Warrior Azler Wilder vs. High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore

Warrior Azler Wilder, Krath Adherent

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Vizsla
Male Echani, Sith, Marauder, Krath
vs.

High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore, Ad Vizsla

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Vizsla
Male Kiffar, Force Disciple, Librarian, Dark Jedi
Hall Scenario Hall
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warrior Azler Wilder, High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore
Winner High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warrior Azler Wilder's Character Snapshot Snapshot
High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue [Scenario] Maldo Kreis: Trial By Ice Spiders
Last Post 9 February, 2025 4:55 AM UTC
Judge #1: Aphotis
  Warrior Azler Wilder High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore
Syntax - 15% 2 4
Story - 40% 3 5
Realism - 30% 4 3
Creativity - 15% 4 5
Total 3.3 4.25
There's a lot of dialogue and it takes a good bit of time before the action gets going, and a few lulls do present themselves which would be better with the dialogue cut down a fair bit. There's some issues with syntax as well, words in the wrong place or mixing present and past tenses, mainly concerning Azler's writing. Overall this ACC scenario was a great adventure, with a lot of funny moments and lots of spider killing... poor spiders. Props to Hector repurposing his shield generator as a heater and generally keeping a great inventory on all the gadgets and items used. The thing that stood out to me regarding realism was the sheer effectiveness of the ID10 "Special Forces Edition" Seeker Droid using a Sonic Pistol, but it did benefit the story. Great work both of you!
Judge #2: Tahiri Thorn Morte Tarentae
  Warrior Azler Wilder High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore
Syntax - 15% 3 4
Story - 40% 5 5
Realism - 30% 4 4
Creativity - 15% 5 5
Total 4.4 4.55
This was a very well written match. I loved reading the back and forth banter between your two characters. Both the Story and Creativity was on point as you two kept a consistant struggle/fight going, while also throwing in enough small breaks to not make it overwhelming. Awesome balance in both of these departments. There were two factors though that made a difference in the scores for both of you. Those were in the Syntax and Realism departments. Both of you had a few Syntax errors, Azler having a few more grammatical and spelling errors than Hector. Then in the Realism, you both had a slight error in character sheets. For Hector, I see that your droid was the more modified 'ID10 “Special Forces Edition” Seeker Droid', but as far as I could tell it doesn't say whether it still had it shock probe or not, since the modifications said it has a Stim Dispenser and a Gravity Generator instead. If that is a misunderstanding from me, then that's on me. However, I just didn't see it. As for Azler, you mentioned the use of your Shockgloves, and while that was fun to read about how you used them, you unfortunately don't them equipped on your loadout. Again this was a cohesive and well paced match, with plenty of fighting and banter mixed together. Well done and congrats to the winner!
Judge #3: Ruka Tenbriss Ya-ir
  Warrior Azler Wilder High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore
Syntax - 15% 2 4
Story - 40% 4 3
Realism - 30% 3 3
Creativity - 15% 5 5
Total 3.55 3.45
A good battle overall and just made me happy with the teamwork, honestly. I left detailed comments for each post, but as promised, since you both suffered some dialogue punctuation issues, here's a quick review: When punctuating dialogue, the simplest explanation I can give is that you must treat dialogue as either part of the sentence or removable from it. That is, whatever *action* is connected to the dialogue is either standalone, in which case you can use a period inside your quotes and capitalize outside it, or it's connected, and the text would be a fragment if it didn't have the dialogue. I hope that helps some. Let me know if either of you have any questions, and most of all, thank you so much for your time in this ACC match. > *"We take the middle path.” Hector confidently stated.* So it looks like this, if we pretend that he said nothing: "Hector confidently stated." Stated what? We've got a verb, and we've got a subject in "Hector," but we don't have the object. We don't have whatever it is that's been started. We're clueless. The sentence doesn't make sense on its own because it is missing half of it. * "We take the middle path," Hector confidently stated. This would be a complete sentence. > *"...period was me trying to figure out our best course of action.” Responded the..."* Responded what? > *"...good.” States Azler with a sigh, but he gives a nod to the man."* States what? So you see the sentence fragments? We need to complete the sentence. Otherwise, you can also rephrase your sentence after the dialogue while leaving the dialogue closed with a period on its own, such as: * "...good." Azler gave a nod to the man despite his sigh. Some examples of several other ways dialogue can be punctuated correctly, just so you can see the differences: * "They're sound-based hunters," suggested Azler. * "It's a good theory." Hector lit his lightsaber. * "Can this vision of a wave send us somewhere warm," Aleister groaned, "like, soon, please?" * "Not cool, bro!" Atty shouted at the squashing of the spider, which is wild, because she hates spiders. * "Who are you?" The two stared at the woman. "And...do you have a ship out of here?"
Totals
Warrior Azler Wilder 3.75
High Inquisitor Hector Von Ricmore 4.08
Posts

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Located within the Arkanis Sector of the Outer Rim Territories, Maldo Kreis is a frozen wasteland of a planet. The outer areas of the planet are covered in deep sheets of ice with giant cracks that formed canyons. Within these canyons were ice caves formed of jagged frozen rock and sheets of ice.

