Savant Zaagnika "Zag" Umangi vs. Reaver Reinera (Rein) Savat

Savant Zaagnika "Zag" Umangi

Equite 2, Equite tier, Unaffiliated
Female Zygerrian, Force Disciple, Shadow
vs.

Reaver Reinera (Rein) Savat

Equite 4, Equite tier, Unaffiliated
Undefined Clawdite, Mercenary, Weapons Specialist
Comment

These writers made me feel the tension of two characters who really fed one another’s insecurities in the worst way. Despite the awkward fictional pairing, both combatants did a good job of telling their characters’ stories. There’s moments of aww, ick and charm throughout!

Ultimately, I found very few technical errors, so it really came down to that story to decide the match. Again, both did a great job, but I felt Alaisy (Zag) took more ownership of the story and kept driving the action forward while also delivering on the characterisation and even humor.

Thanks to both of you for participating in SARLACC. I’m loving your stories and the chance to get to know different characters a little better!

Hall SARLACC [2021]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Savant Zaagnika "Zag" Umangi, Reaver Reinera (Rein) Savat
Winner Savant Zaagnika "Zag" Umangi
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Savant Zaagnika "Zag" Umangi's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Reaver Reinera (Rein) Savat's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue [SCENARIO] SARLACC 2021, Round 2: Arx Colosseum
Last Post 1 March, 2021 6:09 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Dr. Rhylance Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra
Score: 4 (Advantage) Score: 4
Rationale: Very few errors. Rationale: Errors, but nothing that detracted from a fluid read.
Story - 40%
Dr. Rhylance Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: A solid story with good characterisation. Rationale: Great characterisation and story-driving action.
Realism - 25%
Dr. Rhylance Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues found. Good job! Rationale: No issues found. Good job!
Continuity - 20%
Dr. Rhylance Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues found. Good job! Rationale: No issues found. Good job!
Dr. Rhylance's Score: 4.12 Alaisy "Aphotis" Tir'eivra's Score: 4.45
Posts

colosseum

Arx’s Colosseum is a monument to the original Petranaki arena on Geonosis, the site where the Clone Wars began with an epic clash between Jedi and Sith. However, instead of confining itself to a decrepit ruin, the Colosseum stands as an example of what the Geonosian arena once was.

Walls tall enough to be unscalable for even the most practiced Force-user surround a theatre the size of a holoball field, floored with sandy soil. Above, rows of seats are packed together into sections for spectators to observe the carnage. The dignitaries who preside over the gladiator matches instead find themselves in an elongated platform “box”, with the large stone throne reserved for the most prestigious among them, flanked by smaller seats for their companions. Large holo-projection screens occupy each of the Colosseum’s walls, displaying images of the combat below streamed by the cam droids that circle the arena.

The arena floor itself is, naturally, more dangerous than it appears. A wide assortment of traps are concealed beneath the dirt and sand, including but not limited to: retractable fire-spewing nozzles, power coils firing bolts of lightning, electrified floor panels, deadfalls lined with spikes, and even obelisks that simply erupt from the ground. These traps are operated by sentient technicians in the Colosseum’s control room, well away from the fighting.

You and another member of the Brotherhood have been tasked by the Headmistress of the Shadow Academy with gathering research data on a wide variety of dangerous creatures. In addition to the normal raucous crowds, sophisticated scanning equipment has been set up around the Colosseum floor to monitor the creatures’ behavior and vital signs under a variety of circumstances—including combat and injury.

Your goal in this scenario is twofold: provoke the creatures and hold their attention for long enough that the Shadow Academy scanners can collect a wide variety of physiological data, and prevent the creatures from destroying the scanning equipment placed in the Colosseum by the Academy researchers. Once those tasks are complete, you will be free to leave the arena (if you can) and claim your reward.

The Headmistress would strongly prefer the creature be left alive and useful after the experiment is finished. She would also "prefer" that you not interfere with the research by attempting to rescue the creature, but you may do so at your own peril.

