Knight Alaisy Tir’eivra vs. Hunter Karran Val'teo

Knight Alaisy Tir’eivra

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Seeker
vs.

Hunter Karran Val'teo

Journeyman 3, Journeyman tier, Clan Arcona
Male Zabrak, Sith, Juggernaut
Comment

My sincere apologies to you both for how long it's taken to get this match judged.

It always makes me happy to see new blood in the ACC, so I'm delighted that Karran's sticking with us and Alaisy is getting her feet wet. Perhaps ironically for two newer members, this was a very old school match: two Sith beating the hell out of each other without much in the way of exposition. It was a fun read.

One suggestion I have for you both hinges on this line in the rubric, regarding Story: "Generally, significant context is provided explaining the characters' motivations and purpose for being in the venue. The description of the fighting itself will also be varied. The features of the environment are highlighted in the descriptions and matter for the story."

I think you both gave me varied combat and excellent use of the venue, but motivations were pretty sparse. Usually this is on the first poster, but in situations where they don't address your character's plans, it's fine to speak to it in a middle post. If you can bring that level of attention to character to your writing without sacrificing the strong action we saw here, you'll both be well positioned in future matches.

And, as always, get a proofer. Get two. Get five. More eyes, more better.

As for this match, it was close—within a tenth of a point, in fact. Alaisy had more polish on Syntax, Karran on Realism, but in the end it came down to advantage in Story. Here, Alaisy squeaked out a lead due to a greater variety in language and description. Thus Alaisy Tir'eivra is the winner.

I hope to see many more matches from the both of you.

Archenksov
Combat Master

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Knight Alaisy Tir’eivra, Hunter Karran Val'teo
Winner Knight Alaisy Tir’eivra
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Knight Alaisy Tir’eivra's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Hunter Karran Val'teo's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Malachor: Sith Temple Ruins
Last Post 28 June, 2019 4:18 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Battlemaster Karran Val'teo
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Scattered minor issues. Rationale: Your second post was much better, but your first has a bunch of issues with punctuating dialogue and complete sentences, and a couple of typos that took me a second to puzzle you. I didn’t itemize them all in the post comments, but you can take a look [here](https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GWfzf5Lz909k16rCUYwugucVQ-kjhY1yo7qHp1DR8vM/edit?usp=sharing) if you want more detail.
Story - 40%
Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Battlemaster Karran Val'teo
Score: 4 (Advantage) Score: 4
Rationale: Great actions and use of the environment, as well as Alaisy's droid, but you missed the opportunity to flesh out the context for the encounter. Rationale: Strong combat writing, which is great, but I'd like to see character motivations and personalities come through more strongly.
Realism - 25%
Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Battlemaster Karran Val'teo
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: See the match comments regarding +2 and +3 Force powers. Rationale: No issues that jumped out at me.
Continuity - 20%
Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra Battlemaster Karran Val'teo
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues. Rationale: No issues.
Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra's Score: 4.4 Battlemaster Karran Val'teo's Score: 4.3
Posts

Malachor Sith Temple Ruins

From space, Malachor seems no more than a lifeless ball of ash. In the center of an open crater, however, lies the ancient Sith Temple. This colossal pyramid of black stone is the relic of a disastrous battle between the forces of darkness and light thousands of years ago.

Though the surface of Malachor has a breathable atmosphere, the air is dead still, and there is no sign of life. The caldera housing the Temple is a tableau of the terrible struggle that took place here so many millennia ago. Scattered through the causeways and crumbling boulders are the petrified figures of the foregone combatants, their hands raised eternally against whatever cataclysm took the life from their bodies. Some still grasp their Jedi weapons, though most likely the life is gone from them too. The pallid white light of the sun spreads unhindered through the crater, but it does little to illumine the intrinsic darkness of the stones.

The Sith Temple is not a place of the light side. It is said the very stones react to the touch of the dark side. The pyramid itself is seemingly inaccessible, though its blocked entrance is associated with an old saying: “Two must lift these stones, no more, no less.” Despite its undeniable age, the crater is littered with signs of a more recent calamity; ash and debris, columns toppled outwards from the Temple, broken arches. It is as though the millennial dust stirred, briefly, then returned to its repose under the sun.

