Thu-thud thud-thud, thu-thu-thud thud, thud-thu thu-thud…
They crashed through the foliage. His legs screamed in agony even with the Force to invigorate his muscles. His breath came in harsh, shallow gasps that burned his throat like paint-thinning bathtub gin on its way back up. If it wasn’t for the sweaty, crushing grip of his Consul’s hand on his, more or less dragging his hide along mercilessly behind her, he would’ve happily curled up and died twenty twisting sets of stairs and swaying bridges ago.
Then again, them fluffballs weren’t eh, very pleased. Probably would’ve been unpleasant to get more acquainted, mused Kordath’s exhaustion-numb brain as his eyes drifted from the woman in front of him — he was too tired to enjoy the view anyway — to the very steep drop to his left. Then again...there’s always the quick way…
No sooner had the thought formed at the end of his synapses then his foot caught one of the many stray, freakishly thick vines, and he felt gravity’s sick and insistent claws sink in. The Seer’s grip on him, an opposite but equally demanding force, yanked his arm near out of its socket before he could kiss the moss-covered planks.
“Come...on...Bleu!” Atyiru panted as she hauled him back upright. “We...have to...keep going.”
“H-haven’t...we...co-come far...enough?” wheezed the Ryn.
“You...can sense them...as well as I can,” the Miraluka spat back. “Just a...little further, to be safe...then we’ll rest…”
“But—”
Her snarling face came so close to his that their noses brushed. “Gods help me, Rat, I will make you wish the Wookiees had ripped you to pieces and torn you apart limb from limb. Shut up and move.”
Kordath really couldn’t feel his feet anymore but he started climbing again anyway.
The world went back to being a painfully sober blur of moving his legs and dodging leaves, branches, and various mushrooms that he suspected had teeth. At one point Atyiru grabbed onto him again when he got too slow for her womanly liking, towing him further up into the canopies that he was fairly sure were going to be the scene of his murder.
And then she just stopped.
The Ryn went stumbling headlong into her, and the pair met the spongy, overgrown platform beneath them in a tangle of limbs. He scrambled to push himself to his knees and get his hands off of the unfortunate places they’d landed before they got broken.
Kordath held his breath as Atyiru very slowly lifted her head, spitting a mouthful of grime and greenery. Equally slowly, she turned her face his way, as if ‘staring’ at him. Or through him.
“Eh, sorry,” he mumbled, wobbling to his feet on legs like water and extending a hand to her with a polite cough.
The silent Miraluka took it, standing and brushing herself off, bright green stains on the palms and knees of her white attire. Kordath mentally slapped himself, looking around instead of at his friend. They’d come to another platform, this one shady and cool, with branches, bunches of vines, and other vegetation creating a sweeping roof overhead. The bark under his boots creaked unnervingly, and the air was thick with the smells of fresh dank, forest musk, and rotting wood.
Besides the chattering of various insects and animals that could probably eat him whole, it was quiet up here. No bellowing, angry carpet-monsters after his skin.
As if reading his mind — which, for all he knew, she was — Atyiru gave a scoff and began picking flowery bits out of her hair. “You had to tick off the Wookiees, didn’t you? You just haaaaad to. Why do I even bring you on these diplomatic visits? Ashla and Bogan...”
“Oi, now, I wasn’ tryin’ to offend nobody—”
“How in the Galaxy is asking the matriarch if she ‘really has six knockers under that robe’ inoffensive?”
“...it’s, eh...cultural sharing? Learn about our different peoples and all that fancy jizz music.”
“Oh, my Gods.”
“Easy, Blinky,” said the Ryn placatingly, raising his hands in what he hoped was a calming gesture. “We can just call the transport and come back in, eh, a couple years when they’ve calmed down, forgotten this whole business. Lookie, I’ll even foot the bill to buy ‘em a round, bit o’ butterin’ up.”
She put her hands on her hips and scrunched her eyebrows at him.
