Adept Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae vs. Battlelord Kz'set di Plagia

Adept Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae

Elder 1, Elder tier, Clan Arcona
Male Human, Force Disciple, Marauder, Krath
vs.

Battlelord Kz'set di Plagia

Equite 3, Equite tier, Clan Plagueis
Male Verpine, Sith, Techweaver
Comment

This was a wonderfully established fight between two very strong writers. While that strength is in differing styles, it is still obvious and makes this a tight match to grade.

There aren't many improvements to offer up in my suggestions that I haven't covered in the score and post comments, so I recommend you both take a look at those.

In terms of pure story, with the introspective nature of Tim's standing next to the abruptness of Kz'set's, the imagery and flow on display from Tim never misses a beat. It is this strength that pushes him up and breaks what is a number-based tie.

That said, I officially declare Adept Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae the winner of this match.

Good luck to you both in the future.

Hall Grand Master's Invitational Tournament [2015]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Adept Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae, Battlelord Kz'set di Plagia
Winner Adept Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Adept Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Battlelord Kz'set di Plagia's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Arx: The Abandoned Mines
Last Post 28 November, 2015 4:27 AM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Minor issues, refer to comments. Rationale: Minor issues, refer to comments.
Story - 40%
Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Excellent imagery and great flow of story telling. The factor holding you back from top marks is the introverted nature of the story you told. The tournament itself, and your opponent, came across a bit as after thoughts. Rationale: You brought in a good story with a good understanding of the characters. The area that held you back in this regard would be a lack of effective imagery for the scene itself, and the abruptness of your ending.
Realism - 25%
Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No apparent issues. Rationale: No apparent issues.
Continuity - 20%
Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No apparent issues. Rationale: No apparent issues.
Timeros Caesus Entar Arconae's Score: 4.45 Grand Inquisitor Arden Karn di Plagia's Score: 4.45
Posts

mines

Pulley-operated, mechanical-lifts descend into the earth below the Arena. The Abandoned Mines pre-date the Galactic Empire by thousands of years. Once used as mining routes, the long forgotten network of interconnecting tunnels has held stalwart against the sands of time. After exiting, the lift begins its retreat back to the surface. Sporadic crystals protrude from the walls to quietly radiate ochre light like naturally-forming torches. The small alcove gives birth to a maze of wide tunnels supported by old, steadfast wooden beams.The tunnels spider and split off into various directions, some leading to dead ends while others ultimately lead back to the central Mining Shaft.

The central Mining Shaft is square pit that descends into a deep pit that radiates a luminescent, cerulean glow from the horde of crystalized shards still growing below. The air hangs with a cool, windless chill. Stone stalactites hang ominously overhead, flanked by jagged jutters of rock and sediment that line the ascending walls.

To reach the surface, blocks of stone wide enough for two humans to stand side by side on, shift back and forth in a combination of a lateral and ascending patterns. Each cubic platform is controlled by a mechanical pulley and each cubic platform will eventually pass close enough to step over to another. The spacing and timing is not attuned to any formal pattern, giving equal balance to both Force users and Mundanes. Whatever your talents, the shifting cubes are the only way to ascend back to the Arena.

mineshaft

Holocam Drones flit about the caverns, recording a live video feed that is transmitted back up towards the surface and projected over two large holodisplays for the crowd to observe. Progress will be watched as members are tried and tested.

The Grand Master’s only concern is the resourcefulness and resilience of his members. Reaching the surface will be no easy task, and doing so will be the only way for fighters to move forward in the Tournament.

“Begin.”

The word reverberated through the mines, commencement and finality all at once. It was a sign for conflict to start and for civility to end. The beginning of battle and the death of peace.

It meant the dogs of war had slipped their leashes.

Timeros stood silently on the elevator, surveying the tunnels that stretched before him like the ossified arteries of a long-dead giant. Somewhere within the twisting maze of passages, crystals, stalactites and dead ends lay his target, the insectile creature that had descended opposite the maze. Somewhere else, he knew, would be the central mining shaft which would lead out of the pit and into the Colosseum.

And yet, the Arconae realized as he stepped into the ochre glow, holocam drones following behind, he had little desire to ascend. The air was cold and still, and the crystalline lights flickered about his form like flames, yet the claustrophobic confines seemed far more free to him than did the sandy field and thronged masses above. The Brotherhood had become an alien thing, shrinking as it left behind the timeworn Elder and moved beyond his understanding. It was a place of confusion, now, with a thousand rules and restrictions he understood as little more than abstractions, and most of his generation long dead in a dozen fratricidal wars.

