed all other thoughts from his mind and tried to listen, tried to hear what she wanted to stay hidden. He could feel his own head beginning to throb from overexertion, but his duty was clear. Against her better knowledge, two words fell from Lucine’s lips. Deepening his concentration, Aiden also heard her brief thoughts.

“Ada...line…” Lucine bared her teeth at the man beneath her. She fought to thrust her lightsaber into his throat.

Sister, that caught Aiden by surprise. Much of the red-head’s family life was unknown.

“Arcelia,” like poison, the name dripped from Lucine’s ruby lips.

Target.

Aiden smiled as he got what he wanted. His hold over Lucine's mind failed and she snapped back to her witts. She could remember what she said, and her anger became nearly unhinged. Raising her lightsaber to strike the killing blow, the woman was surprised when Aiden’s shoto flew from within his sleeve and into his grasp. Defending himself with his newly activated amethyst blade, Aiden blocked Lucine’s deathblow and pushed her off of him. His right hand free once more, Aiden spun his saber hilts around, holding the two blades in a reverse grip.

“It isn’t fun having someone poke around inside your mind, is it?” he asked with a cheeky grin.

Lucine had had enough of his mind games. She was ready to dispense true justice. Holding her lightsaber in a protective stance, Lucine waited for Aiden to attack. Her defense would be the best course of action and she knew better than to engage him in a straight up fight. The time for subtlety was over. Even if she couldn’t kill him, she needed to leave with the information she received from him before he could interrupt her mission anymore.

“You’re surprisingly resilient, Lucine. I respect that about you,” Aiden spoke with an ease that really fired her up. She couldn't be swayed though. Not this time. She had a point to prove. “Ever the failure though. Perhaps Adaline would make for a better Arconan. Or maybe Arcelia?”

At the mention of those names, Lucine lost control. She rushed her opponent who waited for the right moment. As she swung her blade in a bulwark fashion, Aiden deflected with his shoto before swiping Midnight’s Calling in a dextrous sweep, cleaving the extravagant hilt in two and singeing Lucine’s hand. He then bashed the end of the shoto against her head, knocking her unconscious.

“As I said. No control. No balance,” Aiden sighed, his victory bittersweet.

Adept Mune Cinteroph, 12 May, 2019 12:43 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

I do love your writing style. You know just the right amount of detail to immerse your reader in the scene, without it becoming too much. The interaction here, the dialogue, all work to really make the scene. Your writing of Aiden’s use of the Force when working to get into Lucine’s mind was an absolutely fantastic example of your use of detail.

--

Things To Think About

Abrupt ending. Really the thing that I cannot help but say “abrupt ending.” I was on the edge of my seat, immersed in this absolutely incredible story then… done. A knock on the head and Lucine is down. I had to go back and read the last bit again as it caught me completely by surprise and kind of scratching my head wondering, why? (Other than being at the word cap, I mean.)

Lucine took advantage of his distraction and lashed out with one leg, tripping him. She leapt into a standing position and leveled her blade at his throat. “I told you it was unwise to start a fight here,” she said, giving him a sweet smile. “While I would love to remove that pompous head from your shoulders and leave your body for the authorities to find, I think I will instead exercise control.” She flipped the switch of her lightsaber and the plasma blade retracted into the hilt.

Aiden flicked his fingers in a beckoning motion, and the table behind Lucine launched toward her back. It connected solidly, drawing a cry of pain and surprise from the Sith as she dropped to the ground.

Both Sith and Force Disciple regained their feet, though Lucine was a bit slower. She glared at him, her annoyance clear on her face. “Really, darling? You still wish to do this?”

“The fight’s not over. You have no idea what control is,” Aiden replied as he reached out to touch the dark side of the Force. It responded to his call, seductive and powerful. He concentrated on her, willing the darkness to sever her link to the Force. “Maybe you’ll learn better this way.”

Lucine’s eyes widened as she felt her connection to the Force fade. It left her feeling exposed, weak and powerless. Her gaze snapped back to the Force Disciple, eyes narrowed with anger. “Still trying to teach me? As I recall, you declared me to be hopeless only a few minutes ago.”

