Augur Mune Cinteroph vs. Mystic Appius Wight

Augur Mune Cinteroph

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Scholae Palatinae
Male Shistavanen, Force Disciple, Arcanist, Krath
vs.

Mystic Appius Wight

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Taldryan
Male Human, Force Disciple, Sorcerer, Mandalorian
Comment

Thank you both for participating in the ACC and for your patience during the grading process. This match was from start to finish a true pleasure to read. The sheer amount of literary skill on display in this match is nothing short of championship tournament level stuff. You should both feel a deep sense of pride for the work you put into this match.

Syntax was exceptionally clean across the board with only a few minor errors and stray misspellings. There are some syntax items that are left to member preference like British vs American spelling or capitalizing “human” for example. In those cases the rule becomes remaining consistent across your posts. Again, the errors present were very minor so get your proofers a thank you card.

Story was strong across both competitors with some room for improvement on each side. Both authors had exquisite descriptive language that painted a vivid picture in the mind of the reader what was going on. Tiny details were added strategically to make the imagery pop off the page (well, screen). Combat was engaging in all four posts and Force powers were employed creatively. The pacing overall was strong from both competitors, though consider trimming the dialogue down a smidge in future matches. While the story strengths were fairly consistent between both of you, the weaknesses were what set you apart. Mune struggled with setting up and concluding the conflict between the characters while Appius stumbled with an inconsistent portrayal of Mune’s character. Ultimately advantage in story went to Appius because structurally he deepened the character conflict in his first post and gave it a decisive conclusion in his final post.

While I try to give the benefit of the doubt to members in regards to realism, e.g. interpreting unclear passages in a way that will avoid a realism error, the mid-combat Force vision simply stretched the Farsight power too far, and unfortunately, that was a minor realism error on Appius’ part.

The scores in this match being as close as they are speak volumes of both competitors. High-level matches are often decided by one or two slip-ups. Again, both of you can take pride in what you accomplished here. I certainly look forward to seeing more from each of you in the ACC.

Mune Cinteroph is the winner

Hall Duelist Hall - Ranked
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Augur Mune Cinteroph, Mystic Appius Wight
Winner Augur Mune Cinteroph
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Augur Mune Cinteroph's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Mystic Appius Wight's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Kalsunor: Massassi Arena
Last Post 1 August, 2020 1:15 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Adept Mune Cinteroph Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 4 (Advantage) Score: 4
Rationale: Very minor errors Rationale: Generally very clean syntax but slightly more errors than your opponent.
Story - 40%
Adept Mune Cinteroph Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 4 Score: 4 (Advantage)
Rationale: Your posts were detailed, creative and engaging. What hurt you in both instances was the overall conflict between the characters. Your opening was unclear in establishing the conflict and your ending didn’t resolve the conflict. Rationale: While your posts did get a bit on the dialogue-heavy side your imagery, combat depictions and overall plot elements were vivid. Your depiction of Mune in the final scene derailed the story a little.
Realism - 25%
Adept Mune Cinteroph Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: No errors that I could see. Rationale: You had an issue with Farsight usage and a close call (didn’t count as an error but close) on “forcing a wave of energy.” See my comments on those posts.
Continuity - 20%
Adept Mune Cinteroph Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No errors that I could see. Rationale: No errors that I could see.
Adept Mune Cinteroph's Score: 4.52 Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson's Score: 4.4
Posts

Kalsunor Massassi Arena

Elevated over a ravine, the Massassi Arena has withstood the tests of time. It is arranged in a circular formation and made by a slab of stone that connects the opposite slopes of the ravine. On its eastern side, the floating arena leads to a staircase and into a near-vertical cliff face. Because of its nearly unsupported vantage that overlooks a several hundred-meter fall, even the smallest creatures can feel the occasional motion the platform makes as the breeze brushes across its cold surface.

Adding to the adrenaline rush of standing within the slab’s concentric patterns carved into the rock, barriers and obstacles echo the Massassi’s commitment to taking every advantage over their opponents. Pillars ring the outer edge without guardrails linking them, some remaining intact and others having toppled into the arena or over the perilous heights to the ground far below. Weeds and other flora cover each surface as nature seeks to reclaim the ravine and eventually send the arena itself to the depths.

A creaky rope-bridge leads away towards another ancient suspended platform with the same weathered, upturned stones. Mossy footing, and uneven ground make each of these platforms unique in small subtle ways. While there is no seating for formal spectators, the ancient stones of the Massassi Arena hold an omniscient, aged wisdom that speak to the things they have seen and the battles fought through history.

A third rope-bridge leads to yet another platform, completing the triad of battlegrounds that make up the Massassi Arena.

