For a long time, nobody budged. Minutes ticked by. The Arconan swore he saw the blood-drenched moon change position, before at last he lowered his hands. Still, Creon did not move.
The younger fighter was hesitant to continue having a friendly spar after he had just threatened the Jedi. Even so, the cost of a no-questions-asked shuttle ride to Takodana wiped out his savings. That was only an investment in his future if this intimidating, laconic soldier vouched for him to the [[Lotus]].
“So, ah, we’re doing this?”
“Hurry up,” Creon said flatly. “I haven’t got all night.”
Grinning at this, he raised glowing fists. He advanced a pace—and froze as the Odanite’s arm went up. Daven clumsily dove sideways. The dart made a deafening hiss as it whipped past his ear, off by centimeters. The wind of its passage ruffled his hair.
He scrambled away on hands-and-knees while the ground behind him exploded. Well, it was more like a pop. A fearful, noisy pop. Creon’s repulsor went off, again and again. Tiny geysers of dirt and stone choked the air with dust. Daven was running, bent-double, hands on head, toward a hole in the castle wall nearby. Maybe it had been a door, maybe not. Successive showers of pebbles rang and sizzled off the shockgloves.
The mercenary scurried inside an instant before a repulsor blast caught the wall above the hole. There was a crash, he tripped over his own feet, and by the time he raised his eyes, Daven was in darkness.
Coughing, he rose and took stock. Whatever this room had been, it was chillier than the inside of a cooling unit. He got the impression of a large space, with a high ceiling. The youth took three steps in a straight line, and bumped up against a table. Unless it was a chair.
He already missed the annoying song of stupid, mindless insects. It was crypt-quiet in here. Leaning on the unidentifiable obstruction for support, he glanced back. Daven ceased breathing. Oh, no.
But for a narrow strip of light above a rubble pile, his exit was blocked. The masonry framing that hole must have been extremely lose. He inhaled sharply—and resumed coughing, harder than before. It became impossible to stop. He edged around the chair-table, and bumped into numerous other formless objects, shuffling and hacking and coughing all the while. He kept telling himself to calm down. It was hard, when he could only get through calm d— before the coughing began again.
The hole outside was surrounded by scorch marks. Perhaps that meant it was a hole blasted in solid masonry, and was not, originally, a door. Which, in turn, would mean there was a door inside this room, somewhere, connecting it to the rest of the castle. Better not keep that Mandalorian tin can waiting.
At last, Daven found a solid wall. Ran into it, more like. He slid one hand along the surface, but soon paused. A faint noise caught his attention. Motionless, he eventually made out a nigh-inaudible thump. There came another. This time, he heard dirt flake off the ceiling, and rain down. It came from behind him.
Daven slumped when there were no further attempts. Apparently, the repulsor lacked enough power to shift rubble. Perhaps, now, Creon might enter the castle by some other means, and track down the Arconan?
That idea made him queasy. Until his eyes adjusted, he was trapped in darkness with a Mandalorian bounty hunter. A skilled one, which probably rendered low-light-and-thermal-scanners a given. Every corner he took from here out, Daven would be terrified of running face-first into the hunter.
On the other hand . . . was a nexu-and-womp-rat game too indirect? The way the Jedi had been testing him thus far was rather brutal. And Creon gave up awfully quickly, after just two-or-three repulsor blasts. Did he really seem the type to go around an obstacle? It took Daven another moment to remember the WESTAR-M5.
OH N—
A wall of fire and sound flung him deeper into the dark space. ‘Up’ and ‘down’ switched places too-many times per second, miniature pieces of rubble flew in all directions, and then he abruptly stopped being airborne. The collision with a wall was followed by a vicious impact with the ground, and then something heavy slammed down atop him.
Daven might have fallen unconscious, at some point. If so, not for long. A few seconds at most. The next thing he remembered was the aftermath of his sparring partner’s little trick with the WESTAR’s under-barrel grenade launcher.
Grey smoke, tinged an infernal shade of red by the light of Takodana’s brilliant moon, billowed into the room like a fog bank. Out of the new entrance he blew open came Creon Okami. Smokey tendrils clung to his spare frame, wreathed his limbs and trailed after him.
Daven, pinned beneath a table, squirmed free. The table probably saved him from worse injury. Propped up against the wall, he coughed uncontrollably as Creon drew nearer. Shoving-off, Daven attempted a jumping kick to the face, but his opponent blocked downward. The Jedi’s stiff fingers missed his throat when Daven swayed aside, but then he was sent staggering by a backfist. Without first withdrawing his hand, Creon had turned his wrist and struck again, coming alongside the Arconan as he did.