The caves contained tunnel systems that could be traversed, if careful. Deep inside of these tunnels hot springs could be found, and due to the rigid temperatures, one could hardly be blamed for seeking one out for comfort. Careful though, these hot springs served as breeding ground for knobby white ice spiders.

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These spiders ranged in size from handheld to as large as a starship. They are extremely territorial and fiercely protective of their eggs. These creatures are just as much of a threat as the temperatures within the cave systems, which is a major problem since you have unfortunately crash landed in this isolated, inhospitable landscape. The spiders are alerted to your presence, and they are hungry, the cold surrounding them bitter and unforgiving. Shuffling can be heard among the many caverns, the sound of an impending stampede.

Will you attempt to fix your ship, or seek refuge in one of the hot springs? Will you survive, or succumb to the ravenous arachnid horde?

This was supposed to be a simple job. Head…somewhere, he couldn’t even remember now with the cold, with another Clan member, acting as essentially guards to ensure that a Brotherhood ally who recently received some worrying threats didn’t end up dead, then head back, creds paid, job done. He was even paired up with a higher rank, so while he’d be expected to pull his own weight, there was a good chance that he’d have an easier time in the big picture.

Then there were the warning lights, near blinding in the dimness of the ship. Then the far too loud alarms, to the point that he even deactivated his ear until the blaring sounds were finally turned off once they landed on this freezing rock. Next thing he knows, he’s being told they need to find a cave entrance in the mountain they landed next to, by walking. Through the boot-high snow. And the constant whirling wind.

”Not properly geared for this, no idea where on earth to go, and Mr “Being a mechanic doesn’t mean I’m able to fix whole ships” wants to go for a trip to nowhere after he sat around for half an hour.” Azler mutters under his breath, his hood and cloak pulled tight around him. ”And I’m pretty sure we were already frakking there!”

”That ‘sat around’ period was me trying to figure out our best course of action.” Responded the armored man dryly. ”The Force whispered to me that we must make our way to an underground spring in this mountain as I saw a wave heading towards our ship. I could have investigated more, but the urgency I sensed pushed for sooner than later.”

A light glare is thrown his way for a second, but the man sighs and shakes his head. ”I trust the Force, I trust your sight-gifted vision, I wouldn’t be out here if I didn’t, I just wish I didn’t feel blind. I mean, a wave?” He gestures to the snow surrounding them. ”I don’t think anyone coming here, even willing, is expecting to need a surfboard.”

”I don’t know either, but I wasn’t going to stick around to find out.” Hector admits

The two warriors continued their trek through the snow as the wind whipped around them, the only object visible being the massive dark stone mountain they were moving alongside, the wind and the crunch of snow beneath their feet the only sounds; the cold biting at them slowly growing more aggressive as it spread.

Time with such a consistent void around them was hard to gauge, but somewhere between a few minutes and the whole of eternity, eventually Hector’s arm raised to catch the Krath’s attention.

”Looks to be the cave up ahead. So far, so good.”

”We have very different definitions of good.” States Azler with a sigh, but he gives a nod to the man. ”Well, let’s hope it's not too long of a wait for the rescue signal to get someone’s attention. Did your sight give you any indication of how deep in the cave we need to go for this hot spring?”

A flat look from Hector was enough for the message to be clear even if unspoken.

”Of course not. The Force gives many gifts - clarity seems to rarely be one of them.” Mutters the Sith. ”Alright, let’s get this over wi-”

A loud crunch to their side cuts off the man’s whining, both abruptly turning their heads to look at a massive pile of snow that landed between them and the rocks. Eyes flick upwards, looking along the side of the mountain and spotting white moving along it, heading downwards towards them.

”It seems you have your answer, the wave appears to be an avalanche.” The Librarian says as he begins to take steps towards the entrance. ”We best move out the way before it gains more speed.”

”I unfortunately don’t think so…” Wilder’s tone notably changes with the words, the light tone of his banter gone and replaced with concern as his brow furrows, most of his attention focused on his perception of what was approaching. ”I’m quite in tune with sounds and that… No, snow doesn’t chitter.”

A dire look between the two was the only further exchange before they bolted, both moving with bolstered speed to the opening that called to them.

”Keep going, it was a hot spring I saw, this is definitely not where we should be.” Hector warns as he doesn’t stop, feet darting forward.

”Any idea what they are?”

”We were guided to not be anywhere near them, that’s all I know.”