A wind whistled softly through the ancient ravine, sending ferns and leaves whispering in its passing. Night hung like a veil upon the ancient trees and buildings, an inky void broken only by the pregnant moon hung heavy against a backdrop of glittering stars. The brilliant luminescence gleamed within the ruby eyes of a lone figure, perched upon a shattered column. The wind rustled his dark robes, tussled the thick fur of his tail and drew the scent of the wild through a vulpine nose. It was not a scent that drew his attention towards the stairs opposite his vigil, but the presence that pressed against his mind like a subtle touch upon the shoulder. A Human, tall and pale, descended the final worn step to the ancient stone platform that acted as the arena once used by the Massassi in ages lost to time.

Mune got his feet under himself and rose fluidly. As was to be expected, the Human’s eyes could not help but find the Shistavanen, lit as he was by the moonlight. Silver light set his thick white fur to nearly glowing, what of it was left naked to the night. Human eyes widened but for a moment and the Shitavanen knew his robes had been recognized instantly for what they were: those worn by the Inquisitorius.

“I presume the invitation was from you?”

Mune drew back his cowl and his tall ears sprung up, the wind tussling the long fur between them. He studied the older Force Disciple, the Taldryan, sizing him up as though he could gauge the man’s battle competency at a glance. Appius, for his part, did not flinch under the fierce scrutiny of those vivid, ruby eyes. Their eyes met. Mune gazed deep into the vivid amber of Appius’ eyes and let a wry grin split his long muzzle.

“You presume correctly,” Mune answered in his warm voice. He watched Appius’ hand reach towards his lightsaber, the Shistavanen barking a slight laugh. “So quick to go for your weapon!”

The Taldryan’s hand hovered just above his weapon, his brow creased in a frown. “What do you want?” he finally demanded.

Mune squatted upon his perch, his eyes sparkling with mirth. He maintained eye contact, his thin black lips threatening to break out into a laughter-filled smile. I am making my fellow Equite nervous, he thought with some relish. He only asked with a touch of playfulness colouring his words, “Is it the robes? Do they frighten you?”

“You do not frighten me…”

“Mune. My name is Mune. Former Grand Admiral of Scholae Palatinae,” Mune tossed his old title out with a tone that made light of the office he once held.

“And…?”

And what?”

“Fine. We’ll pretend if that is what you want.” Appius unclipped his lightsaber.

Mune’s expression took on one reminiscent of a petulant child, though he could not hold the pout long before he grinned once more. He watched the Human take a step forward, a finger easing down towards the activator. Before the weapon could be activated, Mune’s grinning features sharpened into a severe look that stopped Appius mid-step. “You disappeared. I want to know where you were.”

Appius blinked, the question seeming to surprise him the Human.

In that moment of surprise, Mune rose to his full height, short though he was, and drew his own lightsabers. Their light cut the darkness in vivid violet and blue. The wind whistled past them, sending their robes and Appius’ cloak whipping around them. Appius reached out, his mind grabbing a hunk of debris, and hurled it in the breadth of seconds. Mune’s shoto was already being reversed in his right hand, freeing a couple of fingers to help his focus. The Force responded. The Human was already rushing, using the distraction to close with his opponent. So focussed was Appius on his distraction tactic that he did not see Mune take control of the flung debris, not in time.

Appius’ lightsaber ignited, emerald light crackling to life only to be extinguished again when he caught the broken up stone in the shoulder. His arm was made to go numb all at once, his lightsaber clattering over the cold stone of the platform. Surprise registered on his face. He watched his lightsaber clatter and spin away. His eyes came up to find Mune bearing down on him. He twisted, narrowly avoiding a vicious vertical cut.

Mune could tell when feeling returned to the Human’s arm, sensing Appius call the lightsaber back to hand. Just in time, the Taldryan reignited the weapon, emerald crashing into blue in an explosive cascade of crackling energy and light.

The Shistavanen felt his feet slide back some. Realization dawned. Appius realized it at the same moment and pressed the advantage. Mune felt the press of his opponent’s saber, his own muscles bunching. Appius got a second hand on his lightsaber. Mune frowned, quickly withdrawing in a hissing of plasma against plasma. He caught the Human’s arcing slash on his reversed shoto. With a quick twist, he disengaged from Appius and skidded backwards.

Appius turned his body sideways, his lightsaber held at the ready, daring Mune to attack.

“Where were you hiding, Wight?” Mune slowly circled but did not close with the other man. He studied the stance, the grip on his opponent’s lightsaber. He noted the style, as much as his greater physical strength. “What were you doing?”

“You seem to be insinuating that I may be a spy.” The Human could not keep the annoyance out of his voice.

“You disappear for no small bit of time. You reappear only when the Brotherhood is attacked…” There remained no shine of laughter within his ruby eyes. His eyes were narrowed, his ears laid back in a look that was all business. “You told no one where you were, what you were up to. Then disaster. War.”

“So you think I shared secrets for personal gain.”

“I only ask questions. I will save my thoughts, Wight.”

“Should I be honoured that someone of your office is questioning me personally?” Appius spat, his anger showing.

“I am but an agent of the Inquisitorius.”