Hidden beneath the earth, however, he could still be Timeros, with a foe to fight and a purpose beyond question. It called to him, seductive and exhilarating.

The enemy is here.

The Entar’s mind unhinged, floodgates of understanding thrown open as superhuman senses usurped his natural perception. He was met with echoing silence, a yawning void that seemed to welcome his presence...and within, the methodical buzz of a Verpine mind.

Kz’set moved with purpose and deliberation, feelings unwaveringly cool as he navigated the tunnels and followed a tangled path towards his Arconan foe. Like his opponent, the Battlelord was moving with surety, his progress clearly guided by Force-bestowed awareness.

The combatants accelerated their pace as they spiraled through the mines, attracted like planets in a tidal lock, awareness constantly turning and focused upon the other. When collision occurred, neither combatant was surprised.

They rounded the corner simultaneously, separated by a stony corridor. For a moment, there was a flash of recognition and an appearance flickering in flameless light: stake-like limbs jutting from a lanky frame, cast in armor of red and black. The few remaining visible sections of carapace were a contrasting green, and his face was dominated by a prominent snout.

Then, Kz’set raised his shatter gun, and further considerations were pulverized amidst the fire.

The first pellet whizzed past the Entar’s head in eerie silence, little more than a rush of movement before cratering against the wall behind him. He responded with sinuous grace, uncoiling into motion as the Verpine leveled the slugthrower and met the Elder with a hail of bullets.

Useless.

Timeros weaved his way through the metallic storm with precognitive elegance, stepping calmly from side to side and dodging the bullets with inches to spare, the complicated tangle of bullets utterly ineffective as he advanced towards the Battlelord. As the spindly creature gestured in apparent frustration, the Adept whipped up his hand in a gripping gesture and his Westar leapt into it of its own accord, settling in his palm just as he pulled the trigger.

A wave of exhilaration engulfed the Arconae as bolts leaped from his blaster in a strobing pulse of crimson. For a moment, the sensation seemed intense, panicky, as though the Verpine before him had already fallen. And then the holocam drone hit the Elder, sending him sprawling to the floor, and the Human realized it was he, rather than his hermaphrodite foe, who was in danger of death.

The Arconan crashed against the jagged rocks, shots going wide and his blaster flung from his grasp as the droid hovered above him. Belatedly, he recognized that Kz’set’s gesture had not been a mark of failure but rather triumph, seizing control of one of the omnipresent drones to topple his overbalanced adversary.

Gritting his teeth, the Adept called upon the Force, flinging himself upwards with a sudden, preternatural alacrity just instants before the pellets scraped into the rock below. The Elder pivoted as he rose, then kicked up at the ceiling, plummeting down as a second shot tore overhead. He landed in a crouch, the diminutive drone trapped beneath him and crushed beneath his boot.

Before the di Plagia could let loose another shot, the Entar raised his hand and summoned his blaster. He fired immediately, unleashing a wave of scarlet. Without time to aim, his the bolts ripped into walls, ceiling and floor, cratering stone and shattering crystals in an explosive wave of jagged chips. Enveloped, Kz’set retreated immediately, ducking around a corner as the Arconae’s weapon drew uneven streaks into the corridor.

Timeros followed without hesitation or hurry, crystalline splinters crunching beneath his boots and mind stretching to hunt down the retreating Verpine. The Plagueian had proven unexpectedly ingenuous, and the Adept had no intention of being lured into another trap. His far-flung senses reported the alien halting and waiting, a tremor of uncertainty creeping into his mind as the Arconae’s terrifying presence expanded to envelop the waiting Battlelord. The Entar silently prepared himself, then rounded the corner.

He was met with a deluge of fire, pellets loaded and hurled with all the speed Ks’zet could muster. Rather than split apart the Entar, however, the di Plagia’s onslaught stalled in midair, boring into an invisible field before falling to the ground in a plinking rain of slugs. The barrier buckled almost immediately, but it held long enough for the Arconan to raise his Westar.

Ks’zet arm was already rising in anticipation, ready to dismantle his enemy’s weapon with a gesture, shatter gun lined up to -

The Force hit the Plagueian moments before his foe did, transcendent foresight forcing the alien to abandon his movement and sidestep the sudden blast of telekinetic power. It split the air beside him, shattering its stillness as a gust of wind ripped through the tunnels. The next moment, the telltale whine of blaster fire forced the lanky Verpine to turn his step into a roll.

