Adept Atra Ventus vs. Battlemaster Lucine Vasano

Adept Atra Ventus

Elder 1, Elder tier, Clan Vizsla
Male Umbaran, Force Disciple, Juggernaut
vs.

Battlemaster Lucine Vasano

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Seeker
Comment

Boy howdy, this was a close one. I was all prepared to jump on your every trivial error like a rabid dog, but in truth these posts were so clean and mechanically flawless that the match came down to Story. You were both within spitting distance of a 5, but ultimately we didn't see the two things the rubric highlights as worthy of a 5: the "holy crap, I've never seen that before" feeling and advanced literary structures. Thus you are not perfect, and must settle for merely outstanding.

However, even with Atra's advantage in Syntax, the scores are so close that advantage in Story served as the tiebreaker. In some matches, advantage is pretty obvious and straightforward. This was not one of them. Atra has the edge in terms of physicality and pure combat writing (which is going to give me even more of a complex about living up to him as CM). Also, Wally liked that rock trick. Lucine, on the other hard, had the slight edge in originality and pacing. While Atra did great work with the premise he was given, his middle post ultimately mirrored Lucine's opener: fight over the macguffin and then reveal that one character knows that Knil has the real holocron and is pinning their bets on their respective NPC getting the job done. For advantage in this case, we looked at which of you was closer to the rubric's definition of a 5.

This was, as I've mentioned ad nauseum, a tough call between two incredibly skilled writers, but in the end Lucine Vasano is the 2019 Champion of the Antei Combat Center!

Congratulations to both our champion and our second place finisher, as well as to Andrelious for rounding out the top 3. Thank you all for your participation, and I hope to see many more matches like this in the future.

Archenksov
Combat Master

Marick Tyris
Voice

Hall Spring 2019 ACC Championship
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Adept Atra Ventus, Battlemaster Lucine Vasano
Winner Battlemaster Lucine Vasano
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Adept Atra Ventus's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Battlemaster Lucine Vasano's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Dromund Kaas: Dark Temple Ruins
Last Post 20 June, 2019 2:50 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Darth Renatus Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: Shut up and take your 5, you pedant. Rationale: You got your one and only flaw out of the way early here, but otherwise this was an extremely polished bit of writing.
Story - 40%
Darth Renatus Lucine Vasano
Score: 4 Score: 4 (Advantage)
Rationale: Brilliant action. Rationale: Stellar imagery and setup.
Realism - 25%
Darth Renatus Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Nothing we could find after multiple passes of reading the story. Character sheets were used accurately to the point where it seemed like each writer wrote the other character just as accurate as their own. Rationale: Nothing we could find after multiple passes of reading the story. Character sheets were used accurately to the point where it seemed like each writer wrote the other character just as accurate as their own.
Continuity - 20%
Darth Renatus Lucine Vasano
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Oh, like either of you were going to blow this on Continuity. Rationale: Oh, like either of you were going to blow this on Continuity.
Darth Renatus's Score: 4.6 Lucine Vasano's Score: 4.65
Posts

Dromund Kaas Dark Temple Ruins

Abandoned and forgotten, the ruins of the Dark Temple have slowly succumbed to the erosion of time. In the central chamber the walls have crumbled, the ceiling has caved in, and the jungle now flourishes within the once pristine halls.

Green light filters through the temple, mixing eerily with the dark, violet hue of Dromund Kaas’ sky. Lightning flickers overhead, the raw energy of the Force clashing high above. The floor is overgrown with large plants and grasses that have swallowed the old stone. Wild creatures roam freely, skittering away from the presence of intruders while vicious predators hide just out of sight.

The main hall is lined on both sides by towering statues, heads bowed in supplication. They stand in deference to the sculpture of a pure-blooded Sith, which towers over the chamber with outstretched arms. The sculpture has been split diagonally down the middle, as if cleaved in two by a rusted blade, but the majesty in the stone still echoes to the past.

On either side of the main hall, remnants of branches to inaccessible parts of the temple remain. One might tilt their head to take in what is left of the mezzanine—the balcony overlooking the chamber—still held aloft by the great pillars standing behind the statues. Several of the pillars have fallen, providing a pathway up to the mezzanine for those willing to take the risk for higher ground. Spirits of the Sith are rumored to still haunt the grounds—waiting for poor, misguided fools to walk blindly into their domain.

Lucine: Post 1 There was a storm coming.

