The reverberating sound of revelry sent tremors throughout the polluted swamp of Nal Hutta. As flocks of animals fled from the concophany dozens of assorted speeders skimmed through the polluted air and poisoned wastelands. The dazzlingly dressed creatures within those vehicles contrasted with the desolate wasteland jutted with sewers pipes, mists of toxic waste, and mutated plants struggling to survive on the once immaculate island. Through the hazy clouds brilliant multi-color lights sliced lines into the heavens drawing the speeders towards them like insects to the flame.
Inside the antechamber the party had been in full swing for hours. Celebrants intoxicated by more spice, liquors, and other forbidden items than an apothecary could name in a lifetime gave rise to their deepest debaucheries. Nearer to the de facto throne room several Hutts of the Kajidic clan sat on emblazoned dais overlooking the gluttony before them. Two of the Hutts marvelled as exotic dancers spun through the air on silken sheets, accenting the height of the skylighted ceiling, while weaving through the gigantic pillars supporting the massive domed structure. As the Hutts reached into their nearby tanks to feast on the still living Klatooine paddy frogs, they placed wagers on which dancer would fall and what sort of injuries they’d sustain.
From across the room, a striking figure worked his way through the crowd. Kamjin Lap’lamiz, otherwise known as Maverick to those who had the privilege to fly with him, was in his element. Years of command and politics had acclimated him to these sorts of events. To the untrained observer there was nothing but the most primal of instincts being given in too. Yet, to the more meticulous amongst the crowd they could see deals being struck. While a half-naked zabrak woman arranged a tray of spice that would soon transport the people inhabiting the table to the wildest sights of the hyperspace lanes, a deal had been struck to transport several dozen slaves to a new processing plant in the outer rim. As several Rodians tried to down liquor from an impressive three story ice sculpture, their associates were placing their bio-thumb print on purchase orders for new cargo ships recently acquired by a rival gang.
Kamjin smirked to himself as he strolled through the crowd. His command cloak partially covered his elder robes which gave him an air of danger as several of the more lucid individuals recognized the symbols and trappings of an elder Dark Jedi Brotherhood member. This, naturally, made him all the more attractive in the crowd. People are drawn to power and Kamjin exuded it. Several women attempted to entrap him with their feminine wiles, to which he politely declined with a charming grin and sweet, soothing words that he would find them later; though he had no intention of following through on such boosts. Of the men, there were many shared toasts, either to the glory of the fleet, the glory of the clan, or other false platitudes by those fearful of the power the Brotherhood represented. While others attempted to proffer new business deals; new armor, weapons, ships, and more for Kamjin and Clan Scholae Palatinae to obtain greater glory. Again, a nod here, a promise to return, and other darker whispers were returned as he made his way to his true objective.
He had come to speak with the Hutts, regarding a matter of some importance to the Brotherhood, and did not want to spend more time than was necessary with those who sought to make a quick deal. Yet, there was this sense of foreboding that he couldn’t shake. He had felt it from the moment he had arrived. At first it hadn’t bothered him. With this much depravity occurring around him it was only natural that there would be hostility felt towards him. Yet, the longer he was here the more focused it became. He scanned around the room and saw all sorts of wanton behavior. From those forcing themselves onto the entertainment to the consumption of endangered creatures and above it all the Hutts’ drinking it in, fanning the flames of sinfulness.
After a while, Kamjin came to rest his gaze upon one individual that stood out from the crowd. Not because of any particular exuberance but rather the complete lack of it. He was slightly taller than Kamjin, while he appeared like one of several dozen individuals wearing a hooded cloak, he could tell that there was a weight to it; probably some sort of heavy armor weave. Again, not out of the ordinary here, nor was the way he carried himself; almost paranoid. He had positioned himself perfectly so that he had visibility of all entrances and exits. What stood out was that he was not partaking in the frivolities. He held no cup, there was no sign of food in his hands, nor were there any signs of him belonging to a group of merrymakers. Kamjin started to make his way over to this outcast figure, pausing along the way only briefly to make it appear as if he was not approaching him directly. A moment sharing a whispered conversation with several of the entertaining dances on the floor. A nod to a group of young business people clearly invited to a party above their station. A small pat on the shoulder of a serving droid and a gesture in the direction of where he was headed. All the while he continued to take in this puzzling figure.
His stance was casual, yet he knew from his days running covert operations that it was misleading. He appeared handsome by most standards but his beard was showing his age. All-in-all, he appeared very similar to Kamjin; most likely some lesser noble who had found a way to make a living in the galaxy. That was until this figure motioned away a group of girls seeking to provide a dance with his hand. Kamjin felt it then; a faint but familial tremor. Upon his hand he wore a ring. A very familiar ring as he had seen them frequently throughout the years. A signet ring of Clan Arcona. He had never been particularly close to any of the Arconians.
As he finally made his way through the crowd, he came upon the Arconan at the same time the server droid approached with two drinks. Kamjin took both as the droid went off to fulfill its next order.
“Greetings, friend,” Kamjin said, extending the glass to the stranger, “enjoying the party?” He noted that while the stranger took the offered glass, he did not drink it. Kamjin, sipped from his savoring the sweet flora and berry notes. Say what you will about the Hutts but they didn’t skimp when it came to their functions.
Kamjin slid in beside the stranger, taking in the room from his perspective. It really was a good position to take in the whole room with minimum effort. Lowering his voice to being perceived just above the din, “What brings an Arconan to the festivities?”
