Warrior Nath Voth vs. Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj

Warrior Nath Voth

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Arcona
Female Zabrak, Sith, Seeker, Krath
vs.

Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj

Equite 4, Equite tier, Clan Taldryan
Male Human, Sith, Seeker, Imperial
Comment

This was a very close match, due to strengths and weaknesses in multiple categories. In the end, Story has always been the strongest defining characteristic in judging battles, and it was that which made the difference here.

You both got a bit lost in the "cinematic" of your match, losing touch with the realism of what you were attempting to portray. I recommend you both look over the Skills and Force Powers pages on the Wiki to compare your selections to how they can be reasonably portrayed.

With the scores tallied, a marginal victory is granted to Warrior Nath Agrona.

I look forward to your next match.

Hall Duelist Hall - Old Container
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 7 Days
Battle Style Alternative Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warrior Nath Voth, Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj
Winner Warrior Nath Voth
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warrior Nath Voth's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Warlord Andrelious J. Mimosa-Inahj's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue Selen: Arcona Citadel - Courtyard
Last Post 16 January, 2016 8:18 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Deleted Archpriestess Aay'han Agrona Beviin
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: As usual, nearly as clean as you can get. Refer to the comments. Rationale: Multiple minor issues. Refer to the comments.
Story - 40%
Deleted Archpriestess Aay'han Agrona Beviin
Score: 3 Score: 4
Rationale: You let your opponent steer the story for the most part, while glossing over action in a way that seemed rushed and incomplete. Your ending also felt equally sudden, not really offering any sort of satisfaction or conclusion. Rationale: In terms of side by side comparison, you told the stronger story here by building up a quality story. You drove home the motivations and the circumstance and then tried to build a compelling interaction around it. What hurt you the most was the ending, in which everything had been an illusion. Little hints here or there would have made this more compelling, rather than jarring.
Realism - 25%
Deleted Archpriestess Aay'han Agrona Beviin
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: Issues in your final post, refer to the comments. Rationale: Issues in your final post, refer to the comments.
Continuity - 20%
Deleted Archpriestess Aay'han Agrona Beviin
Score: 5 Score: 4
Rationale: None that were readily apparent to me. Rationale: Issue in your final post.
Deleted's Score: 3.8 Archpriestess Aay'han Agrona Beviin's Score: 3.85
Posts

citadel
Despite being on the first level of the Citadel, the massive courtyard remains hidden behind towering walls of stone and sediment. An elongated central patch of neatly trimmed grass stretches out for almost fifty-meters while maintaining a twenty-meter width. At the center of the grass is a large, ovular fountain in the shape of the Arcona emblem, with water running from the tips of each pointed edge. Vegetation grows along some of the walls, and an archaic clock-face is carved into the face of one of the entryways. A small group of rotating sharpshooters are scattered across the walls as the courtyard is supposed to serve as a safe place for Arconans to enjoy some quiet time, or to meet with visitors. It has served as the venue for multiple honor-duels over time, and there is a significant crater off to the side of the grass left behind as a result of a contest between Marick Arconae and Wuntila Arconae. The duel had taken place prior to either Arconae serving as Shadow Lords and in a quieter time before all Arcona knew was warfare.
courtyard1

As you walk towards the back of the courtyard, closer to the base of the cliff that the Citadel is constructed upon, a tall tree shoots up from the stone, its shade guarding an entrance into the Citadel proper.
courtyard2

Nath sat herself within the branches of the tree, her blackened eyes closed as she enjoyed the silence and the sunlight. It had felt like months since she had last felt daylight. Stuck on Port Ol’Val, an instinctual part of her knew the difference between artificial and real sunlight. She idly reached back and tugged the braid over her shoulder, toying with the black strands as her legs dangled from the branch she sat astride.

The silence was also a welcome guest. She felt as though her ears were constantly picking up chatter these days, but here all she could hear was the sound of the fountain. Her expression pinched into a frown as she heard footsteps draw closer but with practiced ease she forced herself back to a calm impassive countenance. These days it felt as though she never had a moment alone. As the individual drew nearer, she sensed who had ruined her revery.

