SBM Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr vs. SW Taranae Rhode

Battlemaster Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Chiss, Sith, Sorcerer
vs.

Warrior Taranae Rhode

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Female Human, Sith, Juggernaut
Comment

While both sets of posts had some good points, overall there were serious issues with realism. Story seemed forced and had an issue with it's very premise. While it was close on some points, Taranrae was the clear winner.

Hall Scenario Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants SBM Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr, SW Taranae Rhode
Winner SW Taranae Rhode
Force Setting Unleashed
Weapon Setting Standard
SBM Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr's Character Snapshot Snapshot
SW Taranae Rhode's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Codei Prison - Dungeons
Last Post 11 March, 2015 4:44 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr Envoy Taranae Rhode
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: Lots of minor errors. One glaring Star Wars style error (it's just "Naboo" when describing a person from there) Rationale: Bunch of minor errors as well. Sentence construction errors around quotes also noted.
Story - 40%
Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr Envoy Taranae Rhode
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: The problem here is that the whole story is coming from a premise that seems a bit hokey and doesn't really fit the characters. Brimstone is overly portrayed as a manipulative bastard, but his CS doesn't really support that. Even ignoring that, the story is still cliche and only mildly interesting. Rationale: A lot of good story beats here, though the premise is a bit cliché. The lack of originality is preventing me from giving a higher grade.
Realism - 25%
Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr Envoy Taranae Rhode
Score: 0 Score: 3
Rationale: While there were several realism issues in the post, in the end a Major Detractor has to be awarded due to the use of mulitple powers (conviction, midnight spear) in your second post. These powers no longer exist, much less exists on your character sheet. Therefore, a Major Detractor must be awarded Rationale: Power use was fine, but there's an issue here. One of the premises here involves Brimstone doing things outside the battle that his telepathy score can't support. Thus, the realism score is being docked accordingly. There is also issues with the effects of attacks
Continuity - 20%
Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr Envoy Taranae Rhode
Score: 4 Score: 5
Rationale: Minor continuity error at the start of your second post. Not sure your read on Tar's mental state is accurate Rationale: Nothing I could find
Warlord Brimstone aka Seabr'imsto'nedansr's Score: 2.45 Envoy Taranae Rhode's Score: 3.8
Posts

You enter the dungeon via turbolift, hundreds of feet below the surface of Antei, down into the deepest depths of the Codei Prison. As you step out of the lift, the first thing you notice is the heat—a sweltering, miserable heat generated by the molten lava that both powers and protects the prison. The walls shine in the flickering light, the moisture dripping slowly downwards to create creeping tendrils of moss on the dark stone.

The second thing you notice are the chains dangling from the ceiling. Massive, twisted strands of black metal ending in a pair of stone manacles, hanging roughly seven feet in the air—high enough to make just standing in them a torture in itself. You know the chains and manacles have been forged with Sith Alchemy. They were constructed to prevent even an Elder from accessing the Force. Those bound by the black chains would be utterly helpless. Escape would be impossible.

The room is rectangular, seemingly carved out of solidified magma, and roughly the size of a small transport. Against each wall stands immaculate, durasteel tables covered with sharp, ugly instruments used for torture and interrogation. You can sense a myriad of deadly machines hidden just out of sight underneath the tables, waiting to administer both drugs and pain. Splashes of blood, having long-dried into the bedrock, remain as evidence of those who had suffered here before. Echoes of their ghastly screams seem to reverberate around the dungeon, sending shivers down your spine.

The doors of the turbolift close with a soft whoosh, cutting off your only escape. You stand in the dungeon of the Codei Prison—the inescapable hell for enemies of the Brotherhood—and you are not alone.

There was no turning back. Taranae tore her gaze away from the turbolift as they closed and gazed around the room. The sight that met her eyes shocked her - she didn't realise that this place existed on Antei, but she had followed her Master's Force signature here. She absent-mindedly brushed a stray lock of hair from her face as she saw Brimstone. He was stood with his back to her and was examining some of the durasteel tables against one wall of the room. Dressed in his officer's uniform he looked smart and pristine; a far cry from the man she met when she was brought into the Brotherhood. He stood with an air of indifference, but she knew he had sensed her even before she exited the lift.

