Warlord Lucine Vasano vs. Privateer Sage "The Boss" Cormac

Warlord Lucine Vasano

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Sith, Seeker
vs.

Privateer Sage "The Boss" Cormac

Equite 1, Equite tier, Unaffiliated
Male Zeltron, Mercenary, Scoundrel
Comment

Thank you both for participating in the ACC and the SARLACC competition. Also thank you for your patience in the judging process.

This match was flashy, creative and action-packed. Overall it was an entertaining romp and certainly one of the must-read matches of the SARLACC competition. Syntax-wise there was a noticeable difference in the number and type of errors that were showing up with Lucine taking advantage in this category. Spell-check does not catch everything especially if you use the wrong word so always get your posts proofed with a second or even third set of eyes if you can.

There were some realism errors in this match, the biggest of which was shared by both of you. In multiple posts the rancor had an acid gas mutation which was depicted as melting clothing including leather. However, in both of your posts characters had their clothes melted off with no noticeable effect on their skin. If acidic gas was melting your clothes off it would certainly be melting your exposed skin off as well. I don’t know if the comedy bits of combatants without their outer clothing fully made up for the realism hit. There was a second realism error on Lucine’s part involving the use of alter self but because it was also a minor error that did not knock her realism score below a 4. Continuity did not have any errors per se but the addition of the rancor necklace was close. I gave some leeway because second posts are supposed to expand the plot of the first but Lucine’s description of the rancor in the opening post was fairly detailed and a magic necklace seems like a major detail. Some acknowledgement of how the necklace could have been missed at first glance in Aru’s post would have fully addressed this possible issue. Just something to consider for future matches.

Story-wise the posts were tightly-paced for the most part with strong descriptions, detailed characterizations and plenty of action. I felt the opening post could have carried the fight forward some and that the final post needed a little less humor and a little more danger to give the dramatic tension that is so necessary in ACC matches. I’m a huge fan of humor, it’s a major staple of my personal writing style but the danger of going too hard into it is you make the entire situation a joke and downplay the danger and conflict that is supposed to drive match stories. Humor should enhance the reader’s enjoyment of the action and not detract from it, at least while you aren’t in the unconventional hall. Again, something to keep in mind for future matches.

So a solid performance all around but there must be a winner and that winner is Lucine Vasano

Hall SARLACC [2021]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warlord Lucine Vasano, Privateer Sage "The Boss" Cormac
Winner Warlord Lucine Vasano
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warlord Lucine Vasano's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Privateer Sage "The Boss" Cormac's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue [SCENARIO] SARLACC 2021, Round 2: Arx Colosseum
Last Post 27 February, 2021 11:04 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Lucine Vasano Dr. Aru Law
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Some stray errors but nothing that derailed my reading experience. Rationale: You had some recurring issues with capitalization and improper word use that rose to the level of distraction.
Story - 40%
Lucine Vasano Dr. Aru Law
Score: 4 (Advantage) Score: 4
Rationale: Action, humor, visuals and characterization in strong amounts. Overall a solid performance but the opening post had some room to expand the action. Rationale: Your posts were action-packed and your characterizations were strong. I think you leaned too hard into the humor aspect of your ending which took away from the danger of the situation and the dramatic tension.
Realism - 25%
Lucine Vasano Dr. Aru Law
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: There was the acid thing, which should have been melting skin as well as clothes. But the whole illusion dress thing raised some issues. First, in your opening post you give no indication that the dress is an illusion, which in theory would violate your loadout. Second, when you do reveal it is an illusion in your second post it raises the question of how she was able to keep the alter self illusion going while doing all the other illusions she had done up to that point. I'm counting the dress thing as a single minor realism issue rather than two discrete ones. Rationale: The acid thing, see my post comments.
Continuity - 20%
Lucine Vasano Dr. Aru Law
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues that I could see. Rationale: You didn't get a ding per se but the whole necklace thing was not present in Lucine's description of the rancor.
Lucine Vasano's Score: 4.4 Dr. Aru Law's Score: 4.05
Posts

colosseum

Arx’s Colosseum is a monument to the original Petranaki arena on Geonosis, the site where the Clone Wars began with an epic clash between Jedi and Sith. However, instead of confining itself to a decrepit ruin, the Colosseum stands as an example of what the Geonosian arena once was.