She waited until she could no longer hear the footsteps but obstinately refused to open her eyes just yet.

“Andrelious,” she greeted with a droll tone, doing nothing to hide her mild irritation at being disturbed. The Iridonian knew it was him, from the slow walk and sensing him within the Force. She had never forgotten any she had felt once before; they left an imprint within her mind.

“Miss Voth,” the Imperial greeted her with a slightly more civil tone, his gaze travelling up along the trunk of the tree to find the Iridonian perched within the branches. He had not expected to find anyone there, and had only travelled across to gain access to the Citadel proper.

“You know I do not go by my Clan name,” Nath responded tartly. Her fingers clicked as she placed pressure on the joints of her knuckles.

“You’re as welcoming of guests as ever I see,” he jabbed back.

The pair had always had a turbulent acquaintance due to her Master and many other things. Andrelious knew however that Nath had never been particularly friendly towards anyone, or at least none that he had seen publically.

She gave a derisive snort back as a response before responding verbally.

“If it is welcome you seek, go to Atyiru. You may even get an embrace for your troubles.” The acrid words tumbled from her in waves. She did not care how she spoke to others very much at the best of times, but today her mood was particularly poor. Of late this had become the norm. Not many disturbed her unless they really had to.

“I am here on behalf of Clan Taldryan to speak with her.” As he spoke, Nath slid out of the tree, her tall skinny frame landing not even five paces away. Andrelious could see she had changed since his last visit. She still looked as though she neglected to eat, though the blackened veins that spanned under her skin were new, her hair too had grown; she seemed even more tainted with the Dark Side now.

“You know your way around and I am no tour guide for outsiders.” White teeth scraped across her lower lip before her tongue pressed along a sharp cuspid thoughtfully as she took in the shorter Imperial. “But before you go, dear Andrelious,” Her tone took a honeyed accent to it. “I hear you are purging Undesirables with zeal these days.”

“Mnn, how is your dear Master these days? I do so wish I could catch him.” The inflection in his tone spoke many volumes and Nath felt her temper roll into a boil, the sounds of nature dimming. Her vision fixated on Andrelious as tunnel vision sunk in and finally the colours of her sight took on a distinct red hue.

The Iridonian’s breathing slowed as her body became very still. Andrelious could see her eyes narrow and his hand instinctively went to his lightsaber. Nath licked her lips with anticipation, the world seemed so far away but she didn’t miss the gesture he made, matching it with equal speed as the pair drew their lightsabers.

“I’ll send you back to Keirdagh, more or less as you came.” The Iridonian couldn’t hide the blood lust as her pulse quickened, the anticipation and adrenaline-high dancing along her veins was better than any drug.

“You won’t win, you know.” Andrelious spoke casually but his attention was fully on the Iridonian now, he was aware she would attack soon.

“It isn’t about winning.” The smile on her face was manic. All the Imperial could see was insanity now; logic would not reach her.

“Can’t you feel it?” she asked as the muscles in her arms twitched. She took two steps to one side of the tree, conscious of the fact her back had been to the trunk. The Sith wanted room to move and directed herself away from both the tree and Citadel walls towards the open courtyard.

Andrelious had no idea what she was prattling on about. Nath was clearly deranged, probably more so than that Sithspawn Master of hers. He had known when Zakath had brought her to Arcona that the woman was doomed, but he had not realised just how badly he had managed to rip away her sanity.

“You’re insane, just like Zakath.” The Imperial turned with her, keeping Nath clearly in front of him.

“I am much worse than Zakath.” The grin did not vanish. It only broadened as she finally activated her blade. The feeling of the lightsaber as it came to life was like meeting an old friend. She had missed the sensation. Andrelious did like wise, not foolish enough to allow Nath the upper hand.

“True, Zakath at least had self preservation instincts.” He taunted mercilessly but she did not move to strike, waiting for him to make the first move. His mind ticked over possibilities, honestly he had not initially come with the idea of starting a conflict, however the Iridonian woman seemed to have that effect on most people. He had seen it before, even whilst working towards her Knighthood, she had always picked fights with opponents that would easily crush her into the ground.

