OT Luna Okami vs. GRD Taysar

Obelisk Templar Luna Okami

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Obelisk, Marauder
vs.

Guardian Taysar

Journeyman 2, Journeyman tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Wookiee, Obelisk, Juggernaut
Comment

Clear win for Luna due to crispness of posts and clarity of story. While the NPCs were used appropriately (Wally and I conferred on this), I'd be careful with the addition of outside characters in the future.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants OT Luna Okami, GRD Taysar
Winner OT Luna Okami
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
OT Luna Okami's Character Snapshot Snapshot
GRD Taysar's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Shadow Academy - Hall of Secrets
Last Post 8 June, 2015 6:45 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Champion Rajhin Cindertail Keiji Suoh
Score: 5 Score: 2
Rationale: See comment on first post, but nothing else of note. Rationale: See comments on first post. Same problems in second. You really need to start proofing your work or have someone else do so.
Story - 40%
Champion Rajhin Cindertail Keiji Suoh
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Having Dacien show up at the end was a bit of a story cop-out. Otherwise very interesting. Rationale: So many missed opportunities for more story development. Yes, fighting should be the focus, but to get full marks I need to see more, much more.
Realism - 25%
Champion Rajhin Cindertail Keiji Suoh
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: Nothing of note Rationale: Shattering the crystal here seems a bit of a stretch.
Continuity - 20%
Champion Rajhin Cindertail Keiji Suoh
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Both had some damage carry over issues. Rationale: Both had some damage carry over issues.
Champion Rajhin Cindertail's Score: 4.4 Keiji Suoh's Score: 3.3
Posts

Below the offices and living quarters of the Headmaster and his Praetor lies the Hall of Secrets—a room dedicated to the members of the Dark Council, and practically unknown by the rest of the Brotherhood. The spacious room is highly secured, with a curving stone ceiling and thick, stone walls. Any noise from the rest of the Academy is completely muted, the silence of this place like a tomb. You were summoned here, the note still clenched in your hand, but so far you haven't seen a soul.

There are a nine cubicles—one for each Councilor—made from transparent crystal, which divides the room evenly into sections. Glancing into one, you see that it contains a small console. You walk towards it and tap in a simple command. Immediately the crystal walls grow opaque, obscuring the interior from view and sealing you within. It seems obvious that this is a secure study for the Council, where its members come to access artifacts, holocrons, or other data, without the prying eyes of the Academy watching.

You reverse the command and step back into the Hall. Glancing around, you search for the person who summoned you. Most of the cubicles are currently transparent, but the furthest one is dark—currently in use. You step towards it just as the walls flicker back to transparency revealing a single figure with weapon in hand…

“Are you sure we are in the right place?” Luna inquired as she took in the majesty of the ornately carved stone walls of the chamber. The cavernous room and the cubicles within were clearly designed with privacy in mind.

A Human male wearing the robes of a Shadow Academy Researcher lingered behind the Templar as he closed the doors of the chamber behind them. “Oh I assure you it is ma’am.”

The Mandalorian tensed as she traversed the chamber. “We are not alone.” She pulled her lightsaber from her belt and held it unignited in a ready position. “Whoever you are show yourself!” A Wookie with varying hues of brown fur stepped from behind the last cubicle holding a deactivated riot shield. The Wookie wore only a black belt with a matching black sash across his chest. The sash had a peculiar red symbol on it that Luna did not recognize.

The Templar immediately recognized something wasn’t right about this situation. She had supposedly been summoned down to this chamber by the Headmaster. Summoned by the Human staff member behind her. She stole a glance behind her at the now sealed doors through which she entered the chamber. The supposed staff member had thrown off his Shadow Academy robes to reveal a black tunic with the same red symbol as the Wookie.

“Bow before Taysar the Madclaw!” The Human exclaimed as he noticed Luna glancing his direction. He then fell to his knees and raised both arms toward the ceiling in an almost worshipful gesture.

The Templar turned her attention back to Taysar who hadn’t moved in the past few seconds. “Look, I don’t know what this is about but I’m here on behalf of the Shadow Lady to conduct critical research. I want no part of...whatever it is you and Jacen here have going on.”

The Wookie growled something in Shyriiwook Luna did not understand. Jacen was more than willing to translate. “The great Madclaw challenges you to single combat!”

Luna ignited her saber. “You will live to regret that decision...both of you.” She darted left and charged Taysar’s flank with surprising agility for a woman her age. The Templar knew never to attack a Wookie head on and tried to come at the side opposite his riot shield. Taysar reacted smoothly and deliberately, activating his riot shield and bringing it to bear against Luna’s saber. Her azure saber bounced off the opaque energy field of the shield with a flash and shower of sparks. The Wookie’s apparent lack of visible anger troubled Luna.

As Luna recoiled for a second two-handed strike, Taysar ducked down, lifted the shield upward to catch the saber and slid under the shield to take a swipe with his free claw. Firmly committed to the saber strike, Luna had no time to evade the swipe and took a series of lacerations to her right torso.

The Templar made two bound backwards to create space, Taysar did not follow. Shifting her saber to her left hand she nursed the lacerations to her torso which were not plainly visible under her layers of clothing and armor. She kept her saber pointed at the Wookie with her left hand as she pulled out her right to examine it. Blood dripped from her hand to the stone floor.

“The Madclaw has drawn blood! The sacrifice is accepted!”

Luna did not turn around. “Be silent you sniveling dog, I’ll deal with you later!” She brought her right hand down to her torso again and exhaled deeply as she called on the Force. Within a few moments she removed her right hand and resumed a two-handed grip. She’d have some nasty scars to deal with later, but the bleeding had stopped. This fight wasn’t going to be easy.

Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia, 12 June, 2015 2:57 AM UTC

Incidentally, my research showed that "madclaw" is not actually something that's capitalized generally (see: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Madclaw) . That said, I think , in this case, it's appropriate given the "religion" surrounding Taysar.

Taysar stared at the blood on the floor for a moment. Lord Death was that much closer to getting what he wanted. Taysar drew his lightsaber and ignited it’s crimson blade. He charged in, shield first, and swung his blade. Luna swung her saber in a powerstrike, catching Taysar in a saberlock. Though the wookie was strong, she held her own against her less experienced foe. She shoved him, and the Wookie, not expecting her to be as strong as she was was pushed back slightly. His shield slightly out of the way, and his defense slightly lowered she kicked him in the chest, which knocked him over. She came down hard with a two handed swing. Taysar pulled his shield on him to block the attack. He then pushed her with the shield, which allowed him to get up. Luna, surprisingly, hadn’t moved very far from him.

She looked at his shield. This thing will be a pain later on she thought. She raised her hand and focused on his shield. All of her instincts told her to get rid of it. She called upon the Force, and ripped the Shield from Taysar’s hand. She threw it behind her trying to make as much distance as she could between the Wookie and the shield.

Taysar looked at his follower. Shouting something to him the follower thought on this, and then translated.

“Lord Death has been watching this fight. He has seen you fight well,” the follower called out, “He wishes you a place in his following.” Luna looked at him. Was he serious? First they wanted her dead now they want her to join them?

“That’s your fear talking. You know you can’t win, so you’re trying to buy your way out.” Luna raised her lightsaber. She moved in to attack this time attacking his left side since there wasn’t any shield. Taysar blocked the first few attacks, but quickly started to lose. She caused various cuts across his body and arms. She made him stay on his half, so he couldn’t get to his shield.

Taysar knew he had to get to his shield back. On the next attack, he used Wrruushi to help him. She swung at him again, but this time he caught her wrist, grabbed her shoulder, and flung her into the nearest cubicle. He then ran to the other side and grabbed his shield. Quickly he spun around to face Luna. She shook her head a few times to clear her vision and stood ready to face him. Taysar knew he would have to end this soon or he would die.

Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia, 12 June, 2015 3:00 AM UTC

You're inconsistent with your capitalization of "Wookie" and "shield" in various places in this post. Sentence structure and comma usage also shaky.

The Mandalorian slowly exited the cubicle with her saber held at the ready. The silence of the room was broken only by the heavy breathing of both combatants and the soft hum of their lightsabers. Luna winced slightly as she caught her breath; the rough landing had torn the lacerations on her abdomen open again. She couldn’t spare the concentration right now to address the wound, however. Her mind raced with possible avenues of attack.