The youth tripped and folded himself over a fallen chair. His lips curled away from his teeth. Rage energized the scrawny Arconan, and he whirled, swinging wildly. His sparring partner evaded or deflected each amateurish, imprecise attack with practiced ease.
Daven struck twice rapidly, a one-two combination the Mandalorian beat by bobbing first left, then right. Creon bobbed again under a third, wide-open swing, this time coming up inside Daven’s guard with his right flank facing the youth. Before the Arconan could recover from the punch, his forearm was seized in a durasteel grip. Creon’s other, right arm snaked around behind Daven’s neck, and he swiveled and bent forward until the youth’s hips were pushed out, and slung the much weaker man over his hip into unyielding stone.
Daven was curled-up in a ball for a while. He was done. He was absolutely, one-hundred-percent finished. When he sat up at last, breathing shallowly, he glanced at Creon with the intention of saying so. Daven went still. A WESTAR-35, he reflected, was a ridiculously large blaster pistol.
“H-hey,” he mumbled, slurring. “I thought we weren’t doing that. Just give me a s—“
“We’re not doing anything,” Creon cut him off. “You’re done wasting my time.” Daven blinked, uncomprehending. He went on, “This has been fun, but I have a job to do. Nothing I’ve seen tonight shows you’re [[Lotus]] material. When you couldn’t see me, instead of stopping and listening, you quit, and threw a tantrum.”
Daven flushed angrily. “You were inv—!”
“When I made myself a door, you should have had an ambush ready. Instead, you attacked head on. A warrior is brave. You’re just reckless. You have a short-fuse that’ll get you killed, kid. You even wanted to shoot me when we were fighting unarmed.”
“You never said no bl—“
“You’re no warrior. A warrior has honor. As long as I have anything to say about it, you’ll never join the [[Lotus]].”
Daven gaped, then slowly lowered his gaze. He tried to appear deep in thought, and when he looked up again, to seem contrite, as if mid-epiphany. “I—“
He batted the WESTAR-35’s barrel aside and surged to his feet with an uppercut. Creon caught the inside of his elbow, and stomped Daven’s foot. Little bones went crunch. Daven wanted to scream, but Aleena-quick, the larger man shoved him by the grip on his arm. Daven toppled over backwards, with his trapped foot still planted flat on the floor.
As the screams forced their way up and out of this throat, he had a single thought. The Mandalorian set their initial meeting spot out in the forest, in a big clearing. They trekked a considerable distance to arrive at Kanata’s castle. My ship is ten miles away.
Powerful hands scooped him up. Creon slung the Arconan unceremoniously over one shoulder. At the fresh pain shooting up from his injured ankle, Daven let out another shriek. “Put me down!”
“Fine. If I do, I won’t pick you up again.” Daven’s mouth shut so fast his teeth clicked.
They emerged into bright darkness. A map of pale stars decorated the inky dome overhead. A wider variety of insects now sang far louder than before, easily audible even over his whimpers of pain. The humans passed several crumbled towers, marred by scorch marks, and headed across a patch of emerald grass separating these outermost towers from the treeline.
Daven decided he had to know. He grit his teeth against the pain, and in a tremulous whisper asked, “Why not just leave me?”
“For the same reason I could join [[the Lotus]],” came Creon Okami’s voice with its metallic filter, “and you can’t.”
Positive Takeaways
This is a great post for opening up a match. Almost feels like a movie scene. You started with describing the location and panned into the already ongoing fight, then you focused on the combatants and continued the post. You then set up a great jumping off point for your opponent.
Can Be Improved
There were only a few minor Syntax errors. Double check for autocorrect and remember to use the preview button. Where you can improve on is adding more of the environment into your post, mind you there was great description and detail in the first part of the post, but after that there wasn’t much else. So just to keep in mind in future battles, keep adding even just small details of the environment into your posts and use them to keep painting the picture you started. It was also really nice that you tried to add a link to the Lotus wiki page, great idea, however it didn’t work out quite right, again remember to preview before submitting. The use of a wiki link is allowed in matches, however its use can be distracting to the reader. Whether the reader is familiar with the organization or not,they can look it up later after reading the battle. However, it is appreciated that you put a link in to help any curiousity that may arise, though one link is sufficiant.