“Sure,” Appius snorted.

Mune continued to circle. His mind calculated, worked out scenarios in his head, the beauty of the ruins far from his mind, assigned to the furthest recesses. He bolted forward. Appius moved to engage. His saber slashed outwards only to pass over his opponent. Mune had dropped into a slide. Appius did not even have a chance to think, he’s fast, before he was forced to twist uncomfortably to catch the blue plasma against his own green. It was only the Force that let him twist quick enough to dodge a stab from the shorter shoto lightsaber. The Human was forced to retreat.

Mune was quicker, though not by much, the Palatinaean mentally noted. He filed away that his opponent was definitely physically stronger, even taller, all advantages in the Human’s favour. He watched Appius’ twisting dodge. He sensed the saber thrust coming, aimed to take him in the right shoulder. He touched the Force, drew only what he needed to get the slightest increase to his already sharp reflexes. Appius saw the block coming, expected it. The flash of his saber caught against Mune’s primary lightsaber. Mune held it in a reversed grip, holding his opponent’s saber back.

“Your form is fantastic, Wight.”

“Better than yours… you are keeping up though.” Appius eyed the bestial figure through the cascading flashes of energy.

“I am,” Mune chuckled. “I’ve seen you fight. It is a pleasure to be able to trade blows like this.”

“Is that what this is about?”

“I’ve told you what this is about.”

Mune twisted out from under his opponent’s saber. Their weapons broke contact and the other night sounds came back to them. The wind. The sounds of varying fauna. In their own ears, the pounding of their hearts, their heavier breathing. Both shifted back into their stances, lightsabers at the ready for another round.

Champion Rajhin Cindertail, 27 September, 2020 2:35 AM UTC

Can Be Improved

Just in time, the Taldryan reignited the weapon, emerald crashing into blue in an explosive cascade of crackling energy and light.

It’s Taldryanite per the Fiction Center.

It is a pleasure to be able to trade blows like this.

At times the amount of dialogue made me question why the characters were fighting in the first place. Was Mune there to interrogate Appius? Apprehend him? Take him out? Mystery can be a strong story element but the tone of their conversation combined with the lack of a clear purpose for Mune leaves me as the reader wondering why they are fighting in the first place which is not what you want out of an opening post.

Their lightsabers lit up the ground around them in a beautiful display of emerald, violet and aquamarine as they remained apart from one another like two dancers preparing for their nightly performance. The Scholae Palatinae member kept his left-hand blade held in front of him, the brilliant blue serving as a stark contrast to the purple shoto which was held above his head in his off-hand, pointing in the opposite direction.

The Taldryanite held his green coloured blade back in a one-handed grip, angled forwards towards the smaller being with his blade arm held parallel.

Then, just as the Sorcerer glanced upon the serious look placed upon the small Shistavanen glistening white face, the jaded blade retracted back into the hilt as he deactivated his weapon. The Human placed the object back onto his waist and remained standing there, seemingly unarmed and even defenceless.

Mune knew better. He'd observed the man in plenty of battles before and simply surrendering was not his style. He gripped his curved hilts tighter in his hands, his tail wafting behind him in rhythm with the wind that brushed past their faces as he watched and analyzed any potential outcome that might occur.

That was when the Human smiled, the feature on his face stretched into a giant toothy grin as his amber eyes glared into the glistening ruby eyes of the wolf-like being.

"Hey Mune," the Human spoke, teasing him with his words like the younger man was a child. "Think fast."

Those two words brought with it a sense of foreboding to the Arcanist, the chill causing parts of his fur stand on end like snow was about to breach the night sky. The Dark Jedi raised both arms, wrapping it around one of the Massassi Arena pillars like a powerful chain. The structure was old and withered by time and rainstorms as it crashed down upon the ruby-eyed man and threatened to flatten him under centuries of rubble and decay.

Thankfully for Mune, the Force was his ally and it whispered its warnings to the back of his mind. He leapt out of the way of impending doom. The crash shattered and destroyed the silent majesty of the arena in a single moment as dust and debris kicked up into the air as it clung to his fur, leaving patches of light brown amidst once pristine silver.

Mune recomposed himself as a warning from the Force breached his mind once again. He faced the tall Human and suddenly called upon the power of an invisible shield to protect him from the jets of white and blue that streaked towards him like deadly electric arrows. Mune remained firm for a few moments as the sparks dissipated into nothingness, his defence lowered, and that was when he felt the distinct sense of threat from the Force once again after a very familiar snap-hiss destroyed the sound of silence. He didn't have time to look, instead, he trusted his instincts as he jumped over the incoming projectile as it whirled underneath him. It clipped a few strands of fur at the very end of his tail as the weapon arched through the air and returned to its owner's hand.

"Well, what do you know! You're a dog that can do tricks," the Human declared mockingly.

"I will make you talk, Wight," Mune responded, his words calm and soothing, even despite the adrenaline that pumped through him. "I have already foreseen the outcome of our confrontation. Your defeat is inevitable."

