Knight Appius Wight vs. Knight Mortuary Djale

Knight Appius Wight

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Vizsla
Male Human, Jedi, Arcanist
vs.

Knight Mortuary Djale

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Vizsla
Male Zabrak, Jedi, Arcanist
Comment

Hello! Thank you both for participating in the ACC. This match was quite fun to read, and I thank you both for writing it. Without further pleasantries, I'll get to the judgement.

First off I felt both of you needed a proofer. Posts on both sides were littered with handful of syntax mistakes, run-on sentences, and other strange errors that brought down the scoring. Appius was more of a culprit on this front, if only because he wrote more and had more chances to err.

Realism wise you both had your mistakes, as outlined above, but it's in continuity that the margin between the two scores starts to widen. A repeated continuity error in Mortuaries posts sets him behind in the grading, and might have sealed the result.

Story wise you were both interesting, though not spectacular. Both sides of the story were fun to read, but at no point was I particularly wowed and by them. I ultimately decided to award story advantage to Appius, as I felt he did more to control the story, set the narrative, and really drive the plot forward.

All this taken into account, Appius Wight is the winner of this match. Congratulations to both of you, and I hope to see you again!

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Knight Appius Wight, Knight Mortuary Djale
Winner Knight Appius Wight
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Knight Appius Wight's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Knight Mortuary Djale's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Kashyyyk: Rainforest Canopies
Last Post 24 September, 2019 5:55 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 3 Score: 2
Rationale: A number of mistakes made the posts harder to read. Rationale: Numerous, repeated mistakes made the posts something of a struggle to read through. A focus on proofing is definitely reccomended.
Story - 40%
High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 3 Score: 3 (Advantage)
Rationale: The story was interesting, but didnt really do anything to draw me in or distinguish itself. It continued the narrative and presented enough clever situations to not be boring, but it never really took the reins and made something special. Rationale: I like a lot of what you did, and you definitely had control of the narrative here. However, I never felt like the story really shone or stepped above the average over the course of the posts.
Realism - 25%
High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: A single error was noted. Rationale: Two small detractors we're noticed.
Continuity - 20%
High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: A single error was noted. Rationale: No errors!
High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore's Score: 3.45 Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson's Score: 3.7
Posts

Kashyyyk Rainforest Canopies

The wild planet of Kashyyyk is known to be home to the gentle, but short-tempered race of Wookiees. Wild and untamed, the lush, wroshyr tree-filled forests form a multi-layered deathtrap. The local wildlife present a threat as one descends towards the forest floor, though the battle-scarred beaches and the remnants of the Clone Wars provide refuge. However, as one ascends the danger of falling becomes the largest threat until coming in contact with the Wookiee settlements. Fauna and flora flourish in delight, growing within dirt pockets in the crevices of the trees. Some of these plants are carnivorous, becoming larger and deadlier closer to the forest floor. Others have some form of consciousness, able to communicate with the Wookiees to give some understanding of their use.

Kashyyyk Rainforest Canopies

Above the Wookie settlements rests the wild rain forest canopies. Within the crevices of the trees, empty fruit and rotting shells from seeds show the spring season has ended. A soft wind whistles between the thick vines and shrubs that stick to the trunks of the ancient and sleeping giants. Despite the never-ending lack of footholds aside from the branches of wroshyr trees, a series of abandoned and rotting platforms are suspended a hundred meters above the surface, once home to its own Wookiee settlement. Overgrown and decayed, it has since nourished countless plants and trees with their outstretched branches sheltering the dense and soft floor from the extreme sun rays and torrential rain. Upon closer inspection unusual signs become notable. Moss carpets particular areas on the platforms and nowhere else, and tree-dwelling animals and birds never seem to land on the surface.

Tread carefully, or fall whim to the creatures that inhabit this terrain.