Well, at least it wasn’t cold and wet. It had been so pleasant and affluent inside the actual Shadow Academy, but here, it felt much like being at a “work-experience” for a prisoner job. Two heavily armored sentries stood guard at the reinforced portcullis. Racks of armor and weaponry were on full display, clipped and chained against the sandstone walls. The duracrete floor was covered in a rusty colored sand, much like the grains found on Geonosis. Occasionally, the ground would shake, making the metal rattle. Another fight was still taking place inside the Arx Colosseum, likely another set of combatants tackling some seriously large creature.

Reinara’s experience in the wild allowed them to recognize one of the beast’s screeches. It must’ve been an Acklay. They hoped they would be fighting something equally impressive. Deep down, the Clawdite anticipated entering the arena alone, but they knew it was expected of them to pair up with another. Whoever was going to join them was late. The Weapon’s Specialist disliked the decor. They’d seen dungeons more inviting than this. It reminded them far too much of their time as a slave child. The undefined, Human-like changeling dusted their short-cut black hair off and readjusted it so their yellow eyes could be unveiled.

Rein’s porcelain skin was adorned with a permanent frown, a large scar, and a blank expression. Normally they would hide their face, if only not to upset the people they dealt with, however, this time it seemed like Rein was alone—finally a job without complications. The credits were welcome, but the people from the Shadow Academy they had to deal with were not. The short visit had made Rein Savat feel incredibly uneasy, with several of them being Force users after all.

Then they heard footsteps, only noticeable by the crunching of sand granules under synth-leather boots.

“So sorry I’m late, I had to make sure to let one of my friends know when my turn would come up!” a silvery voiced Zygerrian pointed out, panting somewhat between words. She leant with her hands on her thighs, catching her breath.

The Clawdite had turned their head towards the slightly taller, grey-furred woman, with the same deadpan look on their face.

“Hey, r-really sorry. The name’s Zaagni-,” she wiggled her pink-tipped nose, then left it pointing to the side as she sneezed. ”Achoo—sorry—.” Zaagnika Umangi, or you can simply call me Zag. Oof, I really have to do some more exercise, and do it earlier! The first time of the day always makes me sneeze. Pleasure to meet you, err-” she wiped her nose with her elbow, then held out a large clawed hand towards the Clawdite.

“Rein,” they replied with the same inscrutable expression on their face, while their voice was just as undefined. The Reaver left her hanging, biding their time until Zag lowered her hand.

They could notice her toothy smile ebb away, replaced by a nervous fidgeting with those same disproportionately large claws. Why would they trust her, afterall? Zygerrians were known oppressors after all. Yellow eyes scanned over the form fitting suit she was wearing, expecting to find a lightsaber. But they found none, even though her EE-4 blaster and her folded electro-hammer were on full display. Perhaps she wasn’t a Jedi or Sith at least—that jetpack certainly wasn’t a common piece of equipment on Force-users.

“Also here for the credits? The last visit to the hot labs paid off pretty well, even if I had to get my jaw fixed at the surgeon.” Pierced and jewelry laden ears twitched as Zag could hear the crowd cheering outside of the vomitorium.

Rein turned towards the gate and saw the guards stepping to the sides, lifting their pikes away from the opening. The Clawdite readied their Black Sun blasters, Right and Left, as the first rays of light beamed underneath the heavy doorway. The lifting of the heavy gate was almost deafening. It rattled as sand infested cogs and gears had trouble getting it in motion.

The awkwardness and lack of interaction really made Zag want to disappear. She was feeling deeply sorry about being so late, and she did not want to be jumped by a monster on her way in. The Zygerrian inhaled deeply as she let the Force wash over her, like walking downstream of a shallow river.

Blinding light from Arx Primus reflected off of the immensely tall, reinforced transparisteel walls and fine rusty sand. The heat formed ripples in the air, similar to how Zag disappeared from sight herself as she ignored the bolstering crowds. People in the audience wondered why only one person entered the arena. So did Rein when they turned their head around after stepping into the fighting grounds. Zag was, indeed, gone. They didn’t hear her through the noise. Even Savat’s keen sight couldn’t disseminate her from the wrinkles in the air.

Force sensitive after all? And she left me here to fend for myself. Typical.