The cave quickly begins to narrow and soon a path is seen in a break of the wall, the Dark Jedi jutting an arm out in its direction to guide his partner and they both turn into it as a sound begins to emanate from the area behind them, echoing past them, the chittering low, then all consuming soon enough.

”Gods that noise!” Groans the Warrior, raising a hand up to his ears, though after a moment, one leaves his left.

~How skilled are you at silent communication?~ Inquires Hector, his voice echoing within Azler’s head.

A series of hand signs and gestures appears in Hector’s mind - not sent by Wilder, but detected by his attempt at reading his thoughts.

~I have a different method of quiet language unfortunately, but so long as you’re in my head, this’ll work. Besides, trust me, I’m louder than most people, part of a birth defect..”~ Azler thinks to not himself.

Snow flies behind them with each step they take, boots landing on rock occasionally as they bend round another corner, the path feeling far too long and yet not long enough as the constant sound behind them never seemed to diminish. Both wished to turn around and see their determined stalkers, but each felt a warning in their minds, a knowledge that if they slowed down in the slightest, they’d be overwhelmed without proper preparations.

~Look for any sign of a warmth increase - water, dripping ice, slush snow, something to give us an idea of where to head as I don’t think today has shown we’re going to be lucky enough to find the spring through this one path.~ Hector advises.

~A wise call. However, you’re going to hate me, but I doubt we’re going to avoid these things for much longer and we need to know what we’re up against. The next crevice we turn down, ready yourself.~

A transmitted feeling of dread mixed with agreement filled the Sith’s mind was the only answer.

Still, soon enough, the pair noticed a break in the wall of their path. Wilder noticed there was a slight delay in Hector’s movement, the smallest sign of indecision between the two paths, but trust was placed in the Warrior as the higher ranked man turned into the crevice and when Azler followed, he was greeted with a raised blaster aimed towards him and immediately turned around to face the gap, both hands throwing upwards as a corona of translucent silver light surrounded him, just wide enough to plug the majority of the whole.

Within seconds their dedicated followers finally revealed themselves as the sound of something impacting the bubble echoed within their ears, barely noticeable beneath the rest of the noise, but enough to draw their eyes down.to an insectoid, roughly the size of their shoe, six long legs expanding outwards from a bulbous snow-white body.

The thought of ~‘That’s not so bad’~ barely crossed Azler’s mind and into Hector’s before another thump, then another, again, again, again, again as others of similar size began slamming into the sphere, only to get louder as a bigger one, easily double the size, joined the smaller group, and them multiple, louder, slams resounded around them as some began to fling themselves onto the maintained protection until a veritable wall was formed as they climbed over each other, attempting to circumvent the blockade.

”By the Force…” ”Sweet stars…” The two muttered in horrific awe, staring at the numbers before them and knowing it paled in comparison to what was beyond their blocked views.

Until a differently directed sound chimed in the screeching, as Azler’s protection only mostly blocked the crack, and their eyes were immediately drawn up as numerous spiders began to crawl over the Warrior’s defense.

”DUCK!” Yelled out Ricmore, immediately flinging a free hand forward as Wilder dropped down, the barrier giving way as lightning erupted out of the crevice, throwing back more of the creatures than either was willing to stop and count. ”RUN!”

Each turned round towards the path away from the hungry mob and sprinted even harder, pushing their bodies beyond normal limits for a few moments to make up the distance they had lost to investigate, a necessity proven by how quickly the sound filled the space behind them.

Turn after turn, the gift of the Force the only thing preventing them from having placed a foot wrong and tripped on a rock by now with the blind run the two were indulging in, they made their way deeper and deeper into the womb of the earth, the cold and the white giving no sense of safety, the passage’s thin width all that kept them from being overwhelmed, until finally it gave way to a wide open space before them - revealing not only that the chittering coming from behind had prevented them from hearing the chittering of the creatures now all around them, but three new paths to take amidst the rocks.

Reaching for the blaster on his belt and firing with less than precise shots, Azler’s lack of sharpshooting skill was luckily, depending upon one’s view, forgiven as with the sheer mass of creatures piling out from behind them, he was still able to hit a few, even if not the ones he was directly hoping for. Soon enough it was placed back on his belt and his sabers were drawn, the blue and red lights illuminating the snow as he swatted down the most aggressive of the bunch that leapt towards them.

”Alright, which one feels favorable?” Calls out the silver-haired man as he frantically continues to defend their backside, eyes barely glancing towards the Inquisitor, awaiting a decision as many more legs descend from above and around them, entering into view, ready to join the hunt with their hungry brethren.

Master Ruka Tenbriss Ya-ir, 9 February, 2025 8:44 PM UTC

This was quite the beefy opening post, so I'm going to settle in to the details.