"I presume you wanted to see me about something?" he mocked as she walked forwards. Taranae bit her tongue. She knew he was toying with her and trying to make her angry so she would attack without thinking. As she approached she looked around again, trying to formulate a plan.

"Yes, indeed I did Master," she mocked back. "I see we have a new recruit to Plagueis." Brimstone stiffened. Taranae could see from his movements that he had expected the questions sometime, but not so soon.

"Yes," he replied, almost cautiously "she is making a fine addition to the Brotherhood."

"Why did you not tell me we had a new member, Master?" she mocked again. "Could it be that you thought you'd be able to hide her from me? Hide my past and the fact that you lied to me?"

"Apprentice, what I did, I did for your own protection." he replied. "I never expected you to find out this way."

"Then why did you bring her here?" she almost shouted at her Master.

"She began to show signs of Force sensitivity, so I decided she would be of use to us."

Taranae could hold back no longer. "You lied to me about my family. You told me I had killed them. Now as soon as my family get a little peace, you rip the heart from it and bring yet another of my loved ones here to corrupt and bend to your will? And what of my Mother? Does she lay dead now?" With that she drew her lightsaber and rushed at Brimstone.

He knew the attack was coming and as Taranae raced towards him, he spun and gestured. Taranae gestured too, and as her Master's attack reached her, she felt it rip away her protection and she was pushed back by a couple of feet but still remained standing. Visually sweating with the effort and wobbling slightly on her legs, she glared at Brimstone.

"If you thought me the same young impetuous upstart that you met on Ziost, you're only...half...right...." She gestured and electricity flowed from her fingertips towards him. At another gesture from Brimstone, a slight haze in the air materialized in front of him, and the electricity dissipated harmlessly.

"Hmm it seems I taught you too well, apprentice." he mused. "You may be a little more difficult than I first thought."

"I believe you and I have a score to settle, Master," she spat. "Now let's see exactly how well you did train me, shall we?"

Taranae swung for her Master's head and he bent over backwards, with her swing missing his head completely, while at the same time, he didn't miss, and did a front kick that caught her squarely in the chin, the force of the impact flipping her head over heals and straight onto one of the durasteel tables, smashing and crushing it on impact. Brimstone finished his somersault backwards and landed in a crouch, facing her. "Good thing the table was flawed" he thought to himself.

The Sith Warrior rolled over, and quickly swiped a tooth extractor that was perched dangerously close to her left eye. "How could I been so foolish" she thought to herself.as she rolled over to face her master, she had noticed that he had both of his charric blasters out, both aimed at her. She felt the incoming barrage and threw up another barrier just in time. Then with the Force enhancing her strength and agility, grabbed both edges of the busted table and chucked them at her Master. He quickly dove out of the way and through one of the doorways.

"Coward!" she yelled at his sudden departure. "Now I know you were the worst mistake in ever trusting you." She called on her lightsaber, as it sprang back into her grasp.

"Then why don't you come find me, Apprentice" Brimstone spoke to her telepathically.

"You should know, never anger a woman, much less a red-headed one" she yelled back at him as she cautiously went to the doorway and peered around the corner. The long hallway was dimly lit, but she could see he was no where around. Pulling out one of her DL-44 pistols, she headed out. Telling by the ancient dust on the floor, she could tell he headed towards the right and proceeded to track him, keeping her senses at full alert. She couldn't help but feel more powerful. Was this dungeon entrenched with the dark energies of past victims that had died here? Or could it have been from the recent planet-side destruction that was caused by the former Grand Master, Muz Ashen? She didn't know, but she was tapping into it, feeding off the energy like a leech on a fresh carcass.

