One Marauder-class Corvette remained in the space just above the Togrutan homeworld of Shili before a single jet black Kom'rk class fighter launched out of the capital ships hangar bay and broke through the orange hued planets atmosphere. Upon reaching ground level the Kom'rk committed to a corellian drift and took down a small number of trees that still inhabited the Savannah they landed in. Dust rose from the ground and surrounded the ship like an unbreathable fog. Once it settled, the ramp to the Kom'rk class fighter lowered and two figures began to descend down onto the cooled sunset lit sand. They were followed immediately by a IG-RM Thug Droid.
"I don't see what your problem is, master. Ted can handle himself just fine," spoke the first individual in protest. His name was Trenkyp Zkig, a tall Kel Dor and Jedi Defender associated with Clan Vizsla.
"Akul are dangerous creatures, Trenkyp. The utmost caution needs to be taken and I'm not sure if a standard thug droid is appropriate for something like this. Are you absolutely insistent on it coming with us?" Asked the second individual, a tall, slender man wearing personalized Mandalorian armor. His voice was altered and made deeper by some device hidden within his helmet. He was Appius Wight, Vizsla's first Knight, Sorcerer and the master of the Kel Dor accompanying him.
"Yes."
That single word of defiance from his apprentice caused the Force Disciples head to slump for a moment before he reached for his WESTAR 35 Blaster Pistol attached to his waist.
"Fine, he can take this then. I just hope he's as capable as you say he is," he said, having a sudden bad feeling overcome him about the situation. He held out the pistol and the thug droid, known as N0-TED or Ted for short, took the deadly weapon without so much as a second thought within its circuits.
Appius withdrew his Brotherhood-issued Inquisitorius Datapad and looked over the mission details carefully. The client for this particular mission had paid for House Wren to eliminate a pack of Akul that had overbred and overtaken the area they were situated in. Akul were vicious creatures. Quadrupedal, large with orange fur, and teeth sharp enough to give durasteel a run for its money. They were the natural apex predators on Shili so it was no surprise to Appius then that the Client, a Togrutan, wanted the nearby nesting ground eliminated. The Togrutan's feared these creatures the most. Fairytales of evil demons described just like them were often told in mythos and stories across the planet and killing one was considered an act of bravery, strength and courage. The creatures had reportedly overrun a nearby village not too long ago leaving no-one alive. Men, women and children were all devoured by the hunters of this world.
"It doesn't seem like they are here," Trenkyp said dejectedly.
Appius turned to the younger man behind him and smiled behind his T-shaped visor. "Remember your first lesson."
"Never jump to conclusions," the Kel Dor stated back sarcastically drawing quotation marks in the air with his fingers. It was a lesson Appius often liked to repeat to him. "Are you ok with doing this? Wiping out a nest of creatures in their own home?"
The question caused the Sorcerer to pause in steps and ponder for a moment.
"I do what I do because I'm loyal to my Clan, House and Battleteam. Is this unfortunate? Yes, of course it is. Do I want to do this? No, no I do not. But it's what has been asked of us and at the end of the day, these Akul have slaughtered a village of Togruta. So there's a silver lining to this somewhere at least. Regardless of how small it is," Appius responded and even behind the voice altering mechanism in his helmet the Defender could detect a hint of sadness in his master's voice. Whether or not Appius had regrets about the actions they were about to commit remained to be seen. One thing was for certain however, Trenkyp couldn't see the silver lining, not at all.
15 minutes later.
"We're here." Appius stated quietly as the two Force users carefully kept their distance from the nesting grounds of the Akul. To the two of them, it was no surprise that they had overrun the nearby Togrutan village. By their estimation there were at least ten, potentially more and they were notoriously dangerous. Several smaller Akul appeared to be dropping bloody pieces of Togrutan flesh around the feet of the largest Akul, the alpha female. She was at least double the size of the rest. Appius and Trenkyp dropped to the tall and wispy Turu-grass and attempted to remain unseen. Unfortunately for them, this all appeared to be futile as the Thug droids metal feet stamped past their heads and proceeded onwards towards its objective.
"What is it doing!?" Appius asked angrily.
N0-TED was programmed with predatory inclinations and as such, when it saw its prey it had to go on the hunt. The Sorcerer received his answer very quickly when the droid aimed the WESTAR 35 towards the pack of Akul's and fired. The blaster bolt embedded into the tree above the pack leaders head, instantly alerting them to their presence. The leader arched its head into the sky and let out an ear destroying shriek.
"That doesn't sound good," Trenkyp declared. The ground shook as a small horde of Akul began to stampede at them from the nest. Ted fired the blaster once again, scoring a head shot before being overwhelmed by two that jumped at the droid and knocked it off his feet.
"Kark!" Appius shouted, his jetpack roared to life as he ascended fifteen feet into the sky to get a better vantage point. Unfortunately, the grass was perfect camouflage for the orange furred beasts below and tracking their movements was insanely difficult.
Trenkyp grabbed his lightsaber from his waist and instantly activated it. The Force was with him however, as it probed the back of his mind and warned him of one the Akul leaping at him like a ferocious cat. He instantly rolled to the side and used his lightsaber to slice through its abdomen. Blood spilled out onto the Savannah floor as the beast drew its last breath. However, he was quickly surrounded by two more and one instantly jumped at him. so he was forced to call upon the mysterious power he was trained in to power his speed, he rolled out of the way again just in time. Coming to a stop, a warning screamed into his head and the Kel Dor threw his hand up on instinct. Another Akul slammed into an invisible wall that separated it from the Defender. The impact from the beasts momentum made him stagger back several paces and his quick successive use of the Force had suddenly drained him physically.
Seeing his apprentice was in trouble, Appius called upon the Force and his father's lightsaber floated to the palm of his right hand. He cut the power to his jetpack and descended quickly to land on top of the closest Akul to Trenkyp. Activating his own blade , sapphire met the neck of the beast, dropping it to the ground in an instant. The Force then screamed a warning to the back of the Sorcerer's mind but as he turned to address what gave him the warning he was jumped by another of the packs Akul which pinned him to the ground and applied it's full force against him.
"Appius!" Cried Trenkyp as he rushed to aid his master before the monsters jaw could bite into him.
Positive Takeaways
You had a pretty solid explanation for why you and Trenkyp were on Shili, and had a nice bit of combat/action.
Can Be Improved
Word variety. Your first paragraph of combat involved ‘instant’ or ‘in an instant’ or ‘instantly’ at least three times, this can cause a looping effect for the reader and is also very bland as a descriptor. Every instance of Precognition was described the same way as well. On the Syntax front, you were lacking some commas that made sentences more clear and grammatically correct. Often times these were where you would have one of the two commas required (example, I often use the word ‘instead’ in my writing, often this needs a comma before AND after to be grammatically correct. Say stuff aloud when you’re putting in commas to figure out if there’s a break)
Beyond that, you seemed to have trouble with possessive apostrophes and when to use them (the monsters(‘)s jaw, its vs it’s, the former being proper for showing possession, which is opposite of how it works for every other word but welcome to English) Also you should try to expand more on your combat details, this was a lot of telling but not showing, which is kind of the opposite of what you need to be doing.