You spend a lot of time doing the legwork of setting up their icy adventure here, which is good stuff, but can also start feeling a little long in the tooth once it's been going for awhile. That said, I loved your use of Hector's Aspects and Powers to have them take time to process one of his visions and use it for guidance in the opening. You really made him a key figure, which is great ACC etiquette. And there was a lot packed in here detail-wise, especially about the sounds in particular, with the chittering of the spiders being imagery and plot device both.

You even got a snort out of me at the, "oh that's not so bad..." /Proceeds to be Very Bad

As for what could be improved, the biggest thing is your run on sentences tendency. You make entire paragraphs one sentence, and mentally, that can be exhausting to read. I suggest breaking your sentences up some to prevent that. Here's a couple examples of when you did it and some possible examples that may help:

The cave quickly begins to narrow and soon a path is seen in a break of the wall, the Dark Jedi jutting an arm out in its direction to guide his partner and they both turn into it as a sound begins to emanate from the area behind them, echoing past them, the chittering low, then all consuming soon enough.

You could try instead: The cave quickly begins to narrow and soon a path is seen in a break of the wall. The Dark Jedi jut an arm out in its direction to guide his partner, and they both turn into it as a sound begins to emanate from the area behind them, echoing past them, the low chittering all-consuming soon enough.

The two warriors continued their trek through the snow as the wind whipped around them, the only object visible being the massive dark stone mountain they were moving alongside, the wind and the crunch of snow beneath their feet the only sounds; the cold biting at them slowly growing more aggressive as it spread.

Instead: The two warriors continued their trek through the snow as the wind whipped around them, only the massive dark stone mountain they were moving alongside visible. The wind and the crunch of snow beneath their feet were the only sounds. The cold biting at them, slowly growing more aggressive as it spread, was all they could feel.

The thought of ~‘That’s not so bad’~ barely crossed Azler’s mind and into Hector’s before another thump, then another, again, again, again, again as others of similar size began slamming into the sphere, only to get louder as a bigger one, easily double the size, joined the smaller group, and them multiple, louder, slams resounded around them as some began to fling themselves onto the maintained protection until a veritable wall was formed as they climbed over each other, attempting to circumvent the blockade.

Instead: The thought of, ~‘That’s not so bad,’~ barely crossed Azler’s mind and into Hector’s before another thump, then another, impacted. Then again. And again. And again, again, again as others of similar size began slamming into the sphere, only to get louder as a bigger one, easily double the size, joined the smaller group. Then multiple, louder, slams resounded around them as some began to fling themselves onto the maintained protection, until a veritable wall was formed as they climbed over each other, attempting to circumvent the blockade.

I'll touch more on dialogue tagging in my General Comments for both you and Hector, but that was your major Syntax issue. Now a couple Realism/Story notes.

A small thing, but I was confused by Azler using hand signs in his head, due to not having Sign Language on his sheet (hi! My Erinos characters have this as one of them, Foxen, is mute and chiefly signs, and the family learned for him). It's not a big deal, but if you intend to have Azler know Sign, you might want to add it to his sheet just to be really explicit, even if you describe his birth defect and hearing impairment/cybernetic installation.

On a note for using the characters' sheets is Hector being able to keep up with this entire chase scene. They've been hiking for awhile in the storm, and then running for awhile from an entire spiderlanche too. Now normally I wouldn't think too hard on this, especially since Azler is a track/marathon star with +3 Athletics and +4 Amplification should he need to boost it, buuuuut Hector...is definitely more of a scholar. While he has the Feat to negate some of his armor Encumbrance, his Athletics is a big old +0, meaning he's an average Joe like you and I (okay, at least like me, and I die going up one flight of stairs). His Stamina and Amplification are only +1, so even if he WAS using Amp for this emergency to put on a boost of speed, I do find myself just...squinting a bit...at the ability of Hector to keep up by the end of the post. Not worth a detractor so early on to me, but worth thinking about when planning your long and winding chase scenes.

Finally, a note purely on preference: it is a lot of bold to read when all the dialogue is bolded. If you want to keep doing that, that's your call, but mileage may vary on how friendly to the eye your readers find it. Trust your audience to realize from the punctuation like quotation marks that they're reading dialogue.

A mere moment passed, long enough for the Force to communicate its intention.

“We take the middle path.” Hector confidently stated. “It’s the most narrow, less creatures to follow us.”

The chittering creatures threw themselves at the duo. Beams of blue and red cut through each one that tried, hot plasma rending through flesh.

Azler Wilder danced like a leaf on the wind. Even with the snowy ground his steps were light and careful, deftly moving around the swipes of the arachnid creatures.

Crimson blaster bolts slammed into the eyes, heads, and limbs of the creatures. The Kiffar fired his blaster rifle in bursts, disabling and killing creatures whenever possible.

But the horde continued to spill into the cavern, no matter how many spiders the duo managed to slay.

They had to flee.