Both combatants could hear the clanging and whirring of another door, coming from the other side of the Colosseum. Then there was a loud banging on metal and a shrill roar could be heard. A droid tried to prod it with an electrobaton, but its attempt was answered by a giant, clawed fist smashing it to pieces. Debris scattered into the arena grounds, and even caused one of the hidden traps to activate. The droid’s head dropped down into a pit, impaling it on a spike. Once the monster came out of the vomitorium, they could see its dirtied white fur. It was a massive wampa, much larger than the average and it was angry.

Traps? They didn’t tell me about no kriffing traps, blast! Zag thought to herself, now scouting out the sands for any trigger plates, laser wires or elevated panels.

Reinara sought out some kind of cover. They looked up to see just how tall those walls were. The Colosseum was quite the death-trap and the Clawdite wasn’t quite sure who it was intended to test—the participants or the wampa. Behind the protective see-through material there were hordes of spectators, which seemed to be cheering on someone, or something. Probably the wampa. Setting themselves up behind a pillar large enough to cover their body, the changeling noticed that the beast was looking for more electronics to pulverize.

With a nice vantage point set up, they were going to wait until the beast found something to gnaw on. The Mercenary clipped their Right and Left back onto one of their belts and grabbed their amban sniper rifle, Long Shot, off of their back.

In the meantime Zag had found a pressure plate and she could smell conflagrine-14 nearby.

A flamethrower, excellent. Time to do your magic, Zaagnika, she beat herself on her chest for self-encouragement.

Her canary yellow eyes squinted at the wampa, only to notice just how incredibly large and intimidating it was. Maybe it was better for Rein to have the first shot. The Zygerrian looked up at the crowd and realized they hadn’t even seen her yet.

She scanned the public and started to increasingly worry about even getting paid for the job if she let the weird looking Human do all the work—well she thought they were Human anyway. Weird frakkers those Humies. Then she saw him, her new friend, the giant red Zeltron. It was Sage, and he was looking around to find her. She huffed and readied her EE-4 blaster, Prattle.

She kept her mind focused to stay hidden with help of the Force for just a little longer as she maneuvered behind the pressure plate. She then aimed her weapon at the wampa, dropping her veil. Once her scope had aligned with her target—which seemed to be flailing at anything robotic zooming around it or flickered at it with little lights—she looked away, thinking instead about how much fame she could garner if she made an epic entry. She could hear the crowd’s confusion over her sudden appearance as she squeezed the trigger.

Just as Reinara had set themselves up real nicely, they heard the blaster-fire.

Zag...

They followed the bolts swirling towards the wampa. A whole cadre of blaster fire completely missed the enormous monster, but she kept on hurling more of them. All of them missed, except for the very last one. It hit the ice creature right in the mouth as it was about to munch on a cable. It roared furiously, covering its maw with a curly furred claw.

The bellow of the beast made the Zygerrian flinch. She peered upwards and saw Sage cheering like a mad nexu, almost tossing another spectator out of their chair as he stood up.

Worth it, she thought to herself, until she turned towards the real behemoth stomping towards the Savant, creating a huge dust cloud behind it.

Reinara didn’t hesitate, they aimed Long Shot, attempting to fire at its leg. The rising dust and a suddenly erupting obelisk blocked their sight. They swapped back to the pair of Black Sun blasters and made a run for the Zygerrian.

Intentional? Are these Shadow Academy scientists sabotaging me here? Rein didn’t trust a single one of them. They were safe behind the structure, having a blast while they were risking their lives for some spare change. That obelisk was placed just a little bit too perfectly in front of their sights.

The wampa kept storming towards Zag as she froze in place, grinding her teeth in fear. It started slowing down just in front of her.

One more step, Zag prayed to herself.

Stomp!

It had taken the bait.

Click

The wampa was sprayed with a splash of conflagrine. The fluid irritated the giant beast, but for some reason it didn’t ignite.The monster roared at Zag. It postured with its massive limbs while sniffing at the horrible stench of fuel. It's lovely white fur had been ruined!

