Councillor Turel Sorenn vs. Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa

Councillor Turel Sorenn

Elder 2, Elder tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Male Human, Jedi, Jedi Operative, Sentinel
vs.

Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa

Equite 3, Equite tier, Clan Taldryan
Male Human, Loyalist, Field Medic
Comment

Reopened by Combat Master "Aequitas" Anderson

Hall Duelist Hall
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Councillor Turel Sorenn, Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa
Winner Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Councillor Turel Sorenn's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Korriban: Valley Of The Dark Lords
Last Post 3 February, 2025 12:38 AM UTC
Judge #1: Rhylance
  Councillor Turel Sorenn Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa
Syntax - 15% 4 5
Story - 40% 4 3
Realism - 30% 5 5
Creativity - 15% 4 3
Total 4.3 3.9
An overall enjoyable fight between two talented writers in our club. The set-up of this maych really jumped right into the action. Sometimes this can hinder the overall story to me, but the way it was handled here worked. My favorite parts of this fight were definitely the more mentally focused bits, thought the action throught was handled well by both parties. For me, the creative and story edge in this fight goes to Turel, and with it, the win. While I greatly enjoyed Narman's combat writing, I felt Turel's ending told a more interesting and engaging. Good job to both of you for a great match that I had fun reading.
Judge #2: Rasilvenaira StormRaven
  Councillor Turel Sorenn Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa
Syntax - 15% 4 4
Story - 40% 4 5
Realism - 30% 4 4
Creativity - 15% 4 5
Total 4.0 4.55
This was a fantastic match to read. Both of you did an excellent job of keeping a central story going between the characters, and that helped the battle flow well. There was no real issue with syntax on either side which made the posts clear and easy to read. I didn't see any issue with the realism either. I do think that Narman's posts had a bit more in the way of creative flair to the story, and because of this he edged up on the scoring. It was truly a close battle though. Both writers are incredibly skilled and I really enjoyed reading through the match. Congratulations on a great battle, you should both be proud of your work here.
Judge #3: Tahiri Thorn Morte Tarentae
  Councillor Turel Sorenn Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa
Syntax - 15% 3 5
Story - 40% 5 5
Realism - 30% 5 5
Creativity - 15% 4 4
Total 4.55 4.85
This was a very interesting and neat battle to read. The begining was fascinating to read as it threw me right into the action. The Story and Creativity you both had with this venue was great to read. The addition of the Tuk’ata, along with keeping up on the Dark Side prescence was nicely done. It kept the story cohesive and a great read. This match really came down to one big score and that was Syntax. I don't know if possibly spell check decieved, or just checked out completely, but Turel mispelled Narman's name wrong in both of his posts. Otherwise I saw no other grammer errors or any other issues for either of you. Congrats to the winner. Great job to the both of you! <3
Totals
Councillor Turel Sorenn 4.28
Lieutenant Colonel Narman Losa 4.43
Posts

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Moraband, known in antiquity as Korriban, is a harsh, desolate planet that is indelibly linked to its history as the ancient homeworld of the Sith. Its barren landscape, which is covered by red sands and a crimson sky, sporting towering rock formations born from the remnants of temples and tombs. The planet itself is saturated with the Dark Side of the Force, the result of nefarious rituals once performed by Sith forefathers.

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One area of particular interest on the planet is the Valley of the Dark Lords, a narrow area between two cliff walls into which ancient tombs have been carved for fallen Sith Lords. The sealed tombs once concealed mysteries and dark powers connected to legends like Exar Kun and Naga Sadow, though decades of scavenging from looters and wannabe acolytes alike have left varying amounts of debris across the sand, leaving it questionable as to what remains.

What is certain is the presence of a dark energy that seeps from these tombs that renders the air around their rocky surroundings still, suffocating, maddening – as if too much humidity somehow exists in the desert environs. The tales of Sith Spirits returning from the dead to prey on the meek and feeble don't seem like an exaggeration in this ancient landscape. One can only hope and pray that these stories aren't based on reality.

“WHOA!”