Taranae made it around the corner, and came to an even larger room, with tons of broken furniture, cabinetry, and droids. She then saw her master, peering out an window that overlooked a pit. Calling on the force, she hurled her lightsaber at him. micro-seconds flew bye as it made its mark into Brimstone's back, only to go straight through and out the window, shattering it, with Brimstone's illusion fading away.

"NNNNOOOOOO!!!!" she screamed. She fell for one of the easiest Sith tricks. She ran over to the window to see if she could reach with the Force for her weapon, and saw that her Master was already down in the pit, with her lightsaber in hand. He smiled at her, turned it off, and then dropped it on the ground. He motioned at her to "come hither" with his index finger. Not knowing if it was another trap, Taranae leaped from the window, to the ground. She called upon the Force to make a safe landing on her feet. Brimstone then quickly kicked her llightsaber in the air towards her, which she caught.

That was when he attacked. Wielding the Force like a lover, he telekinetically started yanking electrical covers and sliding doors off the walls and hurled them towards her. She danced gracefully in a full circle, weaving between the barrage and slicing out of harms way, every instrument of death coming towards her.

As she stood there waiting for his next attack, he spoke up. "Remember Ziost, what I said to you about your family? I told you that they were holding you back. Now that you know the truth, they are holding you back once again."

"You had no right to molest my memories. You tricked me into my family's murder" she quipped back.

"I never said you killed them, you only assumed that you did when you woke up on your shuttle."

"Proof enough of you raping my mind for your pleasure. I will kill you for it" she retorted.

While they were bantering back and forth at one another, Taranae didn't realize that her Master was using the exchange as a distraction, as he slowly dragged four electrical cables along the ground like deadly, venomous serpents, ready to strike. He then smiled and attacked with his grounded "pets".

Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia, 19 March, 2015 3:44 AM UTC

I had some major issues with the attack sequence in the first paragraph here. The physics of the whole thing just didn't make sense.

Taranae's anger was at its peak now, and she could feel the Force flowing through her like a river. She had come here to make her Master pay, and pay he would. Her senses suddenly screamed at her and she ducked, rolling forward and coming out of the roll in a crouch as the cables struck the area in which she had just been standing, sparking and flashing. It had obviously been her Master's intent to electrocute her, rendering her unconscious or worse still, dead. She thrust out her lightsaber, trying to impale her Master, but as her attention had been on the strike from behind, Brimstone somersaulted over his apprentice and landed lightly behind her. But instead of attacking, he used the Force to boost himself and leaped back through the window into the room where his apparition had been previously.

"Master! I tire of this foolishness now. Face me like the Sith you think you are!" she shouted after him. When no response came, she sheathed her lightsaber and gave chase, calling on the force as Brimstone had just done, to help her jump to the height of the window. She perched on the window's edge, waiting for an attack that never came. As she reached out with her senses, she could detect him in the room beyond; the room they had entered this accursed place by.

Dropping lightly from the window, her feet making no noise, she carefully made her way across the floor to the doorway where she pressed herself against the wall beside the door and gingerly peered around the frame. Brimstone was pacing the floor, waiting for her. She knew that he had probably already sensed where she was by now, so she gazed around the room once more, formulating a plan of attack. There was obviously the option of charging him with weapons and force powers, but another option sprung to mind. Leaving her weapon sheathed, she pulled away from the wall and entered the room.

Her Master tensed, his hands at the ready near his blasters, as he saw Taranae enter. He relaxed slightly as he saw her weapons were sheathed, seeming safe in the knowledge that she could not best him with powers alone.

"I have thought about what you said in the pit, Master." she chirped. "You're right. I'm being held back once again."

Brimstone tensed again, unsure as to where this was going. Taranae walked calmly towards him, her hands up in a show of peace.

"You're right. All you did was in my best interests, you did what you did to my mind so I would progress and not be held back."

Now her Master showed signs of concern, his brows wrinkling as he tried to judge what she was up to. Taranae saw the safety catches flip off on the blasters attached to his belt and smiled inwardly. Her plan was beginning to work.