The Clawdite left a trail of dust behind, boots sliding through the sand as they came to a dramatic halt. They fired a paired round at the wampa. The two shots from Left went wide, with one of them almost burning a hole through Zag’s perfect, jet-black bangs. The other two shots from Right just barely scraped over the beast’s belly. The bolts ignited the fuel, setting the giant ablaze.

The Zygerrian shook awake, ducking away from both the stray bolt and the inferno in front of her. The Force had given her a warning as a massive burning limb hurled towards her. The woman rolled out of the way, got back up and kept running, heart pounding in her throat.

Rein peered expressionless at the beast. They could see it throw itself on the sand. The wampa tried to douse itself with the sand in desperation.

They could hear a buzzing sound among the ecstatically screaming crowd above. A swarm of fire extinguishing drone-droids came hurling towards the wampa. Ice-cold, oxygen choking vapour made short work of the conflagration. It came as a relief for the ice-monster. It snorted and sniffed as pain ebbed away together with the freezing cold. Then the wampa inhaled deeply as it gasped for air.

Time to do what I do best: staying alive Rein turned on their heels and made a run for it as the beast recovered.

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 18 March, 2021 1:06 AM UTC

What Went Well

The awkwardness and lack of interaction really made Zag want to disappear.

You did really well with characterization in this post right from the beginning, but this sentence really stood out to me as nailing that. Her feeling is something many readers can relate to (nevermind that she actually can disappear when she wants to), and it speaks perfectly to both characters’ aspects and highlights the tension that their pairing creates as their insecurities, manifesting in opposite ways, clash head on.

Once her scope had aligned with her target—which seemed to be flailing at anything robotic zooming around it or flickered at it with little lights—she looked away, thinking instead about how much fame she could garner if she made an epic entry.

Zag looking away as she fires (and then proceeding to miss almost every shot) was neat as it relates to her “Stop Looking at Me” aspect. It’s very “human” and not something you read often in our fantasy fights, so it stood out and made the character a little more relatable.

Room for Growth

You had a number of syntax errors, but nothing that made it difficult to read or interrupted the flow. The most common thing I saw was not hyphenating words in “compound modifiers” (two words together to act like an adjective). For instance:

It rattled as sand infested cogs and gears had trouble getting it in motion.

You’re using “sand” and “infested” to create a single adjective to describe the cogs as being infested with sand … so you should hyphenate them as “sand-infested cogs.”

“Hey, r-really sorry. The name’s Zaagni-,” she wiggled her pink-tipped nose, then left it pointing to the side as she sneezed. ”Achoo—sorry—.” Zaagnika Umangi, or you can simply call me Zag. Oof, I really have to do some more exercise, and do it earlier! The first time of the day always makes me sneeze. Pleasure to meet you, err-” she wiped her nose with her elbow, then held out a large clawed hand towards the Clawdite.

You also had some trouble with quotes in dialogue, particularly in the section above where it looks like you may have a backwards quote right before “achoo” and then an unnecessary period after the hyphen followed by an inadvertent closing quote before the dialogue has actually ended.

Even Savat’s keen sight couldn’t disseminate her from the wrinkles in the air.

Disseminate isn’t the right word for the above … perhaps you meant something like distinguish?

As Rein ran from the recovering wampa, they couldn’t help but feel sorry for this beast. On display against its will, this poor creature was being forced to perform for the entertainment of this blood-thirsty crowd. It was forced to endure this subjugation from the members of this Shadow academy who simply wished to “study” it in forced combat. And now the creature had to live through the pain of being burned alive, even by Rein’s own hand. They didn’t like this situation at all.

They felt a twinge of powerlessness. It was a feeling they hadn’t felt since their time in the “employ” of their old master. Remembering those dark times left Rein to lose focus of the arena they were in. Another dark obelisk began to quickly rise from the ground, nearly colliding with the shapeshifted Clawdite. These scientists were at it again, trying to control where the combatants could or could not go to. Rein felt like a dog on display, and they seethed in anger over the situation.

The wampa’s roar brought Rein back into focus. The beast was suffering, and they needed to help it. For now, though, the Clawdite was unsure what the best possibility for this would be. Hopefully, they could play along enough that the fight would be considered over, then the creature could be released, having been thoroughly studied. The last thing they wanted to do was be forced to put the wampa out of its misery. Death was too final. They wanted better for the creature than that.

