Lucine took advantage of his distraction and lashed out with one leg, tripping him. She leapt into a standing position and leveled her blade at his throat. “I told you it was unwise to start a fight here,” she said, giving him a sweet smile. “While I would love to remove that pompous head from your shoulders and leave your body for the authorities to find, I think I will instead exercise control.” She flipped the switch of her lightsaber and the plasma blade retracted into the hilt.
Aiden flicked his fingers in a beckoning motion, and the table behind Lucine launched toward her back. It connected solidly, drawing a cry of pain and surprise from the Sith as she dropped to the ground.
Both Sith and Force Disciple regained their feet, though Lucine was a bit slower. She glared at him, her annoyance clear on her face. “Really, darling? You still wish to do this?”
“The fight’s not over. You have no idea what control is,” Aiden replied as he reached out to touch the dark side of the Force. It responded to his call, seductive and powerful. He concentrated on her, willing the darkness to sever her link to the Force. “Maybe you’ll learn better this way.”
Lucine’s eyes widened as she felt her connection to the Force fade. It left her feeling exposed, weak and powerless. Her gaze snapped back to the Force Disciple, eyes narrowed with anger. “Still trying to teach me? As I recall, you declared me to be hopeless only a few minutes ago.”
“Atyiru seemed to think there is hope for you. But me? I don’t see it.” Aiden drew Twilight’s Return and the shoto blade flared to life. He fell into a fighting stance, brandishing his lightsabers.
“Well then, it is fortunate that I do not give a damn what you think,” Lucine replied coolly as she assumed a defensive posture.
Aiden grinned as he leapt forward, swinging his lightsaber in a wide arc. The Sith deflected the blow, but her ripost was knocked aside by Twilight’s Return. “Oh, but you should! You can barely control your emotions!” She deflected a quick strike aimed at her head. “You call upon the Dark Side whenever things get the slightest bit out of hand!” Lucine feinted to the left before trying a quick thrust from the right. Aiden blocked it easily, though she was barely able to avoid his riposte. “Can’t you see what danger you’re in?”
“I can see that clearly enough,” Lucine muttered in return as she tried to control her breathing. Even at the best of times, Aiden was the superior duelist. Without the ability to use the Force, she was outmatched.
The problem was that they both knew it. “What’s the matter, Vasano?” Aiden mocked. Lucine was obviously discomfited without her powers to fall back on, and that knowledge gave him a malicious joy. He knew it to be the seductive song of the Dark Side, but he also knew that his countless hours of training would protect him from it. “Are you feeling weak without the Force to fall back on?”
“You are the one who is showing weakness!” Lucine snapped as she regarded him warily. Aiden’s eyes had taken on a strange gleam, and his smile held an edge of malice. “Deshra, where is all that control you bragged out?”
“I am in control!” Aiden snarled, feeling his temper steadily build. He leapt forward, lashing out with Midnight’s Calling. The force of the blow sent the Sith stumbling back a few steps with a cry of shock.
Aiden waited as Lucine regained her balance. He could see the growing frustration and fear in her movements and facial expression. It was further proof that the woman was a slave to her emotions.
Lucine studied him carefully, noting that his grin was now a rictus of malice and his eyes burned with anger. She took a deep breath, before trying once more. “Deshra, listen to yourself! The power you are using is controlling you, not the other way around. Stop this immediately, before you do something you regret!”
The Balance Adherent glared at her, feeling his rage and battle-lust bubbling just below the surface. “It seems you are a slow learner,” he ground out. “It’s you, not me, who needs a lesson in control.”
Before she had a chance to respond, he darted forward, feinting low with Midnight’s Calling. Lucine brought her blade down to block, which left a crucial opening. He spun Twilight’s Return into a reverse grip and smashed the hilt against the woman’s temple. Before she could recover, he pushed his right hand out, calling on the Force to shove her. The invisible energy slammed into the redhead and she flew backward from the force of the blow, tumbling over the bar and landing with a heavy thud.
The dark energies of the Force coursed through him. That, combined with his Mandalorian training, made his next step clear. Those that were too stupid to learn deserved only death. With a shout of triumph, he leapt on top of the bar, his eyes locking on Lucine’s supine form. Without hesitation he drove the blade of Midnight’s Calling into her chest. Armor, flesh, muscle, bone and sinew provided little resistance to the plasma blade.
Lucine’s eyes widened as she looked first at Aiden’s face, then at the weapon protruding from her chest. Her breath rattled in her throat. After a few short seconds, the light in her eyes faded and her body went limp.
Aiden stared down at her, feeling the rush of victory and malignant glee abruptly leave him. It was replaced with horror at what he had done. His intention had been to follow Atyiru’s wishes to help guide Lucine, not this. He fell to his knees, staring in anguish at her corpse. Lifeless green eyes stared up at him, her face frozen in an expression of shock and fear.
He had lost control. He had failed.
Positive Takeaways
Absolutely fantastic opening post. Your way of setting the scene was wonderful, from Lucine’s walking through the crowds of working folk to her stepping into the bar; you draw your reader in and completely immerse them in the scene. From there you move into some great character interaction and do beautifully in making the reader see that these two actually have a prior history and what appears to be a not so good history at that. I lLove seeing a scene set up so well. Good work.
--
Things To Think About
I was worried you were going to run out of words before you got to some combat, but, you got it in there though not in abundance. I do like what you did with it, but, I do feel you could have sacrificed some of the build-ups to get that little bit more combat in there. A bigger eye catcher here was the use of Mind Trick by Lucine to clear the bar. She does have a high level in this skill, and a feat to affect more than one mind at a time. That noted, there is more than a few people in the bar that she is affecting with what seems to be little to no exertion, followed up nearly straight away by telekinesis and an illusion. Making use of the Force in such a manner should never be done so effortlessly.