Appius blinked for a few moments before letting out an incredibly exasperated groan.

"Another frakking seer!?" he bellowed. "Seriously, what is it with you people? Why can't you just leave me alone!?"

"You can't escape destiny, Appius. You will tell me where you've been and what you've been doing."

"Escape?" replied Appius. "Who says I'm trying to escape? No, I'm embracing it. Besides, aren't you the one that said you were looking forward to a fight?"

The Augur in front of him shrugged and swayed excitedly like a child enjoying a brand new toy. "Perhaps."

The smaller man shifted his feet on the ground, ready to pounce at the larger Force Disciple and resume combat, though he hesitated when he observed his opponent give him a wide toothy grin. Was he really that confident? Or was something else at play here?

The answer came right before his eyes, literally. The delay in combat gave the Sorcerer ample time to prepare one of his many tricks. A supernova burst in front of Mune's eyes, his retinas shrunk and pained from viewing it directly. He covered his eyes with his forearms and tensed his body to try and shake the feeling away as water formed like rivers in his bloodshot ruby eyes.

The Force alarmed him of the danger, though still blinded, he was unable to avoid the threat himself as he felt an invisible clasp wrap around his throat and lift him a few feet into the air. Just as his vision was beginning to return to normal it began to blur, his muscles burned and his large, sensitive ears began to pick up a ringing sound. He gasped desperately and yet, as he tread the line between consciousness and unconsciousness he could see it all happening before him. The area lit ablaze by fire, the Sorcerer's eyes turning red like the sands of Moraband, the two of them locked in an epic duel amongst the flames, battered, bruised, and nearly broken. But what stood out most was the broken bonding ring, split in two as he could only just make out the initials C.W upon it alongside the corpse of a Togorian beside it that lay motionless.

NO!

Mune screamed the thought in his mind as he was flung from one platform directly over to the other across the bridge. He rolled across the hard ground, coming to a stop at the very edge of the platform before a large drop. The moon hung directly above and illuminated this particular platform in an ethereal glow. The sound of the nearby waterfall roared nearby and sprayed a cooling mist over onto the platform which provided sustenance to the lush greenery that called this ancient arena their home.

He rubbed his throat and coughed up saliva as his body gained the oxygen it craved only a couple of minutes prior. The sound of footsteps landing just a few feet away broke him from his stupor: it was Appius, having followed him over the bridge. The Arcanist gripped his lightsabers in his hands and snarled at the man before him.

"Aww, I was aiming for the waterfall," Appius said, glaring down at the Shistavanen on one knee. Through the Force, he could feel an intense shift of emotion occur through the younger man. Gone was the confident, calm demeanour, replaced with an intense fire and anger that the Sorcerer hadn't sensed from the younger man up to this point, his ears and tail twitched and his breathing hard. "Something wrong?" Appius asked, his own breathing more ragged as a result of the conflict so far.

"You… you don't care, do you? Everything is just a matter of inconsequence to you. Leaving, returning, the destruction and carnage you cause in your wake at the complete disregard to those around you."

"You want to talk to me about disregard? You are from Clan Scholae Palatinae. A clan famous to me for being a carbon copy of the Galactic Empire. Empire lite, Empire two-point-oh. You can't sit there and lecture me about morality when you ignore your own clan's shortcomings," Appius replied bluntly, his words like sharp knives into the younger man's soul. "I feel bad In a way. You were the one who let me back into the Brotherhood, approved my return to Taldryan, and as thanks, I'm going to kill you. Oh well, at least I can make a fur coat out of your corpse. I'll send it to Howie as an apology."

Mune's headed darted up, his ruby eyes angered and his pupils dilated. He had heard enough. He ignited his weapons, a brilliant aquamarine and violet burst among the moonlight as Mune charged towards the Human with lethal intent.

Appius barely had time to dodge before the smaller man was upon him. He drew his own weapon to meet his opponent's twin blades that formed a myriad of strikes against him, a cascade of violet and blue crashing into the Sorcerer's green with as much agility and power that Mune could throw at him.

The Human bit his lip and flicked his wrist to meet each strike that came his way within milliseconds of each other. He was being pushed back, closer and closer to the edge and suddenly he became acutely aware of the vast drip behind him. He called upon the Force, and with a sudden burst of agility, he flipped over Mune before the Augur could cut him down at the knees. Landing behind him, he planned to swipe him down before the Arcanist had a chance to retaliate.

Yet, sometimes, plans don't always come to fruition, and Mune was just that little bit faster, that little bit more agile, and the Force had already warned him of Appius' intent before he made his attack. The more nimble man twisted on the spot and met Appius' blade with his shoto, catching the weapon and capitalising with his main hand lightsaber.

