CCL Liam Torun-Urr vs. OT Rrogon Skar

Consular Cleric Liam Torun

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Male Human, Consular, Juggernaut
vs.

Obelisk Templar Rrogon Skar

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Kaleesh, Obelisk, Juggernaut
Comment

As the scores imply, this match was close. Really close. When the difference between the two combatants' performances is this small, I try to get a second opinion to make sure I didn't miss anything major and to get a possibly different perspective.

You both generally write well, and there were no realism or continuity errors. In the end, it came down to the Story metric, and by the smallest margin; (I didn't feel as though it was fair to give Liam a 4 and Skar a 3 here given the magnitude of the difference). The story that you both wrote was just ok. Nothing stood out as bad, but nothing stood out as incredible either. The dialogue felt a little forced on both sides (Between the both of you, Liam is written saying "So be it." 3 times in the match.) The general idea: light vs dark, good vs evil, it's a classic story, but neither of you really added much to the archetype. If I were to ask 10 people how a fight between a Jedi and a Sith (ok, Obelisk) would probably go, I'd bet that 9 of them would come up with something very close to this battle.

In Skar's first post, we get a bit of a glimpse about why the character is the way he is now. It was a cool start, but both of you just sort of left that hanging. The information didn't affect the battle in any way after that. Liam literally handwaved it away ("Why are you so angry?"), and Skar seemed to forget about it in his second post.

If it seems like I'm nitpicking, it's because the two of you are both good writers and it's the details like this that you have to consider to get to that next level. In the end, I felt that Liam's conclusion was slightly more satisfying. He left open the possibility of redemption for a character that's been through so much tragedy, whereas Skar's ending was just the status quo minus 1 living Jedi.

I look forward to reading more from the two of you both.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants CCL Liam Torun-Urr, OT Rrogon Skar
Winner CCL Liam Torun-Urr
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Lightsabers Only
CCL Liam Torun-Urr's Character Snapshot Snapshot
OT Rrogon Skar's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Begeren: Ancient Quarry
Last Post 29 June, 2015 7:12 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Liam Torun-Urr Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Rationale:
Story - 40%
Liam Torun-Urr Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 3 Score: 3
Rationale: Rationale:
Realism - 25%
Liam Torun-Urr Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Rationale:
Continuity - 20%
Liam Torun-Urr Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: Rationale:
Liam Torun-Urr's Score: 4.2 Obelisk Adherent Rrogon Skar Agrona's Score: 4.2
Posts

Begeren. Once a prosperous Sith world, it has been the site of numerous battles throughout the millennia. Grand halls and monuments were torn down and re-purposed by looting Republic forces thousands of years ago, before they were driven from the planet. Isolated settlements still dot the planet's surface, but the inhospitable, craggy, and desert-like terrain, along with the beasts common to many desert and Sith worlds, have kept most humanoids from colonizing. Occasional skirmishes have left debris scattered throughout the desert, and battles were fought here as recently as the Galactic Civil War. The planet is now under the control of the One Sith and is rumored to be full of all manner of priceless, ancient Sith artifacts.

The Dark Council has pushed forth to Begeren and the Grand Master, on his quest for ever more powerful items, has decreed the Clans and Houses seize anything of value. The unity shown by the Brotherhood during the beginning of this Crusade is fracturing, with the Clans and Houses growing tired and frustrated with the seemingly endless succession of battles. Tempers are flaring between former allies, with outright aggression no longer uncommon. Despite this, you have responded to the Grand Master's call—though whether it's to actually seize the items for the Brotherhood, destroy them, or use them for your own purposes, only you know. One such item, a Sith talisman, said to be inlaid with a dark side-infused gemstone, was lost in the quarries of Begeren during the liberation of the planet from Old Republic looters thousands of years ago.

The Force has drawn you here, to an abandoned quarry, in a mountainous region west of an expansive desert. Any mining equipment once used here is long gone, but the landscape itself remains surprisingly preserved from the days of the Old Republic's strip mining. Scrub brush, the only foliage present on this part of the planet, has taken root all along the sides of the quarry. The ledge overlooks a one-hundred meter drop into a crystal-clear basin of water; opposite the ledge is a more gradual, step-wise decline. The basin itself is peculiar, as no plants are growing in or around it, despite being one of the few bodies of liquid you have seen in the nearby area. A long, snaking ramp meanders down through the steps of the quarry towards the water below, beginning at the northward edge of the cliff you now find yourself on. You notice shards of gemstones crunch underfoot as you move, a hint as to the use of this quarry in ages past.