Walls tall enough to be unscalable for even the most practiced Force-user surround a theatre the size of a holoball field, floored with sandy soil. Above, rows of seats are packed together into sections for spectators to observe the carnage. The dignitaries who preside over the gladiator matches instead find themselves in an elongated platform “box”, with the large stone throne reserved for the most prestigious among them, flanked by smaller seats for their companions. Large holo-projection screens occupy each of the Colosseum’s walls, displaying images of the combat below streamed by the cam droids that circle the arena.

The arena floor itself is, naturally, more dangerous than it appears. A wide assortment of traps are concealed beneath the dirt and sand, including but not limited to: retractable fire-spewing nozzles, power coils firing bolts of lightning, electrified floor panels, deadfalls lined with spikes, and even obelisks that simply erupt from the ground. These traps are operated by sentient technicians in the Colosseum’s control room, well away from the fighting.

You and another member of the Brotherhood have been tasked by the Headmistress of the Shadow Academy with gathering research data on a wide variety of dangerous creatures. In addition to the normal raucous crowds, sophisticated scanning equipment has been set up around the Colosseum floor to monitor the creatures’ behavior and vital signs under a variety of circumstances—including combat and injury.

Your goal in this scenario is twofold: provoke the creatures and hold their attention for long enough that the Shadow Academy scanners can collect a wide variety of physiological data, and prevent the creatures from destroying the scanning equipment placed in the Colosseum by the Academy researchers. Once those tasks are complete, you will be free to leave the arena (if you can) and claim your reward.

The Headmistress would strongly prefer the creature be left alive and useful after the experiment is finished. She would also "prefer" that you not interfere with the research by attempting to rescue the creature, but you may do so at your own peril.

Sage 'The Boss' Cormac leaned closer to the deactivated monitor bank that stood near the arena doors, and examined his reflection carefully in the semi-reflective surface. His hair looked perfect, and there wasn’t anything stuck in his teeth. His long coat, made from the colorful plumage of rare and exotic birds, would look great when viewed against the sand of the arena floor. The coat was open to reveal his perfectly oiled pecs and six-pack. The white silk pants contrasted sharply both with his coat and his brilliant red skin.

Yes, everything was perfect, as it should be. This was to be his first fight at this particular venue, and he wanted to make sure that he made an impression. He could only hope that his partner would take similar pride in their appearance...

“Excuse me, darling,” said a sultry voice. He turned to see a curvy redhead standing behind him, a datapad in hand. “Are you Sage Cornac?”

“Indeed I am!” Sage said as he gave the pretty thing his highest wattage smile. “But you can call me The Boss! I don't usually give autographs before a match, but for you, I'll make an exception!” And with that, he took the datapad from her hand, produced a pen from among the feathers, and signed the back with a flourish. “Here you go!”

“No, that is not— oh,” the redhead raised her eyebrows as she took the freshly autographed datapad back and lightly traced her finger over the signature. Fortunately, Sage had made sure to sign it with permanent ink. She sighed and handed the defaced datapad back to a slender Chiss in a butler's uniform. “Thank you, I suppose. But I am afraid you mistake me. My name is Lucine Vasano and I am going to be your partner in the next match.”

“Are you now?” Sage took a moment to look her up and down, taking in her outfit with a critical eye. Her black and green silk gown was cut in a manner that drew the eye to all of the right places without being ostentatious about it. It was accentuated with expensive jewerly and perfectly applied makeup. The fact that she did not appear to be carrying any weapons did not bother him at all. The most important thing was that she was fashionable. “That is fantastic! Just stick with The Boss, pretty lady, and we'll win for sure!”

“Well, your confidence is refreshing,” Lucine replied with a coy smile. “Have you heard what it is we are fighting?”

“It doesn't matter at all! The Boss takes on all combatants!” Sage replied with a booming laugh. “For example, this one time, in a fighting pit on Nar Shaddaa—” A light came on near the great door that led to the arena, causing Sage to interrupt his story. “Well! Looks like that is our cue! Let's impress them with our entrance, shall we?”

He wrapped one muscular arm around the redhead's waist and began to guide her toward the door. Behind him, the Chiss narrowed his eyes and reached for the weapon hidden in his tailcoat, but Lucine stopped him with a soothing gesture and a reassuring smile.