Zag watched the wheezing creature as it stilled itself against the pain of its burns. Its breath was ragged, and she felt guilt over tricking it into the trap that did so much harm to the beast. That guilt was soon replaced by fear as it looked in her direction. They say a wounded animal can be more dangerous than a healthy one, and when the wampa let out a blood-curdling roar, Zag believed that to be true. The blackened fur and charred flesh made the tall beast look infinitely more imposing.

The wampa rushed at Zag, and the Zygerrian turned tail and ran. The beast seemed almost faster in its anger. She felt the Force pull at her, and rolled out of the way of a powerful clawed paw swiping in her direction. As she rolled, she pulled out her large hammer and readied herself to defend against the beast. She swung the hammer down, trying to put her full strength into her attack, but her aim was slightly off and the hammer hit the sand. A cloud of dust rose high into the air impairing her sight.

Zag’s eyes burned from the grains of sand, and she couldn’t react in time to dodge the flailing arm that crashed into her. The wampa’s claws racked against her chest, and pain tore into Zag’s body. Her back hit the dirt and her breath was forced from her lungs. As the dust cloud settled, the wampa stalked towards ints downed prey. Zag’s canary eyes looked up in fear as she tried to catch her breath. As the beast growled in anticipation of its meal, a glint of silver collided with the creature's side eliciting a pain-filled roar.

“Zag! Get out of there!” Rein stood several yards away, a throwing knife in their grasp. The wampa turned to its attacker and charged in a furious rage.

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 18 March, 2021 1:09 AM UTC

What Went Well

I liked how you used the environment and the scenario Rein is in to draw out their history. The character’s blank affect is a point of tension in the first post that also makes it difficult for the reader to connect with Rein, but your efforts here to use the scenario to resurface their history as a slave helped to bridge that gap.

As Rein ran from the recovering wampa …

Yay, alliteration! ;)

Room for Growth

While you did give the reader a deeper look into the point of view of each character, the pace dragged a bit and the action could have done more to drive the story forward.

There were just a few syntax errors, including a lowercase academy in what should have been Shadow Academy and a typo in the second-to-last paragraph – “ints downed prey.”

The spectators milled about as some were concerned for the Zygerrian’s health, while others seemed more troubled by an untimely conclusion to their battle. Scientists, however, were too occupied fiddling with their datapads. Sage had frozen in place, holding a snack still in front of his mouth.

The ground shook. Log-sized paws stomped on the arena floor. The dagger stung as it lodged between the beast’s ribs. Burned skin made it so much more painful. Pillars rose up from the sands, trying to block the Clawdite’s path as they attempted to flee from the fuming, overgrown wampa. Searing agony and rage had blinded the ice creature. It had set its beady black eyes on the petite, lithe Human-pretender.

Rein hurdled over half-risen obstacles, their body light as a feather. The beast chugged right through it all like a wrecking ball. Sprinkles of gravel. Pillars of stone. Beams of durasteel. It did nothing to slow it down. Rubble smashed into transparisteel spectator-walls and spread across the arena floor.

The Zygerrian rubbed her eyes, blinking rapidly, trying to get the grains of sand out. She coughed and wheezed as she tried to get back up to her feet. The seeping, bloody gashes on her chest distressed her. It ached and stung so horribly much, but pumping adrenaline numbed out much of the pain. Her heart was pounding in her throat and her hands were shaky. Pointy, fur tipped ears rang with the faint movements.

Great, there goes my medical bill. Why am I doing this, again?

She squinted, her canary-yellow eyes still irritated, lids twitching and vertical-slit pupils searching for the wampa and Reinara. What she saw were clouds of dust rising up. The giant monster was flinging debris and rocks against the Colosseum’s walls, chasing that strange black-haired ‘Human’. Her buddy saved her, and now they were in trouble!

With a determined nod she inclined her head, folding her hammer down and patting Prattle. She spat out blood, of-course failing to take the wind into account and getting half a splotch stuck to her chin.