Hector let go of his blaster, allowing the sling to hold it against his chest. He closed his eyes and reached out with both arms.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

He could feel the disgusting creatures. So many that he could never hope to count them all. They squirmed and chittered, scraping limbs across the carapace of their fallen as they continued their unending hunt. These creatures did not appear capable of most emotions that a sentient was known for. But he could sense one thing.

HUNGER

A primal need to devour. To feast. To consume.

It was unsettling to say the least.

“JUMP TO ME!” Hector yelled over the screeches of the dying arachnids.

Azler was happy to oblige. With a burst of energy from the Force he nimbly leapt into the air, crossing the entire cavern in a single bound. He landed next to his ally, who was backing away into the path, eyes still closed and hands outstretched.

As the duo moved onto the path the cavern ceiling began to shake and tremble. Massive stalactites of ice were wrenched from the ceiling through the awesome power of the Force. Gravity did the rest of the work, guiding the shards to spear the ravenous creatures surging across the cavern. A particularly large rock landed in front of the duo; sealing the entrance behind them and providing a barrier against the encroaching horde.

“Not bad, but did you have to yell so loud? What happened to the reading my thoughts thing?” Azler asked.

“My apologies. I am unable to both telepathically communicate and bring down the ceiling at the same time. I wanted to make sure you could hear me over the horde.” Hector replied. “Let’s stop here for a moment, I have to take care of some things.”

The Kiffar reached into his bag and withdrew two cases. Opening them revealed a series of vials and injectors.

He grabbed a general anti toxin and removed his right gauntlet; injecting the liquid into his vein. He replaced his armor, then grabbed a second anti toxin and a stamina stim.

“Take one of each of these. General anti toxin if the creatures happen to be venomous. And a stim of my own creation. It’ll help get your energy back and lessen the strain from using the Force so often on your body.” Hector instructed.

While he waited for his ally to do so he pulled the compact shield generator from his back and began to fiddle with the device.

“Real handyman eh? What are you doing now?” Azler inquired.

“Modifying the shield generator. We’ll lose the protection it offers but it will be able to act as a heater and warm us. Given that you aren’t in a vacuumed sealed suit I figure you have to be pretty cold right about now.”

“Now that we aren’t moving, yeah. The cold is insufferable.”

Right as he finished the modification a small beeping noise gained Hector’s attention. His commlink was receiving a message. Activating the device, a series of binary beeps assaulted his ears.

His probe droid had survived the crash and had found them a route to the hot springs.

Hector packed away his medical supplies and climbed back to his feet.

“Things are looking up for us Azler. My droid survived the crash and found us a route to the hot springs. It’s transmitting to your datapad now. And take this, the shield generator will keep the cold away for a time.”

The Kiffar handed over the device. Azler slung it over the back of his cloak, wearing it like a backpack.

“Heh. I feel warmer already. I see why Vizsla keeps you around.”

“That’s one reason for sure. Are you ready to continue forward?”

Master Ruka Tenbriss Ya-ir, 9 February, 2025 8:30 PM UTC

Sensing the ickies' hunger and then pulling the cave down on them to give yourselves a break were good moments, as was allowing the post to open on Azler being a lightsaber savant. Similarly, modifying the heater and giving some flavor text to your stim and antidote kits were neat little features of Hector's Skills, once I triple checked his CS that everything at least made sense, heh. My one compunctions is similar to that in Azler's first post: I don't understand how Hector isn't starting this little tinker session absolutely gasping for breath and needing a break.

Continuity-wise I also found myself a little befuddled as to the plot point of Hector's droid apparently having survived and found them a route, as Azler's post established them being on their crashed ship for at least half an hour and then heading out following Hector's visions. It just feels like he would have already known his droid survived the crash, maybe that he had sent it out, you know? Not worth a detractor, but it pulled me out of the story flow wondering why the clash with the first post.

That said, this post was tight, clean, and packed with demonstrating each character's abilities. I appreciated it a lot.

”Always. Besides, I don’t think any sane man in history has aspired to die to a horde of arachnids.” The Echani muses with a light grin as he deactivated his fraternal twin sabers before stepping down their chosen, and now only, path.

The heat spreading through his body helps invigorate his steps, Azler checking over himself while walking to ensure he didn’t drop anything, then pulls out his datapod.

”Clearly you are a favored child, the other two were dead-ends.” He compliments. ”Judging by this, it looks to be straight for four crosspaths, two rights, straight, a left, right, straight three times, then a right before a final left, all downwards.”

”Best commit that to memory, doubt we’ll be able to double check once these things make their way to us. My droid will be conveying directions to me, but if we’re going too fast, can’t rely on that to be timely.” States Hector,

The tattooed Inquisitor’s words prove true within minutes as the chittering begins to emerge once again, drowning the short-lived echoes of crunch of boots on snow that was their previous silence breaker. WIth barely a look between the two, their recuperation is ended and a sprint is begun.

