"Ay, down below!"
Karran startled, but only slightly, as a rich, rolling voice addressed him from above his horned head. The Zabrak craned back his neck to spot a man's figure nearly at the very top of the tree he sat under, swaying steadily with the wind on a precariously thin limb. It took the Hunter's eyes a moment to track the man, but less because of any attempt at stealth whatsoever and more because his skin blended in so well with the dappled multitudes of verdant greenery.
As Karran watched, the alien man sprang up from his perch, launching high into the air — high above even the garden walls surrounding them — before backflipping at the peak of his arc and descending like a comet. He landed with a predatorial grace, feet connecting with the ground first before he rolled forward, dampening his impact, and then emerged in a crouch, fist planted as an anchor and off-hand thrown back to stabilize. It looked very practiced, likely a fine bit of combat maneuvering, but also very dramatic.
He straightened up from his pose, having landed directly in front of the Zabrak Journeyman, and gave a little two finger mock salute.
Remembering the earlier phrase that had first alerted him to the man and not wanting to be rude, even less so to an obviously fellow Force-trained, the horned man inclined his head.
"Hello?" he questioned. The green man nodded and smirked in a not unfriendly manner at him.
"You Karran Val'teo?"
"That is I," responded the greener — in a sense — Force-user, standing proudly from his seat amongst the roots where he'd been instructed to wait. The message from the Lady Tameike had been quite firm, and he hadn't felt like refusing a former and formidable Shadow Lord when they demanded his presence in the courtyard of the Citadel the Arconans all called home. He only hoped for more answers, maybe a mission to wet his blade; just not a waste of his time.
"Cool. Name's Ruka. Satsi was my coach. She sent me for you." His hand settled on the weapons belt on his hips, and Karran knew a sudden dread.
This is it, the Zabrak realized. She'd finally decided on retribution for his behavior the night they fought — and flirted — at the bar while their battleteam bonded. Nearly rupturing his spleen hadn't been enough? What was his insult? His weakness in losing to her and to their Sith Aedile? His inebriated enamoration? His failure along with the rest of the team to fully apprehend the Collective agents who had burned down her home? Whatever the reason, Satsi had sent her apparent apprentice — a second, as Sith should — to slay him.
Karran shifted in a swift, practiced motion, immediately igniting his lightsaber in a two-handed grip and posed for battle. He would not go from this world easily.
"Then come," challenged the Zabrak, nostrils flared and adrenaline pounding through the blood rushing in his eardrums. "We fight to the death like warriors. I will not be defeated."
Instead of the acceptance and charge he expected from this Ruka, though, all he got was an incredulous blink. Then, the Mirialan threw up his hands and covered his eyes. He made a sound between a strangled laugh and a great sigh.
"Ayy los diosez mni Bogan ey Ashla, every time! No!" Ruka shook his head vehemently, waving at Karran as he met his gaze again. It was a very...parental look, scolding, as if to say 'put that toy away and get your chores done, young man.' Karran didn't care for it. "Ay, ay, ay, none of that!" he clucked at the Zabrak. "We're not
fighting to the death. That's ridiculous and... Uh, what's that word Cor always used...? Ah! Barbaric. I just like to say stupid sithspit, but well, he's better at words stuff. Point is, we're not here to fight, you ass! Okay, well, yeah, but for like, training. Not some kriff about murdering you."
"...Ah," the Journeyman said, relaxing his muscles slightly and shifting back his feet. He lowered his armory saber. "I misunderstood."
"Ya think? Bogan! You're lucky I don't throw my boot at you like my boys. Act like children, the lot of you."
"I'm no child," the Zabrak growled, both certain of that fact in blood and sweat from his difficult years, and also certain that Ruka was surely no older than him. Yet he had 'boys' and judged so liberally?
"If the shoe fits," Ruka responded, looking more and more like he wanted to make good on his word and remove his footwear as a projectile. "Ugh, whatever. Let's start over, here. I'm Ruka, and Satsi asked me if I'd come spar with you while I was visiting. Not to the death. Just a duel. For training."