The soft wind of the Wookiee homeworld brushed onto the pale skin of Appius' face but did very little to reassure him as the cries of wildlife, both predator and prey echoed from the forest floor below. The harsh sunlight was thankfully obscured by the myriad of wroshyr trees scattered all over everywhere he looked. The dirt pockets of the trees themselves were covered in a beautiful array of flowers, both carnivorous and even somewhat sentient to the native Wookiee tribes that gave the planet a sense of beauty, horror, peace and danger.

Appius stood above the hostile environment of the rainforest floor from atop one of the old rainforest canopies overlooking one of the battle scarred beaches of the Clone Wars with trepidation. The wood of the canopy itself was rotten in places and within the trees themselves empty fruit and rotting shells had fallen, signalling the end of spring and the start of summer.

It wasn't often he was asked to meet someone in private so normally that meant one of two things. One, it was to share some sort of strange secret or two, he was in trouble.

He was willing to bet it was the latter.

He unsheathed his datapad to once again read the message he received for the seventh time.

'Meet me on Kashyyyk at these coordinates. Tell no-one and come alone.' - Mortuary Djale.

What could his fellow Jedi and Vizsla clansman possibly want? And why did it require coming all the way out to Kashyyyk of all places?

He was then broken out of his musings when the sound of creaking wood and cracking shells approaching him from behind. As if right on cue he turned to face the man that had called him here in the first place.

"Mortuary Djale." Appius said cautiously, not wanting to cause any conflict between the two of them at the very start of their meeting.

Though the human Jedi couldn't help but freeze in place at the sight of the Zabrak that towered over him. Mortuary stood over two metres tall and his pale yellow face was adorned with scars that no doubt were the result of fierce battles. His grey eyes gave the man a sense of mystery behind his black Inquisitorius Armor.

"Appius Wight." The Zabrak spoke clearly in his retort, making sure Appius knew it wasn't a question but more of a statement that he knew who he was.

"May I ask why you wanted me to come here?" Appius asked, swallowing his nerves and allowing his curiosity to take over.

"I have uncovered evidence that you are a Severian Principate spy within the Brotherhood. I'm sorry, but I'm here to take you in."

Appius' eyes widened in shock at what he just heard. So that was it. He wanted him alone and isolated away from civilization and Kashyyyk isn't known for much activity outside of the Wookie tribes that inhabited natively to the planet. No-one ever came here so Appius couldn't call for help.

But Mortuary's statement shook the human Jedi to his core for a couple of reasons. Firstly, he wasn't and never has been a Principate spy.

And secondly, He has been nothing but loyal to both Clan Vizsla and the Brotherhood since he joined. It honestly stung and hurt that he would just be accused of something like this, especially so soon after he fought in Discord itself on the side of the Brotherhood.

"Wait, I think there's been some sort of mistake." He said trying to reason with the intimidating man that stood before him.

"That's what they all say. I'm sorry Appius, but you are coming with me whether you like it or not. Now, We can do this the easy way…"

Mortuary paused for a moment to let the severity of his next sentence intensify.

"Or we can do this the hard way." His tone of voice deepened and immediately Appius knew it was either fight or flight, diplomacy was out the window now that Mortuary had made up his mind. He wasn't going to listen so he knew he needed to escape if he was going to clear his name.

He closed his eyes and focused the will of the Living Force into his body, immediately he felt a sense of power coarse through him, empowering him and giving him strength. He directed the flow of it through him and formed a coil of energy into the palm of his right hand and slammed it as hard as he could into the wood in between them. The Force warned Mortuary of the incoming threat but it was two moments too late as he had no time to react to Appius' sudden movements. He was then staggered by the detonation of energy Appius released and thudded upright with his back against the main wooden post at the centre of the rainforest canopy the two men currently occupied.

Not wanting to waste any time, Appius attempted to get as far away from the Zabrak as humanly possible. He hated fighting and if he could get away without having to fight then that's exactly what he would do.

But Mortuary was smarter than that. Quickly sensing Appius' intentions he reacted swiftly and unloaded the pin of his adhesive grenade and lobbed it right at the fleeing Jedi before he could get very far. The grenade exploded and covered Appius from the waist down in hard glue.