Taysar did not remain idle; he charged, seeking to end the fight before his opponent could fully recover. To his surprise, Luna evaded rather than attempting to match his strength head on, parrying blows as she tried to keep the open areas of the room behind her. The Wookie gave a second charge, shield first, with his armory saber trailing behind him in his right hand.

This time, Luna didn’t move. She merely closed her eyes for a moment. Taysar ducked down as he charged forward, preparing to make a left-to-right shield strike with his left hand and follow up with a quick saber strike with his right. Instead, his momentum came to an abrupt halt just in front of Luna as his shield collided with translucent wall of Force energy. The ethereal bulwark rippled and became visible as it dispersed the energy of the shield charge before fading away.

Having suddenly collided with a very solid and very invisible wall, Taysar could not stop himself from bouncing backwards. As he fell in the opposite direction of his charge, the shield and his left arm flailed above his head, exposing his midsection. Luna opened her eyes as the blockade dispersed and dashed forward with all the speed she could muster. The barrier had taken tremendous concentration, so she was unable to call upon the Force to enhance her speed — but she didn’t need it.

Taysar fell flat on his back with his arms outstretched beside him. His shield and saber were still activated, but his brain gave his arms no commands as it struggled to process what had just happened. He blinked in an effort to shake the bright stars from his vision, and. his sight cleared just enough in that split second to see a very angry Mandalorian flying at him with her saber in a two-handed, downward stabbing position. Letting go of his weapons, he quickly rolled to his right side just enough for the piercing strike to miss his torso, though the smell of singed fur indicated the strike was far closer than he’d like.

Luna lifted her saber out from the stone floor and stood up for another attack. “If you so desperately want to serve your Lord Death, I WILL SEND YOU TO HIM!”

As the Templar raised her saber a bolt of purple lightning shot from the entryway, striking her directly in the left gauntlet and knocking the saber out of her hand. The Mandalorian moved to nurse her now smoking hand as she turned to face the newcomer. How and when the mysterious figure entered the room was unclear to the Arconan.

A middle aged man with short brown hair wearing Shadow Academy armor cut in Sith red stood in the entryway with his right hand pointed at the combatants. Luna immediately recognized the man as Headmaster Dacien Victae di Plagia.

“Enough! You will not kill Taysar because he and his accomplice must answer to me first.” It was then Luna noticed Jacen was on his back with the Headmaster’s boot on his chest.

Luna bowed as best she could, not wanting a second helping of lighting. “As you wish, my Lord Headmaster.”

The Elder narrowed his gaze on the Mandalorian as a small contingent of black-robed security forces swooped into the room from behind him. “You will go to my office without delay and wait for me there. I will have some questions for you when I am finished with these two.”

The security officers moved like swift black shadows and before Taysar knew what was happening, he had a shock collar around his neck and chains on his hands. He met the Headmaster’s gaze for a fleeting moment before turning away.

Dacien removed his boot from Jacen’s chest as the security officers shackled and removed the imposter. “Take them below and prep them for interrogation. I want to know exactly how they were able to gain access to this room.”

As Luna left the room she wondered if death would have been preferable to the fate that awaited Taysar in the bowels of the Shadow Academy dungeons.

Luna was caught off guard on that last attack, but that wasn’t going to happen again. She watched as Taysar again charged in, and slid right to avoid the attack. He however was much faster this time and quickly caught her again and smashed her with the shield. A shock ran through her entire body, and the amount of force behind that blow caused her to shatter the cubicle that she was in front of. 

Taysar felt himself start to lose energy. That fit of rage he had done helped him, but only if he could continue the fight. He loomed over her body and came down to smash her with both blade and shield. He was stopped though. She stopped him with a barrier of Force. He went down a second time, and again was stopped. The third time he went to strike her he felt something hit him. Luna smiled. She had hit him with one of the darts in her wrist launcher. Quickly she reloaded again and fired another. This one lodged in the wookies throat. The wookie stumbled back slightly, shook it’s head a few times and fell over backwards. Luna slowly stood up. The hit had really slowed her down. She hobbled over to the sleeping wookie and held her saber above him. She struck him in the heart, and sat there for a few moments. She quickly healed her wounds so it would be easier to move, and stood up.

“Now,” She said with a smile and looking at the follower of the former wookie, “Time to deal with you…”