With the terrain, it's hard for the Echani to be certain how close the enemy is. As they pass their first crosspath and continue straight, he dares to glance to the left they could have gone without aid and sees a swarm a few dozen meters down the narrow corridor. At the second, a single meter at best, and as Hector fires a pair of blasts into the third false path, he knows that they are too close for comfort.

By the time Hector has fired into the fourth and moved past, one of the spiders launches itself towards Azler as he takes his place. Electricity crackled as the man reacted quickly, smashing it with his Shockbox gloved hand and sending it flying back as he continued on.

Up ahead, the swarm begins to spill out ahead of their next split, though their luck has run out as both paths contain foes. With another burst of lightning, smoke fills the area as the sound quiets down momentarily and boots splatter the chitin armored creatures.

Path after path, the two enact different methods of keeping the way clear; Hector swapping to a higher rate of fire on his rifle to clear one route, Wilder drastically increasing his speed to move ahead and blockading a false path as the Kiffar races down the correct one, followed by the man using Telekinesis to grab a nearby rock and hurling it down the path, squashing everything it rolled over.

Again a series of straight paths lays out before them, panting escaping the two as the end, not quite within sight, is at least within their grasp. At least until the ‘pattern’ finally changes, much to their dismay.

As small and medium spiders spill out from only the crevices directly ahead of them, a lou roar rumbles the cave as two larger specimens emerge from further down the hall. Their massive circular mouths turn in the direction of the humanoids, teeth gnashing visibly.

”I’ve got them!” Calls out Azler, kicking off a rock and grabbing his two hilts, activating and throwing them forward, hands out-stretched.

The red and blue blades spin in rotation until they connect with their targets, the red implanting itself into the central body of one, but unfortunately the other, whether reacting faster or due to the Krath’s imperfect use of the ability, only loses a singular leg to the blue attack.

Thankfully, the power of teamwork shines through once more, as Hector splits his focus from blasting the smaller prey just enough to cause the red blade to rip out from its successful kill and claim the second as well.

”Thanks.” States the man as the two run by the fresh corpses, Wilder pulling the blades back to his hands, his voice making clear the disappointment in the attempt.

When another large one appeared after their next turn, Hector’s hand raised in its direction and quickly the monster turned to lunge at the wall beside it, falling for the man’s disorienting trick.

Coming to the last bend, this one luckily only spewing forth the smaller predators, again Hector raised a hand as translucent versions of the pair appeared in the opposite direction and lured them aside. These things were likely spread throughout the entire mountain, why were they reacting so slowly? Azler doubted that they could truly communicate, but surely the chittering that filled the caverns alerted their brethren. Reaching a glove out, he snagged the body of one as a pulse emanated out, stunning the creature as he followed his partner’s lead.

Their goal now within sight, or what could be for a barely illuminated cave, the Inquisitor took out his own blade and raised it to his right, slicing into the rock as he moved.

”Slow them, blockade them.” He calls out.

Wordlessly, and pointlessly, Azler nods before sighing and depositing the unconscious critter into the hood of his cloak, then igniting both of his blades once more he begins slicing at the sides of the cave, even jumping to outcroppings and dropping stalactites up above down.

As Hector breaks into the opening first, he stops a few feet from the entrance. Unfortunately, seeing this, Azler turns right at the precipice and begins slashing to the sides and up above in a blur, cutting through the stone and snow as quickly as he can while the swarm approaches, screeches raising in pitch.

Leaping into the room and turning back, he copies Hector’s trick from earlier and pulls at the earth, caving in the entrance, though unlike the higher ranked individual, it is only thanks to the weakening of the rock by his saber attacks that he pulls it off half as quickly as he does.

Turning around, the confident smile on his face evaporates.

The open space area, like a small hangar, lays before them, a thin but persistent steam rising from the central area and rising to the ceiling a number of meters above. The terrain, much the same as before, is snow and rock, barely even worth acknowledging.

The hundreds of oval-shaped objects standing near perfectly upright filling the almost barren space, however, are.

”Any chance those are a naturally occurring rock formation you’ve heard of?” Asks Azler as he glances upwards, to zero sign of their origin being from above.

”At this point, you think we’d be that lucky?” Sighs Hector, walking towards the spring. His armor was comfortable, but a boost in heat wasn’t a bad thing. ”I have faith that this is still the right place to be, but I most certainly doubt we will be uncontested in our survival.”

Looking around still as he follows the man, Wilder’s eyes turn back to the blocked entrance, though less on the rocks and more as if looking through them as his eyes get lost in thought.

”I’m with you on that, sadly. On the bright side, I have an idea.”

Reaching up with a hand, he pulls the body of the stored critter out from his hood, thankfully still unmoving.

