“One minute,” said the guard by the entrance, “then you’re by yourself.”
Aru Law looked straight into his eyes. The Pantoran gatekeeper was big, almost as tall as his adoptive brother Sage. “Don’t worry,” the Human interjected, “she’ll come.”
Yet the minute passed and there was no sign of her. His Mistress, had finally agreed to help him on this investigation mission, as he had put it. Despite pulling the Master/Apprentice card, Aru had also promised Alaisy Tir’eivra that the beast they were fighting had been extensively modified through Sith rituals. That had piqued her interest.
The old fashioned gate started to rise up, their thick durasteel bars slowly lifting from the ground.
Aru looked back one last time. Nothing. The dark corridor that led towards the exit was dark and empty.
Cling cling clang cling
He smirked. “There she is.”
“Hello apprentice,” the woman’s voice came out modulated by her trademark helmet.
The tall Sith approached slowly, each step exactly the same distance as the previous one. Even the echoing sound of her bladed heels wasn’t changing in tone. She stood tall, with a gracious posture, highlighting her slender build. Behind her visor, her smokey grey eyes, surrounded by an emerald ring, looked down on her apprentice.
“Mistress! You actually came!”
“Were there any doubts?” Her menacing look was all too familiar to the Aedile, which prompted him to rethink his next words.
Luckily, before he could say the wrong thing, the Pantoran guard breathed loudly to catch their attention.
“The Headmistress is waiting,” he said.
“Right,” Law stepped to the side, allowing his Mistress to pass him, “after you, Mistress.”
Alaisy nodded slightly and stepped inside the colosseum. The people of Arx cheered at their entrance, announced by an overly-excited overweight Gungan with the heaviest of accents.
Alaisy darkened her visor to filter the harsh sunlight and conserve her pristine pale skin. Aru Law, on her side, blinked several times to allow his honey eyes to adjust to the light. The fact that he was still hungover wasn’t helping either, as he had a massive headache.
On the stands, they could see a familiar bunch. The Aedile had used his Magistrate rank to book a VIP lounge for their companions.
“This is nice!” Sage Cormac announced, stretching his long slim legs. “Hey Zag, they even have food!”
Zaagnika Umangi sat straight as a pillar in her chair. The luxurious ambience, the tasty foods she had never even seen, and Sage’s massive shoulders touching her own was all too much. “Why am I even here?” She had been invited by the large Zeltron, but she had never intended to accept. Other than their previous mission together, they hadn’t spoken again. Yet, she found herself accepting at the last minute, and was now eating whatever the muscular man was ordering from the staff.
Beside the loudmouth, and thankful for being in the leftmost chair, Amis Jumah watched eagerly to see what beast Aru would have to face this time. The state she found him when he returned from his previous assignment, fighting mastiff phalone’s with Wyndell Tyris, caused her to worry and follow him around until he isn’t required anymore.
On the other side, sitting on the edge of her seat, Zig’s bright yellow eyes were wide open as she noticed the arrival of Alaisy Tir’eivra. Not looking away from one second, she grabbed a handful of popcorn and put them in her mouth.
“Wook Era! Ere ey ae!” Sera Kaern looked and laughed at the Zygerrian’s way of speaking with her mouth full.
The Zabraki woman sipped from her cup of juice and relaxed in her chair. The match was about to begin.
“What do you think they’ll throw at us?” Aru Law asked his Mistress.
“They did not tell you?” she queried. “Are you not a Magistrate?”
The Aedile rustled his beard. “Hmm, perhaps they did tell me.” He stared at the latex clad woman with a silly smile. “Guess I forgot, hehe.”
“No matter,” Alaisy said, “we are about to find out.”
Opposite to where they were, a massive gate started to move. Its doors swung open slowly. It was followed by a loud roar that put an end to the imperceptible banter all around the crowd. Everyone waited in silence for the beast's arrival. Before the door could open completely, however, it was burst open and sent flying several meters into the arena.
Out came a massive stampeding beast. The quadrupedal horror ran frantically until it reached the arena’s center. Then it stopped and lifted its massive head. Roaaar
Immediately the arena came back to life. Hoorays and whistles echoed around the Colosseum.
The mighty beast stared at the standing duo. The light’s reflection on Alaisy’s latex suit caused it to attract the beast’s attention.
“Apprentice! You said it had suffered several Sith rituals.” the Sith woman began, anger in her tone. “It looks like a standard Tuk’ata to me.”
“I’m sure we’re about to find out some of its tricks,” Law countered. “But I’d prefer not to, actually.”
The raging Tuk’ata charged forward, its target in sight. Alaisy quickly grabbed Worship, her Bilari Electro-chain Whip, and activated it. A buzzing discharge of electricity gave it life and it bent like rope. Its joints pulsated with vibrant red, matching the hilts color. Touching the ground caused it to buzz louder.
“I will teach this creature some manners,” Said the Battlemaster, preparing to face it head on.