A blaster bolt shot across the dimly lit temple chamber, leaving a scorch mark on the wall behind Turel. If he hadn’t felt a warning through the force a heartbeat prior, it would have been a headshot.

“Nice to meet you too!” The Odanite shouted into the void from behind the broken Sith Lord statue he had leapt to for cover. “If you stop shooting at me, we can work together and get out of this maze.”

Another blaster bolt whizzed across the chamber, sending dust and small chunks of rock raining on Turel’s hiding place. Exasperation began to grow in the back of the Jedi’s mind. “Rude.” It was hard to concentrate in this place, his veins felt like they had ice water flowing in them, the light side of the Force felt distant and sluggish like the sun obscured by dark storm clouds.

“I’m not falling for your tricks Sith!” a husky voice retorted from the other side of the chamber. Another shot rained debris on Turel’s head.

The Odanite drew his lightsaber and ignited the lavender blade. He stood up, ready to deflect any further blaster bolts. “I’m no Sith friend. See, purple, not red.” He waved the saber side to side for emphasis.

“Liar! You took my team but you wont take me!”

This time Turel caught a glimpse of his opponent, a human male with salt and pepper grey hair, with a military look about him. It was too dark to get a clear look at any unit insignia. The soldier fired off another blaster bolt without hesitation which the Jedi Master deftly deflected. Something was off, the assailant was firing a blaster pistol with one hand while holding a small pyramid shaped object giving off a ruby red glow.

“I need you to put the holocron down,” Turel said as calmly as he could while starting to slowly walk toward the soldier. The chamber was rectangular and had six statues of Sith Lords in two rows facing the center. The blaster-wielding man was in half-cover from a fallen sandstone pillar as he kept his weapon trained on the Jedi.

“Stay where you are!” The soldier gripped the red holocron tighter.

Turel complied and stopped moving forward. He tried to reach through the currents of the Force to touch the stranger’s mind but something was blocking him. The flowing river of the light felt like quicksand in this place. He only felt anger, so much anger. It was like the holocron was shielding its bearer and it very much seemed to have a will of its own.

“I’m not a Sith but whatever is in that thing is. You have to let go of it or it will possess you!”

—---

Narmon Losa had no idea who this supposed Jedi was. All he knew was that he had lost his entire squad to this cursed place. Traps, strange beasts, a floating dark figure above an altar. Good men and women died in his arms, his skill as a healer failing them. Anger burned inside him, far more so than usual. His calm, disciplined demeanor began slipping. He had gone through hell to get this trinket for his clan and he was not going to give it up without a fight.

Narman leaned his back up against the pillar and slid down to the ground. His breathing was heavy and his eyes darted around in the darkness, looking for any signs of a threat. Beads of sweat ran lines through the grime accumulating on his face. He could hear his opponent calling out to him, but the words were muffled and indecipherable. More Sith tricks; the Taldryanite gripped his blaster pistol tighter. His mind was a haze of fear and confusion. How long had he been here, on this cursed planet? What were the names of his fallen team members? He could see them dying in his arms, but when he focused on their faces, they were blurry. He could hear their cries for help, but the voices were unfamiliar.

‘None of this makes sense.’ His mental training was beginning to kick in; the fog in the Lieutenant Colonel’s mind was beginning to clear, albeit slowly. He glanced down at the artifact in his right hand, soft ruby light still emanating from it with a rhythmic pulse. ‘What is this thing?’

Behind him, Turel Sorenn had grown tired of waiting. He extinguished his saber, closed his eyes and extended one of his palms forward toward the pillar. Before him, the image of a purple blade nearly identical to his appeared. He opened his eyes and exhaled calmly, pushing the illusion across the chamber. Then he crouched slightly, channeling the Force into his sinewy form and down to his legs. In a flash he was sprinting around the perimeter of the chamber in the opposite direction.