The sun shone brilliantly upon the arena, causing the white sand to appear pristine, and the sensor array to sparkle. Both Lucine and The Boss waved to the cheering crowd, and he was relieved to see that the woman appeared to have some experience in appealing to the audience. “Well done,” he said as Lucine finished winking and blowing a kiss to one particular member of the crowd. “Beautiful and a natural in the limelight? I think The Boss is in love.”

“Thank you, darling. You are too kind,” Lucine replied, her emerald eyes sparkling. “But we really should discuss tactics before the beast appears.”

Once again, Sage gave a booming laugh. “Nonsense!” They approached the sensor equipment, and he gave a deep bow as he gestured toward a flat surface that could serve as a seat. “You just sit here and watch The Boss at work!”

“If you are certain, darling,” the redhead said. She took the proffered seat and arranged the silks of her dress carefully.

“The Boss is always certain!” Sage replied with a wink. “And then, maybe afterwards, we can discuss future partnerships over dinner!”

Lucine's response was drowned out by a loud gong that indicated the arrival of their opponent. The massive doors across from the arena swung open, and a brilliantly colored rancor stalked onto the fighting floor. Its skin was mostly bright blue, but streaks of yellow, white and green also marked its flesh. He bellowed twice, once at the cheering crowd and again at Sage, who had struck a pose at the beast's appearance.

“What luck!” Sage called back to Lucine. “You know that fight on Nar Shaddaa I told you about? Well, during that fight, I took on a jungle rancor just like this one! This'll be child's play!” He puntuated his words with his best flex, showing off his magnificent pecs.

The rancor roared again and charged toward Sage. As he drew within striking distance, he clasped his massive fists together and brought them down in a devastating blow.

Or at least, it would have been devastating, if the blow would have struck him. Instead, the rancor's webbed fists pounded into the sand about six feet to Sage's left.

“Hah! And it seems something's wrong with this one's eyesight!” The Boss said as he glanced back at Lucine to make sure she was watching. The redhead hastily lowered her hands and folded them primly on her lap, before giving the Zeltron a sweet smile. The Boss grinned in return and closed the distance between himself and the jungle rancor in a few large strides. He punched the creature square in the snout, causing the rancor to recoil with a bellow of pain.

“Something wrong with its eyesight. Yes, surely that is it,” Lucine murmured as she lifted her hands once more and prepared to weave another illusion over their opponent.

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 28 March, 2021 2:24 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways

“Something wrong with its eyesight. Yes, surely that is it,” Lucine murmured as she lifted her hands once more and prepared to weave another illusion over their opponent.

I love your use of reader perspective here and Lucine’s justifiable annoyance at her comrade in arms. This line is the payoff for what you established earlier in terms of Sage’s blustery personality and the rancor seemingly whiffing its blows. This was a masterful stroke to end the post on.


Can Be Improved

Lucine's response was drowned out by a loud gong that indicated the arrival of their opponent.

While you did a good job moving things along by having the reader drug alongside Lucine by “the Boss” and his arrogance in the first part but it still took about 700 out of a 1000 words for the creature that is supposed to be the focus of this match to even show up. Opening posts get a lot of leeway to set up the scene and the conflict but in this particular case I think you either could have cut back on some of the opening dialogue or expanded on the action scene at the end to help the post feel more focused on the conflict with the creature.

The confused beast lifted its hand and roared in anger. It then looked towards Sage. One moment the towering Zeltron was there, but the other he was five meters to the right, and then back to the left. Its eyes danced between the red clones that came and went. And then it got tired and jumped forward.

The ground shook. Even Lucine felt it several meters behind. The Rancor had struck The Boss, but failed once more. It had crushed nothing more than a few rocks.

Sage laughed. He hesitated before punching the monstrosity on the side of its face. The Zeltron didn’t enjoy beating harmless creatures.

“What is wrong with this thing?” He yelled. Turning to the redhead, he struck a flexing pose, highlighting all of his physique. “This is too easy!”

The Sith woman merely smiled. Such a sweet smile, putting a spell on the Zeltron.

Lucine had been studying the beast carefully, her trained eyes capturing every detail that could be of interest, both for her safety, and for exploitation. One thing most peculiar about the Rancor was some sort of necklace. Although, this necklace seemed to be stitched to its neck with metal wire. And attached to it, were three jewels of blue, red and green hue.

The red jewel seemed to shine brighter than the other two, but the woman couldn’t really tell why. It wasn’t a natural light.

Move

She felt her air get squeezed out of her lungs and a crushing pain on her chest.