Timeros surged forward, tearing his lightsaber from his belt and setting it alight to complement his blaster. The Verpine, ascending from his crouch, likewise drew his saber as the Arconae approached, its unfurling ochre flame almost invisible against the crystal’s light and his slugthrower hastily stowed within his belt. As he rose, however, the Battlelord felt something creep into his mind.

Fear, sudden and powerful. It was an itch beneath his carapace, a terrified thrill at the back of his mind. Shadow descended upon his thoughts, and the vast expanse of his brilliance shrank to a point as monsters let loose within his soul, darkening the corridors of genius until he dared no longer walk them. The birthplace of his plans had become as barren as the mines, and the Verpine was alone in the darkness, trapped with a monster intent on his slaughter.

A single thought, almost wistful, crossed Timeros’ mind as he fell upon the Plagueian.

Terror is genius’ limit.

Darth Renatus, 30 November, 2015 1:07 AM UTC

Without time to aim, his the bolts ripped into walls, ceiling and floor,

Small misstep here, should be "the bolts" instead of "his the bolts".


This is a very strong post. Your imagery is strong and never loses the reader, it isn't a chore to read, and is overall a fun time as the onlooker. My only comment is that the story on display here is very introverted. While strong, it doesn't show as much about the greater flow of events. It merely sets up the internal struggle of this one character and then pure conflict.

For the first time in a very long time Kz’set had no idea what to do. Normally he had a solution to every problem, a plan for every situation. When presented with a challenge, he’d always been able to think his way out of it. But now, with this opponent, he quite simply didn’t have an answer. His earlier ploys had probably kept him alive, but now that his opponent was using his full range of abilities, it was all he could do to simply survive. The terror gripping his mind wouldn’t allow him to think straight and it was even affecting his fighting ability. Despite the dark tendrils of fear choking off his thought process, there was one clear thought that did occur to him.

What in the galaxy was he doing down here?

Kz’set wasn’t exactly what you’d call a duelist. Sure, he was decent with a lightsaber and had dealt with all sorts of opponents. He had beaten Vivackus, which some might consider impressive. Still, compared to those who had been selected, Kz’set had no real business in this tournament. He was sure to face a bunch of trained killers and duelists of far greater ability. Yet, for some reason, Teylas chose the Verpine to represent the clan. The Dread Lord had to know where Kz’set’s true talents lay. What was this supposed to accomplish? What was he playing at?

The beam of violet plasma heading towards his throat didn’t give Kz’set time to consider that question further.

Against most opponents the Verpine would fight cautiously, using his superior intellect to bait an opponent into a mistake. Timeros wasn’t a typical opponent. Between the fog of fear in his head and the opponent’s superior skill and agility, that wasn’t going to work. The insectoid made a couple of probing strikes at the Arconae, but the Elder effortlessly slid away from the insectoid’s saber. With an almost droid like rhythm, Timeros responded by carrying the momentum of his dodge into a spinning attack at the Verpine’s thorax. Kz’set was able to parry the blow, but then came another attack. Then another, and another, each using the motion of the prior one to try to get inside the di Plagia’s parries. Each time it became more difficult for Kz’set to keep up. Each attack pushed him back further. In a place with as much loose material and scattered obstacles, this wasn’t something Kz’set could keep doing forever. Eventually he’d slip up and, with an opponent like this, the slightest slip up could cost him any chance of advancing in this tournament. The Verpine needed an idea and fast.

Only one came to mind.

Kz’set waited until Timeros’ attack sequence had him whip around and then clicked the fingers of his left hand together. In a split second, the area went dark. As the Arconae was thrown off his rhythm, albeit for a moment, Kz’set bolted down the tunnel. Somewhat fortunately for the Plagueian, his backpedaling had brought him closer to the main shaft. The former Wrath could hear the grinding gears and creaking chains of the machines in the main chamber. The Verpine headed towards them with all the speed his spindly legs, aided by the Force, could manage. He hadn’t figured the gambit would buy him a lot of time, but even then he underestimated its effectiveness. He was reminded very quickly that Timeros was close behind and closing fast. A crimson bolt impacted close enough to him that his carapace was slightly singed by the sparks arcing off the rocks. Even as the Arconae’s footsteps grew ever closer, the cerulean glow of the crystals in the main shaft was just coming into view, which gave the Verpine a slight flicker of hope.