Ruka stepped forward and offered a black-nailed hand, and the Zabrak considered before reaching out to clasp it. He could forgive the situation. He had assumed, after all. And, any fight was a good fight to him. Especially, he thought, one from an apprentice of Satsi's!
Karran's eyes roamed over the slightly shorter and slimmer Mirialan as he sized him up. His bare forearms and face showed a plethora of scarring, and his muscled, wide-shouldered build suggested strength, his stance ease with experience. He had not only a lightsaber on his belt but several sheathed bladed weapons that looked of great value and esteem. Perhaps he was a worthy foe.
"Very well, then. Let us fight!"
"Duel," Ruka stressed, frown forming. "We aren't fighting, man."
"You sound so distasteful," observed the Zabrak in surprise as the other man walked away from the tree and found what he seemingly deemed a good sparring spot. The Mirialan stripped off his shirt, revealing more scars and expansive tattoos and rigid musculature. Clearly, a fighter. Who didn't enjoy fighting? What strange people Karran had found himself with!
"I sure as hell am. Dueling is fun. Fighting is kriffing awful. And killing," his face took on a grave shadow, "is even worse. The worst of all. I'm not going to be killing you or anyone else anytime soon."
Karran gawked at him.
"But you're— Satsi's apprentice?"
"Yeah, and? I'm pretty sure I was me before I met her, thanks."
"But... And a Sith? Those colors on your clothes..." They were black, gray, and dark blood red, common to those of the Sith Order in Brotherhood. He'd felt the Dark Side stir around the Mirialan when he leapt from the tree.
"'No chains on me,'" Ruka paraphrased carelessly, stopping to actually set his garment aside with care before he started to stretch; basic katas of the Banlanth Form Karran was himself mastering. The movement of one arm caught Karran's eye, as did the design on it. He was sure he'd seen it while studying in the Clan archives and in the reports his master, Qyriea, had him read.
"And you're... One of the Jedi flowers?" The Zabrak's skepticism couldn't grow any worse, surely.
Ruka met his eyes proudly, a glint of corrupt gold flashing in their violet.
"It's the Lotus," he corrected. "And it's not just the Jedi. The Jedi don't stand alone. Nobody does. That's what the Lotus means. Light, Dark, none, whatever."
"You are insane," surmised Karran. "And certainly no Sith. You hold nothing of our values. Our power!"
"Oh, yeah?" He got a sharp glare from Ruka as the very much not-a-Sith settled into a fighting stance. His emerald body twisted partially to the side, lightsaber hilt raised above his head in a guard, knees bent in a crouch. He looked like some beast poised with its claws to pounce. A spear of brilliant sapphire flame erupted from the emitter, humming a high keen, a warning growl. "Try me."
Karran shook his head in disbelief, but was more than happy for the challenge; and to show he was right. He slid into his own prepared defensive stance, careful and grounded as he was being schooled to wield a saber, but also not without hints of his own heritage. The twist of his torso and lightness on the balls of his feet was more inspired by K'thri combat dancing than any bit of Banlath's planted precision.
"Prove your skills then, the only worthy way," invited the Zabrak, and then stepped forward to raise both arms for a slash.
He had hardly begun to move, however, before Ruka was already surging forward, hard and fast. The apprentice tried to abort his attack but couldn't stop, stumbling. That blue blade slammed swiftly into his and nearly knocked it from Karran's grasp, throwing him off balance with the sudden invasion of his space. The Zabrak felt himself falling and rolled into it as if somersaulting into another K'thri pattern, hitting the ground hard and scraping his bald head on stray rocks. He came back up in a crouch and was knocked flat on his rear when the Mirialan swooped in on him, still so there, unrelenting in his strikes that battered at Karran's blade like storm winds against a flimsy sapling.
Desperate to get his footing back under him, the Zabrak concentrated briefly, manifesting his will for battle — for a back and forth and not this pitiful beating — into existence. Ruka's blade rebounded off the sudden barrier, carrying his arm and shoulder back with the momentum of his reflected strike and leaving him open. The Journeyman seized his chance, throwing his empty palm flat to the earth behind him and thrusting his legs upright with a roll of his hips and abdomen. His two-footed kick punched square into his opponent's gut, shoving him away with an explosive exhale of all the air in his lungs.