Immediately the redhead rolled away from her position. She barely managed to avoid the incoming blow to her person. Lucine laid on the sandy ground and looked in awe at the giant blue Rancor, that was now much closer to her. It had come out of nowhere, and had she not felt a pulling in the Force, she would have been squashed.

The redhead got back on her feet. There was no time to clean the dirt of her dress, not even time to say a word. A crushing, invisible force grabbed hold of her slim body and squeezed her tightly. She screamed.

“Is it using the Force?”

Lucine couldn’t see anything holding her, but she was being lifted of the ground by something she couldn’t see.

Sage was dumbfounded. He too had been fooled. During those seconds he had been fighting a ghost? When he looked behind and saw Lucine in pain, hovering a few inches from the ground, the Zeltron dashed towards her.

“Let her go!” the large man yelled and punched hard on the Rancor’s leg.

The beast roared and tried to shake the Zeltron off with its right clenched fist. Consequently, Lucine too got thrown in Sage’s direction.

Released from the monstrosity’s grip, the Sith woman flew a few seconds in the sky before landing safely in the massive arms of The Boss. He smiled at her, a grin as wide as his lips allowed.

“Thank you, darling.” she said, “Now put me down please. And let us figure out how we can deal with this thing.”

Sage put the Consul down carefully. Then, he ran towards the beast and slammed his fists together. The clinking of his fisticuffs got the Rancor’s attention. The beast tried to stomp the man down, to which he rolled away and behind his opponent. He punched twice, as fast as the eye could see. His first punch cracked open the durable skin that protected the beast’s leg and his second pierced into its flesh, causing the Rancor to roar in pain. It was a higher pitched scream.

Meanwhile, Lucine kept trying to feel the Force around the Rancor, namely its necklace. An aura of sorrow and grief hovered around the beast. It was in pain. Not physical pain from Sage’s attacks, but horror in its mind.

“The stones.” Lucine pondered. Could they be the ones causing the pain? Or were they just amplifying it? She was keen to test it out.

The redhead grabbed her WESTAR-34 Blaster Pistol from her outer right thigh and aimed carefully and precisely at the red stone.

Click

A silent bolt flew fast and true into the stone’s core. It shattered into thousands of pieces, and a red flash traversed the arena.

There was silence. The crowd, the Rancor, Sage and Lucine. All stopped to see what was going to happen next.

“What have you done?” Sage whispered from behind the Rancor’s leg, poking his head out.

“I’m not sure yet,” Lucine responded, very much intrigued with the rather peaceful behavior the beast was showcasing.

After she spoke, however, the blue jewel in its necklace started to shine. The creature’s eyes gleamed in the same color, and it screamed in agonizing pain. It got on all fours, unable to withstand the punishment. Its blue skin started to mutate, growing spikes on its back.

On top of each spike, a bulbous flower bloomed, releasing a yellow dust that rapidly formed into a cloud.

Sage, being closer, noticed the effects of the cloud first. He felt his plumed jacket starting to rot as soon as the yellow cloud touched it. Then it spread closer to his body. In a panicked attempt to save himself, he ripped the jacket away from his body and threw it as far as he could. Before it could touch the ground, however, it dissolved completely.

“Acid.” Lucine noticed, “How interesting”

The cloud of acid covered the Rancor. But it wasn’t hurting it. Its thick skin was, somehow, immune to the corrosion.

The beast roared in challenge, its vigor restored and its hatred for the two contenders amplified. It locked eyes with Lucine and started to beat the ground with its fists, before breaking into a frenzied run.

Sage managed to outrun the beast momentarily, taking the opportunity to grab the Sith woman by her waist and pulling her away from the destruction’s path. Luckily, the Rancor’s heavy build made it difficult to stop and turn, which allowed Sage to run in the opposite direction.

However, anywhere it went, a trail of yellow floating acid followed. And being caught in it would prove fatal.

Sage put Lucine down once again.

“Hey,” he said, “I know I told you not to lift a finger in this battle. But The Boss wants to live. If there’s any trick you can pull right now, it would be much appreciated.”

“Oh, that is unexpected. Are you asking for my help, darling?” Lucine smiled sweetly with her eyes closed.

“Yes. I can distract that piece of kark, but please think of something. There’s gotta be an idea in that beautiful red head of yours.” That said, the Zeltron straightened up and widened his shoulders as much as he could.