The nighttime cries of the animals that dwelled in the jungle surrounding the Sith temple had fallen silent, as if they were waiting in anticipation for the approaching tempest. The violet sky darkened into a deep purple hue. Lightning forked through the clouds, followed shortly by the rumble of thunder. The crumbling temple walls afforded little protection against the rising winds, causing the plants that blanketed the floor of the central chamber to bend and sway. As the gusts moved through the ruined walls it created an eerie moan, like the cry of a damned soul.

Lucine Vasano ignored the noise of the storm as she tapped at the interface of her datapad. “I have forwarded the payment to your account, including a little extra for the errand you are about to run. Do give my apologies to your employer for the slight delay in delivery.”

“Yeah, sure,” Knil Fastas said as he glanced around nervously. The Rodian smuggler had many good qualities, but bravery was not one of them. “You sure we’re alone out here?”

“Of course I am certain,” Lucine replied. She did not bother to mention that she was expecting another guest: the interloper who had been harassing and terrifying her contacts for the past few weeks. “Do you have the item I asked for?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Knil said. He unceremoniously pulled a black lacquer box from his backpack and presented it to her with shaking hands. “Here, take it.”

Lucine opened the lid to reveal a triangular holocron. “Yes, this will do nicely,” she said, beaming at him. “And see? Nothing untoward happened. Your fears about this handoff were completely unfounded.”

As if on cue, she saw a flicker of movement in her peripheral vision. Right on time, she thought, though her smile faded slightly when she realized who it was. The muscular, dark-haired Umbaran was instantly recognizable, and she cursed inwardly at how badly she had miscalculated in this ploy. Knil turned to see what she was looking at, and squealed in fear when he realized that they were no longer alone. But Lucine refused to show any sign of trepidation. “Atra Ventus,” she said sweetly. “I had no idea you were interested in Sith artifacts.”

The Umbaran said nothing, though his growing smirk made it clear that he was amused by their reactions to his appearance.

“Go on, darling. Our business is done,” she murmured quietly to Knil. The Rodian started to edge toward a particularly large hole in the wall, opting to avoid walking past the Umbaran.

Atra watched the Rodian without blinking, before loudly shouting “Boo!” It was all the encouragement Knil needed. He whimpered and darted through the hole in the wall to disappear into the jungle.

Lucine let out the breath she had been holding as she watched Knil make his escape. It seemed the Umbaran was only interested in what he thought was the holocron. “So, I presume that you are the one who has been attacking my contacts?”

The Umbaran's smirk deepened. “Obviously.”

The single word held so much sarcasm that it cut through Lucine’s nervousness and kindled a spark of irritation. “Ah yes, the strong silent type,” the redhead said wryly. “What is your plan here? This is not the holocron you are looking for, so you might as well go back to your ship before the storm starts.” She made a dismissive gesture as she spoke, drawing upon the Force to make her words seem more convincing.

Ventus quirked an eyebrow as he felt the urge to do what she suggested. He glanced back in the direction of his ship for several seconds as he overcame her attempt to control him. When he at last returned his gaze to her, his expression held nothing but disdain. “That didn’t go as you expected, did it?”

Lucine sighed in exasperation. “No, darling, it went exactly as I expected. It seems I am outclassed.”

“Obviously.”

The Sith narrowed her eyes, her annoyance growing into anger. "And yet I persevere. You may wish to wait out the storm here, but I am leaving.”

The Umbaran raised his eyebrows at her statement. He opened his hand to reveal a lightsaber hilt, which slowly lifted into the air. He closed his now empty hand into a fist, while the weapon remained suspended as if it was being held by an unseen hand.

Lucine pulled her own lightsaber from her belt. She drew upon her fear and anger and directed the dark energy into her muscles to give them additional strength. She charged toward Ventus, clutching the container in her right hand while igniting her lightsaber with her left. But as she drew near him, her link to the Force and her augmented strength abruptly vanished.

She gasped in surprise at the sudden loss in momentum and tried to draw up short. Ventus’s lightsaber flared to life within her guard, too close to bring her own weapon up to defend herself. Instead, she tossed the lacquer box at his face and dropped low into a skid. His plasma blade passed within inches of where her head had been. She did not dare to look up, but the fact that the box did not clatter to the ground told her that he had managed to catch it.

Using her momentum and low position, she whipped her foot around to sweep his legs out from under him. The Umbaran fell, but managed to twist his body to land in a crouch, holding the lacquer box close to his chest.