Good warning, there’s a draft.

Zag let out a deep sigh, wiping away the spittle, before activating Zoomer. A few tremulous taps on Linky to check if everything was still working, and away she went. Her jetpack left behind a plume of dust and smoke as it sent the Savant soaring through the arena.

Should’ve grabbed some goggles with me, kriffing dirt.

Rein kept running, jumping, sliding. Harder. Better. Faster. But the wampa kept storming towards the Clawdite. Stronger. Through buzzing electric coils, flame traps and obelisks. None of the obstacles slowed it down or had enough time to wind up and do damage. They managed to increase their distance a little as they went through the Colosseum's curves, but on the straight lanes the monster gained on them.

The patrons were ecstatic, cheering as they witnessed the Clawdite’s amazing athletics. The Mercenary, however, felt only the need to survive. They tossed another handful of shurikens, hoping to slow it down.

Argent stars disappeared in singed, snow-white fur. Futile. Neither shurikens nor knives were doing anything. The Reaver peered towards a duo of raising pillars ahead of them.

Let’s see if this works.

The Weapons Specialist grabbed and aimed their grappling hook at one column. With a pling, the arrow-like point wedged into the duracrete. Mid-run they snatched and held the rope, twisting it around the other pillar with their running momentum. Almost like a pole dancer, they flung themselves around it, dashing onwards as the hook wedged itself between a durasteel segment.

The wampa ran straight into the wire. The tip scraped through the duracrete, almost pulling the whole post down with it. A piece of stone chipped off and flung the metal tip into the beast’s leg. Wire coiled around its limb. It slowed down, mostly due to confusion and the sound of a roaring jetpack nearby. A furry, white cranium with tauntaun-like horns gazed upwards, its black orbs annoyed by the amount of sunlight. It raised its arm above its head to create shadows.

Zag hovered in the air directly above the predator, staying at a safe distance. She tried to ignore the lacerations over her chest, but it hurt even as she raised her arms, pulling at pectoralis muscles. Her large hands weaved in the air. With her will, she reached into the Force, asking it for assistance, gritting her teeth. The fallen pillar besides the frost giant rose up.

The wampa jerked at the wire, pounding the ground in frustration. A silhouette loomed towards the beast. Black eyes peered at it in awe as bits of rubble and dust fell off of it.

A sheen of sweat formed on Zag’s forehead as she nudged the column forwards. The Force listened. She accelerated it as if she was swinging an enormous, unwieldy hammer. By the time the wampa understood the danger, it was already too late. The object crashed into the creature, duracrete shattering as it made contact with its sternum. With a long enduring yowl the once pristine, white monster was knocked onto the dirt.

Rows of seats filled with spectators were silent as a grave. Even the red Zeltron who had come to see his new friend battle was sitting on the edge of his seat.

The swing caused Zag to twirl in the air as the effect was almost mimicked on herself. Exhaustion soon befell her. Her eyelids grew heavy and focusing became increasingly more difficult. With an emerging migraine and some struggling to keep her jetpack under control, she managed to lower Zoomer down to the ground.

Rein stood still, keeping a close eye on the dust cloud surrounding the ferocious wampa. They wondered if she had killed it. It would’ve been mercy from all the experiments the scientists would continue to do on it. Maybe it was better this way, even if the Headmistress was going to be disappointed.

There was no movement and Zaagnika seemed to be recovering after her mental exertion. Not that Savat had much sympathy for her. She seemed to be all too proud to be the hype of this battle and she relied on the Force to do her bidding.

Dust began to settle and a large, sand-covered body revealed itself. Both combatants could still hear snorting and quiet growling, even if the crowd was in a ruckus, too busy debating on the possible outcome.

Rocks stirred and there was loud breathing. A small cloud of dust puffed up with every grunt. Then an immense roar sounded through the Colosseum as a piece of metal column support rolled off the body.

Gasps erupted from the audience as they saw the ice-monster claw back on its feet. The wampa shook its head and stumbled as it tried to make its first step. A limb clutched its chest as it yowled and whimpered in agony.