Darth Renatus, 24 January, 2016 6:32 PM UTC

Syntax

She gave a derisive snort back as a response before responding verbally.

Repetition of "response" here. Look for alternates to gain better flow, such as "She gave a derisive snort in way of reply before responding verbally."

“I am here on behalf of Clan Taldryan to speak with her.” As he spoke, Nath slid out of the tree, her tall skinny frame landing not even five paces away.

This would have been better suited broken up, as the actions following the dialogue are unrelated to the speaker.

“But before you go, dear Andrelious,” Her tone took a honeyed accent to it.

The capital on "Her" isn't needed.

Story

The pair had always had a turbulent acquaintance due to her Master and many other things.

Try not to reference things in such a way that the window is left looking for answers. The use of "and many other things" leaves the reader going: what other things?

Of all the people I could have run into, it had to be HER.

Andrelious had hoped his enforced visit back to the Dajorra system would be brief. Although it had been less than a year since his infamous defection to Arcona’s great rivals, Taldryan, the Warlord felt that the Shadow Clan’s home system had changed greatly. Nath, however, seemed to largely be the same perplexing individual she always had been.

“The situation between Taldryan and Arcona is difficult, Miss Voth. If we fight here, it could push us into open war. Think about that for a second. Taldryan, with its veterans, against a Shadow Lord who wants to solve everything with hugs. Perhaps you should just move aside,” Andrelious stated, already knowing his words would solicit no such reaction.

“I will not yield to you, Andrelious,” the Iridonian responded stoically.

“Very well, Knight Six. You’re not the first of my Knights to turn against me, and I’m sure you won’t be the last,” the Warlord sighed, as if remembering happier times.

If Andrelious was feeling any regret towards having to fight Nath, it wasn’t on display as he swung his lightsaber directly at the Warrior’s torso, forcing the woman to immediately parry the attack with her own slightly unconventional blade. The power behind the blow was enough to force the Arconan to take a step back, but she remained on guard, shielding herself from a set of faster, weaker slashes with a certain ease.

“So you can defend. Is that all Atyiru allows these days? Pathetic!” Andrelious taunted, looking for some kind of emotion in his opponent’s blackened eyes.

Nath said nothing, choosing instead to let a vicious counter attack that nearly outfoxed the Warlord do the talking. Mimosa-Inahj ducked, his short stature helping him to avoid the swinging lightsaber blade.

She’s good. Better than I remember. I’d best make a proper job of this one! Andrelious thought to himself as another of his attacks was easily blocked.

“I told you I would not yield,” Nath declared.

“Reading my mind too? Aren’t you a clever girl these days!” the Warlord spat back, incensed at his opponent’s intrusion. Snarling, he went on the attack, testing Nath’s defences and resolve with a series of powerful slashes, each with enough behind them to cut straight through the Iridonian’s almost frail looking body. The Arconan continued to defend herself fairly comfortably, even as she stepped back once or twice to keep her balance.

Furious that his strategy wasn’t working, Andrelious channeled his anger, focusing it directly at his enemy. Without more than a moment’s concentration, the Taldryanite let fly, hurling a wave of invisible energy directly at Nath.

The Warrior was knocked backwards as if she had just run into a wall of durasteel. The blow winded her a little, but she was otherwise unhurt and quickly climbed to her feet, dashing any hopes Andrelious had of a speedy resolution.

“I got worse from Zakath daily when we trained,” Nath said coolly.

“You’ll need more than what he’s taught you, girl! Far more!” Andrelious roared, his eyes beginning to turn a deep shade of crimson as he reached deeper and deeper into the dark side, but the Iridonian knew her former ally well enough to know what was coming next. She raised her lightsaber just in time to absorb the first flicker of lightning, holding it firm even as the blade strained to stay active against the electrical assault.

“Give it up, Miss Voth! You can’t hold me off forever!” the Warlord hissed.

Darth Renatus, 24 January, 2016 6:43 PM UTC

Story

Nath said nothing, choosing instead to let a vicious counter attack that nearly outfoxed the Warlord do the talking. Mimosa-Inahj ducked, his short stature helping him to avoid the swinging lightsaber blade.

