He has no idea what he just did. Bentre glared down at the broken remains of his blaster as he stumbled to stand on shaky legs. He raised his head defiantly as an audible growl rose in his throat. Even as the Wookie towered over him, the Obelisk glared up into the coppery eyes of his Quaestor. The fear he had felt was replaced by a blinding rage.
Just kill the flea-bitten little beast. The rasping voice growled in his ear. For once, Stahoes found himself in happy agreement with the demented presence. He destroyed your long-prized blaster like it was nothing! Strike him down!
The Assassin drew a shuddering breath which bordered on an angry sob. His hand dropped to his lightsaber and he stepped back uneasily. His legs didn’t seem to want to work properly. I have no choice but to press the fight then. As the lightsaber was activated, the blue light cast an icy glow on his face and glinted off some the glasses on the table. Throwing caution to the wind, the Human charged his opponent.
Wrooshuu did not both to move to block the blow with his weapon as the Assassin expected. Instead, the Wookie side-stepped, grabbing the Human’s arm as the wild strike missed him. Using the Journeyman’s momentum, the Krath swung the Obelisk into a throw. Bentre found his feet leaving the ground. He had little time to think before he fell upon onto a table still holding drinks with a crash. The table buckled beneath him, and he felt splinters of glass piercing into his shoulders and back.
This is going to make this fight a lot harder, he growled to himself. *I will have to try and make this quick.
Make sure he suffers.
Rolling to his feet, Stahoes heard glass shards crackling beneath him. Thankfully, his jacket was thick enough to keep all of them to puncturing his flesh, but a few had managed to make it through. It was going to make this fight harder.
Oh what now, are you about to let a Krath show you up in front of all these people?
Wrooshuu made a motion to his Black Guard again with a growl, bidding the Human to relent. The Obelisk gave a smirk, walking a few feet from where he landed. He swiped up a glass and smiled at his Quaestor in mock sweetness. With a heave, he pitched the glass at his opponent. With a roar, the Krath bound forward, allowing the makeshift projectile to fly over his shoulder.
“I am not going to make it that easy on you,” Bentre yelled, drawing one foot back to line his feet. He shifted his hands on his weapon as he squared his shoulders. “I am an Obelisk, and warfare is my bread and butter.” He struck out with his blue blade, determined to cleave the Wookie in half.
The scarlet beam whipped around as Wrooshuu closed the gap between them and turned the weapon to intersect with Bentre’s own. Sparks flew between them, causing his copper eyes to flashed. With a yell, Bentre thrust out a hand and the Quaestor felt the pressure of the Force-driven impact strike with surprise.
The Wookie let out a roar and struck at Stahoes’s right hand. The pain caused a sharp grunt to escape the Journeyman’s throat and tears to form in the corners of his eyes. He barely managed to keep ahold of his lightsaber as he backpedalled from the immediate reach of the Equite. Despite his discomfort the Obelisk twirled his blade in an obvious challenge. “Come on already,” he smirked. “Is that all you have, or have all your years of slumming about in libraries made you soft?”
The wording here: "witnessed a sheer panic and jigs", doesn't fit grammatically. "witnessed the sheer panic" is how this should be worded, and "panic" isn't a word typically associated with dancing, as "jigs" is.
Why is the crowd hallucinating? I presume you are making a reference to drug use but that hasn't been established in your story, which leaves this confusing to the reader.
It's good to elaborate on actions by comparing them to something 'known', but this phrasing feels misplaced. A 'beckoning motion' would have been enough to represent what you were looking to convey here, while this is out of place with the writing.
Bentre is "Proficient" with his blaster, so I would have liked to see more about how these "more shots" were dealt with, considering they would be lethally accurate.
Continuity mis-step here. As far as your story is concerned thus far, Bentre is still sitting in his booth. When did he stand up and gain the room needed to side step and hop?
Keep in mind Bentre's "Resolve" here, with +2 he isn't going to be succumbing to significant fear just because a saber diced his blaster.
What is going on here? What dominance over his mind? You haven't applied any mental based Force Powers in your writing, and you seem to be trying to imply physical/status based dominance. Either way, this is poorly executed.
"forced a surrender" implies complete success here, which you follow up as unsuccessful with Bentre's follow up dialogue.