“You don’t let The Boss die, and The Boss takes care of you!” And then he ran back into the middle of the arena, hoping to divert the Rancor’s attention away from Lucine.

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 28 March, 2021 2:25 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways

“Oh, that is unexpected. Are you asking for my help, darling?” Lucine smiled sweetly with her eyes closed.

I laughed at this line. Excellent job with using both character sheets and expanding on their dynamics established in the first post.


Can Be Improved

He felt his plumed jacket starting to rot as soon as the yellow cloud touched it.

If the cloud is touching the jacket wouldn’t it also be touching his exposed skin, particularly around his face? This passage broke my suspension of disbelief a little.

Sage darted around the center of the arena, making as much noise as possible. Lucine, meanwhile, remained perfectly still. The rancor stood within its toxic cloud, its suspicious gaze darting between the Zeltron and the Human as it tried to determine which was the greater threat. Finally, it snorted, turned and charged after Sage.

“It’s working!” Sage whooped with glee, before quickening his pace. As he ran, he glanced over his shoulder to see that the rancor was lumbering after him on all fours. Though it moved slowly at first, it steadily gained speed until it began to close the distance between the two of them.

Lucine, meanwhile, studied the creature intently. The cloud of yellow acid billowed after the rancor but seemed to dissipate quickly. Unfortunately, the flowers continued to produce enough to maintain a constant toxic cloud around it, even while moving.

At least it isn’t using telekinesis, she thought, as she considered their options. Could its abilities be tied to the gems?

Sage ran directly toward the arena wall at top speed. At the last possible second, he skidded to a halt and turned to flex his muscles at the rancor, taunting the beast with his impressive physique. The creature gave an enraged roar and ducked its head as it charged the Zeltron. Sage dove out of the way seconds before the rancor would have collided with him, and the beast’s momentum carried it into the wall. The THUD of its impact could be heard throughout the stadium.

From what Lucine could tell, they had two options in dealing with the rancor: they could try to remove the acid cloud and deal with the creature directly, or they could try destroying another gem. Somehow, she suspected that the latter option would be more difficult, and so she decided to try the former first.

“Whoo!” the Zeltron exclaimed in triumph as he struck a pose, knowing that the sunlight and the stadium lighting was causing his impressive muscles to gleam. “What did you think of that?!”

“Very impressive,” Lucine called back as she made a gesture. Immediately, the illusion of the silk dress vanished to reveal the simple black assassin’s armor underneath. Ordinarily it suited her to alter her image to hide her armor, but for what she had planned, she would need all of her concentration. To complete the look, she swept the hood of her cloak up so that it covered her head. “Now it is my turn.”

The redhead took a deep breath, drawing upon the Force even as she began to run directly toward the creature. It stood near the wall it had collided with, swaying slightly from side to side while shaking its head slowly. Perhaps the impact had knocked it senseless. She sincerely hoped so, as it would make what she was about to attempt a lot less dangerous.

She drew more and more power into herself with every step, until she got within close range of the rancor and the acid cloud engulfed her. She leapt on top of the rancor’s back, her feet perched between two of its newly grown spikes, and immediately shifted her focus from augmenting her strength to slowing her breathing. It wasn’t a perfect plan. Her eyes burned and her vision swam as tears filled her eyes from the acid. She shuddered to think what it would do to her hair and skin if she stayed too long.

Her lightsaber flared to life in her hand as she spun, cutting through as many of the toxic flowers as she could. It was a rush job, and the plasma blade sheared through as many of the rancor’s spikes instead. With a shower of petals, the flowers began to fall off of the creature’s back.

The rancor roared in pain and outrage as it reared back, trying to shake the redhead off. Between trying to avoid breathing the toxic fumes and madly pruning the creature, Lucine had no concentration left to devote to maintaining her balance. She slipped, before tumbling off of the rancor’s back and onto the sand. The beast pounded the ground with its fists, trying to smash her, but she kept rolling as fast as she could.

“Leave her alone!” Sage roared as he darted in to deliver a series of rabbit punches to the rancor’s kidney. Or at least, where he presumed its kidney would be, if rancors had kidneys. His fists collided against the creature’s lower back with a series of heavy thuds, causing it to give a screech of pain. He leapt back, just in time to avoid its massive arm as it whirled and tried to swat him aside.