Appius dropped his weapon, the Force alerting him to the fact he was about to be beheaded and he staggered back, narrowly dodging the strike as aquamarine skimmed past the bridge of his nose. Sparks illuminated his hands as he prepared to unleash his fury upon his opponent, but Mune beat him to the punch. With an outstretched hand, the Augur forced a powerful torrent of air directly into the Taldryanite's sternum. It was unlike anything Appius had ever experienced. Even as a Sorcerer, this was far more powerful than anything he could conjure as he was sent careening back into one of the few buildings that still graced the edge of the platform. He crashed spine-first and gasped at the pain that spread through from the intense pressure. He dropped unceremoniously to the ground and laid there almost motionless as he tried to recuperate from the impact.

Mune placed his right foot on the Human's weapon and waited until his opponent glanced at him. As soon as Appius summoned the strength to look at him, the Shistavanen shoved the object over the edge of the cliff, much to the suddenly horrified look on Appius' face.

Mune held out his arms, his weapons still ignited in his hands, a clear 'what now?' gesture to the man in front of him. The tall Human slowly rose to his feet, his face twinged with pain as he finally managed to stand up straight.

"You've been holding out on me, Mune." he said, glaring into the Scholae Palatinae member's ruby eyes. Sparks ignited in his fingertips as his amber eyes became more intense, like a fire building within them. "If that's the way you want to play, then so be it," he said, completely serious and full of malice.

In response, Mune held firm and positioned himself once again for the Sorcerer's attacks.

"Bring it," was all he replied.

Champion Rajhin Cindertail, 27 September, 2020 2:36 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

You're a dog that can do tricks," the Human declared mockingly.

I admit, that line got a sensible chuckle out of me.

Overall this post had a plethora of tiny details in the descriptions that made the scenes pop off the page.

"I have already foreseen the outcome of our confrontation. Your defeat is inevitable."

This is an example of where you integrated your opponent’s CS and background into the match in such a way as to strengthen the story. It’s clear you did your homework on your opponent.


Can Be Improved

He gasped desperately and yet, as he tread the line between consciousness and unconsciousness he could see it all happening before him.

I see what you were trying to do here and for establishing plot and conflict I think it served you well to give Mune a personal stake in this confrontation. However, Farsight isn’t the kind of power that would trigger in combat like that. The power description specifically mentions it typically needing long meditation sessions. This is a minor realism detractor. You could have achieved the same goal for your plot by having a vision occur before the fight and revealing that was Mune’s real reason for confronting Appius.

You were the one who let me back into the Brotherhood, approved my return to Taldryan,

Not something that affects scores but it just feels odd to reference someone’s DC staff work in character. Unlike clan summit positions DC staff positions are in this gray area where members can reference them in character or not. Typically I do not. I do not know if you ran this by Mune or not but just be aware that’s an area of personal preference for members.

The Shistavanen drew a deep, grounding breath. With the inhalation, he drew in the Force to fill his being, like water filling a vessel. He was awash in it, he felt it like a background hum through his bones. Rather than throw water upon the embers of the rage Appius had ignited in him, he drew away some of the heat and calmed it to smouldering embers. He sensed the fury that Appius wrapped himself in, a twisting, snarling thing and knew he himself could be as easily warped if he allowed it.

In the blink of an eye, a screaming cavalcade of vicious lightning forked and scorched the air it passed through. The scent of burnt ozone filled Mune’s next breath, and he was given the fraction of a second to react. The shock of the power crashing upon his defensive shoto made the muscles in his right arm tense with the mild strain. The energy roared like some feral beast bent on stripping flesh from the warm body of its prey. Mune’s eyes squinted against the harsh flashing of electricity, to see the exertion that beaded sweat upon the brow of the Human facing him.

“You allow your rage to ride you. To control you,” Mune raised his voice to be heard over the snarl of electrical energy that danced up and down his shoto. “If you continue down this path, it will consume you.”

“Let it!” Appius spat.

“To what end? Is that your desire? To be lost to it? To be no more than the rage that roars through your veins?”

“Do not speak to me as if you know me! As if you understand me!” Appius’ eyes blazed.

The stream of crackling energy ceased abruptly. Appius’ breathing came with a little more effort, sweat running in rivulets down his face. The verbose show of power had left him more tired than he had thought, but Mune wearier. He felt more than knew that the Human had more in him, if not much more.

The rage was fire within his eyes. It was a fire that burned trails through his blood. He drew upon the Force, feeding it the fuel of his fury like coal to an inferno. Appius summoned the same crackling energy back to his fingertips and unleashed it in a renewed torrent. Mune dropped his shoto and drew upon his refilled reservoirs to throw the freed hand forward. Broken crockery, cracked stone, and ancient brick were lifted from their resting places to fill the space between Taldryan and Palatinaean. The debris exploded into a rain of dust and smaller bits of stone. Appius flinched back, the flare of power dispersing amongst the shrapnel. Mune charged forward through the cloud, not one to waste the seconds of confusion he had bought. His lightsaber jabbed forwards to take the Human in the shoulder only he found his attack stopped mid-motion. He sensed Appius and realized he had shifted to the left, and with that realization came the feeling of the firm grip upon his wrist and fingers digging in rather firmly. Numbness loosened his grip on the lightsaber and before long, the weapon slipped from his grasp.

