OT Rrogon Skar vs. SWL Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj

Obelisk Templar Rrogon Skar

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Kaleesh, Obelisk, Juggernaut
vs.

Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Sith, Seeker
Comment

On realism: you both have to be more careful about clearly identifying when one of the characters is using the Force, and when they are doing something through mundane means. In Rrogon's case, I think the intent was to use the Rage power in the first post, and if so, neither of you really accounted for the exhaustion that should have taken place after it passed. You both mentioned it, but it didn't have a substantive effect on what the character was capable of afterwards. Also, when Andrelious 'threw' Rrogon over the table, was that a Force attack, or did he literally do so? Without being clear on what your intent was, I can't really evaluate whether it's realistic or not.

When the story starts with a plot hook like it did, you both missed a golden opportunity to provide a resolution. Why did Andrelious have that data on his datapad? Rrogon's answer was "we'll find out later at the trial" and Andrelious' answer was "that's my secret, and I'm not telling." Rrogon, don't get scared of actually putting an answer forth for the question Andrelious posed initially. The ACC is a form of collaborative storytelling. It doesn't matter if your answer is what he initially intended. If your answer makes for a better story, that's what the reader (read: judge) will care about. In this case, since Andrelious didn't end up giving an answer, if you'd have come up with something, I'd have probably given you the edge in realism, and that would have been the difference in the match.

All in all, this wasn't bad. I just think there were some missed opportunities on both your parts. Andrelious gets the victory.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants OT Rrogon Skar, SWL Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
OT Rrogon Skar's Character Snapshot Snapshot
SWL Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Shadow Academy - Central Library of Lyspair
Last Post 5 March, 2015 9:11 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Deleted Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Rationale: You made a few jarring typos. Also, be careful about referring to a combatant by their position (BTL), when the other combatant is also in the same position. The point is to identify who you're talking about, not cause confusion.
Story - 40%
Deleted Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 3 Score: 2
Rationale: So... what was Andrelious doing with those coordinates on his datapad? You started off well, giving a good reason for the fight, but left it all unresolved. Rationale: Neither of your posts added anything to the nice plot hook that Andrelioius started the battle off with. I feel like you handicapped yourself a fair bit with the shortness of your first post. It's above the required limit, sure, but it's really hard to actually have meaningful development inn so few words.
Realism - 25%
Deleted Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: See general comments. Rationale: See general comments.
Continuity - 20%
Deleted Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Rationale:
Deleted's Score: 3.55 Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona's Score: 3.0
Posts

The library was designed to look ancient. Old architecture. Cold, grey brick. High arches and a vaulted, domed ceiling. Wrought-iron sconces hang from the walls to provide light, flickering with real flames. It had all been crafted to hide the fact that the Academy was less than two decades old. The lower level is rectangular, twice as long as it is wide. The middle is filled with chairs and tables, where students study. On either side, large wooden bookshelves hold tomes of knowledge accessible to all members of the Brotherhood. In the center of the floor stands a monument to Jedgar Octavius Paladin, the founder of the first Shadow Academy.

By taking one of the two main staircases on the North and South sides of the library, one can access the second floor. The two sides of the upper level are connected by stone pathways, and the first floor was completely visible below. The upper level held fewer tomes, but contained more advanced knowledge. Often, it's used by students who required silence and introspection for their studies.

Despite the solemn purpose of the library, fights still break out between the students, who always seek to prove themselves against their peers. Punishment awaits those who damage the library, but rarely do instructors step in to stop the fights. Students usually watch in interest, or place bets on the combatants, glad for the show to break up the monotony of their studies

You know you will have to answer for your transgressions, but you can no longer contain the desire to fight. You listen to the whispers as the other students place bets, but you can also sense those who might ally with or against you. The Academy may be a place of neutrality, but it was hard to leave loyalty to your House at the door. You brush your thumb over your weapon, focusing on your opponent as tables clear around you. There is no turning back now…

The Shadow Academy was a familiar place to Andrelious, who had served as Arcona’s Rollmaster for nearly two standard years. Today, he had headed to its library in an attempt to find some history tomes that would help him piece together the earliest days of his new command, Soulfire. The Arconan archives had a lot, but there was some information from around the time of the Exodus that had apparently been lost on the move from Coronada.