This doesn't really paint a good image as to what is going on. Okay, so it's a vicious counter attack that nearly outfoxed him. In what way? Is it a horizontal slash, or something more cunning as to lending itself to outfoxing you?

Without more than a moment’s concentration, the Taldryanite let fly, hurling a wave of invisible energy directly at Nath.

In what way did he do this? This could be misconstrued as rather easily, and the lack of detail contributes to that.

She raised her lightsaber just in time to absorb the first flicker of lightning, holding it firm even as the blade strained to stay active against the electrical assault.

Again this is a case where you are glossing over actions and it leaves an incomplete picture.

With a downward swipe she used her lightsaber to absorb his attack. When she saw his palm crackle with more energy about to be unleashed she deactivated her weapon choosing to absorb the rest of the energy directly. Andrelious could easily see her grit her teeth as the lightning attack danced across her nerves. The Iridonian twitched and gripped at the lowered lightsaber tighter, but unable to help herself she staggered backwards. It took all of the Warrior’s concentration, channeling her energy to bolster her natural affinity to heal herself with her Force ability to compensate for the damage the Arconan had not anticipated. Her nerves dulled and burns had already began to blister at her palms and fingers.

Andrelious didn’t hesitate to take advantage of his opponent’s momentary distraction. Lunging forward, he attacked with a downward swipe of his lightsaber, aiming for her face with no hesitation or remorse. Nath was quick on the uptake however, adrenalin keeping the Iridonian going. With lightning speed, Nath brought her weapon back up and activated it, catching the blow, but it took a few seconds for her to deflect it away. Her boot came up and with a savage snap kick to the stomach she sent the Imperial staggering back, wheezing in a few laboured breaths. It gave the Arconan enough of a reprieve to recover.

Your mind is like an open book to me, old man. Your thoughts betray you before you’ve even begun.

The Warlord could hear her laugh in his mind, taunting the Imperial mercilessly.

As the Arconan advanced once more, her crimson blade was already held at waist height as she swung it. Andrelious backed away to avoid the blow, bringing his own weapon up once more.

As the Dinaarian looked upon Nath’s face he saw the insane smile that twisted at her lips and knew the Arconan would never back down - would never relent until one of them was dead.

With no recourse left to him Andrelious steeled himself for what was to come, his lightsaber feeling lighter than it should in his hands as the Imperial readied himself once more. The Iridonian gave no pause for the Warlord, advancing so suddenly that he could almost feel her breath on his own face.

Nath’s attack was uninhibited. The two handed grip upon her hilt gave her next attack slightly more power as she swung, placing the full weight of her body behind it in a high downward angle. Andrelious caught the attack without too much difficulty, however that had been her intention the whole time. The Warrior had caught him at an awkward angle that forced his dominant arm up to block but ensured he couldn’t quite gain the necessary leverage to parry the blow.

She pressed down upon him for a second before hastily recoiling back for the next blow, striking again from on high. The Dinaarian blocked easily once more and she again drew away just enough to pirouette and aim her next strike at his weaker arm. Andrelious was able to deflect the blow, but with each strike the Arconan made he could feel the heat of her lightsaber getting closer and closer to his flesh.

Using raw strength he forced her attack back. Nath knew she could not hold him back with her own physical fortitude alone, but that was never her plan. Though the Iridonian was persistent enough to think on her feet, she was not above using below the belt tactics to get the outcome she wanted. Andrelious was so close now that he could see his own reflection in her pitch-black eyes. Within a span of a heartbeat they changed, morphing suddenly before him. The horrors he saw within could never be unseen, never be put down and never stopped.

His body involuntarily shuddered, muscles slackening enough to allow Nath to push him back as the reflections tormented his psyche. The Imperial tried to shake away the visions he had witnessed but they seemed to glue into his mind like an unwanted guest; they just would not leave him.

If I were Zakath, by now you’d be dead and the Carrion feeders would be feasting on what’s left of you.

Her voice purred into his mind, dislodging the last remnants of what he had seen. Nath heard the Warlord snarl as he lashed out with his weapon, the Iridonian anticipated the attack, knowing her taunting would solicit nothing less, but before the Warrior could think to counter, a voice broke both duelists concentration.

