SWL Andrelious J. Inahj vs. KAP Saskia Ortega

Warlord Andrelious J. Inahj

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Sith, Seeker
vs.

Krath Archpriestess Saskia Ortega

Equite 2, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Human, Krath, Seeker
Comment

I'm going to advise you both to make sure you use the team of proofers that Arcona has available. Xath, I need to stress that I loved your posts, but there just wasn't enough combat in them. They would have been awesome Run-on posts.

Congrats on the win, Mark.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 1 Day
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants SWL Andrelious J. Inahj, KAP Saskia Ortega
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
SWL Andrelious J. Inahj's Character Snapshot Snapshot
KAP Saskia Ortega 's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Dark Temple Ruins - Central Chamber
Last Post 30 May, 2014 9:05 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Deleted Xathia Edraven
Score: 4 Score: 2
Rationale: There were a few punctuation errors, (an extra period, a missing comma, etc), but nothing that really pulled me out of the match. It noticed it too much for a full 5/5. Rationale: The new website operates of Dropdown, not HTML, so [i]this[/i] won't work. You need to put a * on either side of the area you need italicized. Pressing show preview before posting will help with finding these things. (Her nose wrinkled as she caught a faint whiff of alcohol amongst the scents of pollen and excrement as her foot slid into a fresh pile of dung that was in her path.) This is a problematic sentence, you used "as she/her" twice, which made the sentence longer than it needed to be and made it a little difficult to read. You used "as" to introduce a subordinate clause several times throughout your post. This made it repetitive and, again, a little difficult to read.
Story - 40%
Deleted Xathia Edraven
Score: 5 Score: 3
Rationale: I loved the way you wrote. You used illusion in such a way that we sometimes forget is a possibility. (The encounter had begun as the sun had started to set. Shadows had grown longer and longer as the local star disappeared behind the horizon, and now darkness was setting in.) This line is great! We sometimes forget to display the passage of time and this is a great way of showing that. Another thing I loved was your mentioning that Saskia was never awarded a Sapphire Blade, which is technically true, since the SB was awarded to Xathia. Nice touch. Great work. Rationale: You wrote a compelling story. It was descriptive and interesting to read, but had very little combat written into it. I believe that using Force Powers like illusion are part of combat, but your first post was all exposition, forcing Lenzar to start the battle and do all the work. Your deathpost was a little better, but really could have used a bit more combat, as well.
Realism - 25%
Deleted Xathia Edraven
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: You used both character sheets very well. You used your opponent's aspects in a great way. Rationale: You used your character sheet very well, but you spent so little time focused on Andrelious that you almost didn't even need to use his. You touched on his aspect, "Nasty Way to Go," though I take the feat as to say he eventually wants to kill his opponent, not just torture them.
Continuity - 20%
Deleted Xathia Edraven
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No concerns. Rationale: No problems.
Deleted's Score: 4.85 Xathia Edraven's Score: 3.5
Posts

As you walk through the swampy jungle to the South, you enter the ancient ruins of the Dark Temple. Abandoned and forgotten, the temple has slowly succumbed to the erosion of time. Before you lies the central chamber—the walls have crumbled, the ceiling caved in, and the jungle now flourishes within the once pristine halls.

Green light filters itself through the temple, mixing eerily with the dark, violet hue of Dromund Kaas' sky. Lightning flickers overhead, the raw energy of the Force clashing high above. The floor is overgrown with flora, large plants and grasses that have swallowed the old stone. Wild creatures roam freely, skittering away from your presence, but your heightened senses can feel the brush of vicious predators, hiding just out of sight.

The main hall is lined on both sides by towering statues, heads bowed in supplication. They stand in deference to the sculpture of a pureblooded Sith, which towers over the chamber with outstretched arms. The sculpture has been split diagonally down the middle, as if cleaved in two by a rusted blade, but you can still feel the majesty in the stone.

On either side of the main hall, remnants of branches to inaccessible parts of the temple remain. Ignoring those, your head tilts to take in what is left of the mezzanine—the balcony overlooking the chamber—still held aloft by the great pillars standing behind the statues. Several of the pillars have fallen, providing a pathway up to the mezzanine for those willing to take the risk for higher ground.