Narman saw the lavender glow approaching the pillar and scrambled to his feet. Keeping his eyes on the light, he began to back away quietly. Suddenly he hit an unexpected solid object; he turned slowly and was face-to-face with his attacker. The Taldryanite raised his blaster, but Turel deflected his arm away in one swift motion. Using his momentum against him, he spun Narman around and swept at his legs, compromising his balance. As he reached out to the wall to steady himself, the Jedi went for his real target: the holocron. After a very brief exchange of targeted blows, the pyramid shaped artifact flew through the air and clattered onto the ground a few meters away. The glow dimmed, but did not stop entirely.

Narman whipped around to face his opponent and finally saw him, clearly, for the first time. His well groomed appearance was serious with a hint of compassion. He was no Sith, he was a Jedi. With a crack the lavender blade ignited once more, bathing them both in its glow.

“Stand down soldier. You’re beat.” Turel commanded, though he could already tell Narman was coming to his senses. In the illumination from the lightsaber he could see the Taldryan patch on his armor. “Taldryan Republic? You’ve been trying to blow my head off for no reason!” As Narman holstered his blaster pistol he clocked the Odan-Urr Council ring on the Jedi’s finger. A hint of recognition flashed in his mind. He had heard of this particular Jedi before.

“Councillor Sorenn?” Turel nodded in response, once again extinguishing his blade. “I’m sorry. Had I recognized you earlier I would not have attacked.”

“Don’t worry about it. If I wanted to take you down I woulda.” He winked and then motioned towards the artifact on the ground. “Besides, I could sense that holocron was affecting your mind. What’s your mission here?”

The Lieutenant Colonel started to respond, but both men paused as they heard the sound of shifting rubble in the chamber. Without warning, the Councillor pushed Narman to the ground, seconds before a large quadrupedal creature leapt at them; it flew overhead and landed beside the glowing holocron. Its sharp claws dug into the stone floor and a long tail whipped around behind it. As it bared its glistening fangs and let out a deep growl, the ruby glow intensified.

Turel instinctively placed himself between the creature and the Taldryan soldier. He didn’t recognize the species of the creature before him but its aura in the Force reeked of some depraved Sith alchemy. The glow of Turel’s blade revealed the creature to have some distinctly canine features, albeit dark and twisted.

“Who let the dogs out?” The Jedi Master inquired to the otherwise empty room with a smirk as he inched closer toward the creature, lightsaber in full-ready position in front of him.

Narman stood up feeling a bit incredulous at the Jedi’s heroic gesture. He was a soldier of the Taldryan Republic and not some child in need of protection. The Lieutenant Colonel pulled out his pistol and drew careful aim at the creature which had now began to swat and make lunges toward Turel. He focused his dominant eye on his target, held his breath mid-exhale like a master marksman and pulled the trigger. The bolt seemed to be on target but seemingly went right through the jet-black canine.

For a split second Narman was confused before the thought occurred to him that this was another illusion. From where he did not know but it seemed like Turel was completely invested in fighting this phantom beast. Narman was just about to shout that the demonic dog wasn’t real when he heard a voice in the back of his mind and noticed a black-robed figure standing beside him on the edge of his peripheral vision.

“Let the Jedi have his fun,” the voice dripped with a sinister tone. “Aren’t you tired of being pushed around by those like him? Don’t you want the power to garner the respect a soldier of your caliber deserves?”

Time seemed to slow to a crawl for Narman. Turel and the beast continued their struggle in what appeared to be slow motion from the Lieutenant Colonel’s perspective. He turned slightly to see the hooded figure whose face was concealed by a white mask. It was almost like there was nothing but black empty space behind the eye holes.

“Who are you? What are you?” It took every ounce of will to even get those inquiries out.

“It matters not, what matters is the opportunity you have before you,” The hooded figure pointed toward the holocron on the ground across the room. “Look.”

Larman felt compelled to turn back toward the holocron and Turel fighting the phantom dog. The Jedi made wide swings to force the beast back but it was clearly starting to overwhelm his defenses.

“Take the holocron for yourself and gain power beyond your wildest dreams….power to command respect from Jedi and Sith alike.”

For a moment he was tempted, but the moment passed. A fire began to burn inside him, anger at this attempted manipulation. Narmon Losa was no one’s puppet. He shifted his aim from the beast toward the holocron on the ground.