Rein and Zag stared back at one another, both relieved and equally worried as it yet lived.

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 18 March, 2021 1:10 AM UTC

What Went Well

Lots of interesting action in this post. The “pole dancer” move with the columns was clever!

Sage had frozen in place, holding a snack still in front of his mouth.

I laughed at this, too. Hilarious image.

Room for Growth

Just some minor syntax things here, including misspelling your opponent’s name once as Reinara instead of Reinera, but nothing major. One thing I’ll point out:

The Reaver peered towards a duo of raising pillars ahead of them.

Instead of raising here, you needed to use rising. Raising is usually used with an object – you can raise someone or something, but you are the rising star. ;)

Or, more relevant to your sentence … They were raising the pillars. The pillars were rising.

The wampa stumbled forward, out of the debris behind it. Its white fur was blackened in some areas, missing where its skin was red from burns and drenched red with its blood in others. Rein looked at the creature with pity and sympathy in their eyes. The black eyes of the beast fought to stay open. It seemed to move almost on autopilot as it let out groans and pain-filled whimpers.

“Finish it! Finish it! Finish it!”

The crowd cheered for the beast's demise, and Rein wanted nothing more than to shut these barbaric watchers up. They wanted to walk away and deny them the carnage they so desired. But upon looking at the creature, they couldn’t help but sympathize with the hulking animal. Instincts alone forced it to continue to fight, even though it could barely stand.

They looked over to their partner for this battle, Zag. She had been enjoying the praise by the crowd, but even she could feel the weight of this creature's pain. The both of them simply listened to the crowds roaring cheers, and Rein stared up to where the Shadow Academy scientists watched on. They took their notes and looked apathetic to the wampa’s condition or disposition.

Rein moved to take a step forward, and Zag, seemingly knowing their intentions, stopped them. She grabbed ahold of their arm and held them in place.

“We are supposed to leave the Wampa alive. Those were our orders.”

Rein froze and looked on at the creature again. Its wounds were too severe, and it was barely standing. They could feel this pit of their stomach drop at the implications of their orders. This wampa, its life already forfeit of any freedom, would be subject to the same horrors they had endured for so many years. They could feel wetness at the corners of their eyes, and then their gaze hardened.

Rein pulled their arm free from Zag’s grasp and walked towards the Wampa. It backed away in fear, swiping its arm at them weakly. Rein barely had to move to not get hit by the pitiful attempt to defend itself. Rein locked eyes with the beast, and it quit moving. Its breath was ragged, and blood ran down the side of its head. It seemed to know what Rein’s plan was, and it shuddered in relief.

“I am so sorry that this was done to you. I regret the part I have played, but I will now help you. You won't suffer anymore, you magnificently beautiful creature.”

Rein unhooked one of their blasters and aimed it at the beast's head. The crowd went silent in anticipation of the mercenary's actions. With a nod to the wampa, Rein pulled the trigger, firing a burst of energy at the beast. The Wampa’s body fell backward, what remained of its head smoking. It had been a quick, clean death. One that the creature deserved. Its suffering was now over, though Rein’s was beginning.

They glared up at the scientists before turning to leave the arena. Zag could only watch their exiting form. Rein was done. No longer would they allow themselves to be used for the amusement of others. As the crowd cheered for them, tears fell from the Clawdite’s eyes. Tears shed for a creature that deserved better than what they could grant them.

Ciara Tearnan Rothwell Tarentae, 18 March, 2021 1:12 AM UTC

What Went Well

Awww. You really ramped up the feels in this post. The tears from Rein after they turned their back on Zag while the crowd cheered was a nice touch that hit a little harder due to their normal character.

Room for Growth

Despite the feels, this was a bit of an anti-climactic ending. The previous post built some suspense that the wampa may not actually be finished, but this post immediately relieved that fear and just deflated with the wampa. You may have just run into a time issue, but I feel like the story would’ve felt more cohesive and kept more of that tension if we did see the wampa truly fight with those last survival instincts rather than resign.

You only had a few minor syntax issues - capitalizing wampa a few times and forgetting to use a possessive apostrophe in the “crowds roaring cheers.”