“That didn’t go as expected either, did it?” Ventus asked with a smirk as he showed her his prize. But Lucine merely offered him a saccharine smile. She had gotten what she wanted: he no longer stood between her and the exit. In truth, she did not care one whit about the contents of the box. Her only job was to keep Ventus busy while Knil got away.

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 24 June, 2019 10:53 PM UTC

Arch's Thoughts

Very little to criticize here, aside from the accidentally copied header at the beginning. With a word cap in effect, you didn't have a lot of words to spare on setting the scene, so I was happy to see you make beautiful use of what you had. Likewise, it's a tough balance to strike when you introduce an NPC like Knil into a match, but I think you nailed it. The focus of this match is right where it should be: Lucine against Atra. Knil provides a goal and some background for the conflict and then gets out of the way, which is enough screen time to make this match more interesting but not enough to leave me wondering where Atra was the whole time.

Wally's Thoughts

Agree with Arch. Very good set up with not just jumping into Combat but not putting it off too long. It’s a hard balance to strike, but this is a really good example of how to do an intro post for a standard 2/2 match with a word cap.

A bright flash heralded another thunderous roar, causing Atra's eyes to narrow protectively. That fact didn't go unnoticed by Lucine.

"I know I look good, darling, but one should take care not to stare," the woman cooed.

Still, time wasn't a commodity the Arconan could afford to let slip through her fingers, finite as it was. While she would be disinclined to call it retreating, Lucine took careful steps away from her guest as her copper-tone curls lightly swayed. "Expected or not," she continued, "it seems the holocron is in your care. Let's call it a gift shall we? A downpayment, even."

At that, Atra's eyebrows arched in a look of sheer incredulity. The Umbaran rose to his full height as he examined the box, rotating it casually with one hand. His search for knowledge had brought him there after all, but something didn't sit right. His black-gold gaze roamed the reflective contours of the case before glancing towards Lucine. "So," he began. The one word served to dismiss Vasano entirely. "Help me understand..."

Lucine's lips formed a tight line. It was a small crack within her carefully crafted mask betraying her concern. Could he have guessed... she thought. Suddenly, Lucine felt a pressure closing in around her. Unseen, ethereal tendrils grasped the woman and began pulling her back towards Atra. She grit her teeth and planted her feet. Almost instinctively, just as she began to feel herself slipping, Lucine reached out and dug her fingers into the dirt and stone beneath her. The act had kept her from succumbing entirely, but it also came at the price of pain.

"Get over here," Atra commanded. His free hand rose in a beckoning grasp and his brow furrowed in concentration.

Lucine seethed as dirt turned to mud as it mingled with her slowly dripping blood. Already, she could feel her purchase fleeting alongside her strength. It was then that the Arconan made a decision that meant all the difference. She gave in, letting go but taking her WESTAR-34 into hand instead. While the sound itself was muted for a blaster, the glowing bolts announced their presence well enough as Lucine squeezed the trigger while midair.

Then she was free...and falling.

The Umbaran had no choice but to react to the immediate threat. He breathed out and let his power fall away, opting to spin aside while dropping his supposed prize. Sparks singed the plants behind him as the streaking plasma just missed Atra's swirling robes. His first instinct was to lash out and, sometimes, it was best to just go with it. So he did. Ventus' left arm swept out and his crimson saber followed from its perch upon his thigh. The weapon lashed out with blade ignited, cleaving through the air only to leave a scorching streak where Lucine had just been.

Her desperate roll continued, the Force still hissing whispers of warning within her awareness. A second strike glanced across her armorweave cloak as it coiled around her, hissing angrily but leaving her unharmed. That fact didn't assuage her, but Lucine was thankful to be in one piece regardless.

The steady thrumming of the blades disappeared just as the Arconan came to rest behind a fallen pillar. Lucine's emerald eyes moved up the pillar towards the mezzanine above her, weighing her options as she holstered her pistol. It wasn't exactly her favored exit route, but it had certainly been on the list.

"Someone like you—"

Lucine's prior trepidation came back, threatening to expose itself as Atra's voice was accompanied by his hand grasping the edge of the pillar just as he came into view.

"—wouldn't give up the prize," Ventus concluded.

Another flash made the woman's skin even more pale beneath the darkening purple haze above them. Lucine stretched her spine just so and leaned into what was almost a model's pose while offering Atra her most sincere demure expression. "One must know their limits, darling."

Another arched brow answered her.

"You've made your point. Now, wouldn't you much prefer to just walk away?" Lucine asked with a slight wave of her hand. Unlike her first suggestion, this time she poured even more of her concentration into the mental push.