A small shuttle circled down out of the sky, coming to a landing near the towering pyramid. The exit ramp slowly descended to reveal a broad-shouldered Zabrak, clad in dark robes, which flowed around him as he proceeded down to the ashy ground. Karran Val'teo stopped to smell the air as the shuttle took off. It smelled of death, and the Dark Side could be felt in every speck of dirt here. The Sith walked towards the temple, striding confidently, each step kicked up a small cloud of dust, leaving a trail in the air just above the ground, before it settled back down to the ground, footprints being the only trace that this planet had ever seen any life. He stopped at the base of the pyramid, and looked up at it. What was he here for? He was no historian, nor was he a treasure hunter, but he had been sent here to look for relics... officially. Unofficially, there were rumors that a fellow Arconan was also here, and the leadership of House Galeres wanted him to stop her and take anything she had found for themselves.

"Hello Galerian." Karran heard the voice from behind him, whipping around to see who it was. He saw a figure, clad in skintight, shiny black, crouching on top of one of the larger boulders in the crater, with one leg stretched out to the side, "I take it you're here for the same reason I am." The figure slowly rose to full height. Looking down from her position on top of the vessel.

"More or less. I am mostly looking for you though." the Zabrak slowly removed his lightsaber from his belt, "I take it you are Alaisy."

"I might be. Depends on who is asking." she shifted back and forth on h, her hands moving to the weapons on her hips.

"My name is Karran Val'teo, and I am here to claim what you have found for House Galeres." the crimson blade ignited from the hilt in his grip, and he brought it to a two-handed grip in front of him.

"Come and take it then," the black clad figure called back from her elevated position as she drew her whip and saber, igniting her own red blade.

The Zabrak took a running start before making an amplified jump up the boulder, striking with his saber as he came down. Alaisy jumped back, dropping from her perch down to the ground, dodging Karran’s aggressive opening strike. The Zabrak’s powerful strike cut a deep gouge into the stone where the woman had been a mere moment before. When he realized what had happened, he stood, looking down to the human as her right hand lashed forward, her whip curling out towards him and striking his left thigh, sending a quick surge of electricity through his body. Karran recoiled from the strike feeling his leg go numb and shaky. He brought it back instinctively to protect it from another strike. The Hunter jumped down to put himself on equal ground with the black clad woman. As he landed, he favored his leg once more, but feeling was beginning to return to it again. But only now did he have a chance to properly size up his opponent. She was tall, towering over him by at least a foot. Then he noticed her footwear, how did she fight wearing ten inch platform heels? No time to worry about that now, she was clearly a competent opponent and he would have to find a way to get inside the range of her whip without getting hit again.

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 15 July, 2019 11:02 AM UTC

What Worked Well

Then he noticed her footwear, how did she fight wearing ten inch platform heels?

Don’t kink-shame, bro.

You did a wonderful job setting the scene here. One of the comments Wally and I had for the recent championship match is that it’s good to try to address all the senses when you set the scene, and I think your attention to the air and dust paid off.

Speaking from experience, it’s hard to fit exposition, banter, and a good action sequence into 600 words. You made it work by not going off on tangents and set both characters off to a strong start.

Room for Growth

The premise here wasn’t bad, but it’s something we see pretty frequently: dark forces order you to go here, beat up the person, and take their thing. There’s nothing wrong with that, and you used it as a springboard for a lot of action, but as you get more comfortable writing Karran and with the ACC I’d like to see you experiment a little with your premises.

There were several minor typos and punctuation issues. I think this is probably the best resource I’ve seen for dealing with the rules for dialogue. However, the main thing is just to get someone really good with syntax to look over your work before posting. More on that in the match comments.

The sharp, rocky ground Alaisy landed on was covered in ashen dust that was still floating down. Apart from a few crumbling rocks, the Sith temple grounds were eerily quiet. She took a good gander at the spike-headed and muscled Zabrak, determined that she wouldn’t let him get that close again.