The stranger looked at Kamjin. Kamjin noted that his piercing blue eyes looked both at him and threw him. This was no mere field agent though he couldn’t place him. He had been away from the Brotherhood for too long and while he still recognized some of the elder Dark Council members he was woefully uninformed about the majority of Brotherhood members.
“Evening, Kamjin,” the stranger responded, “don’t you have more important business to attend to?” The stranger raised his glass and sniffed it. A noticeable sign of disgust as the sharpness of the bouquet reached his nose.
He knows me? Kamjin thought searching his memory now frantically to recognize the man. Why would an Arconan know me and why does he appear to know why I am here? “Well, friend,” Kamjin stressed the term with an iciness in his tone, “My business is my business. You seem to know me but I don’t believe I have the pleasure of meeting you.” Kamjin casually took another sip of this drink watching a small opening form in the crowd near them while another troop of tumblers made room to perform.
“I am Marick,” the stranger introduced himself with the same aloof yet informed tone. He searched the room for a server droid to place his wine glass on. Kamjin didn’t know Marick. He felt a familiarity with him though. As if they shared a similar connection within the Brotherhood.
“Marick,” Kamjin let the name hang in the air, “Never heard of you. Yet, you’re clearly aware of me. Why is that?”
“Do you really want to be having this conversation here?”
“Where else would I have it?” waving his arm across the room. Marick sighed and spoke under his breath, “I told Telaris this was a mistake.”
“What do you mean, ‘a mistake’,” Kamjin whirled to face Marick. Telaris, what does the Grandmaster have to do with this, he thought. Telaris had given this mission to him after all.
“If you’re this easily distracted by the glamour of this spectacle then we shouldn’t trust you with these types of missions.”
“I can handle negotiations with Hutts.”
“If you can handle it, why have you spent the last few hours imbibing with these denizens,” Marick spoke in a tone Kamjin had heard ages ago from the Masters that trained him. He hadn’t been spoken to as such for decades and he wasn’t inclined to hear it from someone who, for all observations, looked equal to himself.
“You mean the several smaller deals I’ve made. While blending in. You stuck out like a gundark in a Nabooian palace.”
Marick grunted. Kamjin had his ire up over the apparent scolding he was receiving. “It’s to be expected though,” he started to goad Marick, “your whole Clan is founded by someone who stuck out.” Marick narrowed his eyes at Kamjin.
“Oh, yes, I knew Donitz. Did you know he was originally a Palatinaean? Yet he always found a way to needle people. Had to do things his way and stick out in a crowd. Whether it was his little independent house or flying around in those Z-95 Headhunters he was fond of.” Kamjin had inched his face closer to Marick’s, “So naturally, people who followed his example would also stick out.”
Kamjin took his finger and jammed it into Marick’s pectoral, unknowingly hitting up the tattoo he had with the mark of the Arconae, and emphasized, “Now, let me go about my business.”
Marick, not raising to the jab, shook his head, “You sought me out and now blame me for why your mission is in jeopardy.” He smirked as he said, “What else should be expected from someone who refused the invitation to join us on our Exodus.” That did it, Kamjin had suffered enough ridicule by the younger members of the Brotherhood over their perceived slight that he hadn’t joined them in their Exodus. Kamjin took his finger, still pointed squared into Marick’s chest, and shoved him backwards. Marick was jostled backwards knocking into a Kel Dor and causing him to drop his drink onto the unsuspecting patron. Kamjin, gloating that his supposed “better” had so easily been jostled didn’t see the Kel Dor push Marick back forcefully causing him to slam into Kamjin. Whether it was the drink, the spice in the air, the verbal jabs, Kamjin wouldn’t be able to say for certain later. At the time, he had simply had enough and he took this as the excuse he needed to release his pent up fury at the sideways glances and whispered criticisms since his return.
As Marick, now raising his arms to brace himself, came moving back towards Kamjin, he took his glass and smashed it into his head. Kamjin grinned broadly as the glass shattered, sloshing what remained over Marick’s head. It was mostly a symbolic move, the razor thin glass shattered with barely any force and no damage would be caused to Marick.
Marick saw what was coming just as the glass shattered. He felt next to nothing as the glass made contact but enough was enough. Telaris had wanted him to make an assessment of Kamjin and whether he could be trusted with larger responsibilities again and, though he was in disagreement, set again on a path to Master. Very well, he thought, if he wants to fight then that’s another way of assessing his worth. He slid his hand up, catching Kamjin’s wrist still clutching the stem of the shattered glass, and pulling him forward rotated Kamjin behind him and directed the now off-balanced opponent into the same Kel Dor. The Kel Dor brushing the spilled liquor off his clothing looked up as Kamjin toppled into him, face first. The two of them went to the ground.
Kamjin pushed off him, as the Kel Dor left out an oof of air as Kamjin’s hands depressed his abdomen with enough force to spring him back to his feet. At this point the crowd nearest to them started to part as Kamjin and Marick sized each other up. Kamjin popped his shoulders as he cocked his raised fists to fight. Marick, tucked his elbows with his hands open waiting for Kamjin to make the first move. He did not have to wait long.
Positive Takeaways
Your characterization of both Marick and Kamjin was the highlight of this post. You incorporated little things into their emotes and physical actions as well as their dialogue. You established an interplay between their very different personalities early on as the basis for the conflict. Well done.
Can Be Improved
This post was in dire need of some editing for length and focus. While we try to give a lot of leeway to opening posts to set up the scene and conflict between the characters it took you around 1800 words before the two characters had their first physical interaction. For context, many ACC competitions have word caps of between 750-1200 words. The challenge of having the first post is you have to hook the reader right away and while your post was entertaining overall I felt you had some room to get to the conflict much much sooner.