Atra swayed, once more having to steel himself against the oh-so-tempting instructions. He blinked several times and then tilted his head to the side, sighing. "Again?"

Lucine shrugged and relaxed her pose. "Old habits, dear." She paused to brush her ringlets free from the perspiration beading upon her brow. Just then, as she seemed at her most harmless, Vasano lashed out. Her open palm sought a precise strike towards his knee joint before another went for every man's most treasured asset.

The Elder steeled himself almost instinctively. The Force permeated his being and rejected the possibility of bringing him to the ground, but it did nothing for the pain. There was very little that could be done against such a sudden shock.

"Seems you're a man after all," Lucine chortled.

The woman clambered up the pillar and onto the mezzanine. Already she was growing tired, but Lucine felt that everything was working in her favor despite her miscalculations. With luck, Knil's little errand would soon be complete and Lucine...well, she would be back in her ship and preferably alive.

Before she could get too far, a sudden blur crossed her vision and Lucine stopped up short. The triangular holocron struck the statue just past her and shattered. As its remnants fell apart, so too did her hopes.

Atra shifted uncomfortably in the chamber below, but his glare spoke volumes. "Your delivery boy has the real artifact," he declared, watching her carefully for a reaction she fought not to give. Then he raised his comlink to his lips. "Adalinde."

"My pleasure," came the aristocratic reply over the device.

The wind chose that moment to pick up, bringing with it a curtain of heavy rain that struck the ground with a cacophony that threatened to deafen them.

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 24 June, 2019 11:04 PM UTC

Arch's Comments

I had a nitpick or two, but otherwise there’s very little to harp on here. The writing was extremely polished and a great set-up for both competitors to write a final post off of. As far as nitpicks go, there was the passage when Lucine's starting to resist the Telekinetic pull: in one sentence, she's on her feet and digging in her heels, and in the next she's on the ground digging in with her fingers. She seemed to go from standing to prone quickly enough that I had to stop and backtrack to see if I missed something. I think you struck exactly the right balance with the Knil/holocron plot that Lucine gave you, where you kept the focus on Atra and Lucine for most of the post but then gracefully brought up the chase element in a tense moment.

Wally's Comments

The writing is spot on. I had one head scratch moment early on when you were describing Lucine being grasped by tendrils, but honestly the exchange between both characters is so organic and rich that it flows really well and I don’t think that either character is written better than the other as a result of the authors bias. Really hard to do and really well done.

Lucine cursed inwardly at the comlink exchange. Of course Atra would bring backup; that was just the sort of person that he was. But Knil would have an easier time outrunning one person rather than two, making her course of action clear. She scrambled along the mezzanine until she was over the exit and dropped down to the ground in front of it.

Atra had been striding to the door, having completely dismissed the redhead as a threat. Now that she stood in front of him, he checked his stride with a look of growing irritation on his face.

“No need to rush, darling. I am certain that Adalinde is very competent,” Lucine said, pitching her voice to be heard over the deluge. She ignited her lightsaber and fell into a defensive stance. “By contrast, Knil is a craven. Hardly a threat at all. Let us see how this plays out, shall we?”

The Umbaran gave a snort of derision as he drew his second lightsaber with his left hand. Once more, the lightsaber lifted into the air and hung there, and both it and the one he held flared to life at the same time. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

“At the moment, there is nothing I want to do less,” Lucine replied. “All told, this has proven to be a spectacularly terrible plan. But I am committed now, and determined to see it through.”

Atra did not reply. Instead, he took a step forward and made a slashing gesture with his empty hand. The crimson blade arced forward to aim a strike at her head. Lucine blocked it before sweeping her weapon low to deflect a second slash aimed at her legs. As he brought the floating blade up for another attack, the redhead came in low with a slash aimed at his chest. The Umbaran blocked it easily with his white lightsaber, and Lucine was forced to spin away to retreat from his reach while deflecting an overhead strike from the crimson one.

It was immediately apparent to the Sith that the fight would be one-sided. The floating lightsaber kept Atra out of her reach, and his unrelenting attacks kept her on the defensive. She was already weary from her initial scuffle with Atra, and she could feel her movements slowing. As she dodged and parried his blows, she used her fear and frustration to draw upon the Force.

As Atra brought his hand up for another attack, he heard his comlink chirp. ”I’ve got him,” Adalinda said, her voice filled with triumph. But there was something odd about her voice. Her voice carried an unusual lilt that caused the Umbaran to narrow his eyes suspiciously. Those suspicions were confirmed as Lucine took advantage of his hesitation to attack. Atra took a step back, avoiding the blow as he allowed his crimson lightsaber to clatter to the ground. He then shoved his right hand toward the redhead.