A flicker that was quickly snuffed out.

As Kz’set caught the first glimpse of the shaft, the Verpine deactivated his lightsaber and tried to line up a leap to get to the lowest of the hanging stone blocks. One step before he would have taken off, the Verpine felt a searing pain in his head as blaster bolt ripped through his left antenna, neatly severing it about two thirds of the way down. The sudden blow to the sensitive organ threw his balance off and sent him skidding across the stone floor of the shaft. As he came to a stop against the far wall of the chamber, Timeros came back into view, a slight, but nonetheless wicked grin upon his lips.

“Commendable attempt, given the circumstances.” There was a slight hint of disappointment in Timeros’ voice.

Between the burning sensation that was still coming from his severed antenna, the soreness in many of his muscles, and the lack of breath from all the exertion, Kz’set couldn’t manage a verbal reply. Lifting his head was about all he could manage at the moment, and even that was a burden.

“I assume you know in any other circumstance, I’d probably just kill you here.” Timeros continued with a disappointed sigh. “However orders are orders.”

Darth Renatus, 30 November, 2015 1:23 AM UTC

Each time it became more difficult for Kz’set to keep up. Each attack pushed him back further.

Careful not to fall into repetition, try to avoid starting with the same word, or subject too much.

In a place with as much loose material and scattered obstacles, this wasn’t something Kz’set could keep doing forever.

"As much" implies a comparison which does not occur within the context here.

“I assume you know in any other circumstance, I’d probably just kill you here.” Timeros continued with a disappointed sigh.

It should be a comma closing out the dialogue and leading into Timeros.


You do a good job bringing in more story to the combat without interrupting the pacing of the story. You could strengthen the content by portraying a better image of the scene to your reader, as your content comes across very focused on the actions and inner thoughts, as opposed to where they are. This leaves a partially incomplete image, and something you could strengthen.

It can’t be over, yet.

Timeros watched the Verpine struggle, flat against the ground like a casually squashed bug, his presence in the Force little more than a defeated echo of pain. The Adept approached his fallen foe slowly, almost regretfully, weighing the saber in his hand and keeping a close eye on the creature.

The battle was not supposed to end like this. Plagueis should have sent him a duelist. A terror who commanded blade, bolt and dark side with equal ease. A combatant to match his own prowess and perhaps exceed it. Not this...insect, with his dispassionate mind and playful grasp of clockwork things. No. It should have been a warrior.

Someone, anyone who could have made a stand within the soothing confines of the mines. Someone who could make the battle last.

The Entar halted in front of his foe, eyes locked upon the slumped di Plagia. Kz’set met his gaze with a multifaceted stare, still too agonized to speak. The Arconae paused, awaiting the dreaded words of surrender from the creature’s mouth. None seemed to be forthcoming, however, and it was only when the emaciated Human drew back a leg to kick that the Verpine finally raised a stake-like hand to speak.

“Timeroszzz,” the Plagueian finally buzzed, his voice a droning presence that seemed to hum at the back of the Arconan’s skull. “I…”

A pregnant pause.

Then, delivery in the form of a roar as the Force erupted in a dissonant clamor of voices. The Entar acted before he thought, pushing off against the floor and hurtling himself into a backward flip even as he instinctively whipped up his hand and telekinetically flung a cylindrical projectile up into the shaft above.

The next instant, the roar repeated itself, this time an audible blast of fury as the grenade burst open, triggered by Kz’set’s unseen power. Its blast wave rushed into the room, overpressure tipping at stone blocks and forcing the unstable platforms to wobble even more precariously than before. Timeros’ leap carried him beneath one cube, a convenient shield against the sudden surge of heated air as he crashed to the floor in a tangle of rolling limbs.

That same deluge of explosive power bore down on the Plagueian, yet its power found itself grounded upon an invisible barrier, dwindling into nothing as the Battlelord slowly clambered to his feet. He touched his head for a moment and winced as he brushed the stump that used to be his antenna. Then, the alien recalled his fallen lightsaber and lit it, casting a baleful ochre glow across the cerulean crystals.

Timeros uncoiled lithely from his roll, face carefully impassive even as his mind came afire at the unexpected challenge. Perhaps the di Plagia would prove interesting yet.

The Adept leveled his arm, spraying scarlet fire across the wall, but Kz’set was already gone, stepping sideways with precognitive acumen and ignoring the rain of chipped stone. The Adept followed suit, tracking the Verpine across the wall. The Techweaver was moving more slowly than before and his steps seemed hobbled by pain, diminished but not entirely defeated. The Plagueian lifted his arm, fingers splayed as if to halt the fire, and the next moment, lightning filled the air.