As Sage went toe to toe with the rancor, Lucine rose into a crouch. The acid was eating away at her cloak, and she hastily swept the tattered remains off. It was then that she noticed that it was having a similar effect on her armor. “Oh, hells!”

The crowd abruptly went wild with whistles and calls of encouragement. Though Sage was accustomed to accolades, he was not used to this level of enthusiasm from his adoring audience. He glanced over his shoulder at Lucine in time to see her hastily stripping out of her dissolving armor, leaving only her very expensive silk and lace lingerie. “Best! Plan! Ever!” he shouted with a grin, ignoring the fact that the rancor had turned to face him.

“Pay attention and take that thing out already!” Lucine shouted back furiously, even as she surreptitiously checked the viewing screens in the stands to make sure that the recording devices were getting her good side. They were.

“Right!” Sage replied cheerfully. Most of the acid cloud had already dissipated as a result of the rancor’s exertions, making the prospect of hand to hand combat much simpler. He fell into a defensive stance, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet as he held his fists up. He feinted with a left cross before following up with a devastating right hook that impacted solidly against the rancor’s necklace. It shattered beneath his fist, and he shouted in triumph. “Sage uses mega punch, and it’s super effective!”

“No! I meant to take the creature out, not the gem!” Lucine shouted.

The green gem began to glow as the rancor roared with pain. It once again fell onto all fours as it seemed to increase in mass and the spikes were pushed out of its back to be replaced by a single, green growth. As the beast writhed in agony, the outer layers of the growth fell away to reveal a large, pink flower. The green exterior covered much of the rancor’s back, taking on a leafy appearance. Within those leaves, tentacle-like vines slithered and snapped as if they had a life of their own.

“That…. I do not think that is a good thing,” Lucine said as she took a step away from the transforming creature. “What in the world were those scientists thinking?!”

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 28 March, 2021 2:25 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways

“Sage uses mega punch, and it’s super effective!”

Fourth wall breaks are sometimes a risky move by the author but I felt this line and the obvious nod to venusaur later paid off. One could say they were effective.


Can Be Improved

He glanced over his shoulder at Lucine in time to see her hastily stripping out of her dissolving armor, leaving only her very expensive silk and lace lingerie.

So just like the prior post this presents some awkward questions about why her clothes melted off but didn’t melt her skin off. You gained some in story with the comedy bit but took the hit on realism.

Immediately, the illusion of the silk dress vanished to reveal the simple black assassin’s armor underneath.

Alter self specifically says it requires “full concentration” to use, which raises the question of how Lucine was able to pull off the illusions she has been up to this point while maintaining the alter self. This is either a continuity error or a realism error. I'm counting this as a single minor realism error rather than dinging you for this post and for not following your loadout in your first post (you didn't give any indication it was an illusion in the first post).

The Rancor’s tentacles were aimed towards the Zeltron, arching upwards and pointing their sticky end downwards.

Sage looked in disgust at the horrible creature that stood in front of him.

“Geez, you really are ugly.” he stated.

The enormous beast stepped forward and let its newly acquired weapons do the job for it. Both tentacles slammed hard on the ground. Sage managed to jump back and avoid being hit. A cloud of dust rose from the impact, an advantage that the Zeltron took to lunge forward and punch the beast on its jaw.

It howled in pain, but reacted quickly by strapping both tentacles around Sage, one on his right leg and the other on his torso.

Although bulky, the Zeltron was lifted off the ground like a ragdoll and slammed hard against the wall of the arena.

The Boss fell, and for a few seconds he was disoriented, not being able to get back on his feet properly.

It didn’t help that, as soon as he got slammed, Lucine put herself between him and the Rancor, lightsaber in hand and bracing to protect her partner.

Sage enjoyed a privileged sight of the Arconan Consul’s body features. A skin so perfect it glimmered, natural curves to wish for and a choice of lingerie that hypnotised The Boss.

Lucine however, wasn’t very fond of her position right now. the Rancor roared in challenge towards the redhead for putting herself between its prey. It swung its right arm at the woman, sharp claws fully extended out. The Sith ducked gracefully and immediately slashed upwards with her lightsaber, for the rancor had also tried to entangle the woman with one of its tentacles. With a clean swipe, she severed the appendix from the beast, causing it to howl in agony.

Sage got back on his feet. He had several bruises on his torso. And his pants were also torn and dirty. He looked towards them, then to Lucine’s appealing figure, then back to his pants.