You can feel the danger of the temple. Sense the spirits of the Sith that still haunt the grounds, waiting for poor, misguided fools to walk blindly into their domain. Now, they have two souls to consume… that is, if you and your opponent don't destroy each other first.

The damp smell resounded throughout the place, as Saskia tilted her head upwards, catching a ray of green light on her face. The nearest statue loomed over her lean figure as she gingerly placed a foot forward on the mossy stone. A textural change from the swampy dregs she had been wading through until now. The ground was still non existent, yet in the fauna and hidden in the shadows, there was some long forgotten ancient knowledge. Something about the first computers that had drawn the Krath’s attention to the place.

Her nose wrinkled as she caught a faint whiff of alcohol amongst the scents of pollen and excrement as her foot slid into a fresh pile of dung that was in her path. They were as disgusting as each other, as the Inquisitor wiped her boot free of the manure on the base of the nearest statute. Her weapons were still on her belt, but she was not as naive as most thought at a glance. Her dominant hand was wrapped around the hilt of the Sapphire Blade, as she tried to listen out for any movements the other individual was making.

Humans made a distinctive indent in nature. Their smells, their movements, their presence all left an imprint in their path. Anyone who invaded that was not their own made an imprint. Everyone thought they could blend, but no one truly could as Saskia’s mind glossed over all the hacker imprints she’d seen, left behind and found buried in code. Reality was no different from a computer system. Everything was disturbed in some way when something out of place passed through, and someone had passed through here, potentially even laid out a trap to capture her in.

The destructive nature of the temple was screaming out to the young woman, as the sunlight stopped streaming in from the far side of the ‘clearing’. A hint of greying hair, and a stocky build, the Rollmaster of Arcona was one of the last she’d expected to be facing in this place. Technology was not something that sprung to mind around the male. Chauvinist? Yes, but nothing of any interest that the two would intentionally cross over with.

Thinking nothing of it, she thrust her hand out, twisting the immediate surroundings around the Sith. Blurring the lines of reality as the trees and bushes merged together, different shapes becoming one as the illusion broke its momentary grasp at Andrelious. The Cirrian had heard of his brutal endings towards his adversaries, and it cracked a smile on her face. He would provide a challenge as the woman dipped behind a crumbling, scarred statue, its head looking down in disapproval whilst a blaster bolt grazed the stone cutting. It would need to be made of something tough to survive this long in this environment, though if it would withstand the combat between two Dark Jedi, was another matter.

Saskia remained crouching in the cover point as Andrelious approached.As a Krath, the Archpriestess had focused her studies on the Force and was probably no match for the seasoned combat skills of her current opponent, even with the Sapphire Blade she claimed as her own.

There’s something about this Ortega woman that doesn’t quite add up. There’s no record in any file about her having been awarded a Sapphire Blade. Inahj thought to himself as he slowly cantered towards the female, navigating the ruins carefully rather than quickly. One false move would be enough to give his fellow Galerean an opening.

Sensing the ex-Imperial growing ever closer, Saskia smirked to herself. She had the perfect way to throw Andrelious off balance.

“Seems we had company, Inahj! Over there!” the Krath called out, pointing in the direction of a collapsed wall. Inahj casually glanced towards where his opponent was pointing, expecting nothing more than a ruse. He had almost turned back towards Ortega when he realised.

Andrelious’ eyes widened in fear. KOOKI!

Andrelious’ own fiancée had apparently made her way to Dromund Kaas too, despite the Warlord having insisted she stay at home. Now, she had seemingly fallen from a destroyed corridor, her purple-tipped hair flapping around in the breeze as she lay lifelessly on her side.

It’s too late. I can’t sense a lifeform at all. Not anything..

Desperately running towards his fallen lover, the Rollmaster noticed ‘Kooki’ was beginning to fade away. The Sith’s grief ebbed away too, replaced by fury as he began to realise what had actually happened.

“An impressive parlour trick, Miss Ortega! But such things won’t save you from the power of a Sith!” the Warlord hissed, turning his attention to the Dark Forge member. His approach was a little less cautious this time, knowing that further hesitation would allow the female to continue to manipulate him mentally. As he charged in towards the Archpriestess, Andrelious concentrated on his hatred of what the woman had just done, using the power it gave him to attack the Krath. The Force-based blow caught Saskia in the ribs, hard enough to wind her severely, but lacking the strength to crack ribs or puncture lungs. Inahj watched with a smile as his opponent gasped for breath.