Aru Law, on the other hand, took the opportunity of not being targeted to circle around the creature. He was bending the Force around him to conceal his presence. Crouched and moving as fast as he could, the Gray Jedi grabbed Alana, his Monlitzer S-195 Blaster Pistol and quickly fired two bolts on the Tuk’ata’s back.
His shots were timed perfectly. The confused beast turned its head back and brought its forward legs down into a stomp. A grave mistake, for Alaisy spun on her heels and whipped hard on the creature’s neck.
It roared angrily as it turned its attention back towards the tall woman. The Sith was unforgiving on her attacks. Immediately she whipped the beast again, this time lacing the whip around its left foot. The Tuk’ata pounced to the side, pushing violently on the whip. Alaisy carved her fanged metallic heels on the ground and leaned back, gripping tightly on Worship.
“Submit!” she ordered.
Aru got closer to the beast, and tried to fire at its ankles. Since it was wrestling hard with Alaisy, he couldn’t aim properly. So he holstered his blaster and grabbed his lightsaber hilt. The green blade with a white core came to life. He then sliced one of the creature’s legs, holding the saber with both hands for maximum power.
The Tuk’ata’s strong hide prevented the blade from slashing more than one inch. But nonetheless, the beast felt pain. It got up on its back legs, forcing Alaisy to release her whip or be dragged along.
The weakened leg caused the beast to lose its balance and fall backwards. Aru had to roll away to avoid being crushed by its massive weight.
The Aedile joined his Mistress once more. “Did we do it?” He naively asked.
“No apprentice,” Tir’eivra calmly stated. “We merely angered it.”
As if on cue, the Tuk’ata got back on his fours. Its eyes were glowing red, as were its claws. Vapour emanated from its hide, and a slow yet rising light intensified in its belly. As it opened its mouth, a yellow and orange burst of flames was spat in their direction.
“Brace!” Aru law yelled, jumping in front of Alaisy and raising both hands.
For several seconds, they were engulfed in flames. And then black smoke, rising slowly. The arena was eerily quiet. Everyone there wondered what would be the fate of those two. To everyone’s surprise, they were still standing, almost unscathed.
Aru was static, his hands still up. Around him, and Alaisy, a small layer of invisible energy, now seared by the fire, slowly dissipated. Then he fell on one knee, panting hard. His sleeves were charred on the tips, and his hands had minor burns.
Alaisy straightened back up from her incomplete crouch. She used her hand to cover a small burning patch of her latex suit. The hole caused by the fire was now slowly reforming.
The Tuk’ata was now a completely different beast. Its back spine had flames shaped like spikes. Its paws were covered in vivid red blazes. And its tail burned like a flare on the tip.
Seeing its prey alive angered it deeply. It roared in challenge once again. Only this time, it sounded much more deep, like a dragged guttural roar.
“You did good Aru,” Alaisy told her apprentice.
She grabbed her lightsaber and ignited it. Twin blades of the purest red formed a staff that the Battlemaster would use to punish the audaciously bold creature.
“Heh, you called me Aru,” the Aedile joked, seeing his Mistress in front of him.
Positive Takeaways
You did a whole lot here in this post that went well, from the introduction of the beast and its mutation in an interesting manner to good use of Loadouts for both characters.
I was particularly pleased to read the interplay between Aru and Alaisy as characters— everything they did and said seemed accurate not only to them as individuals but to them as a pair, and the whole of it was really engaging and amusing both. Every beat seemed genuine and was a feast for characterization.
Can Be Improved
You had some Syntax errors, especially around commas splices or extra commas and dialogue punctuation, but they didn't overly detract from the reading. What DID detract was the additional aside of the spectators that didn't add much of anything to the narrative at this point except to get away from it. It took awhile to get to the fighting itself from the introduction, and just when you as a reader think the story is really about to kick off with Aru and Alaisy now together, the focus jumps over to their friends. This isn't the first time you've used these asides mid-battle, and as a pattern, I would caution against it. If you wish to have additional characters present for scenery, emotion, or otherwise possible exploitation, I strongly recommend either leaving it confined solely to the introduction area, or making sure the mentions are very short; one or two sentences at most in total for words used.
Now, about that Syntax. As I'm going to note to Alaisy as well, when punctuating dialogue, the simplest explanation I can give is that you must treat dialogue as either part of the sentence or removable from it. That is, whatever action is connected to the dialogue is either standalone, in which case you can use a period inside your quotes and capitalize outside it, or it's connected, and the text would be a fragment if it didn't have the dialogue.
So it looks like this, if we pretend that Aru said nothing: "He naively asked." Asked what? We've got a verb, and we've got a subject in "he," but we don't have the object. We don't have whatever it is that's been asked. We're clueless. The sentence doesn't make sense on its own because it is missing half of it.
This would be a complete sentence. The same problem and solution are applicable here and here: