The crimson blades locked in a star striking performance of cinders and precise movements. They locked eyes with each other as they both made precise thrusts and short stabs to test the defense line. Galleros was however more elegant and swiftly thrusted his crimson blade further against the weaker stance of Armad. The Zelosian’s feet were dancing around and gaining advantage as the Umbaran kept his elbow tight against his waist and refined his stabs. Armad struggled to keep up with the quick thrusts and advancements, while he smoothly evaded backwards and closer to a ledge above a cantina roof. Armad felt the pressure of the battle consuming him, his breath quickening and becoming pants. The Umbaran turned his gaze for a split second to notice a window sitting next to him, he saw no alternative. Armad stepped forward and stabbed precisely towards Galleros’ face which was swiped away with a fluid movement only to be met by Armad’s open palm fused with blue energy. The bolts of cerulean electricity arced and struck against Galleros’ face which burnt the bark on his cheek and his eye. At the last minute, Galleros intervened by raising his ruby lightsaber. Armad took this opportunity and barrel rolled through the window, smashing the glass and rolling down a set of stairs.
“Do you really think you could run from me? I am the king of escape!” The Quaestor roared.
The Umbaran was not one to follow advice and decided to sprint through the complex regardless. Galleros disappeared out of sight once Armad jumped down the final set of stairs and burst through the automatic door to a single apartment. His momentum charged him forward and directly into a fish tank, smashing it in the process. His breath panted and gasped for air, so Armad took a moment to rest against the broken tank frame. His sight looked down at the fish from the lakes of Naboo, flapping and choking for water through their gills whilst watching the gigantic Umbaran mere inches from crushing them under his boot. The irony gave Armad a chuckle, he filled the nearby sink with cold water and placed the surviving fish inside.
“Oh guys, I know precisely how you feel.”
Armad tapped the sink’s frame and then continued to march towards the rear end of the apartment, where he was greeted by a door leading to a fire exit ladder. The Krath tried his luck at the door button but to no avail, it was protected with a code.
“Finally, something I feel comfortable with.”
The Umbaran smiled and kneeled in front of the control pad, he opened up the casing and worked his fingers through the wires and circuitry. The monitor welded onto the rear end of the casing had a camera link to outside, which Armad found useful once he could integrate it. He switched the power supply from the door lock onto the screen and an automated camera recording of the roof above. The grey-faded footage showed him a swift sprinting man wearing a dress, who jumped from the cantina onto the roof above Armad.
Armad thought nothing more of it and pushed through the unlocked fire exit, he quietly sneaked across the metallic catwalk and carefully ascended the ladder to the roof above. He knew someone was up on the complex, yet finding the person in the vertical city was an impossible task. The Umbaran was coming close to the end of the ladder, his eyes focused on the path below him as he preferred not to be flanked. With the final inches directly above his head, Armad carefully pushed upwards to peer over the lip of the roof, looking for any signs of men in tight dresses. There was no life in this particular roof that Armad could see, so he decided to climb the ladder further. Reaching the final ring the Umbaran felt a disturbance in the near area, he slowly turned to find a shadow drop from a roof above and rolled in front of him. The man faced Armad and revealed himself to be Galleros, smirking in pride. Before the Umbaran could act, Galleros rushed towards him and punched his fist forward. The Zelosian developed a ball of white light from his knuckles that exploded directly in front of Armad, the surprise forced his instincts to jump back from the ladder.
“I told you! You cannot run from me!” Galleros roared out as Armad descended to the cantina glass roof.
His coat rippled through the air as his arms and legs struggled to regain balance, yet the flashing light still pierced his eyesight like direct sun rays. Armad’s body met the glass with blunt force and shattered the entire roof into a rain onto the circular bar and it’s customers below. His body bounced off the cabinet of bottles which toppled and smashed against some scented candles, the explosion burst the immediate area into a venomous fire. The bartenders crisped and melted away from the explosion as the nearby customers ran screaming, with their own hair and clothes set alight. Armad was balanced luckily on top of the cabinet in safety from the consuming blaze, the screams of the environment deafening his pale ears. Weakened by the fall and exhausted from running, Armad struggled to turn his head towards the far side of the cabinet, which was safe from the fire because of it’s dense and wide build. He rolled and shuffled his body towards this space until he finally dropped and fell into the bar, his waist slamming harshly. The Umbaran rolled once more into the bar stools that sat just underneath the lip of the bar which levied him clumsily onto the tiled cantina floor. The rising mist of the alcoholic spirits and wines filled his nostrils and frail eyes, but he could see something was approaching him. Armad rubbed his eyes with his bloody fists and recognised the familiar green face of Galleros, waiting patiently with his lightsaber drawn and ignited.
“The game is never fun when you’re losing, Armad.”
The Zelosian approached the Umbaran with his rose red blade pointed down at his body, the look of disgust sat comfortably on him. As the end seemed near for Armad, the tension of uplifted when Galleros reached to the bar and grabbed a glass bottle and proceeded to offer it to him.
“Rum? It’s an aquired taste.”
Then Galleros proceeded to open the bottle and pour the contents of Armad, the dreaded panic returned.
Your first paragraph has a few superfluous commas and a comma splice in the last sentence. “And hear their boots striking” seems to be missing a word.
The second paragraph has more superfluous commas. Your first sentence is hard for me to parse. The second one has a right/left arm extended...how does that even work? The third is another another comma splice.
I’m...not entirely sure how to parse the third paragraph. So, Armand, grabs the whip, attacks the lanvarok to prevent it from firing, talks, and then Galleros smirks as the last two discs attack Armand? Just how slowly are these things moving? I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t have time to talk if it’d been a well-thrown frisbee, much less a supposed hunting weapon. This paragraph also contains two more comma splices and some verb confusion.
Overall, the post is amusing and energetic but sloppy. There’s a lot of errors in here that a good proofreading would have gotten rid of.