I couldn’t keep the ruse up for long enough. Stupid, stupid! Saskia cursed to herself as the Warlord continued to edge closer towards her location.

The Archpriestess reached for her own lightsaber, holding it in a defensive pattern while she backed away from the Rollmaster. As her breathing became more steady, she turned on her heels and paced away from Andrelious, looking back to adjust the direction and speed of her own movement. Each and every time the male altered his trajectory, Ortega countered, determined to keep a large distance between herself and her opponent.

With a sharp turn, Saskia ducked behind a partially destroyed pillar. Smiling smugly, she relaxed a little as Inahj stopped, unsure for a few moments as to where his target had gone.

“It’s time this charade was ended!” Andrelious declared loudly as he sensed Saskia. With no obvious pathway amongst the ruins, the Warlord decided to clamber along in as straight a line as the terrain allowed. Gingerly moving onto what looked like a particularly safe area of flooring, Inahj was stunned as he felt himself falling. Landing awkwardly enough to sprain his right ankle, the Rollmaster winced in pain as he gazed upwards. His opponent’s illusionary abilities were beginning to get on his nerves.

NOW! This is the one chance I’ll get! Ortega thought as she made her way towards the injured Inahj as quickly as she could. Already the Warlord was healing himself and Saskia’s window of opportunity was rapidly closing.

She had seconds to make an attack count.

The sense of danger had all of her body heightened, the thrill of the chase, the smell of imaginary blood amongst the grass. She was straining to hold back a laugh, it had been so long since she'd felt this alive. A smile was strung across her face as the Archpriestess tried to keep herself still amongst the screaming presence of the Force. She hadn't been able to make the illusion last long enough to get her preferred method underway. The Force was a brilliant thing, and powerful enough to drive anyone long past the brink of insanity.

Everyone had their limits, everyone was a book waiting to be opened, to be discovered. No one could save themselves from the talents of the puppeteer.

Kooki hadn’t been lying dead for long enough to let her get close enough to lay a fatal blow, but, it had shown she wasn’t incompetent. She’d been hiding in Xathia’s shadow in her own mind since her arrival as she began to place the pins out of her masterpiece. She could not afford another screw up, the Rollmaster could not have another chance to deal a heavy blow. Her body was not built to take more than a few hits, and the strain of all her mental focus was being to wear.

[i]Just a little longer…[/i] She thought, mentally pulling out a point of her magnum opus as a blaster bolt seared through her hair, freeing what hadn’t been burnt off from the rough ponytail she had throw together in her early passage of the jungle.

The sheer heat was burning at her head. He had missed on purpose. She’d lost focus on his presence. Another idiotic mistake as the Krath scrambled back to her feet. Moss went flying as the forming bruise on her chest was slammed back into the ground.

“Careful, I hear the ground is slippy,” Andrelious offered.

A dry chuckle escaped from the woman as she uprighted herself, slipping the lightsaber into her dominant hand. “Really? Thanks,” Saskia laughed, chunks of her hair left around the flattened grass and moss as the brown melted into the greenery.

A momentary instinct deep within the Archpriestess forced her to react to the unseen. Another bolt cruised through, opening material and flesh to the pollen filled air. The main statue seemed to loom over the woman, looking down on her, disgusted at what he saw as the robes flew out from the half collapsed memorial, covering the room in dark material. A covering a shadow, as the combatants were plunged into the darkness that they carried inside of them. It clouded them both as Saskia tilted her head back, letting the power of the Force blow over her.

There was a blast of terror through the air, electrifying the hairs on the woman’s arms as the sound of bolts being fired ripped through the rippling shadows, tearing gauges of green light into the hall. A silver blade batted away the initial attacks, her hazel eyes shimmering with the reflection of her lightsaber whilst the statute returned to its original positioning, in two pieces and partially covering the ground around it.

“Tricks of the mind will always overpower those of the body,” Saskia finally cracked, her lips slightly parting as the words left her mouth. Though barely above a whisper, it thundered throughout the crumbling ruins.