“Now I have you,” Appius’ eyes narrowed into a nasty glare, finding Mune’s eyes in the dust that muddled the air.

The Shistavanen used the other man’s hold as leverage to swing a kick up and square into the Human’s jaw. Appius’ grip went loose instantly, his teeth knocked hard together and his head snapped back. He saw more than just the stars in the sky overhead. His eyes watered but he managed to keep his footing while Mune withdrew. Mune was shaking his hand to get feeling back into his numbed fingers. The nasty look had quite effectively been wiped from the Human’s face and he was left with an irritating ache in his jaw and a ringing in his ears.

“I am telling you for your own good… you do not want to go down that path.” Mune brought his hands up, ready to defend himself.

Appius rubbed his aching jaw, concentrating with some effort on burying the pain and muffle the ringing. His eyes flicked to the dropped lightsaber and shoto and knew Mune followed his gaze, seeing the Shitavenen tense.

“Why do you care? Why do you care about any of it? Where I was. Where I am going. Why?” Appius demanded.

“Honestly?” Mune smirked, “I don’t know.”

That, more than anything, snapped Appius from his rage. Confusion flashed through his eyes. He had expected any number of responses to his question but for the other Disciple to respond I don’t know... Appius blinked dumbfounded.

“What? Not used to honesty?” Mune remained in a loose fighting stance.

“I was not expecting it. Not from you,” Appius admitted.

They watched one another. The Human’s eyes flicked to the lightsaber again, uncertain. Steeling himself, he moved forward. The Force responded and his opponent’s weapon snapped from the ground and into his hand. Mune was already inside his defence. He felt the brush of air that marked the Shistavanen’s movement. He sensed the younger man’s proximity and tried for a wild swing. Mune ducked the arm, relying on reflexes and augmented speed. He concentrated and brought his right hand in an open-hand thrust to Appius’ saber wielding arm. The strike numbed the Sorcerer’s arm and the stolen weapon slipped from his spasming fingers. Mune’s left hand closed on the falling lightsaber, but before he could make use of it he caught a knee to the stomach with all the strength Appius could put behind the haphazard counter.

Mune, caught completely by surprise, was sent rolling across the dusty platform. He managed to keep hold of his recovered lightsaber but not the air in his lungs. He came to rest at the foot of one of the crumbling columns at the edge of the platform. Coughing, Mune raised himself by like a push-up, dragging in a lung full of air and trying to reorientate himself. Appius was having none of it, the Force crackling between his fingers, nearly screaming to be unleashed upon his opponent.

“Was fighting me what you expected it to be, Mune?” Appius queried, raising his hand, arcs of electricity dancing between the digits.

Mune turned himself over to sit with his back to the stone column. He focused, he needn’t much of it. Appius unleashed his fury, lightning spanning the distance between them within seconds only to slam against a rippling expanse of an invisible wall, a momentary shimmer that trembled through the air. The Shistavanen grit his teeth, the pressure pushing against his protection bringing an ache to the front of his skull.

Appius’ breath came harsher, the effort of maintaining the stream for a third time drawing its own numbness up his fingers and beginning to nip at his hands. He ceased his onslaught before he lost all feeling in his fingers.

Mune let his wall drop with some relief. He got to his feet with a grunt, chest rising and falling with his heavy panting. He eyed the Human, “Are you done?”

“You are tougher than you look,” Appius admitted. “How?”

“Training. Study. A particular understanding.”

The Human’s fury was leaving him, and with it, much of the energy that remained to him. He was becoming exhausted. Mune did not make a move, however, only stood watching him from a safe distance. He was uncertain of the Shistavanen, unsure whether to remain on guard or not. Was their fight over with? They both remained standing, uncertainty nagging at the Human’s mind. He saw then a different sort of fatigue in the other man’s eyes and it had nothing to do with physical exhaustion.

“I still cannot say why I left…”

“I know. I don’t think you yourself even quite understand the why of it,” Mune called his shoto to hand and holstered the weapon. “I was not wrong when I said you need to control your rage… else it will control you.”

“You’re not going to tell me to forget my rage, to embrace calm and serenity or some nonsense?” Appius snorted.

“Why? Rage is a tool as much as calm. Why disregard it?” Mune gave a nonchalant little shrug.

“Seriously?”

Mune looked mildly abashed, ears back and a sheepish grin feigning to spread across his muzzle. His breathing had calmed. “Seriously. I am not some Jedi… nor am I some Sith. I live my way, including coming up with pretenses to meet someone I was curious about, on the battlefield.”

A frown creased the Human’s face, “Pretense?”