The Qel-Droman woman gazed from left to right through her domed visor. A small ruin with a crumbling arch was situated on her right. To her left, there were dreary walls of jagged rock forming a caldera with several crevices letting through the bright white Malachor sunlight.

The tall woman cycled her mask’s view-filter to thermal spectrum, called her BT-16 droid in and clipped her lightsaber back to her belt in order to free up her left hand.

This left the Qel-Droman with just her whip and her wits, which she was more than happy to utilize. Her whip, Persuasion, started to swirl around the woman’s slender body as if she were a ribbon dancer. The motion stirred up a cloud of fine, dry dust particles around her.

Unwilling to wait and see what the Qel-Droman was planning, Karran gripped his hilt tightly and rushed straight for the swirling ash. He would evade that blasted whip this time. Skill and his drive for victory would see him through.

From behind the curtain of dust, Val’teo’s brown eyes noticed a grappling line shoot through and towards the arch on his left. Alaisy’s tall figure emerged out of the spinning soot. Karran made for the structure, augmenting his speed with the Force. As he did, her form faded away just as he arrived.

Then it dawned to him. There was no trail of ash behind her. Alarmed, he noticed a barrage of blaster bolts coming his way from the corner of his left eye. Alaisy’s spider-droid had started firing its repeating blaster at the Zabrak, wrecking the archway he was using for cover.

The structure gave Karran just enough time to conjure up a barrier that not only absorbed the incoming shots but also deflected the crumbling rocks instead of letting them bury him. The Galerian turned his head towards the settling dust cloud while keeping his barrier up. The blackened visor of the Qel-Droman woman stared right back at him, seemingly with her weapons holstered away.

“Now, let’s see what darkness is stored inside that horned skull of yours!” A metallic, grungy voice echoed above the blaster fire.

Val’teo could feel the cursed woman encroaching upon his mind and tried to fight off the attempt with his entire will. “Enough with these games! Fight me!” He yelled.

Karran had to maintain his barrier as long as the droid was firing at him. He knew he couldn’t let his guard down and expose himself to whatever tricks Alaisy would play on his mind.

The arachnoid droid ceased fire as its gun overheated. Karran turned his head towards it, dropping his barrier. He hurled his lightsaber towards the droid, guiding its path with his right hand extended through the Force.

Just before the gyrating saber would have sundered the spider-like construct, its image shifted to that of the unmistakable form of his new master, Satsi Tameike. The saber’s smooth trajectory was interrupted by the illusion, causing it to wobble and forcing the Zabrak to recall it to his hand.

A sudden nudge from the Force shook Karran back to his senses. On reflex, he enhanced his speed and barely managed to jump and turn his body away from an impact grenade detonating mere inches from his feet. Pieces of metal and debris shredded into his flesh and robes as he somersaulted away from the core of the blast.

Karran landed in a crouch, gritting his teeth. The dual-hearted Zabrak pressed through the pain with steadfast persistence so he could fight the Qel-Droman on his own terms. He used his determination to charge at the tall woman before she could create any more space between them.

Alaisy sensed a moment of dread as the Galerian came sprinting full force at her. A little voice in her head warned her just in the nick of time to ready her lightsaber, Conviction.

The black clad woman attempted to use her schooling in Sokan to reduce the impact of Karrans slow but deliberate two-handed Banlanth attacks.

However, the vicious crash of his saber against her own blade sent quivers through her arms. The next violent swing forced Alaisy into retreat. She was unable to parry his overpowering strikes without immensely straining her left wrist.

The Galerian attempted to force her into one of the tight fissures between the tall black caldera walls. Catching those heavy swings was not an option, so the Qel-Droman did her best to dodge the swings.

Despite his scrapes and torn robes, Karran showed no sign of stopping. He was quicker, stronger and finally in his element. Aside from the mental strain caused by manipulating the Zabraks senses, the physical exhaustion started to kick in too. Her shoulders were slumping and she was barely able to hold Conviction upright. Her right hand tapped on the shield generator as she withdrew into a crack between the obsidian stone.