Pain roared through her thigh. Unable to hold her weight, she hit the ground and took down some nearby bushes. The leaves and twigs scratched and stuck to her skin, bringing red to the fight after a long game. Her laugh was one of last resort.

“Losing is harder for some to come back from than death,” the Warlord said, another bolt going through her other knee.

Her body physically shuddered in suffering, as a fresh wave of nausea, blood and pain shot through the Cirrian quicker than the speed of light. Her skin was clammy and pasty, as she clutched tightly on both legs, her breathing laboured. The [i]osi’yaim[/i] had apparently glared into her past, and deep into her as well.

Andrelious left without another word, leaving her to patch herself up. The humiliation was burning brighter than anything as she snorted back tears. She’d been left defeated, but alive. Saskia buried her head in her blood sodden hands, there was nothing more oppressing and degrading then to be left as she had been.

Andrelious remained laying awkwardly on the ground even as his opponent drew near. The small pit he had fallen into appeared to be the remains of an ancient trap, though whatever it had been protecting had long since been removed from the area. The Sith moved slightly, reducing his discomfort, but remained focused solely on his damaged ankle. The Force was still hard at work undoing the injury.

Saskia reached the edge of the pit, and peered into it. She noticed the Warlord, and smiled when she saw he was not yet back on his feet. She began to plot a safe route downwards, noticing little in the way of cover. If Inahj wasn’t that badly hurt, the Archpriestess would be risking her neck. There were enough potential escape routes that meant leaving Andrelious where he was was not a viable option.

“Do join me, Miss Ortega!” the Rollmaster cried as an invisible hand dragged the female into the pit. The Krath hit the ground with an almighty thud. Inahj was as fast to his feet as he could manage, his ankle no longer sprained but still a little sore. He took a couple of steps over to the female. She had managed to fall onto her hands, fracturing several fingers, but crucially saving herself from a more severe injury.

“Now. Time you stopped all that nonsense and fought properly. It’s unfortunate that it was you who found the little trap I had set here – I was hoping for a Taldryanite. I didn’t even realise who you were until after I’d fired upon you. Unfortunately for you, your reaction to my little mistake was most disappointing. I’m afraid I can’t let you get away with that particular act of deception. That, and leaving Soulfire like the way you did left Nadrin and I bitterly disappointed. I’ll be telling Valkish he needs a new Sergeant,” the Warlord spat, his tone turning hostile towards the end of his speech. As he finished, he readied his silver-hilted lightsaber, sensing that there was still plenty of fight left within his opponent.

Saskia quickly healed her damaged digits, wordlessly activating her own lightsaber. With the aid of the Force she was able to block Inahj’s initial attack, using the momentum she built up to duck away from the second. Seeing a large gap in the pit’s walls, the Cirrian sprinted away, knowing she was a little nimbler on her feet than her current opponent.

More running? I thought this girl was little more than a computer head Inahj thought to himself as he gave chase.

The encounter had begun as the sun had started to set. Shadows had grown longer and longer as the local star disappeared behind the horizon, and now darkness was setting in. The jungle area around the ruined temple was fast becoming treacherous. Andrelious pressed on regardless, tracking his prey by her Force imprint. He reached a particularly dark area, and stopped. He could sense Saskia nearby, but could not immediately see or hear her. With trepidation, the Warlord stepped forwards.

Ortega appeared from nowhere, brandishing her Sapphire Blade. Unfortunately for the Archpriestess, Inahj had been expecting her to use such a move, and easily fended off the attack, before counter-attacking violently, searing Saskia with a quick burst of electricity.

“But I thought you liked electronics.” Andrelious taunted as the Krath fell to her knees, stunned by the ferocity of the Force-based assault. Her left arm had taken the hit and was now severely blistered to the point that she had dropped her precious Sapphire Blade. Inahj placed his foot on the weapon just in time to prevent Saskia’s desperate lunge from recovering it. As he did so, he also switched to the newer of his two lightsabers. Still acting speedily, Andrelious grabbed a large chunk of his opponent’s hair, dragging her towards his activated lightsaber. With a brutal yank, the Warlord forced Saskia’s head into the waiting crimson blade, fatally puncturing her brain.

The Archpriestess slumped to the ground, her spirit already dragged into the netherworld of the Force.

Andrelious started the long walk back to his ship. He’d have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.