"What the Hell!?" Appius yelled out in horror, he had no idea Mortuary had anything like that on him and cursed himself for not sending it through the Force. The glue itself felt like solid carbonite as his mobility in the lower half of his body was cut off from him.

Mortuary had Appius where he wanted him and decided to finish the job quickly. He drew one Striker Pistol from his waist and wasted no time in unleashing his deadly weaponry upon his fellow clansmen. He fired the first shot, and despite the warning of imminent danger the Force gave to Appius the slug still managed to graze his right cheek just as he moved his head out of the way of the lethal shot. He winced in pain as he felt blood trickle down his face.

Luckily for Appius, Striker Pistols have a slow rate of fire and before the second slug shell could hit him he managed to raise his right hand towards Mortuary and with the Force coming to his aid, the offending slug ricocheted off what seemed to be an invisible wall just a few inches from the palm of his hand.

Knowing his fellow Arcanist wouldn't be trapped for much longer, he drew another Striker Pistol into his spare hand and began to close the distance between the two slowly, firing shot after shot as he advanced as to not give Appius a chance to do anything other than defend himself. Though one thing caught his attention as the human Jedi defended himself, he noticed the graze on his cheek seemingly heal itself. The blood stopped trickling down his face became dry and the flesh knitted itself back together like the minor wound never happened in the first place.

'Damn.' Mortuary thought to himself as upon seeing this he very quickly realised this wasn't going to be as easy as he hoped.

Mortuary Djale resumed his walk towards Appius Wight who remained bound in the sticky residue of the adhesive grenade.

“Appius, please don’t make this difficult for the both of us. Innocent or guilty I guarantee that you will be treated fairly. But you have to stop resisting me. Don’t make this any worse for yourself.”

The human stopped struggling against the glue which bound him to the forest floor, at least to Mortuary’s eyes. The human began to channel the Living Force throughout his body. He took a deep breath, held it, then released it. To an outsider, it would appear that he was releasing a sigh of frustration at the absurdity of the situation. The reality was far different.

Within all life forms existed microscopic beings known as midichlorians. These tiny creatures released an invisible field of energy, known to the galaxy as The Force. This energy flowed through all living things, surrounding them and binding them together. It was this energy that Appius gathered within his body, focusing it within his arms and legs. With a burst of motion, he pushed outwards with the augmented limbs, ripping out of the adhesive and freeing his trapped body.

Mortuary observed the scene with a frustrated scowl. He had given his word that Appius would be treated fairly only for the human to throw away his promise like a pile of ripped clothing. The human had immediately attacked him, taking advantage of the Zabrak’s peaceful intentions to deliver a surprise attack. How dishonorable. How futile.

Mortuary strode forward, drawing his lightsaber and activating it; an amethyst beam springing from the hilt. Now was not the time for speeches and pardons. Appius had forced his hand and Mortuary was all too happy to show it.

Grot, 5 October, 2019 11:28 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

The post in general was short, but your use of amplification here was very well written, and a great way to represent Force powers. You also continued to build on the themes established by your opponent.

Can Be Improved

There were a number of small syntax mistakes.

There's a continuity mistake when you mention the fight taking place on the "forest floor". Always keep in mind the venue when considering your fight. You're nowhere near the forest floor, but rather hundreds of feet above it on an old Wookiee platform.

Desperate times call for desperate measures but clearly the open palmed strike Appius attempted to land clearly hadn't done anything other than make the Zabrak angry as he quickly realised that was a bad move. He normally wasn't the type to perform sneak attacks but at this point he was willing to try anything to get away.

Upon seeing the Zabrak approach him and the amethyst blade erupt out of his lightsaber hilt, Appius called upon the Force to grip Redeemer, his own lightsaber sheathed within his robes to his right hand. The hilt flew out of his robes and into his hand as Mortuary swung his blade vertically above his head and with his heart full of the intent to bring Appius to justice no matter the cost, he swung it down with veracity at the smaller humans head.