Feeling trapped, Alaisy debated the merits of a vertical escape with her Jet Thrusters as her peripheral vision noticed no obstruction above. With her limited training, however, that was going to be a risky stunt. Just in case, she tapped her belt pocket beforehand to check if the artifact was still secure.

Meanwhile Alaisy’s T-16 droid was encroaching from behind as well, with its weapon renewed.

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 15 July, 2019 11:03 AM UTC

What Worked Well

This really doesn’t feel like a first-ever ACC post. You paid very close attention to your opponent’s character sheet and loadout as well as your own, you wrote both the combat and the exposition beautifully, and there were little details like this nod to the difference in Might between the two combatants:

However, the vicious crash of his saber against her own blade sent quivers through her arms. The next violent swing forced Alaisy into retreat. She was unable to parry his overpowering strikes without immensely straining her left wrist.

And if I didn’t already know it, I would never have predicted this was written by a non-native English speaker.

Room for Growth

You pushed the limits on Karran’s Force powers a bit. Generally speaking, +3 is the level where a user can let something rip instantaneously mid-combat. That doesn’t mean Karran can’t throw his saber, but just keep in mind that at +2 it’ll require a couple of seconds of build-up. I think the exchange with the droid-illusion worked fine; however, at +1 Karran’s Precognition just doesn’t give him enough warning to get outside the blast radius of a grenade.

Although your syntax was very clean overall, there were a few little errors that slipped through, such as:

The black clad woman attempted to use her schooling in Sokan to reduce the impact of Karran[’]s slow but deliberate two-handed Banlanth attacks.

Karran continued his assault, pushing the Qel Droman further into the crevice, each miss carving a gouge out of the stone, scattering fragments of superheated rock. The Zabrak gritted his teeth and pushed forward, determined to strike down his opponent. “Stop retreating and either give up or stand and fight!”

Alaisy continued to dodge Val’teo’s aggressive strikes. She was nimble, but she had her limits, and she was quickly running out of options. Finally, the fissure opened up and widened. She swiveled her head around, reevaluating her options. Maybe she had enough room to safely make a vertical escape. “Love to, dear, but I’ve got a flight to catch.” She shot up through the air, landing at the top of the fissure, looking down at the confused Zabrak. She waved before turning and running.

“No, not like this.” Karran jumped, amplifying the strength in his legs, towards the ledge, catching it with his hands. The sharp stone cut into his hands, but he pulled himself up and began running after the female Sith. He breathed deeply, pushing himself harder to catch up. Both of his hearts pounded in his chest, pumping blood faster and faster. Bit by bit, he gained on her. The two Sith jumped and vaulted over fissures in the stone. Finally, Karran threw his lightsaber ahead of him, intending to take his prey’s legs.

As the Zabrak’s saber spun towards her, the black-clad woman sensed the approaching danger and jumped to the side, the blade cutting and gouging the rock in front of her, sending sparks flying, before returning to his outstretched hand. As she landed, a piece of stone shifted under her foot, causing her to fall. Her momentum carried her forward, rolling her along the ground, stopping just short of another fissure. Jagged pieces of rock jabbed into her arms, back, and sides. Fortunately for her, her clothing held up and didn't tear, preventing any real damage to her, but she still felt the force of the impact. As she lay on the ground, she heard the heavy footsteps of her foe. She rolled over to face Val’teo, her heavy breaths audible through her voice modulator. She activated Conviction and held it out towards him, keeping him at bay, the crimson blade casting an eerie red light over the horned Sith in the overcast gloom of Malachor.

Karran looked down at his enemy and the saber she held in her hand. “I have no desire to kill you, Qel Droman. Hand over the artifact.” He extended his left hand, palm up. His gaze hard and serious.

The human looked up from the ground. “No desire to kill me? Well, that makes me feel a little bad about this.” She straightened her wrist as a dart shot out from the vambrace on her wrist, an easy shot on a broad target at short range. The projectile stuck itself into the Zabrak’s chest, depositing its hallucinogenic payload.