“Nath, enough!” The firm effeminate voice was stern and disapproving. Both recognised the speaker without having to look. Andrelious did not relent just yet, knowing well enough that there was no guarantee the Iridonian would obey.

But much to his surprise, Nath did comply. She drew back and without hesitation deactivated her lightsaber, clipping it carefully back onto her belt. Andrelious falteringly did the same before turning to the intruder.

Atyiru looked resplendent in the black robes she wore. Her hair contrasted sharply with the material, but it could hardly be seen due to the way it was braided back and out of her face. The Miraluka heard a soft sigh close by before Nath’s voice rang out loud enough for everyone to hear.

“As you wish, Sister.” From the corner of Andrelious’ eye he saw Nath fade away only to appear standing close to the Consul’s left. It took a moment for the Warlord to process that the whole fight had been a lie, anger bubbled up at being robbed of a battle against the real Iridonian. He had no doubts now that she had used her skills in illusion to trick him.

The Imperial hadn’t missed the large bulk of the Barabel who seemed to be following in the Miraluka’s wake either. It took him a lot of restraint not to openly sneer at his old nemesis.

Nath, on the other hand, seemed to brighten at the presence of her Master. Both onlookers felt her mood change at once as she moved without hesitation to him. Andrelious needed to make a double take as he saw the pale Iridonian practically jump onto Zakath in embrace. The Barabel seemed to welcome her without hesitation, his larger arms taking the brunt of the Iridonian’s slight weight and returning the affectionate gesture.

“Andrelious, I believe we have business to discuss.” Atyiru had moved to his side without him really noticing, far too engrossed watching the pair.

“...Yes.” He finally replied, though the older Sith had not missed the violet glint in Zakath’s gaze as it locked on his; promising that this was not over. He managed to tear his eyes away to take in the petite woman next to him before adding as an afterthought:

“We have much to discuss.” Atyiru’s serene smile didn’t falter as she gestured for him to follow.

“Come, let us go somewhere a little less distracting.”

Reluctantly, Andrelious turned his back on Zakath just as the Barabel placed his only Apprentice back on her feet once more. He heard hushed words being exchanged between them but could not hear well enough to make out the discourse. Instead the Warlord followed the Consul away from the harsh sunlight back into the dimmed rooms that had been his original destination.

Had Andrelious paused a moment longer, he would have witnessed Nath's body collapsed in a small heap in Zakath’s arms, out cold and barely drawing breath.

Darth Renatus, 24 January, 2016 7:03 PM UTC

Syntax

Her nerves dulled and burns had already began to blister at her palms and fingers.

This should be "begun".

Nath was quick on the uptake however, adrenalin keeping the Iridonian going.

This should be "adrenaline".

Story

He had no doubts now that she had used her skills in illusion to trick him.

This style of ending can be strong, if applied effectively. However, this is not the case within the story you have presented. At no point is this even foreshadowed or implied, making it a jarring occurrence rather than an "ah hah!" moment. It hurts you more than it helps here.

Realism

With lightning speed, Nath brought her weapon back up and activated it, catching the blow, but it took a few seconds for her to deflect it away.

Nath has +0 Athletics and no Amplification with which to augment it, making the speed of your reaction lacking in realism.

Within a span of a heartbeat they changed, morphing suddenly before him. The horrors he saw within could never be unseen, never be put down and never stopped.

It is possible you intended to apply Illusion here, but the wording implies Terror. This is an advanced power that requires significant concentration, and you have only +1 in it. Here is the description of that ability at that stage:

"At an early stage, the Jedi must devote his full concentration to turn the fears of another being against them. At this rank, it can take up to a minute for the power to cause the target’s fears to fully rise to the surface."

Full concentration, and takes up to a minute to take root. Neither is on display here.

Continuity

With a downward swipe she used her lightsaber to absorb his attack.

The attack was already blocked in the previous post. This is a repeat of those actions.

Andrelious became more and more frustrated as his opponent stubbornly refused to back down, even when faced with the most dangerous of the Force powers at his disposal.