Green met amethyst as Mortuary's lightsaber was intercepted by Appius' horizontal reactive block just inches from his skull. Undeterred, Mortuary answered with another horizontal strike towards the human Jedi's left knee only for it to once again be quickly met by the green blade of Redeemer. It remained close to Appius' body, minimizing the effort and movement required in order to defend himself for as long as he had too. An overhead strike to his right arm was next and Appius reacted instinctively to block it again, only this time, instead of accepting his opponents aggression he shifted his feet an inch to the side. This little movement altered the amount of momentum he had to take from Mortuary's attack, causing the attacker to slightly overextend.

'Now!' Appius thought to himself as he called upon the Force once more to fuel him, with the power it provided he quickly seized the opportunity to slip around Mortuary's flank.

As he sped past him he spun around and called upon whatever emotional stimuli he could muster. Memories from the past welled up from within him and he focused it into the tips of his fingers. Anger, torment, loss and sorrow, his past pain would become his present weapon.

As Mortuary turned to answer Appius quick movements he withdrew his riot shield from his back and held it in his left hand though he had no time to defend himself from the streaks of blue electricity that struck him in the middle of his solar plexus from just a few feet away. Even with the Force warning him of the imminent danger he just didn't have time to react and instantly dropped his shield and lightsaber to the ground next to him just out of reach.

The electricity coursed through his body as he grunted and dropped to his hands and knees. The pain was something that he had only ever experienced on the numerous battlefields he had been on in his life as it stung and burnt him inside and out.

Appius was stunned and honest slightly perturbed at how Mortuary coped with the deadly bolt of lightning. But unfortunately for him, Zabrak anatomy is very different to humans. Having two hearts, they had a higher pain threshold than most species in the galaxy. Still, his singed armor was now evidence of the damage that attack gave him.

The human Jedi stood there with his fingers still sparking ominously with electricity.

"Please don't make me do this. I'm telling you I'm innocent!" He said exasperatedly. They were both Jedi after all. There was no reason they shouldn't be able to find an agreement somehow.

It was this moment of hesitation that Mortuary needed. The palm of his left hand opened and he concentrated the power of the Force to grip around his riot shield as if it was an extended limb.

He looked at Appius, who was so consumed with his feelings he failed to notice what Mortuary was doing.

"Jho ajonatarakenofiis, Appius!" (Eat sithspit, Appius!)

"What?" Appius questioned.

Mortuary spoke in Zabraki, which was a language Appius didn't understand which only served to confuse him.

The Zabrak Jedi took advantage of this moment and with the power of the Force behind it he hurled the riot shield as hard as he could at Appius. It collided with the human Jedi's forehead, dissipating the threatening sparks between his fingers and knocking him backwards off his feet onto his back. He was completely unable to keep his grip on Redeemer from the sudden shock and impact as it rolled away out of his hand just a short distance away.

Without wasting a second, the Zabrak grabbed his lightsaber, reactivated the deadly weapon and rose to his feet to the sensation of the Living Force flowing through him, empowering him and guiding him to do whatever needed to be done. It helped him push through the pain he experienced and almost instantly it became a distant memory to him. He approached Appius and with as much force as he could muster in his body he stomped his boot into the middle of the man's solar plexus and felt instantly gratified.

Karma can be a pile of Rancor dung sometimes.

Appius' eyes bulged as he gasped and spat out saliva and the sudden shock of the pain in his chest.

"You had your chance, I'm ending this now."

Appius glanced over to Redeemer, the only thing that could save him now. Perhaps it was sheer willpower alone or maybe just his survival instinct kicking in, either way he called upon the Force to pull his weapon to him like a thrown rope on a loose object. It skidded along the floor to his right hand and he reactivated the green blade just as Mortuary was ready to strike him down and lunged his own lightsaber into the Zabrak straight through his abdomen in one end and out the other. Appius retracted the blade of Redeemer as blood trickled out of both sides of the open wound in the Zabraks gut.