Immaculate tendrils of the dark side crackled into existence, contorting across the chamber in an instant. Fast as the writhing whipcords of power were, the starburst of warning played across Timeros’ mind faster still and he interposed his saber immediately, letting the terrifying barrage ground itself on its amethyst glow.

If Kz’set was disappointed by his lack of progress, he did not show it. Instead, the Battlelord further raised his hand, emitting a final blast of electric might before letting his strength subside and turning towards the Arconae.

Without a word, Timeros leveled his blaster and fired.

The wave of destructive power was to find no purchase on his adversary, however, as a stone block suddenly crashed to the ground with all the silence and subtlety of a sledgehammer, its suspension messily cut by the spindly alien’s aborted assault. It cracked the floor as it fell and throwing up a plume of cerulean-lit dust, bolts spattering uselessly against the massive barrier. Before the Adept could fire another shot, the Plagueian flipped up onto the block, grunting with exertion as he further tapped his limited physical power, then kicked off again, sailing towards a different platform and out of Timeros’ reach.

Had the Battlelord expected any surcease, he would have been sorely disappointed. His frighteningly brilliant mind, however, had been too well-girded in the previous confrontation to suspect such a mercy, and when a spherical outline rose above the blocks, he was ready. Grappling the device with invisible hands, the pressure of his mental strength forcibly reversed the glop grenade’s trajectory. It burst immediately, spending its payload against the cube’s side and covering it in sticky foam. The impact forced the gear-driven platform into a sidewards slide even as it continued its slow ascent, and the lanky Verpine found himself hurled against the block, almost glad to have a moment of rest.

Timeros stood stock still, watching the di Plagia rise as frustration echoed through his mind. You can’t leave. I...I was not finished, yet. The thoughts sounded pleading and ridiculous even to the Arconae himself. An appeal to halt the sun, or a prayer to keep away the tides. Gazing upwards, he saw, hidden within the cerulean glow, the faintest flicker of daylight.

Up there, where his Clan was waiting, mulling about the stands, watching him fight and struggle on the Shadow Lady’s behalf.

That was when the realization hit him.

What have I been doing? Playing games, seeking conflict where I should have sought victory, all in a selfish longing for a time now past. Illusions. Up there? That world is real.

These dark mines had become a curious thing. An underworld and a womb. A place of solace and rest. Yet its comfort now felt hollow and ultimately fleeting. Up there, somewhere, were his Clanmates. Perhaps they were cheering for him. Perhaps they were booing. It did not matter, because Timeros had more than merely orders. Timeros had a duty.

He could not stay within the womb forever.

The Entar bolted for the nearest platform, throwing himself into a skyward leap. His feet had barely touched upon the block before he kicked off again, choosing a more rapidly rising elevator. Up ahead, Kz’set was waiting impassively, his mind abuzz with intricate brilliance as he recovered his strength. The Entar ignored the Verpine for the moment, focusing on the complex pattern of cubes and adjusting his course. His his anxieties fell away beneath him and he seemed to rise all the higher for their loss. His regrets, his hatred, his fears...they all fell, like embers from a reversing comet.

The Arconae’s reverie was rudely interrupted by a frenetic burst of radiance as his foe finally chose to intervene, lightning seeking to transfix him in midair. He all but ignored the scorching marks of power as he raised his saber with precognitive alacrity, abruptly halting the assault. His Westar tumbled down the shaft, completely forgotten as he drew a second lightsaber, the electric crackle of its activation almost unheard amidst the mechanical grind of straining lifts.

The cube wobbled as Timeros impacted upon it, only feet away from Kz’set’s own rising platform. He struck it mentally and the block swung, pivoting against its tackles as the two conveyances slammed together, sealed tightly by the still-sticky glop.

This time, there was no hesitation on the Battlelord’s side. He stabbed immediately, using his free hand to hold onto the pulley-connected ropes, feet unsteady against the impact. Timeros responded by lurching into the blade, flipping up and over the assault and slashing backwards. Ks’zet was forced to duck the strike, then spun to meet his foe as he landed on the far end of their merged platforms.

The Entar turned, face cold and distant as he hit the Verpine with a penetrating stare, and that was when it became clear that Timeros had left behind yet one more thing.