Val’teo looked to the dart, then back to Alaisy, confused for a moment before he felt the psychoactive substance attempt to take hold. His vision went blurry and wavered for a moment, then passed. “A noble last ditch effort. But not enough.” He turned his hand and reached out with his mind, gripping his target's throat and squeezing lightly, putting pressure on her windpipe. “I will ask nicely again. Hand over the artifact.”

The choking Sith woman looked at Karran, then past him as she saw a metallic, arachnoid figure approaching quickly. She smiled from behind her visor. “I suppose I don't have much choice.” she managed, the modulator hiding both her strangled rasp and the hint of amusement in her voice. The BT-16 droid braced itself before releasing a barrage of blaster bolts towards the Zabrak.

As Karran heard the bolts begin firing towards him, he ducked to the side, narrowly dodging them. Luckily for him, the opening shots were aimed wide, but they got closer and burned holes through his cloak as he rolled to the side. He summoned up a barrier once more, protecting him for the moment, but it wouldn't last long.

With Karran's concentration broken and the telekinetic grip on her throat released, Alaisy stood up. She observed for a moment how her opponent held his ground against the barrage of fire from her droid. Now was her chance; she approached him slowly before raising her blade above her head, intent to stab it down through her rival's back.

Karran caught Alaisy’s movement in his periphery. The Zabrak felt his two hearts jump in his chest as he thought about what to do. He watched her approach him and as she brought her blade up, he rolled to the side, dropping his shield. The droid continued firing where he had been for a moment, until it noticed that he had darted away. The machine adjusted itself, trying to find it’s target once again. When he came to a stop he reached out towards the droid, concentrating, and sending a wave of force towards it, sending it skittering and bouncing along the jagged rock. The Zabrak returned his attention to the woman before charging at her as she stood. He drove his shoulder into her stomach, trying to push through her, and carrying them both over the ledge.

They fell. Ten feet seemed to stretch into a mile before they landed on the soft, ashy ground, sending a massive cloud of dust into the air from their combined mass. Karran stood up. He looked down at Alaisy. He feared for a moment that he had killed her. Until she took a deep breath, the sound distorted through her mask, and coughed. Karran knelt down and picked up her saber where it had landed a few feet away. He returned to her and stood next to her prone body. “The artifact. Now.”

Alaisy groaned and rummaged through her belt, pulled out a small bundle, wrapped in ancient cloth, and held it out. The male Sith knelt down and took it from her. “Are you alright?” he asked. Even through her visor, her confusion was apparent. Was she alright? What kind of question was this for a Sith to ask?

“Are you alright?” Karran asked again. He looked over her body, looking for any broken bones or limbs twisted at odd angles. Finding none, he sat down in the ash and leaned against the obsidian wall.

“I'll...live,” she managed to get out. As her breath returned to her, Alaisy sat up. “You are an odd one, Karran Val’teo.”

“Indeed,” a smirk cracked his face, “but were I not, I would have killed you as you lay on the ground.” The softness returned to his eyes as he breathed deeply, coughing as some ash went into his lungs.

“I suppose so.” She issued a command to BT-16, calling it off of the attack.

“You are Arconan. That buys you your life.” The Zabrak stood once more, dusting the grey ash off of himself, and spoke into his comlink, “I'm ready. Pick me up where you left me,” before making another amplified jump up to the ledge he had just recently fallen from, and walking past the droid. It watched him, looking as puzzled as a droid could as he walked back to his rendezvous point.

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 15 July, 2019 11:03 AM UTC

What Went Well

This was definitely the stronger of your two posts, and I think you really hit your stride. The first several paragraphs did a great job building the tension, and you balanced the fatigue Karran was starting to feel with his adrenaline and determination to win. I thini you had a strong sense of physicality in this post, with a lot of attention paid to the various impacts in frantic combat: stone cutting into Karran’s hands, the saber against rock, Alaisy’s fall, Karran’s pounding footsteps.

I also enjoy Karran’s reaction to getting shot in the chest with a dart, almost a ‘Did you really just do that?’ reaction.

Room for Growth

The syntax was much cleaner on this post, though there were punctuation errors here and there:

He extended his left hand, palm up[, h]is gaze hard and serious.