If a picture paints a thousand words then Mortuary's face told a full story as it expressed a mixture of shock, horror and disappointment in himself. He dropped his own lightsaber and keeled over onto his side as blood now trickled onto the floor from his open wound before it cauterized.

Appius slowly rose to his feet and could feel the throb coming from the lump that now formed on his forehead and the bruise in-between his ribs.

"Ow…" He muttered to himself. He was definitely going to feel those in the morning.

He exhaled a breath and released the tension he held within his body during the battle. His muscles ached and his breathing was heavy as a result of fatigue.

He looked over to Mortuary's body lying unconscious on the floor next to him. His breathing was hoarse but no matter whether he's a Zabrak or not a hole in the gut is not something you simply shrug off.

At least he was alive. That was something at least.

Appius began to walk away but after a couple of steps he suddenly stopped and looked over his back at the body behind him.

He knew what the best course of action was. Leave him there, if he dies then he dies at least then he could get away and try to clear his name.

But would his conscious let him do that?

No. It wouldn't.

'I'm going to regret this, I can just feel it…'

He paced back over to the Zabraks body and which was still lying on its side away from him. He dropped to his knees and placed his hands on the man's back over the hole in his body and could feel the power of the Living Force flow through his own body and out of it again like he was a conductor for the energy he was creating. But it didn't come to his aid, no, he willed it to come to Mortuary's.

There wasn't a whole lot he could do, a serious wound like this would take a full day with the Force to heal and that was time he just didn't have. Still, if he could just ease the pain even a little he was confident Mortuary would recover on his own.

If this battle taught him anything it's that Zabraks were annoyingly stubborn like that.

After a few minutes Appius finished what he was doing. He stood and activated his C1 Personal Comlink which was connected to Lawrence, his astromech droid connected to his ship on the beach not too far from his current location.

"Lawrence, get the ship ready. We're leaving."

He closed the communication as quickly as he opened it. He gave the body one last glance over before leaving and then he left the dense forests and canopies of Kashyyyk behind him. He needed to be quick, it wouldn't be long before Mortuary was up again and no doubt pursued him.

One lone thought occupied his mind, however…

Someone, somewhere is going to have to answer for all of this but he had a strange feeling he'd see Mortuary again.

This wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

Grot, 5 October, 2019 4:39 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways

You make the combat really kinetic and interesting. Theres definitely a sense of energy and excitement as these two battle it out, and you deserve some praise for managing that when both characters use such a steady, defensive style.

Can Be Improved

Syntax issues continue to be a major problem. A proofer is highly reccomended.

Realism wise there were a couple things I had a problem with. Firstly, Appius's use of TK in this post seems beyond what he could manage in this situation. Hes heavily injured, and under a massive amount of stress. With only +2 in TK he wouldnt really be able to summon his lightsaber to him in the midst of such a situation. That sort of usage usually calls for at least +3.

Secondly, when Mortuary was struck by Force lightning its stated he didn't have any time or ability to react, even with the Force warning him. This, however, is just not supported by Mortuary's character sheet. He has barrier at +3 which let's him raise a barrier "instantaneously" in the middle of combat, and has several feats related to this power. He should have been more than capable of reacting to this sort of attack, and I felt his abilities were really done a disservice.

Mortuary Djale strode forward with a sneer. He discarded his riot shield to the side and gripped his saber with both hands. The zabrak knew that a fight between two Soresu users could last quite a long time, time he could not afford to spend. There was still far too much work to be done in cleaning up after the mess with the Severian Principate, he needed to end this fight and bring Appius in immediately.

Mortuary knew the only way to beat Appius was to take the initiative. While acting so aggressively grated against how he preferred to fight, there was no one here he had to protect, so he could afford to be a bit reckless.

The zabrak let the Force flow through him, rippling down his lower body. He pushed against the ground with his left foot, indenting the forest floor and propelling him forward at considerable speed. He raised his saber above his head and swung downwards towards Appius head.