Oh, kark me, Kordath thought, knowing by now exactly what that stance meant. He was very close to getting smacked, if he couldn’t get her all laughing or friendly-like real quick.
“Look at it this way, lady: since me publisher’s riding me tail again, it’s like fact-checking for me BlindChicks books, heh, ‘cept this time I’m the one gettin’ uh...um, chased.”
Atyiru scoffed, “Please, there were only five Wookiees chasing us. Jin had six feral ones, and they caught her.”
Kordath blinked. Twice.
The Miraluka’s expression went from condescending to horrified in three seconds flat. She clapped a hand over her mouth. The Ryn blinked some more.
And then he started to laugh.
“S-so tha-that’s why I’ve been selling at least one audio version on the preorder every edition, e-eh?” chuckled the Savant. “Oh, I’ve got to tell Uji ‘bout this.”
“I...it...i—it’s...it’s for...I'm keeping tabs on your damned slandering, Bleu!"
"Didja like the 'authentic ambient sounds' in this one?"
“Eh, Jin’s voice actor is a little overly dramatic if you know what I mea—” she cut herself off again and cursed, “Dammit!”
Kordath doubled over as he snickered breathlessly.
“Shut up, Bleu!” the woman growled, her tan cheeks turning red under that blindfold.
“H-hey,” wheezed the Ryn, thinking to himself that if he died now, at least it’d be funny. “C’mon Blinky, all this time a-and you’ve been a BlindChicks fan? Was you the one forking over extra for the autographed copies?”
He really wasn’t surprised, for once, when she gave another furious shriek, pulled out a blaster, and started shooting at his head. He ducked around veridian bolts and did the only thing he could think of: closed the few inches between them, struck out a flat-palmed hand, and knocked the pistol out of her fingers. It went sailing out into open air and disappeared from view.
For half a heartbeat, there was a pause, the acrid smell of superheated plasma still hanging on the air. Atyiru’s empty hand, still held in front of her, curled slowly into a fist. Her teeth pulled back in a snarl.
“I’ll buy ya a new one?” Kordath offered, cracking a grin. “You can save your creds for the new series?”
She swung for his face.
=x=
The Ryn gave an eep and twisted away with all the grace of a drunken monkey-lizard, stumbling back the way they’d come, towards the edge of that platform. Atyiru took two steps after him, catching him by the collar of his long robes and leaning him over the precipice.
“Or you could go fetch that DL-18 personally,” hissed the Miraluka. “I’ll even help you in getting back down.”
“Or, or, and hear me, heh, out here,” said the author. “Or, I can give you all me original writin’. First n’ second drafts, notes, unedited editions, everything. I’ll even sign ‘em.”
Atyiru paused, furious expression relaxing as her brows furrowed. She bit her lip as her heart fluttered in her chest.
Original copies…
Something thin but strong wrapped around her left ankle and pulled.
The Miraluka yelped as the ground disappeared beneath her feet and the back of her skull met the plant-cushioned deck. Above her, Kordath wobbled, arms pinwheeling as he found his balance and half-fell forward. He scurried past her, further onto the wroshyr platform and further from possible death by splattering. Atyiru sat up and twisted around, balled fists slamming indignantly into the wood she knelt on.
“Did you just trip me with your bloody karking tail?!”
The Ryn bobbed in a simple stage bow. “That, heh, will be the start of me next novella. Tripping...and such.”
She felt her whole face burn, heat crawling up from her chest to her ears and making it a little hard to breathe. She wanted to vomit or find a rock to crawl under.
Instead, Atyiru plucked her second blaster from her belt, pointed it up at the other Jedi, and loosed a salvo of emerald fire.
While I love the creativity of the sash bit and would normally applaud it, sadly, there's a problem. Since the sash would fall in the category of an miscellaneous weapon, I'm just not seeing how you'd manage something like what you did with a +1 on the skill.