Sighing with frustration as he finished searching another shelf to no avail, Andrelious turned to move towards the next one, but walked straight into Rrogon Skar, a member of Galeres’ rival House, Qel-Droma. The Kaleesh was carrying a large stack of tomes and had not been watching carefully enough to spot the much shorter Warlord. As the two Arconans collided, Skar had lost his grip on what he was carrying, sending the tomes everywhere.

“Watch where you’re going!” Mimosa-Inahj snapped, dropping his datapad. The device slid across the floor. Skar went to pick it up, intending on handing it back to his fellow Arconan, when he noticed that it contained a list of coordinates for systems belonging to the other Clans.

“What’s all this about?” the Kaleesh questioned.

Andrelious snorted. “That is my private datapad. I suggest you forget what you saw, Skar.”

“I can’t do that. You know orders are to report any suspicious activities to the Summit. I’ll leave it to them to decide what you were trying to do,” the Templar answered coldly.

The Sith’s eyes flickered red. With a flash, he had his lightsaber armed and ready.

“Marick wouldn’t have entrusted me with the trophy of Nicht Ka if he felt my loyalty was suspect, you stupid Kaleesh. One more chance. Forget what you saw or you will leave this place in a body bag,” the Warlord threatened, pointing the green blade of what had once been Warb Null’s lightsaber directly at Skar’s head.

“I don’t want to fight you, Andrelious. Allow me to report this to the summit. You know that the new Shadow Lord will listen to you, at least,” the Gatekeeper answered, already reaching for his own lightsaber.

“That is not a chance I’m prepared to take. I’m sorry, Skar.”

The Templar, now armed with his lightsaber, charged at Andrelious with a roar. The nature of the attack caught the Soulfire Captain slightly off guard and it was only with some difficulty that he managed to deflect it away.

“Impressive. My faith in Miss Voth was well placed. She’s taught you well,” the ex-Imperial stated.

Skar said nothing, focusing instead on upping the intensity and frequency of his lightsaber blows. His opponent, though he was far more experienced with the ways of the Force, was compelled to fight defensively, blocking a series of varying attacks whilst managing only the occasional counter. The sheer strength of the Kaleesh only added to the difficulty of the battle. In many ways, Skar was the archetypal Obelisk. Physically powerful, whilst using the Force to enhance what advantages he already possessed over his opponents.

Realising that he was far weaker than the Qel-Droman, Andrelious made his mind up. He had to retreat. He had observed the later parts of Skar’s training, under Nath Voth, and had noticed that whilst the Templar was an incredibly fighter at close range, he was far weaker against opponents that were out of his immediate reach. Every attempt that the Sith made to back off, however, was easily caught and stopped, with the Gatewarden keeping up the pressure with a series of extremely powerful downward slashes that took all of the ex-Rollmaster’s efforts to block. Stepping back, Mimosa-Inahj ducked to avoid a higher attack, before stepping back again. Rrogon stepped forwards, but put his foot on one of the tomes that he dropped. He felt his foot slipping slightly. As he went to regain his balance, Andrelious acted, stunning his new enemy with a small bolt of electricity.

Taking a few seconds to recompose himself from the rather painful electric shock, Skar realised that the Warlord had made the most of the respite from the barrage of slashes, and had moved back a little, away from any immediate danger.

“One last chance, Knight Twenty-Eight. I don’t want to have to destroy one of my own former Journeymen,” Andrelious warned.

Rrogon crimson eyes flashed brighter as the Warlord’s words hit his ears. A blood chilling rage consumed him as the Human’s words brought back horrible memories from his enslavement under the Hutts.