Appius reacted almost instantly, gripping his saber with both hands. He swung his saber upwards, catching the blow but being forced back a step from the force behind the swing. The human was soon forced to give ground to the relentless series of strikes that came from his opponent.

“I can do this all day Appius. How long will it be until you make a mistake? What error will cost you life and limb?” The zabrak coldly stated.

“I’m telling you I am innocent!” The human exclaimed. “Why can’t we just talk about this?”

Mortuary scoffed. “The time for talking is over Appius. I gave you the chance to come quietly; you made your decision.”

The Zabrak resumed the conflict, swinging his saber from different angles to test Appius defenses. He pretended to swing towards Appius lower body, only to pivot on his left foot and swing towards the human’s midsection instead.

Appius is not so easily fooled, catching the blade upon his saber and directing the momentum away from his body.

Mortuary took a deep breath, the constant offense is beginning to affect him, albeit briefly. He takes advantage of the lull in combat to take a closer look at Appius. While not forced to move nearly as much as Mortuary, the human was clearly breathing harder; no doubt due to the difference in conditioning between the two.

Mortuary rushed forwards, telegraphing a downward swing, knowing that Appius would block it. When the human brought his saber to intercept Mortuary shifted his body to the right and pushed the saber downward, forcing Appius into a blade lock.

The beams of amethyst and emerald slid against one another, as their wielders struggled to gain an advantage. The larger zabrak was physically stronger and began to gain the upper hand, his purple blade lowering closer to Appius face. Realizing that he had to act quickly; the human let go of the saber with his left hand; making a claw and pulling the arm towards him. A root from one of the massive Wroshyr trees flew towards Mortuary, wrapping around his body and immobilizing him.

The zabrak snarled, and pushed his saber upward into the root, slowly cutting his way free. Too impatient to wait for it to finish, he pooled the Force within his body and ripped out of the root. The exertion cost him, and it was with panting breaths that he looked upon his foe.

“Appi…”

A bolt of Force Lightning slammed into Mortuary’s chest, throwing him to the forest floor. His body rolled with the impact, his saber fell out of his hand. The zabrak lunged for the saber, only for another bolt of Force Lightning to slam into his side. Mortuary howled in pain, thrashing and squirming on the ground, desperate to distract himself from the fire which raced within his nerves.

“Huff...huff” Appius panted from his successive use of the Force in such a short time. “I was hoping to avoid having to do that.”

The human deactivated his saber and placed it on his belt. He took a seat on the forest floor and made eye contact with Mortuary, who glared from his prone position.

“Now look, I get that you’ve probably had a really rough day, with all the spyhunting and being electrocuted. I’ll agree to go with you, but only on my terms. Let me speak to Declan before any sort of kangaroo court the Brotherhood throws together to try to convict me. I’d go with you to your ship now, but its clear you are in no condition to walk right now.”

The zabrak struggled to get to his knees, his limbs shaking from the aftereffects of the lightning, only to collapse back into the dirt.

“I’m going to speak with Declan now and clear up this misunderstanding. You can stay there and think about the danger you put us in by jumping to conclusions.”

The human walked off to his ship, leaving the zabrak to find his own way back.

Grot, 5 October, 2019 4:50 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Some really great back and forth combat kept me consistently engaged through the post.

Can be Improved

Syntax is a bit of an issue. Repeated mistakes with commas and sentence structure drag down the reading, and it could have really benefitted from some proofing.

Continuity wise there's a persistent mistake with setting the fight on the "forest floor" . Always make sure to pay close attention to the match details.

The use of TK to pull a root out of the ground and wrap it around Appius felt really out of the realm of realism to me. Roots are big, thick, and strong especially for trees this big. They'd be buried super deeply in the ground and take a metric ton of energy to remove (anyone whose ever had to dig out a tree stump can testify). If it were rotted, or simply a tree vine, I could see it potentially, but as it stands this feat should be way beyond Mortuary, or almost any Force user.