Mune grinned, flashing sharp fangs, his eyes alight with mirth. He breathed in deeply of the fresh night air. His eyes fell back to Appius, “We’ll get you another lightsaber and do this again. For now… call this one a draw?”

Appius could only nod.

Champion Rajhin Cindertail, 27 September, 2020 2:37 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

Again, the strong point of this post was how you handled combat in a creative manner. Your descriptions of the actions, characters and scenes were vivid and just as in your first post you employed Force powers in a creative way without breaking realism.


Can Be Improved

Your ending felt unsatisfying. There wasn’t really a clear victor, you even refer to it in character dialogue as a draw. The overall conflict and the vision brought up in Appius’ prior post were left unresolved.

He didn't need to be told twice, and a storm ruptured from his fingertips towards the white-furred man.

This again? Mune mused as he positioned his sabers in a cross in front of him to absorb the full impact of the deadly streaks of white and blue as they darted towards him. He slowly began to advance towards the Sorcerer like a predator after his prey, inching forward bit by bit, the pressure being absorbed into his blade lessening by the second. A few moments later, the violent storm subsided as Mune capitalized on the moment. He swiped at the Sorcerer who stepped to the side to avoid the powerful attack before it could connect with his flesh. The blade tore through the bottom of his robe and the small shard of fabric floated off the edge of the arena.

That was when a flash of inspiration entered Appius' mind. It was dirty and underhanded, but quite frankly, with Mune literally swiping at his heels, he would take any advantage he could get. Just as the Praetor lunged at him with a swift thrust to his chest, Appius quickly removed his cloak and threw it in front of Mune's eyes. The action stunned the Augur as the large item covered his entire frame like an enormous blanket. The Shistavanen halted in his advance and shook the cloak of him, hacking it to pieces in front of him to quickly gain sight of Appius.

What he saw was the Sorcerer in front of him with his right hand outstretched towards him with an open palm facing him. With no imminent warning from the Force, Mune knew exactly what that meant.

Kark!

He didn't have enough time to shield his eyes before the bright light burst in front of his eyes again. He howled as his vision was taken away from him again, burning in his retinas a second time, he shook his head to try and regain his vision as quickly as possible before the Sorcerer had a chance to capitalize.

He felt the warning through the Force, and Mune very quickly realized this exact scenario had already been played out before earlier in this very battle.

No! I will not allow myself to fall into this Sorcerer's grasp again!

Mune hurled his shoto lightsaber through the air in the general direction of Appius, who barely managed to sidestep the deadly projectile before it cleaved him in twain. The weapon rolled haphazardly towards the edge of the arena and almost followed the same path as Appius' weapon before it, though stopped just before the sheer drop. The Sorcerer's own injuries and fatigue were starting to get the better of him; his back twinged every time he moved too much and sweat dripped down his pale face alongside the mist from the waterfall that now began to drench both men.

However, this did not slow Mune down in the slightest. The canine being gritted his teeth. His heart thumped in his large, sensitive ears as he circled around Appius. The loss of one blade restricted his fighting style, but the Sorcerer so far had shown a distinct lack of martial prowess and without a lightsaber it was highly improbable that he would be able to defend himself. All Mune needed was one strike, one simple slash and he could end it all. Appius would never be a threat again. The Brotherhood would be safe, Caleb would be safe. He would make sure of it, his mission be damned! The Inquisitorius would just have to understand. It wasn't worth his partner's life, not by a long shot.

I won't let him hurt you, Caleb. I promise, even if it kills me.

"And then... there was one," Appius declared between heavy breaths. "Jar'Kai requires two lightsabers to use effectively... so, let me ask, what's your plan now?"

Mune stopped where he was, the Sorcerer was getting overconfident despite his obvious overexertion. He could end this now with a quick burst if he just timed it right. He sheathed his lightsaber, the aquamarine retracted into the hilt and surprised the Taldryanite.

"Okay, Mune, what the hell are you up to?" he asked. His body tensed as he mentally prepared for the assault that was to come.

"Oh, you'll see."

That was all the response that Appius received. The Force blared a warning to the back of his mind as Mune lunged towards him. the Shistavanen unsheathed a weapon Appius hadn't bothered to take notice of and it nearly cost him his life. Thankfully, the warning was just enough that he was able to just move out of the way of the stab before it could pierce him through his heart.

"Sithspit!" he cried. Mune continued his onslaught, shifting the weight on his feet and using speed rather than strength. The deep, azure blade cut at Appius forearm, piercing through his armor with little effort and leaving a gash upon the exposed skin. Not a serious injury by any means, but a painful one.