The last rays of Begeren's sun swept across the quarry's edges as the Kaleesh approached, the soles of his leather boots pressing into sand and stone with clear purpose. The vista before him expanded widely to reveal an ancient quarry, his footsteps bringing him to the edge of a vast cliff. Massive, stepped excavations made up the opposite wall, leading down into a massive pool of water below; a lake, made by the Republic's leavings so long ago. Dry scrub crunched beneath his heels as he strode on, the dusty wind sweeping across the contours of his bony mask. He cared little for stealth in this hour, for he knew he didn't need it.

His target, kneeling before him at the edge of the cliff, took a deep breath as he approached. Beneath thick, snowy brows, eyes colored like chocolate slowly opened. "Such a beautiful sunset," Liam said, a smile creasing the worn edges of his mouth beneath the thick beard he wore. "It would be a shame to mar it with violence."

"You," Rrogon said, his Kaleeshi accent thick as he spoke. "I saw you, on the battlefields of Korriban. On the side of Cotelin." He growled as he spoke, his clawed hand wrapping around the hilt of his blade. "You killed Arconans."

Liam stood, slowly, turning to face the reptilian before him. His ancient face held a gravity, a depth that spoke to years of war and hardship. "Indeed I did," He replied. Across his back, held on a leather strap, his saberstaff's hilt glinted in the fading light. "What brings you to this place, Arconan? What makes you care again about Begeren's surface?"

"Tonight?" The Obelisk snarled. "The only thing I care about is your death."

Rrogon's blade shrieked to emerald life as he lunged forward, a vicious cross-slash aimed at bisecting his foe; as he sprang into action, so too did Liam, leaping up into the air and over the strike. As he went, he twisted, his hands taking up his saberstaff's hilt and igniting its leftmost emitter. He took a defensive posture, his feet shifting wide as he stared down his foe, his blade held at an angle before him.

"So be it," The aging Consular said, his voice faintly hoarse. "Come at me, Dark one."

Skar needed no permission, rushing forward with a punishing series of vicious strikes. As his blade came down, it was swept aside; as it stabbed, it was knocked back. A deadly dance they wove, the elderly Jedi spinning and ducking, his blade flashing and thrumming as it seemed to flow through the air. Its verdant length crackled against that of his foe as the Kaleesh came forward, his blade moving flawlessly for strikes at the neck, head, and shoulder. Rrogon stabbed for the Jedi's midsection, forcing him back before spinning into a furious shoulder strike. Pressing his forward momentum, he knocked the Jedi back with a vicious shoulder strike, spinning again to bring down a thunderous overhead strike. Liam dodged aside, his blade pinning Rrogon's down in a lock, the green blades sparking as their magnetic fields interlocked.

"What, no words of wisdom?" The Kaleesh snapped, his fanged mouth smiling beneath the mask he wore. "Aren't you going to convert me, Jedi?"

"In a word? No." Liam replied. His foe's smile vanished as his weapon's second blade took life, the Jedi spinning into a violent attack.

Rrogon dodged left and right under the continual onslaught of saber strikes that the old Human brought down upon him. The young Kaleesh could only turn away so many of the emerald sabers before his defense began to break under the Consular’s onslaught. A growl of anger escaped the Obelisk’s lips as he ducked under a green saber that went for a decapitating strike. Skar felt the Force answer his call, his leg shooting out in a blur of movement to strike the Jedi square in the stomach.

The older man staggered back with a grunt of surprise. He spun his saberstaff into a defensive posture to block the incoming attack, but it never came. The Jedi looked at the Kaleesh in confusion as Skar stood there gazing at his enemy. Behind his mask, hate burned brightly in his eyes.

“Who are you to judge me Jedi?” Rrogon screamed, the hate and rage dripping from his words. “You know NOTHING about me or what I’ve had to do to survive!”

“It doesn't matter what you did. It doesn’t matter who you are. The only thing that matters is the choice you made when you joined the Dark side.” Liam replied in a calm and even voice.