“Wait! NOOOOOO!” The hooded figure cried as Larman pulled the trigger. The holocron burst into a flash of red light, scattering glass and metal all around.

The phantom beast assailing Turel faded away. The Jedi shook his head as if waking from a bad dream. “I’m…not used to being on the other side of those kind of tricks lets just say that. I thought I was dog kibble. Thanks.”

Larman holstered his pistol without outwardly expressing any emotion despite feeling like a drowning man getting his first gasps of air on dry land. “Let’s focus on finding a way out of here.”

The creature's low snarl rumbled through the stones of the chamber and the two men could not only hear it, but feel the vibrations in their feet. The crimson light of the artifact glistened off of its back-spines, reflecting a shifting light along the walls as it lowered its legs into a leaping position.

“Tuk’ata.” The Jedi Councillor said matter-of-factly. “They can be found roaming these tombs. You must have lured it here with your shouting.” Narman began to respond, but Turel quickly pushed him to the side, moments before the Tuk’ata leapt forward. As the two of them separated, the creature sailed right between them and over some rubble. It crashed into the ground and rolled up to the base of a pillar hard, but quickly stood and shook off the impact. The Odanite, switching from defense to attack, curled around to the left to engage the beast right away before it could recover.

Narman pushed himself to his feet and reached to unholster his blaster, but a shifting shape in the ruby light in his periphery made him duck low instintively. A sharp slash raked at his back as another Tuk’ata lunged for him. It landed a few feet away and turned quickly. The Taldryanite’s prompt reaction had avoided a major injury, but he could already feel the warm stream of blood running down his back. Too close for the blaster, he instead went for the amethyst kukri on his belt. The beast growled and leapt again.

Turel closed on his target swiftly, one hand holding the lavender blade high and pointed forward, his free hand outstretched in front. The Tuk’ata snarled and backed away, clearly afraid of the lightsaber, but ran out of room as it backed into the pillar. The Jedi closed his hand into a fist and pulled back, surprising the beast with the Force and pulling its legs out from under it. It slid several feet forward and Turel closed the gap, slashing quickly decisively at its body. Though a formidable creature, the Jedi was able to make short work of it using his lightsaber.

Narman stepped back and gashed at the underbelly of the Tuk’ata as it leapt. His foot caught on a rock and he fell backwards, landing hard on the ground. The beast landed right on top of him, but the outstretched kukri blade penetrated deeply into his upper abdomen. It howled in pain, its mouth inches away from Narman’s, rows of razor sharp fangs dripping with saliva. With it temporarily stunned, he seized his opportunity and pushed with all his strength. The Tuk’ata slid a few feet, enough room for the Lieutenant Colonel to get out from underneath it.

Turel, alerted to the presence of the second attacker by the howl, hurried back over to help. Seeing Narman throw the Tuk’ata back, he focused and channeled the Force into the damaged stone pillar beside them. The stone cracked and shifted slightly before giving way and crashing down on top of the beast with a sickening crunch. A thick cloud of dust washed out around the impact, coating the Taldryanite in a fine coating of powder. He coughed and a small puff escaped his lips. Turel walked over and extended a hand, helping Narman back to his feet.

“For future reference, you can say ‘Duck’ or ‘Move’ instead of pushing me to the ground. But I appreciate the help nonetheless.” The Doctor recommended, brushing the dirt from his armor. The Jedi smirked in response.

“I’ll take that into consideration.” He motioned to the artifact still glowing in the corner. “ They seemed to be drawn to the holocron. Your mission was to retrieve it?” Narman sighed and shook his head.

“My mission doesn’t matter much anymore. I think that artifact is best left lost to time. No good will come from it leaving this place.” The Jedi nodded in agreement, lifting the holocron with the Force and throwing it deeper into the chamber amongst the rubble. “If you don’t mind, though, I think I’ll follow you out. Just in case.”

Turel chuckled and held his lightsaber in front for illumination as the two men began to exit the tomb.