The adrenaline kept pouring through his body as his heart thundered against his rib cage. He'd never seen a weapon like it, bluer than the waters that poured by the waterfall, deeper than the sky above, and Mune was proficient with it, devastatingly so. Mune darted to the side to create an opening for himself. His breathing was hard and ragged from his own exertion and the sooner he could end this conflict, the better.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Appius roared, forcing a wave of energy directly at Mune's face. The sudden effort sent Mune spiralling once again towards the end of the platform as he rolled across the hard ground. He couldn't stop himself from dropping off the edge. His sapphire blade fell to the planet surface below as he clung on for dear life with his own two hands gripping the hard stone, the only thing that prevented a long drop to his demise.

Appius dropped to one knee, mumbling incoherently in the language of his homeworld. He was at his limit, a limit he never expected to reach against such an opponent. But he supposed there was a reason why he was so highly ranked in the Inquisitorius, an Augur, and a Praetor to boot. He supposed it served him right for underestimating his opponent.

Not that it mattered now. As he summoned the strength to lift his head, he knew Mune was hanging off the edge of the arena, completely at his mercy. Appius smiled and forced himself back on two feet. His balance was wobbly, his head pounding and his legs felt weak. Nonetheless, as he approached the helpless Shistavanen, he would see this through to the bitter end. He peered down to Mune, whose eyes were full of desperation.

"Well, now look who has the high ground," Appius said, holding his forearm tentatively. He never got a response, and simply observed as the Shistavanen focused his entire effort on staying attached to the platform.

"You certainly like to live life on the edge, don't you?" Appius smirked maniacally. "It's a shame it came to this, Mune. But you started it and, well, it's your own fault."

The Augur was desperate and he searched around the edge of the platform for any sign of hope, anything that could save him. Luckily for him, he caught a glimpse of his shoto lightsaber dangling perilously close to falling. The Sorcerer was so focused on his opponent he failed to notice the weapon so close to the side of him. This was his way out of this, though he knew he had to time this right. If he slipped up he would be as good as dead.

"Any last words?" the Sorcerer inquired.

With the Force on his side, Mune summoned the strength to launch himself over the platform and flip directly over the tall human and landed behind him. He reached out with his left hand and summoned his weapon to it like it was a magnet to steel. He activated the short violet blade and as Appius turned to confront his attacker, Mune stabbed him directly in the left side of his body.

The Shistavanen pulled the blade out of the Human's body. Appius gritted his teeth, and remained standing for a moment, pure adrenaline being the only thing holding him upright. The Mandalorian stumbled a couple of steps towards the smaller man with his hand outstretched towards him, a final act of desperation as the pain finally took over, his legs wobbled and he dropped to the floor, unable to keep himself up with his own strength a second longer.

The Arcanist stood above the fallen Force user's body, his violet weapon humming gently against the cool winds of the Kalsunor night. Appius still lived, his heartbeat was slowed and heavy, but he still clung to life and even unconscious he refused to die.

Mune knew what he wanted to do. His vision warned him of what was to come if he didn't. He raised his saber above his head, intending to bring it down onto the Sorcerer's spine and end it all right here, right now. He would never have the chance to hurt anyone again.

But he couldn't do it.

"Come on…" Mune muttered as he tried to force himself to do the deed. In the back of his mind, his thoughts ran a thousand kilometers a minute. Was it his duty to the Inquisitorious? His duty to fulfil his mission? No, it was something else, something other than the fact that straight-up murder was not something Mune liked to indulge in.

No, what bothered him most was Caleb. What would he think of him doing such a thing? It was ironic, Mune had one of the best minds in Scholae Palatinae and yet it was his heart rather than his head that won over his decision this day.

The purple blade of his shoto retracted back into the hilt and Mune placed it back on his waist. He would need a new set of weapons unless he was lucky enough to find his lost ones in the jungles below, but that would have to wait for a moment. He raised his left wrist to his face and spoke into the device attached to it.

"This is Mune Cinteroph. I've neutralised Wight. Requesting a pick-up at my location."

He received his response, an affirmation that more agents of the Inquisitorius were on their way. They would take Appius in alive and then the Seekers could have their way with him from there.

Mune looked back towards the body that lay beneath him. He felt a hot anger rise within him, though he restrained himself from acting upon it. It was one of passion, one which made him determined to do whatever it took to protect the one closest to him.

No matter what, he would defend him, even if it cost him his life.

Champion Rajhin Cindertail, 27 September, 2020 2:43 AM UTC

Positive Takeaways

You provided a clear victor and satisfying ending to the conflict while maintaining your strong showing in describing combat.


Can Be Improved

You were inconsistent in your capitalization of “Human,” it can be one or the other but you have to stick with one or it is a minor syntax error.

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" Appius roared, forcing a wave of energy directly at Mune's face.

This passage is unclear in regards to what the energy was. Also be aware that Telekinesis generally requires a gesture for focus.

He felt a hot anger rise within him, though he restrained himself from acting upon it.

Your treatment of Mune’s character, especially in the final scene felt wildly inconsistent both internally and with regards to Mune’s character aspects. You have him trying to convince himself to kill Appius only to have him struggle to restrain himself from killing Appius a few paragraphs later.