Augur Solari-Urr vs. Knight Dracaryis

Consular Cleric Solari-Urr

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Odan-Urr
Male Shard, Consular, Techweaver
vs.

Knight Dracaryis

Journeyman 4, Journeyman tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Human, Sith, Marauder
Comment

Solari here had the much more compelling story and descriptive story-telling. That combined with Dracaryis's formatting and punctuation errors gives Solari the win.

Congratulations, Solari!

Hall Rivalries
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Competition [ACC] Rivalries
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Augur Solari-Urr, Knight Dracaryis
Winner Augur Solari-Urr
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Augur Solari-Urr's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Knight Dracaryis's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Hoth: Ice Cave
Last Post 3 September, 2015 11:42 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Master Windos Master Dracaryis
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: You had a few punctuation errors a few formatting errors, but nothing that really brought me out of the match. Rationale: Capitalizing the first line of your second post took me off guard at first, but you immediately indicated what it meant. Well done, there. You had a few punctuation errors, and had ellipses, strewn throughout your posts inaccurately. Your formatting had issues, and I had to re-read a few times; especially when you were writing thoughts. You should italicize thoughts to make them distinct from the narration.
Story - 40%
Master Windos Master Dracaryis
Score: 5 Score: 3
Rationale: Your final post solidified this for me. It was unexpected and well described. The "almost visual" oxygen was one of the most interesting descriptions of Telekinetic Strike I've ever read, if not the most. It's a perfect example of "show, don't tell." Rationale: Your set up seemed rather cliche. It was well described and well thought out, but I didn't get really invested in the match until Solari's post.
Realism - 25%
Master Windos Master Dracaryis
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues. Rationale: No issues.
Continuity - 20%
Master Windos Master Dracaryis
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues. Rationale: No issues.
Master Windos's Score: 4.85 Master Dracaryis's Score: 3.9
Posts

Hoth Ice Cave

On the fringes of the Outer Rim territories and famous as the one-time location of the Rebel Alliance, Hoth is a frigid world marred with fissures created from the tidal pull of Hoth’s three moons. Blanketed in a frozen ocean, massive oceanic currents beneath the southern hemisphere are the cause of constant seismic activities that result in a constantly shifting landscape of tunnels and caves.

Buried into the side of a fissure reaching hundreds of meters into the core of the planet is a network of tunnels leading into a cave. Its sole entrance is suspended within the wall of the fissure, requiring one to rappel down the dangerous crevasse and into the tunnels; one small miscalculation could send explorers descending the rest of the unmeasured height deep within the planet’s core.

Insulated under several hundred meters of ice in all directions, the cave is protected against the gale force winds and the intense snowstorms that sweep along the planet’s surface. As a result, the cave is warmer than most of Hoth’s unforgiving cold with melting icicles dangling precariously overhead. In turn, this allows for more life to grow in addition to being a promising habitat for the hulking Wampas that have been trapped this far below the surface. Beginning to thaw, it is obvious that this cave will eventually fall victim to seismic activity to disappear into the sheets of ice that surround it. Illuminating the cave’s interior with a dull blue glow, a luminous form of lichen has taken up residence among the bones of the creatures unfortunate enough to be trapped here.

Caution must be exercised if one is to navigate the slippery slopes of the cave as melted icicles drip onto the cavern’s floor surface. In one corner of the cave, the ocean water has accumulated to form a large pool, providing sustenance to the rare lumni-spice growing within the crystalline complex, never to see the blue-white sun.

Hoth Ice Cave

I HATE THE COLD…

Dracaryis pulled back the hood of his thick jacket and scanned the interior of the cave. For weeks, he had tracked Solari-Urr across the galaxy…from the Odan-Urr home world of New Tython to Coruscant and finally to this frozen chunk of hell. This shouldn’t have been a difficult task: Find the droid, remove the green crystalline entity that was Solari-Urr from its frame, and return to the Anchorage. Why the Consul wanted a living green rock confused the Knight, but it mattered little. He had orders, and he would follow them to the letter…or die in the process.

Dracaryis surveyed his surroundings. Hundreds of jagged ice stalactites hung overhead like the teeth of some ancient ice monster. He took note of the large pool of ocean water towards the rear of the cave. Droids don’t like water. Dracaryis grinned. A metal frame fighting on ice and near a body of salt water…the Plagueian held a distinct tactical advantage over the Shard. Unfortunately, and Dracaryis was well aware of this, that was the only advantage the young Knight possessed. Solari-Urr was a Consular-Cleric, and an incredibly strong one at that. Dracaryis knew he would have to exercise caution once he confronted his prey.

“You have followed me long enough, Sith.” Dracaryis turned with a start. Solari-Urr had entered the cave undetected and now stood a few meters away.

“Yes, I quite agree.” Dracaryis stood and ignited his saber, the red blade mixed with the blue of the lichen casting a malevolent purplish glow throughout the room. “I offer you one chance. Lay down your weapons, and come quietly. The Dread Lord of Plagueis wants you captured, not killed.”