“You think I was ever ‘yours’, Human? No, Nath was my Master. You were just a sad little man trying to grab at power that was spoon fed to him!”

With a primal howl of pure fury, the Kaleesh charged forward and lashed out with a overwhelming string of attacks that had Andrelious retreating. Each blow had his arms buckling inward from the strength behind the emerald blade. Continuing to press his advantage, the Obelisk backed the smaller male into one of the many alcoves that lined the wall.

Seeing that how bad of a position he was in, the Sith tried to push the young Kaleesh back with a wide swipe of his blade. The pure instincts of the former Arena champion kicked in as he spun around and landed a devastating kick to the hilt of the ancient lightsaber that the Warlord held and sent it flying off to some unknown part of the room.

Feeling his blood rage start to wear off and the familiar strain on his body return once more, Rrogon knew he need to make time for him to recover. Seizing the Sith by the throat, he lifted the shorter male to eye level and bashed him hard against a bookshelf, which made several books from the highest self fall down around them.

Raising his arm, the Kaleesh curled his hand into a fist and dealt a punch square on the struggling Human’s face. Narrowing his eyes, Skar knew that with his fatigue he wouldn't do much… still doesn't mean he couldn't have some fun with the little Human trying to claw at his hand and arm.

Struggling uselessly against the teenaged alien, Andrelious’ face contorted in agony as Skar’s fist impacted with his face, causing blood to flow freely from his nose and lips. The Templar punched his opponent again, this time making contact with the Soulfire Captain’s jaw. A crunching sound indicated that it had been fractured by the blow. The sensation of pain enveloped Andrelious’ struggling form, even as he called on the Force to dull the ache.

“Pathetic little man,” Skar repeated rather breathlessly. Mimosa-Inahj could sense that the Obelisk was beginning to flag; another punch lacked the feeling of slamming into a wall of durasteel that had been carried with the first two attacks. The Warlord stretched out his right hand, calling his lightsaber back to him. Rrogon was ready for such a move, and held his blade ready to parry the almost instantaneous counter-attack as Andrelious’ fingers curled around the unusually long hilt.

To the Gatewarden’s surprise, when the attack came, it was not from the antique weapon – instead, the Galerean flicked Skar through the air, hurling him along a table. The students at the table, apparently Krath Acolytes, had been so engrossed in their studies that they had not been watching what was happening. As their datapads were disturbed by the sliding Kaleesh, however, that changed. The students stared open mouthed at what Andrelious had done.

“Be gone, Journeymen! This is what happens when you attack an Equite of the Sith!” the Warlord warned, stepping aside to allow the frightened Acolytes to flee. Skar, meanwhile, had recovered, and charged along the table, snarling. As he reached its end, he leapt high in the air, trying to slice the former Rollmaster clean in half. Mimosa-Inahj stepped back and raised his lightsaber, again calling on the Force to reduce the velocity of his opponent’s descent to the point that he was easily able to deflect the attack away. Despite this, his leg muscles still protested painfully as the two blades met in mid-air, the shower of sparks almost setting a nearby shelf alight.

Landing on his feet, Rrogon charged once more, roaring loudly as he delved into his energy reserves, apparently free of fatigue. With a vigour and lust for blood so strong that it could be mistaken for that of a rancor, Skar hacked and slashed, forcing his far older opponent back into a series of defensive parries. Andrelious found his arms and legs becoming increasingly heavy with each blow he blocked, but tried to hide his exhaustion behind an expression of sheer determination. His body began to cry out at him, begging him to rest, but instead it was Skar who relented, his fury driven attack coming to a swift, tiring end. Without wasting any time, Mimosa-Inahj fought back, hard, giving the alien no chance to catch his breath.

Ducking the first two attacks, Skar, despite the Force warning him what was coming, had no answer for the third, allowing Andrelious to dig his lightsaber blade deep into the Templar’s midriff. Rrogon cried out in pain, the mixture of the wound and tiredness causing him to fall to his knees.