The Arconae had abandoned even the pretense of mercy.

Darth Renatus, 30 November, 2015 1:38 AM UTC

It cracked the floor as it fell and throwing up a plume of cerulean-lit dust, bolts spattering uselessly against the massive barrier.

Bit of a syntax hiccup here, "as it fell and throwing up a plume of cerulean-lit dust". Fell is past while throwing is present and just comes across awkward. Perhaps you missed a comma or other separator that would have made it work.

His his anxieties fell away beneath him and he seemed to rise all the higher for their loss.

Double "his" at the start of the sentence.


There's a lot done right in this post, and unfortunately some sloppiness. It may have been a combination of rushed proofing or something similar, but it is something you may want to address in the future.

Despite the thumping pain in his head from his severed antenna, Kz’set met the Arconae’s gaze. To most those assembled above, it would look like the Verpine was calm and unconcerned. The average member of galactic society didn’t understand Verpine facial expressions. To them, the Plagueian’s unwavering glare would look like a sign of a cold and calculating killer. They would be right that the insectoid was calculating something, he was trying to come up with a plan.

What they wouldn’t know is that the calculations weren’t coming out in his favor.

In the few tense seconds of the staredown, Kz’set’s mind was working through several potential courses of action, but he couldn’t readily discern one that led to a successful outcome. His opponent was superior to him physically, far more skilled with the Force, almost a match for him intellectually, and, perhaps most importantly, uninjured. The Verpine considered taking control of one of the camera drones again, but Timeros would certainly see it coming this time. He needed a different angle to get out of this.

That was it, an angle was exactly what he needed.

This is a terrible idea, but what do I have to lose at this point?

With a twitch of his remaining antenna, Kz’set broke the staredown by promptly dropping his lightsaber and pulling his shatter pistol. Slightly confused by the maneuver, Timeros brought one lightsaber into a defensive position in front of his body while slashing at the Verpine’s throat with the other. The Plagueian expected this, his calculations aided by the Force, and he narrowly twisted his neck away from the Elder’s violet blade. Out of the edge of one of his bulbous black eyes, he saw the next block grinding into position slightly behind and above Timeros.

Here goes nothing.

In the split second before the Arconae’s next strike, Kz’set pulled up his shatter pistol and aimed it not at his opponent but rather at the block behind him. It was impossible to see the pellet as it flew towards the stone slab, but a fraction of a second later a distinctive plink could be heard on the rock. To everyone’s surprise, including Kz’set’s, a few milliseconds later the pellet, or more likely pieces of it, ripped through Timeros’ calf. As the Arconan stumbled, the Verpine turned and jumped to another block that had slid into position next behind, below, and to the right. As the block moved away from Timeros, Kz’set smirked at his unexpected success.

He finally had a break, but this wasn’t over.

The Verpine had guessed correctly that the leg wound wouldn’t slow down the Arconae for more than a moment. With the aid of the Force dulling the pain of the wound, the Elder quickly jumped to the block Kz’set had just bounced the pellet off of to wound him. As the Verpine’s block moved to the far side of the shaft, the Adept concluded that there was one sure way to finish this battle, beating the insectoid to the top.

Both combatants quickly scanned their surroundings and started calculating their respective routes to the top of the shaft. Timeros moved from block to block with a smooth and practiced fluidity. He seemed to be expending more effort with each jump, the wound clearly slowing him down. Kz’set, on the other hand, was having more difficulty. Several of his transitions were close calls and near disasters. The Verpine’s balance was clearly affected by his injuries, which nearly caused him to topple off a block on multiple occasions. Despite all this, the di Plagia was still making progress. He could tell nearing the top of the shaft and, hopefully this contest. From his calculations he just had one more jump to make to reach the top. As he looked up to make the leap, he heard a familiar hum and felt heat against his neck. A purple glow reflecting off his carapace confirmed his fears. The Verpine knew what was about to happen and there was only one thing he could say.

“End thiszzz.”

As Timeros brought his weapon back to strike down Kz’set, a voice boomed throughout the cavern, shaking the very walls with it’s power and magnitude. It said only one word.

“Enough!”

Darth Renatus, 30 November, 2015 1:45 AM UTC

The biggest issue here is the abruptness of the ending. It's almost like robbing the reader of the full experience. It's an abrupt cut to black that leaves me asking for more, and not in a good way. You have Timeros bringing the weapon in and then the "Enough!". What's not resolved is if Timeros even bothers to listen to it.