“I suppose I don't have much choice[,]” she managed...

As he was about to make a powerful swing at the woman, Karran noticed fire spewing out of Alaisy’s heeled boots, lifting her tall body upwards in a violent burst. A thick cloud of smoke and ash covered the Zabrak in the propulsion’s wake. The Galerian growled as he peered upwards through the shroud of smog. He hurled his saber after the woman, commanding it with the Force and intending to strike her down mid-air before she could get away.

The Qel-Droman deactivated her saber and clipped it to her belt as she rocketed up with the Zabrak’s weapon in hot pursuit.

Thin mechanical legs tapped on the ash-laden ground from behind the Galerian. His senses warned him of imminent danger moments before Alaisy’s BT-16 droid opened fire on the Zabrak.

The incoming blaster bolts forced Karran to focus on putting up a barrier once again. This pulled his concentration away from his whirling lightsaber, causing it to end its chase and tumble down to the ground out of sight before it promptly disengaged.

Alaisy soared upwards along the sharp, ebony lava rock, attempting to keep her feet together in order to reach above the walls. Unaware that Karran’s saber was no longer behind her, she chafed along the sharp edges that scraped her face-mask, suit and under layering. The jagged rock cut into the flesh of her left shoulder.

She groaned in pain, gritting her teeth while doing her best to keep her vision set on finding the peak of the tall caldera wall. It became much more difficult to see anything through the now heavily scratched visor and flickering infrared filter.

Her high velocity caused her to pass by the top of the wall, pressuring Alaisy to shoot her grappling hook towards its surface. The Force must have favored her as the hook latched onto a jutting piece of rock, causing the cable to extend further as she gained height. Her Jet thrusters faltered and shut down as they ran out of fuel. Despite holding the wire with both hands, the impact caused by the cable reaching its maximum length violently yanked at the muscles in her arms. She managed to hang on as her legs flew up in the air and her vambrace retracted the cable to pull her towards the small plateau.

Below, and stuck yet again, having to protect himself from that antagonizing droid, Karran bellowed at the Qel-Droman. “Come down here you coward! I’m going to smash that droid into a million pieces any moment now!”

The echoing gulch between the black wall bolstered his voice over the deluge of repeating projectiles. As Alaisy reeled herself in, she realised he would indeed wait for her down there when her droid’s weapon overheated once more. She took off her broken headgear pulled one of its straps around her belt to secure it.

The Qel-Droman then took a thermal detonator from her girdle and set the timer of it to 15 seconds before dropping it down to where she heard the shooting coming from.

BT-16’s weapon began to glow as its metal heated up. Despite his injuries, Karran remained firmly in place. He let out a sigh as he surveyed the dark gray landscape for a sign of his similarly colored lightsaber hilt. A metal ringing broke his train of thought as he glared upwards. A thermal detonator came rolling down the cleft of charcoal rock. Concurrently, the hissing sound of a weapon desperately trying to dissipate heat filled his ears.

Karran bet that the stream of bolts was about to cease, so he focused his will on the metal object instead. Just as he expected, the volley came to an end. His barrier dropped as he gave the thermal detonator a mental push with the Force and his outstretched hand. The grenade dinged against the wall back in the direction it had come from, as the Zabrak willed it up further.

The Sith woman watched and counted down the seconds.

Five, four, three, two, oneee.

As the countdown expired, the grenade reached its peak just beneath the plateau Alaisy was situated on. An orange ball of flame exploded out from the thermal detonator, taking out chunks of ancient stone.

With no other suitable areas on either side to jump to, Alaisy slid off downwards with the falling rubble.

She hoped the still-attached cable would save her from the fall, but the strain on the cable caused it to snap and join the rest of the obsidian rubble.

Survival instincts kicking in, Alaisy pulled out Persuasion and aimed the whip for a beam just below her. The corded weapon wrapped around the column, giving her just enough time to loop the base of it around her right wrist, breaking her fall as she held on with all her strength.

Karran turned his head towards the droid and with enhanced speed and strength bashed the droid in with a nearby slab of rock.