“Atyiru seemed to think there is hope for you. But me? I don’t see it.” Aiden drew Twilight’s Return and the shoto blade flared to life. He fell into a fighting stance, brandishing his lightsabers.

“Well then, it is fortunate that I do not give a damn what you think,” Lucine replied coolly as she assumed a defensive posture.

Aiden grinned as he leapt forward, swinging his lightsaber in a wide arc. The Sith deflected the blow, but her ripost was knocked aside by Twilight’s Return. “Oh, but you should! You can barely control your emotions!” She deflected a quick strike aimed at her head. “You call upon the Dark Side whenever things get the slightest bit out of hand!” Lucine feinted to the left before trying a quick thrust from the right. Aiden blocked it easily, though she was barely able to avoid his riposte. “Can’t you see what danger you’re in?”

“I can see that clearly enough,” Lucine muttered in return as she tried to control her breathing. Even at the best of times, Aiden was the superior duelist. Without the ability to use the Force, she was outmatched.

The problem was that they both knew it. “What’s the matter, Vasano?” Aiden mocked. Lucine was obviously discomfited without her powers to fall back on, and that knowledge gave him a malicious joy. He knew it to be the seductive song of the Dark Side, but he also knew that his countless hours of training would protect him from it. “Are you feeling weak without the Force to fall back on?”

“You are the one who is showing weakness!” Lucine snapped as she regarded him warily. Aiden’s eyes had taken on a strange gleam, and his smile held an edge of malice. “Deshra, where is all that control you bragged out?”

“I am in control!” Aiden snarled, feeling his temper steadily build. He leapt forward, lashing out with Midnight’s Calling. The force of the blow sent the Sith stumbling back a few steps with a cry of shock.

Aiden waited as Lucine regained her balance. He could see the growing frustration and fear in her movements and facial expression. It was further proof that the woman was a slave to her emotions.

Lucine studied him carefully, noting that his grin was now a rictus of malice and his eyes burned with anger. She took a deep breath, before trying once more. “Deshra, listen to yourself! The power you are using is controlling you, not the other way around. Stop this immediately, before you do something you regret!”

The Balance Adherent glared at her, feeling his rage and battle-lust bubbling just below the surface. “It seems you are a slow learner,” he ground out. “It’s you, not me, who needs a lesson in control.”

Before she had a chance to respond, he darted forward, feinting low with Midnight’s Calling. Lucine brought her blade down to block, which left a crucial opening. He spun Twilight’s Return into a reverse grip and smashed the hilt against the woman’s temple. Before she could recover, he pushed his right hand out, calling on the Force to shove her. The invisible energy slammed into the redhead and she flew backward from the force of the blow, tumbling over the bar and landing with a heavy thud.

The dark energies of the Force coursed through him. That, combined with his Mandalorian training, made his next step clear. Those that were too stupid to learn deserved only death. With a shout of triumph, he leapt on top of the bar, his eyes locking on Lucine’s supine form. Without hesitation he drove the blade of Midnight’s Calling into her chest. Armor, flesh, muscle, bone and sinew provided little resistance to the plasma blade.

Lucine’s eyes widened as she looked first at Aiden’s face, then at the weapon protruding from her chest. Her breath rattled in her throat. After a few short seconds, the light in her eyes faded and her body went limp.

Aiden stared down at her, feeling the rush of victory and malignant glee abruptly leave him. It was replaced with horror at what he had done. His intention had been to follow Atyiru’s wishes to help guide Lucine, not this. He fell to his knees, staring in anguish at her corpse. Lifeless green eyes stared up at him, her face frozen in an expression of shock and fear.

He had lost control. He had failed.

Adept Mune Cinteroph, 12 May, 2019 12:44 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Absolutely amazing story through and through. Of note though, I want to highlight your fantastic use of Aspects, specifically bringing Aiden’s We All Have A Dark Side into play. It was a good choice, adding an exquisite splash of drama and fire to an already impressive fight.

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Things To Think About

Once again, I have nothing to really note here.