"I realised I was being held back by you. You invaded my mind, thinking it was to help me, but all it did was hold back my memories. You knew when you brought Vanessa here what would happen and you thought yourself high and mighty enough to still be able to best me."

Now Brimstone grinned and reached for his blasters quickly. Taranae was ready, though, and her already raised hands made her next task that much easier. Brimstone let off a round from each of his blasters, both aimed at Taranae but shouted in shock as they fired harmlessly into the ceiling above her. Taranae just stood with one hand outstretched towards him, grinning as the manacles above him clamped around his wrists. Using the Force, she had quickly used his loss of concentration as he reached for his blasters as a distraction as she controlled the manacles to snag his wrists. Brimstone struggled in the restraints, his anger rising.

Taranae strolled up to him, making sure to keep out of kicking distance. Just for good measure, she gestured and two other manacles clamped her master's ankles, pinning him to the wall. With his arms outstretched above his head and his legs splayed, he could do nothing. Taranae gestured and the manacles pulled tighter, drawing his arms and legs out more and Brim wondered if her intent was to rip him apart, but she cocked her head to one side as though she was thinking, then the attack ceased.

She approached him, smiling. "How does it feel to be powerless?" she quipped. "I know those shackles were made to stop even the most powerful force users from using any powers whatsoever." Brimstone just glared at her in response. "Not so talkative now are you? Have you ever heard the old saying, Master? One day the pupil will become the Master?"

She leaned in close, her face almost touching Brim's. "You subjugated me the moment I set foot on Ziost. You tortured me and twisted my mind. I was in excruciating pain and you just continued." She pulled away and began to pace the room.

"You made yourself my Master. You gave me no choice in the matter and threatened to kill me if I did not accept. I am not giving you a decision in this matter. What happens in this room, stays in this room." she said. Leaning in to her Master's face once more, anger showing in her entire body and face, she spat at him.

"I mean literally will never leave this room. You took me from my own life and made it yours. I intend to leave you here to rot. If you are found, so be it, but if not," and she moved away, "I will not care in the least. I will consider it to be justice for me. You rot, I survive and flourish and gather together what little of my life I have left."

Taking her lightsaber, she thumbed the switch to ignite it and brought it across her Master's chest in a flourish. Brimstone let out a howl of pain as the weapon left a deep gash on his body, leaving him bleeding. She flipped off the lightsaber again and looked around the room. Her eyes came to rest on a tray containing a number of the tooth extractors that she had tried to utilise earlier and she gestured. Two of the implements flew up into the air, and at another wave of her hand, they flew towards Brim. He screamed as they buried themselves, one in each shoulder, pinning him to the wall behind.

She turned to leave and called over her shoulder. "You call yourself my Master. Consider yourself fired!" Gesturing, Brimstone's lightsaber and blasters flew towards her and she deftly caught them. "Goodbye Brimstone, I won't forget you, but I guarantee all the memories will be bad ones."

With that, she gestured and cranked open the turbolift doors with the Force. She stepped in and turned to face her former Master one last time. Brimstone hung in his chains, unable to move and unable to feel anything. He was cut off from the Force entirely and the sense of loss was staggering. He looked a sight hanging there in his pristine officer's uniform, bedraggled and looking completely defeated. As the turbolift doors closed, Taranae gave one last mocking salute and disappeared from sight as the doors whooshed closed and transported her back to Antei's surface.

She knew that no-one would find Brimstone before he bled out. She had just killed her Master for his actions and felt safer in the knowledge that he couldn't harm her or Vanessa ever again. If by any slim chance he was found, it was a situation she would have to face. She knew that he would do his best to kill her, but as she told him before, she was not the same person he had bent to his will on Ziost any more. Now she was Sith, and would do whatever it took to survive, and whatever it took to keep her family safe.

As the former Nabooian headed out towards the turbolift, she swelled within herself pride at the closure of her master. She could hear his screams as she entered within. Just as the doors closed, she could swear her master was maniacally laughing.  "He'll be dead soon enough" she thought to herself, reassuring her beliefs.