“Ah, frick it!” he yelled. Sage ripped out his pants, revealing a speedo of the exact same color of his skin tone.

The crowd cheered wildly while some averted their eyes. Even Lucine lost her composure at the sight of the towering muscular Zeltron, her eyes going wide open.

“And how is that supposed to help?” She asked.

“It’s not,” Sage replied, “but it feels good!”

The Sith woman rolled her eyes and turned her concentration back into the fight.

They noticed that the previously severed tentacle was re-growing. And along with it, two more tentacles were now sprouting out of the Rancor’s pink flower. Sage’s face went dumb, and Lucine quickly came to regret having cut that tentacle.

“What now?” The Zeltron asked.

“Our best chance is to destroy the last gem, really.” Lucine explained. “It seems to be the source of its powers.”

“Then what are we waiting for?” Sage bloated. “We already destroyed two, what’s one more?”

“It’s not like it is that eas…” Lucine didn’t get to finish her sentence. She only got time to witness Sage dash like a fool towards the tentacle covered Rancor, only to be immediately entangled and suspended in the air. “Great, now i have to save him again.”

The redhead ran nimbly, dodging every tentacle and arm swing the beast threw at her. As she went around the Rancor, looking for a weak spot, her foot got caught by one of the tentacles. Lucine immediately reacted by cutting it, which prompted even more tentacles to start growing.

Sage debated with the vicious grip that the only tentacle restraining him caused. He was flexing hard on his muscles, trying to widen the grip on himself, but the more he forced, the more it pressed on him. It was crushing his lungs at this point, making it hard to breathe. The Zeltron gasped for hair.

The Sith woman tapped into the Force to aid her in a jump. She arched graciously over the Rancor and near Sage. With a single movement of her wrist, she precisely cut through the tentacle that punished the Zeltron.

Sage got free of the creature’s grip and fell. Lucine, on the other hand, became the target of all of the Rancor’s ferocity. It turned all appendices towards the woman and grabbed her. All the tentacles were trying to pull her apart. The redhead tried to hold the pain as much as she could, though it wasn’t going to last long.

The Boss took a huge breath, regaining his might. Upon hearing lucine’s grunts of torture, the towering man got back up and punched twice in the Rancor’s belly. It turned its head towards him, never letting go of the Consul.

“Yeah! Come at me you big pile of kark!” The Boss challenged.

The rancor tried to punch him, but Sage was fast. He grabbed tightly on the beast's arm and pulled it towards him, causing it to become unbalanced. As the Rancor tumbled down, its tentacles threw Lucine up in the air.

Sage then took the opportunity to get real close to the creature’s necklace and punched as hard as he could on the green jewel. It shattered with a BOOM, and with it, a cavity in the Rancor’s neck opened and blood gushed out.

The dying beast tried one last time to fight back, scratching the falling woman only slightly. Sage leaped towards her and held her in the air, turning to protect her from the fall.

One last howl of pain, and the creature was dead. As the dust settled, Sage turned on himself, being on top of the much smaller Lucine, covering her entire body.

“We are a good team.” he said, a flirty smile on his lips.

“Get off of me please.” The Consul asked.

“I really shouldn’t.” The Boss whispered, a jokeful tone in his voice.

“And why is that, darling?” Lucine asked, playing along. She was preparing to make a rather nasty attack on the Zeltron’s more sensitive parts.

Sage pointed to the right with his head, prompting the woman to look in the same direction. Several meters away were the remains of her bra, in the ground, slashed in half. Lucine’s cheeks turned the same color of her hair, and she tried to hide her face.

“Do not move!” She ordered.

“I don’t plan to, I’m enjoying this.”

They stood like that until the arena gates were open again and a very hasteful Tabriss ran towards the redhead with a robe to cover her up.

Councillor Turel Sorenn, 28 March, 2021 2:26 PM UTC

Positive Takeaways

“And why is that, darling?” Lucine asked, playing along. She was preparing to make a rather nasty attack on the Zeltron’s more sensitive parts.

I like the characterization in this scene.


Can Be Improved

He looked towards them, then to Lucine’s appealing figure, then back to his pants. “Ah, frick it!” he yelled. Sage ripped out his pants, revealing a speedo of the exact same color of his skin tone.

Did you mean “off” instead of “out” because ripping out one’s pants conjures some uncomfortable mental imagery?

You also had a recurring issue where you used forms of appendix when you meant appendage.