Solari’s droid frame appeared to survey Dracaryis tentatively. “What does the Consul of Clan Plagueis want with me?”

“I don’t know. But I have been told to collect you, and so I shall. Or I will die in the process.”

“Nobody has to die here today, Sith. But make no mistake…you will pay dearly should you attack me.”

Dracaryis laughed. “You underestimate me, Jedi.” And without warning, he unleashed a blast of electricity across the four-meter gap between them. Solari’s metal frame twitched and sparked, but the attack merely stunned him. The Grey Jedi ignited his blade and gripped the WESTAR-35 attached at his hip. Dracaryis barely had a chance to move out of the way as the Shard opened fire on his position, blasting holes in the ice floor and causing steam to begin to fill the space between the two combatants.

Through the steam, Dracaryis eyed his prey. He was sure the lightning would have short-circuited Solari’s droid. That body was the key to defeating the Jedi. Without it, Solari was just a glowing piece of rock.

It is now or never, Drac. You’ll find a way…

Dracaryis stood, and charged through the steam.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 4 September, 2015 3:35 AM UTC

Don't use ellipses for dramatic effect, only for intentional omission.

Solari fumbled with his lightsaber as the Knight closed on him. Cursing his monumental lapse of judgement in attempting to wield it at the same time as his blaster. The droid’s frame shifted in anticipation of locking blades with the eager Human but the shaft slipped between unprepared metal fingers and clashing loudly with frozen stone and sliding away a short distance.

Instinctively, Solari’s arm continued its motion upwards until it met the crimson blade.

A subtle smug look crept onto Dracaryis’ otherwise unremarkable face. The expression quickly changed to one of confusion as his blade collided with silvery scale patterned fabric covering the droids forearm and began sparking as it slid towards the droid’s hand and ultimately off into empty space. The Sith was left somewhat off balance by the sudden and unexpected lack of resistance.

Solari mustered the Force to his will and pushed against the Journeyman, hard enough that he tumbled backwards from his uneasy footing. He holstered his blaster and, a moment later, his lightsaber leaped back into his hand. He made a show of placing it on hit belt.

“You’re out matched… Dracaryis,” Solari reported, including the human’s name he’d recalled from his time as Headmaster. “I truly do not wish to harm you.”

Solari was about to continue but he was interrupted by the Marauder once again charging. "This one won't listen to reason," he noted silently as he quickly drew he blaster yet again and quickly peeled off a shot towards the ceiling. The shot met the base – or technically the top – of large ice stalactite at just the right angle to cause it to break off and land between the two combatants.

The falling ice was only enough to slightly slow the humans advance, determination evident on his face. Solari backed away, looking for a way to keep distance between himself and the advancing Knight. He fired a small volley of shots which were effectively, if not elegantly, deflected away.

The droid’s vocoder let out what sounded like a garbled static sound, but was actually a curse of frustration in binary. Solari was going to have to wear out his opponent if he was going to be able to land a shot on him and he doubted he could take the organic in direct melee. He continued to back up, firing shots as his opponent quickly closed the gap.

Just as Dracaryis neared the droid, he watched in bemusement as it’s metal foot slipped out from underneath it on a particularly smooth patch of ice. The droids frame fell quickly and the back of it’s head smashed into a rocky outcropping; not as fatal for a droid as for a human, but caused the droid’s brain to reboot.

The Knight leaped on top of the droid, straddling it’s waist as he brought the blade of his blade down in an attempt to pierce the chest cavity where the glowing crystal sat while it attempted to regain control of it’s host.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 4 September, 2015 3:35 AM UTC

"This one won't listen to reason," - You don't need to italicize and quotation this. Just italicizing is fine for thoughts.

I TOLD YOU TO CAPTURE HIM, NOT KILL HIM!

Dracaryis froze, his blade millimeters from the glowing crystal that was Solari. The Dread Lord’s voice was as clear in his mind as though the Warlord was standing next to him.

“Yield, Jedi. You do not have to die today.”

The momentary pause in combat gave Solari the chance to act. His droid host systems reinitialized, he threw the Knight off of him an immediate wave of energy. Dracaryis flew back like a rag doll, landing hard and sliding away along the cold, frozen floor. His lightsaber flew from his hands, and slid to a stop a few meters from where he now lay.

Solari leapt to his feet, raised his blaster, and pointed it at the Sith’s prone body.

“Enough!” The Auger said. “End this madness, Dracaryis. You showed so much promise as a student in the Shadow Academy. You could be so much more if you opened your eyes and turned away from the Dark Side of the Force. Let go of your anger, and come with me. I do not wish to kill you here, but I will do what is necessary!”

Dracaryis slowly made his way back to his feet, a difficult task on the icy floor of the cave. He stood and faced Solari-Urr.

“You think I was seduced by the Dark Side of the Force?” Dracaryis spat. “I am the apprentice of the Grand Master. He has shown me that there is no Light or Dark Side of the force. There is only power. Like him, I chose power. The Dread Lord of Plagueis has tasked me with capturing you, and he will reward me! I will become one of the most powerful Sith the galaxy has ever known!