Brimstone was laughing. And not because he knew he was a dead man, but that his apprentice had become the Sith he saw her to become. He recognized her flame in the Dark Side and was correct in his assumption she could challenge the likes of Bane, Sidious, and other great Sith.

As soon as he heard the doors close on the turbolift, that's when he made his move. Calling upon all the energy of the Force, he completely stopped all the blood flowing out of his wounds. He then used the clan's power of Conviction to rapidly heat the flesh around each wound, cauterizing them closed.

Brimstone then worked on the shackles. He remembered back to when he was held captive by the Vong and the numerous times he was placed in their contraption they lovingly called the Rack of Pain. Even though back then, he was a meer Dark Knight and how he got out of it caused him excruciating pain, but with the endurance and threshold of pain he built up, along with the enhanced Dark energies here, he could recover.

CRACK!!!

Brimstone telekinetically broke his left hand and after bellowing out, he slid the shackle over his mangled wrist. "That's going to take a while to heal" he thought to himself.

Knowing that the shackles remaining were built to resist any Force powers on them, with his freed hand, he reached within his blood-soaked officer's right sleeve and pulled out his hidden lightsaber. "You forget one thing apprentice" he muttered as he flick the switch on its hilt and sliced through the chain. He then tried to peer down to get at the ones around his ankles, but felt a sharp pain from the surgical instruments that were in his shoulders, same one's trapping him to the wall.

Pulling with all his Force enhanced strength, he jerked out each one, which, in turn, ripped open the cauterized wounds and tore chunks of muscle tissue also.

After he dropped to ground, he sliced the other chains binding him.

Brimstone tried to call upon the Dark Side again to reseal the wounds, but his energy was nearly entirely spent. "Well we all have to die sometime" he grimaced.

The Battlemaster then made his way to the turbolift and entered within.


Taranae was in her room, washing the blood out of her hair when her sister, Vanessa, came in.

"What happened?" she exclaimed.

"Let's just say, my Master will no longer be a burden anymore" the Aedile replied.

After Taranae finished and put on a change of clothing, the two of them them headed towards the mess hall. As they rounded the corner, there stood the bloody Chiss. "Well isn't this a pretty sight?" he stated.

Before either could say anything, Brimstone hurled a Midnight spear out of thin air, another clan ability of Plagueis, straight into Vanessa. The impact knocking her.backwards onto the hallway flooring.

"Vanessa!" cried out Taranae as she watched her sister writhing in unforeseen pain and anguish. She the turned back at her Master and ignited her lightsaber, she leaped for him, while screaming "I'll krifing kill you".

Before Brimstone could react, she impaled him through the chest, while wrapping her arm around the back of his neck, snuggling him towards her. "You will die today" she whispered in his left ear as she buried the crimson blade deep.

"I am not the only one who dies today" he muttered back, as he reached behind her and ignited his own blade of death, burying it in her back and through his chest. She gasped in horror.

Both Master and Apprentice collapsed as blackness enveloped their eyes.


Taranae woke up yelling out her sister's name as she sat up in bed. She clutched her chest to find no wound.

As she turned and placed her feet on the durasteel flooring, she was startled by the sight of Brimstone standing I'm the corner, leaning on the wall.

"Master?" she exclaimed in surprise. "You're alive!"

"It was all a dream that I helped you see while you slept."

"Manipulating me more?"

"No. Just showing you how to dream walk and what the outcome would have been if you had come after me" he stated as he headed towards the door. "Oh, by the way, your mother's shuttle will be arriving soon. I'll let you be with your family. You've earned my trust Aedile." He then walked out.

Taranae sat there in shocked disbelief. She finally realized all his training and secrets was in her best interest. "Glad we're both on the same side" she thought to herself.

"We always have been" replied Brimstone telepathically.

Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia, 19 March, 2015 3:34 AM UTC

You use both Conviction and Midnight Spear in this post. These powers presently do not exist. Neither does "Convection", the power I think you meant.