“Typical new Equite. You see the potential inside, but you try to unleash it all at once. You lack the discipline, the patience you need. Without that, you’re nothing, young Rrogon,” Andrelious said, almost forgetting he wasn’t Rollmaster anymore.

“I’ll end you, Human. Once the summit hears of what you had on your datapad…” Skar responded weakly.

The former Imperial chuckled a little as he walked towards his wounded enemy. “It’s a shame. You made one hell of an Obelisk. I’m sure Revs will make an excellent Gatewarden,” he stated.

Seeing his opponent approach, Skar held tightly onto his lightsaber, and, with what was left of his strength, leapt at Andrelious. The Warlord, having foreseen the last-ditch attack, moved to block, but was unable to act fast enough.

The Gatewarden’s blade slid into Andrelious’ right shoulder, causing the Galerean to cry out in agony and release the grip on his own weapon. Acting on pure instinct, Skar kicked the hilt away and held his blade over the injured Human’s head. The ex-Imperial would not have any of the notion that he had been defeated, and aimed a kick in the direction of Rrogon’s existing wound. The kick was badly aimed, but painful enough to force the Kaleesh back. The quick thinking Warlord reached for his E-11 and fired, three times. Skar parried away the blaster bolts, but the act of doing so gave Andrelious long enough to retrieve his lightsaber once again.

“That’s twice you’ve taken it off me. I shan’t be so quick to let it go again,” the ex-Rollmaster declared, re-holstering his blaster. Aside from the ongoing pain that he felt from his damaged jaw and bloody nose, Andrelious could also sense that his enemy was close to passing out. Taking his time to approach, the Sith knelt down beside the hurt Templar.

“Well fought, Rrogon,” he stated warmly, before plunging his lightsaber through the Obelisk’s heart.

Rearing back for another punch Skar grinned inwardly as the struggling of the Human he held intensified. The Sith continued in vain as he tried to get away, once again the Kaleesh fist connected with the warlords face.

Frowning slightly, the Juggernaut saw that his attacks were doing little damage to the portly Human he was holding, growling slightly at this fact. Looking over at his fist, he began to let the Force gather around it. Once the Kaleesh felt his fist crackling Dark side energy, he proceeded to pound the Warlord’s face into the wood shelving behind him while grinning madly .

After the seventh punch, Rrogon felt the hand of the Sith on his chest. The Battleteam Leader had only a half a second to gather the Force around the area before he was flung backwards, his talons drawing blood as his grip on the Soulfire Captain’s throat was forcibly removed by a point-blank shot of telekinetic force.

Tumbling over several tables, Rrogon finally landed and quickly got back on his feet as he rubbed his chest were the most Force was used. ‘Well that was close, but it shouldn't even leave a bruise.’ Skar thought to himself as he refocused his attention on Andrelious. The Human was having a hard time standing on his own two feet.

Letting a low rumbling laughter escape his lips, the Obelisk stood to his fullest height and began stretching the muscles in his arms and torso.

“What's wrong old man? I thought the person who got Warb Null’s lightsaber was someone of great strength and skill. This is just disappointing. Look.. I’m going to give you one more chance: come with me now, or I deliver you and that datapad to the Shadow Lady in a nice little body bag…. might even put a bow on it too.”

Lifting his head the ex-Imperial gave him a look of pure loathing.

“You fracking animal! Kanis should have left you in the pits were you belong! It’s the only thing you and your kind are good for. The Empire should had jus-”

The Sith never finished his statement as Skar’s Force covered fist slammed into his temple. The Captain of Soulfire crumpled to the ground bonelessly limp.

The Gatewarden’s booming laughter filled the now empty library as he stood over the Human. Gazing around at the mess they had made, Skar shrugged and picked up the datapad and his lightsaber.

“Well this is someone else’s mess to clean up. I need to get these to the Shadow Lady at once.”