Her breath exploded from her lungs as an invisible wall of force slammed into her, knocking her back into one of the moss-covered pillars. Black stars exploded in front of her eyes as her head struck the unyielding stone with a loud crack.

Seeing that she would not be getting up immediately, Atra raised the comlink to his lips. “Say again?”

“What? I did not say anything,” Adalinde responded.

“I thought as much,” the Umbaran said as he glared at Lucine, who was shakily trying to get to her feet. He extended his hand once more, and an invisible tendril of energy snaked out to wrap around her neck.

Lucine’s mouth formed an O of surprise as she suddenly found her airway constricted. She instinctively brought her hands up to her throat, but it did little good. As the seconds dragged past, her struggles became weaker as the lack of oxygen took its toll.

A distant rumbling caught his attention, and Atra turned his gaze upward. He saw a ship streak overhead, bucking precariously as it fought against the roaring winds. As he watched, it shuddered as it lifted higher up into the sky and disappeared into the atmosphere.

The Umbaran closed his eyes, willing away his rising anger before dismissing the energy that was strangling the life from Lucine. The redhead dropped to the sodden ground, coughing and gasping for breath.

“Your delivery boy. Where is he going?” the Umbaran asked coldly.

“Naboo,” the Sith replied without hesitation. Her voice was hoarse, forcing Atra to draw nearer in order to hear her over the pouring rain. “He is taking the holocron to Lord Anthony Krentz, who owns an estate south of Varykino. Apparently, he considers himself quite the collector, and has an impressive collection of Sith artifacts.”

Atra raised his eyebrows at the woman’s sudden display of forthrightness. “You’re being remarkably helpful all of a sudden.”

“My part of the job ends when he gets the holocron. I do not care what happens to it afterward,” Lucine replied in a weak voice.

Atra glared down at her, and Lucine raised her hands in supplication. “It is the truth, darling. If you are going to go after it, I suggest you do it tomorrow night. Krentz is planning to hold a gala to show off the holocron to his friends. Most of them are collectors as well. It would be a great opportunity to expand your collection!”

Atra studied her face carefully and found no sign of guile in her expression. Wordlessly, he lashed out with his foot, bringing it heavily down on her knee. Lucine shrieked in pain as her bones snapped beneath the weight of his boot. “I'm telling the truth!” she gasped as she cradled her now mangled leg.

“I know,” Atra replied as he turned once more toward the door. “That should keep you too busy to warn Krentz that I’m coming.” He cast a smirk at her over his shoulder, before disappearing into the downpour.

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 24 June, 2019 11:08 PM UTC

Arch's Comments

This was a pretty good ending, and as with the other posts I found very little to complain about. The lightsaber combat exchange was fast-paced, easy to follow, and varied, and it's very difficult to hit all three of those simultaneously.

Wally's Comments

Atra is efficient, if nothing else, but this did seem a tad bit anticlimactic despite being very well described and a logical ending point. There are just small things here, like my comment on the ending, that prevent this from being a 5 in my book. Still, it’s one of the better narratives woven utilizing the environment, circumstance, and honestly one of the best introductions to a match I’ve read in quite some time. Very impressed.

Lucine glared into the cloud-filled sky and then back towards Atra. She had prepared the trap and set the bait, now only to find herself caught in the snare. The Umbaran had to know this, but made no move to act...and why would he? There was an air of smugness practically seeping from him. The kind of presence that declared they were the smartest person in the room and believed it entirely.

The concept alone was enough to infuriate the woman, though she continued to keep it bottled up.

"There's no reason we can't both get what we want, darling," Lucine shouted above the rain.

"Quite past that now," he countered.

"Shame."

What Vasano left unsaid was that she only regretted he was more brain than muscle. Still, her mind was in overdrive. Knil needed to get away. She knew that much but was at a loss on how to make her will reality.

Her thoughts might have been racing, but Lucine caught Atra's movements as he made to follow. She took a step back and almost slipped on the quickly slickening stone. The Arconan glanced down as several stones were knocked free and rolled towards the edge.

"Seems you'll need more incentive," Lucine declared.

Atra paused, lifting an eyebrow.

Lucine's saccharine smile returned. "Not as artful a means as I prefer, darling, but they do say art...is an explosion." Then she twisted with a grunt to throw what Atra recognized as a thermal detonator towards him.

