Two sets of boots tread down the Corrino Research Lab. The two near-identically armored men kept their wits about them as their steps echoed down the dismally lit hallways. The Zabrak's two hearts beat in tandem with one another as he observed every scratch and dent on the broken pieces of equipment that they walked past. It was a sorry sight, and the amount of dried red previously sprayed on the surfaces he saw pained him dearly. The researchers and animals here suffered and for what? Knowledge? Power? Was it truly worth it? It wasn't, not in Ria'd Stesca's eyes.
"Have you ever considered joining Clan Odan-Urr?" the smaller man asked as he raised a brow at the taller Defender.
Then there was his partner for this particular endeavour. Creon Saldean. A fellow Jedi and Ranger from within the ranks of the Brotherhood who had been nothing if not quiet since they arrived. Ria'd didn't mind in the slightest. He liked the silence, it gave him more of a chance to think and focus on the task at hand.
"Unfortunately, no," the Zabrak answered honestly. "My only allegiance is to the Light and those who need my help. I do apologize about that."
Creon simply waved him off with a gesture of his hand and a smile.
"Not at all, I'm quite surprised Gui never got to you. He's normally on top of such matters," the Human replied. "Though I do wonder why you have agreed to help us."
"I just want to help, that's all," the Zabrak answered, though that was only half the truth. He did want to help, of course he did, that was just who he was! Helping people was so ingrained into him that most of the time he never thought twice about it. However, the other reason was that he had recently heard rumours that an old friend of his was still alive and a part of the Brotherhood; so, what better way to get some information than right at the very source? When he saw the outsourced contract from the Headmistress, he leapt at the opportunity, much to his behest at their current situation.
And like that, the two fell silent again. Though Ria'd couldn't help but glance at his fellow Jedi as they turned the corners. Creon's face would turn into a scowl, his fists would clench and his eyes would harden. Clearly, he was as troubled by this place as Ria'd was.
"There is no emotion, there is peace," Ria'd stated suddenly, catching the smaller man's attention. "There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity. There is no chaos, there is harmony. There is no death, there is…"
"The Force," Creon finished for him. "The old Jedi Code. It's been a while since I last heard it. But its words bring many comforts in troubling times."
"Old?" Ria'd inquired curiously. It was the only code he'd ever known as it was the one drilled into him by his adopted guardians, the rogue Jedi who rescued him from being a sacrificial lamb on Dathomir. To suddenly hear that there was another variation piqued his interests.
"Indeed, though I see it as more a rough code than a guide to follow," Creon added. "Regardless, what do you know of these rathtars?"
That was the creature they were looking for, a rathtar. Horrific monstrosities and Ria'd had only ever encountered them once before. It was an experience he hoped he wouldn't have to repeat and he shuddered at the thought of it.
"They are vicious, relentless pack hunters and…"
Ria'd never got to finish his sentence as the two Jedi were suddenly interrupted by a loud clang that rang above them. The air vents shook as something moved from one part of the vent to the other. The Defenders could only watch as a vile, horrific ball-like monster twice the size of the Jedi dropped out of an opening from above them. It writhed on the floor for a moment before its many tentacle-like appendages lifted its spherical body off of the ground.
"And they look a lot like that!" the Zabrak Defender exclaimed as the beast turned and snarled at them, its many rows of sharp, dagger-like teeth shown to them both in an intimidating display.
The Force suddenly alarmed in the back of Ria'd's head like a warning for a violent storm. He quickly grabbed the lightsaber hilt at his side, but was far too slow to react to the long tentacle that sprung towards him at breakneck speed. The long, slimy appendage wrapped around the Jedi's ankle and pulled him off his feet, his lightsaber hilt rolling out of his hand as his spine hit the floor.
Thump, thump, thump, thump.
The Zabrak's two hearts raced against each other as he was dragged across the floor towards the hungry beast's funnelled mouth.
Creon reacted instantly as the Human Defender raised his right arm. Red plasma shot out of his vambrace and flew through the air, slamming into the beast’s mouth; it staggered back, but the hit didn't seem to do any damage. Much to the dismay of the Odanite, who's eyes widened at the resilience of the abomination in question.
Just what did Mav's ritual do to everything here!?
This, however, presented the opportunity Creon needed. He grabbed his main-hand lightsaber, a crystal-bright blue blade rupturing out of the hilt as the Human Jedi summoned the Force through himself like a powerful stimulant. He leapt forward like a runaway speeder and caught up to his fallen comrade before slicing the tentacle clean off the rathtar.
The slug-like creature recoiled and shrieked in pain and horror as the Guardian Adherent aided Ria'd back onto feet. The Zabrak shook the tentacle from his ankle, his head turning to the rathtar before looking back to the smaller man in front of him.
"RUN!" Ria'd yelled as the pair of Jedi took off in the opposite directions away from the beast down the many cracked and decrepit hallways. The Zabrak picked up his lightsaber along the way, however, rathtar were not known as vicious predators for nothing as it curled itself into a ball and launched itself at the two Jedi.
Sensing an opportunity, Ria'd spun on the spot and thrust his right arm forward. A torrent of strong air slammed into the rathtar and sent it back down the corridor from whence it came.
"We don't have long," the Zabrak warned. "It will keep hunting until it kills us."
Positive Takeaways
Awesome start to this match, great use of environment. You got the action going and the target creature.
This was a really interesting way of showing Force Amplification. I could almost feel the wind as Creon rushed forward.
Can Be Improved
There were a few Syntax errors; mainly the use of comma’s, well, lack thereof. Watch out for run-on sentences.
These first two beginning sentences could be combined and reworded slightly to sound more precise. Right now it sounds like you repeated the information twice, including descriptors.
So as it was kindly pointed out, this is not really possible to do. You didn’t use a Force power in this context, of which there are none that would allow you to do this anyways, it still doesn’t read right. Seeing, or even creating an opening for an attack, would have been better ways to start off this sentence.
So this is almost reading like you used Telekinsis, but there isn’t anything except the line, “thrust his right arm forward,” that shows any sort of build of the Force leading up to its use. Ria’d just got up and was running away from the rathtar. Not only would he need to have caught his breath, but he would have needed to tap into the Force and pool a bit of it to do what you described above. Ria’d’s level in Telekinesis says that sizable objects need a few seconds of concentration. Instantanious use was if there was no opposing force. A rathtar coming at you full speed is an opposing force. Thus, you would have to take a few seconds to pull in some of the Force, to be able to push it back enough to stop it. This unfortunately is a Minor Realism error.