And with that, Dracaryis reached out and called his lightsaber to him, ignited the blade, and charged.

Solari was ready this time. He unloaded a volley of fire from his blaster, forcing Dracaryis to defend himself. Bolt after bolt he deflected the onslaught from Solari’s blaster, looking for a way to close the gap between them.

Slowly and steadily Dracaryis moved closer and closer to his foe, dodging and leaping to avoid the continuous assault from the Auger’s WESTAR 35. Dracaryis knew he could not maintain a defensive posture for long. He had to find a way to permanently shut down the machine that housed the Shard’s crystal body.

THE POOL!

Dracaryis knew immediately what he must do. Carefully he worked to maneuver himself so Solari was between himself and the small pool of icy water in the rear of the room. He had only one chance to get this right. The lightning had shut down the body before. If he could get the droid into the water, and then electrify it, he might have a chance to shut him down permanently. Then Vivackus would have the body and the Shard to do with as he pleased.

“I yield!” Dracaryis yelled suddenly, deactivating his lightsaber and dropping to his knee. “No more, I beg of you!”

Solari stopped, and if a droid could look puzzled, Dracaryis was certain that the Auger would look it now. Only a meter or two separated Dracaryis from Solari, and another meter separated Solari from the pool.

Wait for it, Drac…get him off guard for a moment…

Solari reached out and pulled Dracaryis’ lightsaber from his grip, keeping the blaster trained on the kneeling Sith.

“You made the right decision, Dracaryis. Stand. We will leave this place together…”

Without warning, Dracaryis lunged forward. Calling upon the Force, he lashed out and sent a wave of energy directly at the droid, sending him flying backwards into the pool. The Sith leapt forward and raised his hands.

“You’re right, we will leave this place together.”

And with that, Dracaryis once again unleashed tendrils of electricity from his fingertips, electrifying the pool where Solari-Urr now stood.

The smell of ozone and burnt circuitry cut through the cool air in the cave, assaulting Dracaryis’ nostrils. The droid spasmed violently as it multitude of servos, pistons and joints all activated and reactivated in rapid succession involuntarily. The smell of ozone became even more pungent as two of the droids photo receptors burst in a small shower of green-tinted glass.

Almost as suddenly as the convulsions had started, the droid froze in place; all the electronics finally seizing such that they couldn’t operate without extreme physical force.

‘Hubris can always be relied upon to topple even the mightiest Jedi.’

Confident in his victory, as anyone would be in this situation, Dracaryis waded into the shallow water to claim his trophy. As he approached the motionless droid, the transparent panel covering the green crystal’s cavity sprung open. Another moment later and the Shard inside sprung out of its housing and sprung into the confused Sith’s chest.

’Springs’, the human heard a disembodied voice in his head. It wasn’t galactic basic, but he understood it none the less. _’Electronics fail. I do not.’

The crystal lay completely submerged, the green pulses of light inside it traveling through the water in a beautiful display, not too dissimilar from an aurora.

The temperature of the water finally hit Dracaryis, who had been staring at the motionless crystal. He ignored the feeling of his lower limbs freezing and made his way over to the Gray Jedi. ‘Does he really think he stands a chance without his body?’ He considered internally as he cautiously approached, lightsaber gripped tight and ready for any surprises.

Solari knew he was in trouble. He wasn’t helpless outside of his host, but normally he would only be using the Force to levitate his crystalline body from one host to another or into a vat of anti-oxidizing solution while droids performed maintenance on his mechanical body. He took stock of his mental condition, replayed the skirmish with the Journeyman, and plotted data points against his previous testing.

‘I can manage one more, solid, burst. It will either be enough, or I accept defeat,’ the Shard reasoned.

The Force swelled, compelling oxygen to condense. Solari focused, green light flickering faster and faster through his form; he hoped it would distract his opponent. The oxygen, packed so tight it nearly became visible, shot into Sith’s chest.

Dracaryis flew backwards out of the water, his feet clearly leaving the ground. The wind was knocked out of him and his eyes bulged. His back struck a tall rock, cutting his motion off in an instant. Blood trickled from his nose.

’You’re not dead, Knight, but this is your last chance to repent. Flee before I am forced to do something I will regret.’

Solari pushed against the Knight’s mind, hoping to influence him into voluntarily abandoning the fight. The Shard was not particularly skilled in the manipulation of others but hoped he’d done enough to lower the Human’s mental fortitude.

Minutes ticked away slowly. Solari continued to attempt probing, knowing it was his only hope to avoid capture. He could sense that the Knight wasn’t moving, but that he was still alive. Had he done too much?

Dracaryis lay with his eyes closed, conserving his energy and focusing the Force towards his injuries. Eventually he stood, wiping the blood from his nose.

‘You’re done,’ he sighed as he walked back towards the Shard with a slight limp. Reaching down, he hoisted the crystal in one hand and then set off towards the exit.

Adept Alaris Jinn, 4 September, 2015 3:45 AM UTC

The oxygen, packed so tight it nearly became visible, shot into Sith’s chest. - I literally said, "Awesome."