The Umbaran grimaced and planted his feet. His hands stretched out wide and he willed the Force to solidify protectively before him. All the while, Lucine made a mad dash towards the upper stairwell. Several breaths passed before Atra felt a hint of confusion. Where was the boom? He looked down towards the detonator and narrowed his eyes. It looked accurate enough but there was just something wrong about it. That feeling grew stronger the more he looked at it until, at last, it appeared as it actually was.

A damned rock.

"Sithspit," Atra seethed under his breath. He suffused himself with the Force, strengthening his legs in particular, and launched himself up the pillar. His rain-slick bangs clung to his face as the Umbaran fought to make up lost time. Far ahead, he could see the redhead almost free of him.

He'd already been annoyed. Now, he was starting to become well and truly aggravated.

Atra clung to that feeling and let it stir his power on. It roiled deep within and he was more than happy to oblige it. With a swipe of his hand, the Umbaran latched onto the crumbling opening mere steps away from Lucine and pulled. The stone resisted, at first, and that was enough time for the woman to make a split-second decision between stopping or diving for it.

She opted for the former.

Lucine spun around with cold fury burning bright within her emerald gaze. In one hand she held her lightsaber, ready to protect herself with all she had. Even so, neither moved for the longest time. On the one side, Lucine remained cautious and ever examining. On the other, Atra was in no rush to set aside their mental war.

"Target seemed to be operating under a lingering suggestion," Adalinde interrupted over the comlink, happening to find a lull in the raging storm. "He retrieved another package. It's ours now."

Just like that, the final cog in Lucine's plan snapped and all of her carefully bottled anger slipped free of her grasp. She charged forward, knowing full well that Atra would be able to quell any reliance on the Force she might have. She also had an unexpected advantage.

With the wet stone offering little traction, Atra's alacrity ceased to help. That—coupled with Lucine's unexpected ferocity—put the Umbaran on the defensive. The redhead traced a tight viridescent weave, pressing the assault despite her proficiency in the more defensively minded Soresu. With Atra unable to truly maneuver, he brought his cerulean blade to life and found himself guarding. The Umbaran tried to counter as Lucine drew her blade towards his midsection. His intent had been to push the tip of her weapon aside and create an opening, but Lucine instead rebounded off his lightsaber and quickly spun about in riposte.

Atra responded by pouring his will into a metaphysical push that reclaimed some space between them, sparing himself a fatal blow. Still, the Umbaran felt his technical skills were at a disadvantage with the terrain as it was. It was an unacceptable conclusion.

A tinge of rage colored Atra's emotions while Lucine pressed back in upon him. Reaching out, the Umbaran abandoned his weapons and grabbed Lucine's arms. Finding herself suddenly restrained, the redhead kicked out defensively and managed to strike at Atra's shins in an attempt to weaken his footing. Unfortunately for them both, that footing was already unreliable.

Caught in the momentum, both of them began to tumble towards the edge. In that instant, surprise and panic were their greatest threats. With quickened breaths, Atra was the first to respond. He twisted around and almost cried out as his muscles spasmed in protest, but he was still able to pull Lucine ahead of him.

The redhead's nails clawed into his right arm, locking them together just as she found herself airborne. For the briefest moment, Lucine thought that was the end. Instead, her eyes opened and saw that Atra had managed to lodge himself painfully within the ragged cracks of the mezzanine's edge and its supporting pillar.

As Lucine felt her grip slipping, she glanced down before slowly looking up with regret weighing heavily in her emerald eyes. "In retrospect, darling," she managed quietly. "This was a bad idea."

"Usually—" Atra grunted as he maintained his hold. "—are."

Lucine scoffed at his sarcasm. "Waste of a good plan..."

Atra didn't respond. Not with words. Instead, the woman felt one last push before gravity claimed her.

Then she felt nothing.

Moff Alethia Archenksova, 24 June, 2019 11:14 PM UTC

Arch’s Comments

Another strong ending. I feel like people tend to go big with Illusion, but the rock trick seems to me to be exactly the sort of thing a practiced illusionist would do in the spur of the moment. However, lightsaber combat seems to really be your forte.

Wally’s Comments

It’s almost like he was a Combat Master or something. Crazy. The action here is the best of the fight in terms of clarity, description and imagery. The ending has a good dramatic beat, but again still felt very... ”the end”. I understand the struggle of word caps with short story narrative structure, but mention this just to support why I don’t think this pushes into “5” territory for me. Still, an excellent final post.