The Qel-Droman swung from left to right, intent to dodge the crumbling gravel still pouring down. That was until one of the larger boulders came straight down and struck the beam in the middle, causing it to break apart and sent her tumbling down again.

As the Qel-Droman plummeted down, she enhanced her agility with the Force. Alaisy kept her wrists, elbows and knees bent as she was about to land feet-first.

During the impact she kept her feet and legs tightly together so that both hit the ground at the same time.

The platforms of her boots took the brunt of the shock and caused her legs to tremble as a jolt of discomfort coursed through her muscles. While she had avoided face-planting spectacularly, the feeling of exhaustion and pumping adrenalin took its toll.

As the Zabrak looked behind him he saw the black clad woman wounded, without her face covered and coated in soot.

The Qel-Droman left Conviction clipped onto her belt and looked towards the Galerian. She wiped the pitch-black dirt off her face with her gloved hand and gave Karran a wicked smile.

“You called? She said with a judgmental aristocratic tone to her voice. Alaisy ran the bundled metal wires of Persuasion between her fingers as she side-stepped to avoid more crumbling debris. Alaisy struck her whip at the ground displaying her advantage.

“You’re going to attack me when I’m unarmed now?” Karran said with spite. “Fine. I will show you how a real warrior fights!”

With full confidence he moved away from the remains of Alaisy’s pesky droid and towards the abnormally tall woman. He clenched his fist and rubbed it into his palm as he got closer, then stopped at where he guessed the reach of her whip would end. He stretched out both arms and focused his will on the pieces of razor-edged rock, lifting them up with the Force, intent on sending a swarm of sediment her way.

Alaisy noticed the incoming rocks and pressed on her left wrist vambrace to activate her shield emitter. Her aching shoulder made it difficult for her to bounce the gravel off with her energy screen. The black-clad woman seemed short-winded as she sluggishly attempted to maneuver around the edged rocks flung at her. Some managed to hit her legs and cut through the top layer of her suit. One of them barely missed her right eye as it created a gash on her cheek.

As the shield dropped she painfully extended her left arm, drawing a bead on the Zabrak as she aimed to fire off a volley of blaster bolts from her wrist cannon.

Val’teo moved swiftly from left to right towards the Qel-Droman, trying to avoid the shots. One of the blasts scraped by his stomach area, but that did little to prevent the Galerian from advancing.

As Karran neared, the Sith woman lashed out with Persuasion and coiled it around the same leg she caught earlier on in the fight. The Zabrak shrieked as Alaisy let the electric current run through the whip’s metal coil. He managed to push through the pain for another meter before falling to the ashen floor, his body trembling.

“Hurts, doesn’t it? Even dual-hearted fighters such as yourself feel pain, right?” Alaisy sneered mockingly as she relieved the button for but a moment. She pulled the whip back and swung it again and again, releasing one shock-stream after another over his back, until he was no longer able to move. “I would let darkness claim you, but in order to keep your master off my back, you have to live, so we can keep this between ourselves, yes?”

Alaisy unclipped Conviction, walked over to Karran and pressed the activation switch, creating a crimson glow over the Zabrak.

She pushed the saber into the back of his thigh, letting the contained plasma press gently into the back of his rough skin. The Zabrak felt the burning sensation of her saber sinking into the muscle and tendons of his hamstring through the numbness from the shock. He groaned in agony as he laid on the ashen floor unable to get back up.

“That should keep you grounded. Expect someone to find you here when I’m gone, Galerian.”

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 15 July, 2019 11:04 AM UTC

What Went Well

Unaware that Karran’s saber was no longer behind her, she chafed along the sharp edges that scraped her face-mask, suit and under layering. The jagged rock cut into the flesh of her left shoulder.

Ow ow ow. There was a lot of fun with injuries in this post, starting here and carrying on right through the very end.

Room for Growth

Usually we see people buff up their own character at the expense of their opponent’s. In this match, I think you handled Alaisy with a lot of restraint, but overdid Karran’s abilities with the Force. He does a lot in your two posts, almost constantly, and doesn’t seem terribly fatigued by it. In particular, you really push his Telekinesis abilities for +2.