Karran twisted and bolted upright, offering Ruka his back for only a scant heartbeat as he put a more respectable distance between them. Once he turned around, saber raised again and more firmly planted this time in his footing, he saw the wheezing Equite returning to his own feet.
"Not bad," Ruka offered before darting in again with no reprieve.
The Zabrak, ready this time, swung at him to cut hip to collar, but the Mirialan only blocked and parried his telegraphed slash. Karran's footwork flew as he danced backwards, perfectly happy to give ground and parry when he had to rather than try to block the sheer number of rapid, chained strikes his opponent made. They both breathed hard, sweating under the merciless summer sun, brows beaded with moisture as he struck out with a deliberate riposte and Ruka slithered away to kick off anything nearby — small boulders, benches, the fountain — and lend his leaping attacks more force.
At one point, their lightsabers locked, and Karran debated risking sticking his neck over the cross just to headbutt the other man. Instead, he channeled the Force into his arms and shoved, intent on forcing Ruka back. The other Sith was braced, however, and neither gave ground, not an inch.
They were smiling at each other, Karran realized. Lips peeled back and teeth bared, hard smiles that ate up their faces along with their brows furrowed in effort, skin flushed with exertion.
"You're good," Karran gasped past the sound of humming, contained plasma, and Ruka grinned wider.
"You're going to be really good," replied the Battlemaster to the Hunter. "If you don't get cocky."
Then he took one hand off his blade and released a flash of lightning from his fingertips. The claws of violet light aimed right past the Zabrak's head, making him flinch away, and the moment their blades disengaged, Ruka vaulted backwards in an amplified jump that carried him across the field of green they sparred in. Karran barely caught himself before he kissed the dirt, his senses still shrieking alarms at him belatedly. He blinked once and narrowed his eyes at the Mirialan who waited for him several meters away.
Teeth grit, the Zabrak threw back his arm and snapped it forward, flinging his lightsaber from his grasp with mind and body. His will in the Force guided it in a deadly curve that Ruka dodged around, and Karran stuck out his hand in preparation for the hilt to return to his grip—
Until it redirected in midair by an opposing invisible force, flying into Ruka's waiting hand instead. The Mirialan caught it and held both glowing sabers aloft for a moment, staring at Karran challengingly.
"Try again," he called, tone halfway between stern and goading, and then uncurled his fingers from around both weapons and sent the humming pinwheels of plasma spinning at Karran through the air.
Positive Takeaways
Your prose is great, as always. It’s consistently a pleasure to read your work, and there's always something very pleasing about your particular style. The characters have style and personality, and you manage to evoke a sense of genuine naturalness into the story. Nothing really feels forced or rushed, and the story flows naturally.
Can Be Improved
A few small syntax mistakes, but otherwise very well done
The pacing in this first post could have been managed much better. For what manages to happen in this scene, there are about 1000 words too many. The prose is unnecessarily verbose in a lot of places, with the characters barely managing to introduce themselves in the first 500 words of the match. They then spend the next thousand words hanging about, discussing philosophy and flowers before the fighting actually starts, 1500 words in. The post is simply big, slow, and unwieldy. I lost my suspense right around when the alien started speaking spanish.
Secondly, as I’ve mentioned before in the ACC, I don't find the “friendly spar” premise particularly compelling on any level. As a premise for an ACC match it is eminently uninteresting to read, as much as it might evoke some clever and light-hearted character interaction, that could have been done without them needing to fight at all. The fight feels secondary to the story, even in the way of the story, instead of central to it like an ACC match should be.
Lastly, regarding the fight, I felt the battle was perhaps a bit too one-sided in Ruka’s favor in this early stage. While he is indeed much faster than Karran athletically and trained in an advanced lightsaber form, his combat advantages end there. The idea that he, as a weaker man, could nearly blow Karran’s blade out of his hand with a single strike was a bit odd to me. This doesn’t grow to the level of realism error, but the story did feel a bit off placing Ruak into a superior mentor-role when he’s much closer to Karran’s equal in terms of ability.