This is a terrible idea, was one of many thoughts that passed through the Juggernaut’s mind as he took measured steps backward. Karran shut off his saber, putting it away for this exercise in madness. He breathed deeply through his nostrils, jaw clenched as the Force flood his body, suffusing his muscles and strengthening him. His footsteps pounded against the old, wooden platform as he charged forward, sweat glistening on his crowned brow.
I can make this jump, he reaffirmed to himself. Make it and then throttle that slippery little womprat and drag him back to Selen.
When Karran reached the edge of the platform, his body’s momentum and a planned Force-assisted ‘kick’ off the edge, he was surprised to see the Ryn appeared to have stopped running. He was still on the platform below, the same one Val’teo planned on jumping to. He saw a slim, gray hand raise into the air, middle finger and thumb pressed together and a grin on his bearded face. Bleu snapped his fingers just as Karran’s foot hit the edge of the platform, the Force a torrent that was prepared to propel him forward.
Except it suddenly felt less a rush of power and more a sad trickle, as if the tap had been twisted shut. Karran let out a yell as he flew off the platform, his momentum committing him and his options limited. He arced through the air, his physical power still carrying him an impressive distance towards the other platform. And then below it, his eyes widening as he threw his arms in front of his falling body as he entered the realm of tree branches. The growths whipped against his exposed arms, tearing and scratching at him. He felt the Force return to him, abruptly, and he drew it inside of himself once more, mind racing for options. A much larger branch was approaching, and while Karran wasn’t a student of physics per se, he understood what velocity meant when punching things. He suspected slamming into the platform supporting growth would not end well.
Desperation brought both of the Zabrak’s palms forward, the Force pushing out towards the oncoming branch. He steeled his body, the same as if he was about to be struck by an opponent more worthy then the blasted, fleeing Ryn. His efforts to slow himself seemed to work, but the impact on the tree branch was still jarring. And painful, skipping across the wide bit of natural wood and tumbling.
“Ow,” he groaned, pushing up to a sitting position and doing a mental inventory for anything broken. Everything hurt, most of all though was his pride, his brown eyes rising towards the platform above, where he suspected Kordath still was. He slowly got to his feet and looked towards the trunk of the tree, a resolute and grim look on his face as he saw the steps carved into the side. He limped, the Force pulsing from his core towards his extremities, soothing the aches.
Above, Kordath Bleu stretched and caught his breath, yawning as the exertion of the whole debacle caught up with him.
“Tha witch sent him after me, guess she was a part o’ tryin’ ta kill me off,” he muttered to himself, looking around for a way to return to his camp. He scratched at the back of his head and sighed; going further down was a bad idea, that’s where he’d seen the big spiders and other beasties. “Kark me.”
He could still feel Karran out there. That was fine, he hadn’t wanted to kill the kid for following orders, gods knew Bleu had sent people off on questionable missions while Shadow Lord.
“Maybe he learned somethin’ from all this,” he mused aloud, heading towards the center of the platform. Maybe if he could get high enough he could grapple-swing his way across— the hum of a lightsaber filled the air and the Ryn stopped in his tracks. “Ah, come on lad, have ya nae taken enough o’ a beatin’ today? Quit while yer walkin’.”
“Whole or in pieces, you’re coming back with me, Kordath,” came the tired voice of the ascending Sith. The stairs brought him around the tree and onto the platform, eyes focused on the former Consul. “I’m starting to feel okay with pieces, honestly.”
“Ya look like someone switched ya, lad,” said Kord, looking over the many scratches and gashes that covered the man’s arms. He backed up, hand dropping to his hip to grasp the hilt of the dagger there. “I do nae wish ta kill ya, kid. Just go back and tell Vasano I got away, yeah? Tell Zuji that last ya saw, I was whole and hearty, give her some peace of mind.”
The Sith didn’t bother retorting, instead, he lunged forward with the crimson blade. Kordath barely knocked the strike aside, only his natural dexterity and trust in the Force keeping him from being skewered. The follow-up swings were similarly blocked or dodged, the buzzing saber sounding like angry insects protecting their hive. The Ryn was sweating; the bigger Arconan was more the warrior on this front then he, it was obvious, but he hadn’t survived this long by fighting straight up. He ducked another blow that would have removed his shoulders and everything above it and kicked out at the Zabrak’s leg. The boot hit shin, but Karran simply stared at him with derision, his body not even budging.
Oh, kark me, thought Bleu, shifting mental gears. “Fine!”
“You’re surrendering?” asked Val’teo, looking confused and suspicious. “At this point, I’m not sure— AGH!”
Kordath cut the man off with a lifted palm which let out a brilliant flash of light, before turning to run once more. The Sith covered his eyes with one bloodied forearm, the one holding his saber hilt, and threw his other hand forward. They’d played this game already, with the damned flash grenade, he wasn’t stupid. A wave of energy pushed out from his hand, a blind and undirected assault that still managed to draw a yelp from the fleeing Ryn. Kordath hit the platform’s pitted and dry surface as he felt what the telekinetic strike from behind. He scrambled, feet pushing to gain purchase while he tried to both sheaths his dagger and pull his grapple hook free. It wasn’t the most graceful retreat he’d taken part in, but the Force was screaming at him to ‘go now’ or lose bits he was rather fond of.
Behind him was the measured steps of boots on wood, even as the Ryn managed to free his hook and swing it up towards a branch at random. His gaze swept the forest, spotting another platform further down. He didn’t like the idea of getting closer to the surface, but…
“Not again,” growled Karran, watching the Ryn wrap the rope around his hands and leap off into the verdant void. He cocked back his saber arm and threw, the weapon spinning out into the air.
Kordath felt an icy chill down his spine, as his Force driven senses made a strong case for him to dodge. He looked back up in time to see the scarlet spinning saber and realized he had nowhere to go.
“Oh no,” he sighed, closing his eyes as the weapon sliced cleaning through his rope, and momentum carried him forward towards the platform below. He tried to go limp, he tried to fight the urge to brace for impact. The Ryn hit the platform without much grace, but, with a lot of noises and a blood-curdling scream. He lay limp where he landed, darkness closing in as pain overwhelmed his senses.
Above, Karran took a deep breath, his saber slapping back into his extended hand, and shook his head. Now he had to find a way down to recover his quarry.
“Long day,” he muttered to himself.
What Went Well
Your story was strong from the get-go, giving Karran both internal and external motivation for getting the job done. The combat was exciting and had plenty of variety, and your grammar was generally good.
Room for Growth
You had a few oddities in syntax, like “listen to a response” instead of “listen for a response”, and one spot where you had a sentence fragment that could’ve been a clause of the previous sentence (“I am no one’s dog. But I was ordered to bring you home.” vs. “I am no one’s dog, but I was ordered to bring you home.”).
On the Realism front, I had a small issue with how you portrayed Kordath’s flash grenade. The item description does say that it emits a small amount of concussive force, but a “small amount” is more likely to make Karran stumble or stagger backward than send him flying, so you lost a bit of Realism for that. (Alternatively, an explosive powerful enough to send Karran flying would very likely also have injured him, and possibly damaged the platform around him, which didn’t seem to be the case.) It also seemed a little odd to me that Karran’s Precognition didn’t warn him of Kordath’s first punch. It’s entirely possible that the warning wouldn’t have been enough to allow Karran to dodge the attack, but it wasn’t explained clearly either way.
Suggestions
Getting someone to proof your posts is great when possible; the syntax mistakes here are the kind of thing a spellchecker wouldn’t catch. (If someone did proof your post and didn’t catch those, shame on them. :P) Double-check the descriptions of the items in your opponent’s loadouts.