Rrogon eyes flashed red with rage as his hatred exploded.

“Stand in a mass grave of your family and friends, listen to their dying screams and whimpers, force yourself to bury them so that the birds and scavengers don't tear at their corpses. Then tell me you would have not made the same choice, Jedi!”

The former leader of Shadow Gate spat the words like weapons at the Human. The Jedi did not even flinch or blink. His stance and demeanor remained the same as if he had heard this retort many times before, sad eyes looked at the Obelisk as though he were a lost child fumbling in darkness. This angered Rrogon to no end.

With a howl of rage the young gladiator charged at the the older Equite. Skar’s saber slammed into the blade at the bottom of the Humans saberstaff, forcing the Jedi back a few steps and into a different stance. The defensive position helped the Jedi hold his ground against the appalling strength of his younger opponent.

Skar’s attacks came fast and hard as he capitalized on the older man's lack of strength, their blades clashed over and over as the Consular blocked each strike with expert ease. The Jedi turned the Kaleesh’s emerald blade away like water on stone, but even the strongest stones break against a raging river.

Skar pushed the Human back to the edge of the cliff and with a vicious lunge he caused to Jedi to stumble back . Liam had to recover before he fell off and seizing the opportunity, Skar spun around and struck the center of the saberstaffs hilt with his heel, sending his opponent's weapon tumbling over the cliff and down into the cold water below.

Liam readied himself for the killing blow, but when he opened his eyes he saw the Kaleesh backing off slightly. Skar looked down at his lightsaber, shook his head, then tossed his weapon away from him. He crouched into his personalized Broken Gate fighting stance before he spoke.

“Come at me Jedi. Prove that my way is wrong.”

Liam's lip quirked into a small smile. "So be it."

Dropping into a Broken Gate stance of his own, the elderly Jedi slowly began to circle his foe, his eyes locked with the reptilian orbs of his Kaleesh foe. For a moment, he simply stared the enemy down; then, with a quick motion of his hand, he waved his enemy forward. Rrogon took the opportunity, sprinting across the distance between them and aiming a sharp heel kick toward his opponent's shoulder.

Liam didn't block; instead, he rolled aside, his hands snapping up to release a blast of Force energy into his foe.

Off-balance and in mid-strike, the Kaleesh didn't have a chance at diverting the assault. The momentum of the attack sent him sprawling, his gladiator's instincts kicking in as he hit the ground and rolled, coming up in an offensive crouch before sprinting at his foe again. With a roar, he shifted stances, delivering a flurry of blows at the Consular's half-crouched frame; with deft blocks and parries, the old man deflected each, moving around and around in a semicircle as he did to aid in the diversion of each blow.

"Stand and fight!" The Kaleesh bellowed.

"One question," The Jedi asked. The Light Side swelled within him, as his fingers wove through the air before Skar. "Why are you so angry?"

The reptile's eyes blinked at that, as tendrils of doubt seemed to creep into his face and his mind. As if whispers of a fog had reached his mind, he found himself asking the question, truly pondering the depths of his past. "I..." He blinked sharply, shaking his head. Images of his past confronted him, choices he'd made, hidden guilt and regret that he had never realized existed within him. He growled, shaking off the persuasion more fiercely. "Get out of my head, Jedi."

Rushing forward, he aimed to tackle the Cleric before him, seeking to close him into a grappling position; as he did, Liam sprang backward, rolling across the ground to avoid the worst of the dodge before throwing a knee up toward his enemy's face. Rrogon deftly blocked the attack, as he pushed through his sudden lack of balance to regain his strong footing, aiming a fearsome strike at the Jedi's solar plexus. The assault landed with a loud crack of fracturing bone, and yet the Jedi seemed to absorb it, as if the Force itself had turned his flesh into iron. Siezing the moment, the Jedi took a firm hold of both of the Kaleesh's ears, dragging his head downward and slamming a hard knee up into his jaw.

The attack made the Obelisk stumble, his vision suddenly bleary as his enemy danced backward. He shook off the confusion quickly, even as Liam's boot flicked an object up into his open palm. "Is that all you've-..." His words were cut off by the snap-hiss of his own lightsaber, and a violent crackle as it tore through the Kaleesh's side.