”...No, we’re not keeping them as pets.” States Hector, the dry humor made more apparent with the slightest hint of a smirk.

It does manage to get a chuckle out of his companion nonetheless. ”No, admittedly not so simple. Part of me is hoping, given the absolute lack of signs of literally anything, maybe this planet is up for grabs or something. The Brotherhood does love dangerous planets to hide things in, and these guys would make great natural defenses. I figured I could bring one home to study, but it seems as though the studying will have to be done now.”

The Echani reaches up to his left ear once more and places his fingers upon it, their exact positioning hidden by his ragged silver hair, but when he pulls his hand down, the ear is in his hand.

”Notice only the big ones actually seemed to move ahead of where we were? The small ones only really aimed for where we were or just about to be. On arrival, the Force pressed upon you that something was coming to the ship - not us.”

The half-deaf Warrior raised the stunned spider up and next to his detached ear. Hector watched quietly, relaxing for the few moments he was getting to recharge himself for the battle that was surely coming.

”I think they’re sound based hunters. The adults - gods I hope they’re the adults - are smart enough to head where the sound is going, while the younglings move to where the sound is currently. Normal spiders hunt through vibrations, most famously for on their webs, but considering this cave system and its echoes? This breed may actually feel air vibrations even more so.”

He gently clenched his hand around the detached ear and immediately a high-pitched screech began to sound out, almost similar to the spiders themselves, but continuous and singularly toned like a broken droid. At first, the unconscious critter did nothing, but within moments, it began to react, sluggishly but then rapidly, its legs again waving in the air in a desperate attempt to move - though not in a way to assault, far more evidently in an attempt to escape.

His curiosity sated and suspicion confirmed, at least enough for now, Azler slammed the beast upon the ice next to him, squashing it.

”I doubt those guys are going to leave us alone in these springs for long.” He gestures to the eggs around them. ”Considering all the proverbial do-dads you’ve got, and by all means, you’re free to use anything I’ve got, you may want to see if you can make something to amplify sound or make some kind of ruckus to make these things leave us alone, even if only long enough for said rescue.”

Walking next to the man, Wilder places down his cybernetic ear, which the mechanic would find out quickly operates as an advanced comlink, his wrist comlink, the datapad, his blaster, and his slugthrower.

”I’ve got my sabers, a dagger for emergencies, my fists, and the Force, that’s all I need and I’ll use every last ounce of power I’ve got to make sure we both make it out of here.” States Azler, the conviction clear in his tone. If this place is really going to be where we survive, I suspect the Force has enough faith in you to keep us safe until we get the signal, so I will too.”

Master Ruka Tenbriss Ya-ir, 10 February, 2025 12:11 AM UTC

I won't go into detail again on same Syntax stuff that is here since I covered that in the first post. Instead I'd like to focus on the highlights.

"The Echani muses with a light grin as he deactivated his fraternal twin sabers before stepping down their chosen, and now only, path.

This was a great sentence, I just adored the, "fraternal twin sabers" phrase and would totally steal it, especially given they're red and blue and, presumably, represent a certain Light/Dark dynamic. Hello there, Obi-Wan Anakin you were my brother etc. Also great gravitas on "their only path."

"...and sees a swarm a few dozen meters down the narrow corridor. At the second, a single meter at best, and as Hector fires a pair of blasts into the third false path..."

Again some great building of drama and tension, with the shortening of the distance of the enemies converging on them. I loved the repetition.

While we got to a bit on a montage here in the chase and action, you still did a good job of featuring both characters' equipment, Skills, and Powers. It was nice to see them work together, too, and support each other. Azler being disappointed his big attack only got half the enemies is rather endearing, and then we get him all confident he pulled off pulling the cave down with some lightsaber help only to have his hopes dashed. It really plays in to him being the younger -- well, less experienced in the Force -- of the pair, and learning from Hector as a partner.

Rip little spider experiment, you could have been a bro.

I really like the ending note of him having faith in the Force and Hector. It's nice.

Hector looked over the assorted items in front of him.

“Keep the ear. The last thing we need is for you to not be at your best. I’ll be counting on you to hold the horde at bay while I whip something together.”

The Echani recovered his cybernetic, slotting it back into the side of his head.

“I’ll intercept the horde when they arrive. Just focus on making something to get us out of this mess.” Azler declared.

Hector did not respond, engrossed in figuring out a solution to the problem before him. Constructing a signal device was possible but it was risky. There was an opportunity for the horde to overtake them before help could arrive. No, what the pair needed now was something that could keep the spiders at bay and buy the time needed for a transmission to be received.

In their hour of need, the Force answered. Perhaps Hector’s visions had truly led them to where they needed to be. Or perhaps some of Azler’s luck had rubbed off on Hector. Whichever it may be, help had arrived.

A series of chirps and beeps in binary echoed throughout the cave. Hector’s probe droid had arrived and flew over to its owner.