His insides suddenly on fire, Rrogon fell backward in a howl of pain, struggling to stand and mount an attack. He lunged at his enemy, rage filling his blood; and yet, off-balance and wounded, the palm strike he aimed for the Jedi missed him completely. Torun made no move to counter; instead, he sidestepped the strike, before bringing Rrogon's lightsaber down upon the back of the Dark Sider's thigh. The weapon made a sound like shearing metal as it carved its way through his leg, leaving a blackened stump just above where the reptilian's knee had been.

Falling to the ground, Skar crawled backward in pain, coughing and groaning as the pain threatened to consume his consciousness. He was met with Liam's boot firmly upon his chest, as the tip of his own lightsaber came to rest inches from his throat. "Well?" The Kaleesh spat after regaining his breath. "Finish me!"

"Your way is wrong," Liam said to the fallen Arconan, his gaze stern and hard as he looked upon his enemy's bone mask, "Because you place strength of arms over strength of conviction." The saber in his hand deactivated, before the Jedi turned, throwing it with all of his might into the lake below. With that, he strode away, leaving his foe in the dust.

"You'd leave me to fate?" The Kaleesh bellowed after him. "I thought the Jedi had honor!"

The old man's eyes flashed beneath bushy brows, as he looked back toward his fallen foe. "Survive, and seek me out." He replied. "I will teach you what true honor is."

Speechless silence accompanied him toward the sunset, as he slowly disappeared into the wastes beyond.

Liam took several hesitant but quick steps forward as he closed the distance between him and the Kaleesh. Once in reach, the Counselor aimed a swift kick at the Kaleesh’s head to force him back, but Rrogon had spent years in the Nar Shaddaa arena. This type of combat had been drilled into his brain from his earliest memories.

Reacting on pure instinct. Skar spun into the kick, rolling along the leg until he was right up in the Human’s face. The Kaleesh brought his curled fist into Liam’s upper jaw with all his might. There was a satisfying crack as Rrogon’s fist connected, the old Jedi was sent sprawling down into the dirt near his feat.

Struggling to get to his feet, Liam settled for a kneeling position as he rubbed his jaw. A grim calm washed over his face as he moved his mouth slightly and spat out a blood covered tooth onto the desert sand.

“Thats one, Jedi. I wonder how many more I can knock out before your jaw breaks like a twig,” Rrogon snarled down at the old man

“You grow ever more arrogant, dark one. Just because I lost a tooth does not mean I lost the fight.”

Anger flared within the crimson eyes of the Templar as Rrogon seized a generous amount of the Jedi’s white hair, yanked his head back and straight into his knee. The Human let out a grunt of pain as blood spurted freely from his nose.

“I’m going to break you in a thousand different ways, Human. Then we will see if I let you live after that,” the Kaleesh chuckled in a sinister manner.

The Templar from side to side as he called on the Force, reveling in the feeling of it rolling over his skin like a set of armor. Just in time, as the Jedi had extended his hand and exerted at telekinetic strike right into the Kaleesh’s chest. Skar reeled back a few steps but was otherwise unharmed.

A guttural laugh rolled forth from behind the Arconan’s mask as he stared down at the Jedi. “Nice try old man.. but it's not going to be enough to knock me down!”

Liam charged, moving swiftly and delivered a flurry of punches and kicks. Rrogon countered and returned his own strikes with greater success. As the two warriors exchanged bouts back and forth, Liam was steadily losing ground.

The glee in Rrogon’s movement betrayed his excitement as the death of the old man was growing near. Moving his head away from a well timed punch, Skar seized the Consular’s arm and drew him close, slamming his bone mask the older man's forehead. The Templar released the Human, which allowed him to crumble to the ground.

Reaching down, the Kaleesh grabbed the Jedi by the throat and drug him over to the cliff. Lifting the man beyond the edge the cliff, Rrogon’s claws drew blood as they began to dig deep into Liam’s flesh.

“Make peace with your Gods, Human,” Rrogon said, his voice now hollow and emotionless.

A brief smile crossed the old man’s lips before he croaked out four words before his throat was ripped clean from his neck by the Kaleesh’s claws

“So be it, Kaleesh.”

Blood sprayed from the man's ruined throat as he fell into the liquid abyss that would be his tomb. Rrogon’s eyes tracked the path of the corpse falling before he spun on his heel and started the long march back to his ship.