“Yes, that will work.” Hector muttered to himself. “If I swap your shock prod out for the sonic blaster you can keep the creatures away while I work. And as a droid you will not tire like we will.”

The Kiffar was momentarily distracted by the sound of twin lightsabers igniting. It seemed the horde had found them. He had to work fast.

Crimson and Azure cut through the winter air and spider creatures. Blades moving so fast they blurred; creature after creature fell before the might of the Warrior. But where one spider fell there was a dozen ready to take its place.

The horde was never ending.

Azler twisted around the slashing limb of a creature, severing it and removing the creature's head. He slid underneath a leaping spider and bisected it with both blades. A third creature slammed into the Echani, knocking his sabers from his grip. They tumbled to the icy floor below and deactivated.

The Krath was already moving, the Force keeping him aware of the creatures surrounding him, allowing him to move optimally.

When the creature lunged again he was ready. He parried the leg surging towards him, pushing it into the ground below. His hands nimbly grabbed hold of two of the creature's teeth. With a surge of effort he tore them from the creature and used them as improvised blades, impaling the top of the creature’s head again and again until it ceased to move.

The savage behavior sent a ripple of fear through the gathered creatures. They were barely sentient, little more than hunger. But the brutality made even them pause for a few moments. And then they began to hunt once again.

Hector continued to work on the droid. The shock prod had been replaced with his sonic blaster. And he had finished inputting the updated combat code. But it would take time to upload and for the droid to update its protocols. Time he could use to assist in the defense.

Rising to his feet, the Kiffar pulled his lighter from his smoke case. With the flick of his finger a small flame emerged from the device.

“Burn you freaks.”

Reaching out with the Force, he telekinetically propelled the flames towards the creatures. The improvised flamethrowers ignited the creatures, who began to shriek and thrash from the pain. Those not burning instinctively moved away from the fire, a primal fear of nature’s wrath having taken root within them.

The stream of fire sputtered and then stopped, the fuel from the lighter having been used up in its entirety. But the flames remained on the ground, denying the creature's passage.

Azler took the opportunity to retrieve his lightsabers and make his way back to safety.

“Looks like you were holding out on me.”

“Something like that.”

A ground shaking roar traveled through the air.

The flames parted to reveal a massive spider the size of a starship. It let out an ear piercing wail and began lumbering towards the duo.

Azler took a step forward with lightsabers gripped tight but Hector held out a hand to stop him.

“Let the droid handle it from here.”

A series of affirmations in binary followed his statement. The droid had finished updating. And it was ready to fight.

Flying high into the air, the probe droid began to bombard the spider with blasts of ionized air from the sonic pistol. The weapon was quite inhumane, designed to liquify organs and kill targets through their armor. Against a massive, easy to hit, unarmored spider? They were quite effective.

The creature tried to defend itself, flailing with massive limbs the size of tree branches. But its size worked against it. The spider was far too slow to hit the nimble flying probe droid. And with each ionized blast it became just a bit slower. The earlier roars of aggression became shrieks of pain and fear. And then the creature fell quiet, making no noise except for the collapsing limbs on the ice.

Azler let out a whistle. “That’s quite a droid you got there.”

“Yeah. Empire special forces chose them for a reason. And she hasn’t let me down yet. I trust her to handle things from here, but I could use an extra set of eyes watching my back while I throw together a transmitter.”

Azler looked at the piles of eggs which surrounded them. They remained a threat and could hatch at any moment.

“I’ve got you. Besides, I got a hold of some of those teeth earlier. Not something I want biting into my skin.”

With the immediate danger past, the Kiffar began to work on improvising a transmitter. With any luck, they’d be out of the cave and off to warmer climates before the day was done.

Master Ruka Tenbriss Ya-ir, 10 February, 2025 12:20 AM UTC

I admit, it seemed a bit of a loss to me that the first thing that happened in this post undid the thing Azler set up in his previous post, re: the cybernetic ear sacrifice/clever idea. Nonetheless, we move on with the story, and you write Azler being determined and doing exactly what he'd intended to hold off the horde singlehandedly while Hector works.

"Azler twisted around the slashing limb of a creature, severing it and removing the creature's head. He slid underneath a leaping spider and bisected it with both blades. A third creature slammed into the Echani, knocking his sabers from his grip. They tumbled to the icy floor below and deactivated."

This was a solid, dynamic passage of combat. And I really dig Azler getting savage once he's unarmed.

Realism-wise, I don't really buy a standard lighter being flamethrower worthy with the amount of fluid we're probably talking about if it fits in a cigar case. It's a cool idea with Matter Bender, but it broke things for me. As far as Story, the droid seems to steal the show a bit at the very climax the two have built up to, taking care of the real threat to them, but it's again also incorporating Hector's Skills, so I'm of two minds on it.