Terminating the lightning, the Warlord readied his lightsaber, immediately swinging at Nath as she recomposed herself. The attack was well-aimed, with enough power behind it that the defending Arconan nearly dropped her own weapon as the two blades collided. As it was, Andrelious kept enough momentum to nick the Zabrak on the arm. Nath, however, didn’t even bother to check the wound, instead offering a counter-attack that forced the older Sith to step back.

“Still acting tough? Just you wait, Miss Voth. Atyiru and I have some unfinished business. Once I’ve dealt with the likes of you, she’ll soon see just what I have to say to her,” Andrelious taunted, appearing to stroke the hilt of his lightsaber as he spoke.

“NO!” the Warrior cried as she began to realise that her opponent was not back on Selen for pleasure. Whatever had happened between him and the Shadow Lord was about to rear its ugly head once again. Nath, although usually an isolated figure, did have a strong friendship with Atyiru. Andrelious had to be stopped.

With an animalistic roar, the Zabrak leapt at the Warlord with all her might, desperate to slay her ex-comrade and protect her Consul. Andrelious moved into a more defensive stance, allowing him to parry Nath’s fierce attacks with apparent ease.

“You had your chance to back down, Knight Six. I will see Atyiru, even if I have to kill every one of my Knights. Perhaps I’ll make that scruffy little blue thing my next target. What is Kordath up to these days? I heard he’s in my old position,” Mimosa-Inahj continued, trying to hide an increasing feeling of regret over further attempts to rile Nath further. The Warrior responded with an icy glare as she ducked out of an attempted saber lock. She aimed a counter-attack at Andrelious’ legs, but the Warlord leapt well away from the swinging scarlet blade.

“I’ve had enough of this. Get out of my way!” Andrelious yelled, swinging his arms as if throwing a ball. Moments later, Nath was thrown back by a powerful wave of energy, strong enough to slam her into a nearby wall. The Zabrak slid down the wall, collapsing into a heap on the ground.

“Thank you for the extra training, Miss Voth. But as I said, I have a Shadow Lord to talk to. Goodbye!” the Taldryanite taunted, turning to walk into the Citadel proper.

Moving into a crouching position, Nath, who had been heavily winded by being hurled into the wall, selected one of her daggers. Without a moment’s hesitation, she threw it in the direction of her opponent, steering it with the Force as it rapidly closed the distance. The dagger zipped straight into Andrelious’ right thigh, flooring the Warlord as he cried out in agony.

Doesn’t this bitch EVER stay down? Andrelious wondered.

“It will take one greater than you to down me, Andrelious. Perhaps you should have sent your wife. I’ve heard she’s the real fighter in your family,” Nath stated coldly.

“Taunt all you want. It’s not going to save you or what’s left of Arcona. Taldryan is back. Just you wait,” the former Imperial answered, yanking the dagger out with another wince of pain. He pressed his left hand onto the seeping wound, immediately calling upon the Force to repair the worst of the damage. As he did so, he climbed back to his feet, spotting that Nath was approaching, evidently ready to continue their skirmish.

The two former allies glared at each other with a look of contempt as their lightsabers collided again, sparks flying everywhere. Andrelious was careful to shift most of his weight onto his undamaged leg; his right leg was still quite sore.

Feinting to the left, Mimosa-Inahj adjusted the angle of his attack to move to the right at the last possible moment, managing to force a slightly more clumsy defensive move from his opponent. With a snarl, the Warlord swung his lightsaber again, forcing Nath into a saber lock.

Finding the crossed lightsaber blades getting nearer and nearer to her throat, the Arconan noticed that Andrelious was at almost full stretch, leaving his abdomen almost completely unguarded. As fast as she could, she stepped back, trying to punch her opponent in the stomach. Andrelious, however, had sensed exactly what the Warrior was trying to do, and slashed forwards, chopping through Nath’s wrists. Before the Zabrak had time to realise what had happened, the older Sith generated another furious burst of lightning, almost grinning at the knowledge that the woman he had once called an ally had no way of defending herself.

Falling to the ground once more, this time in agony, Nath felt her consciousness slip away as her rival battered her with more lightning. As she passed out, she sensed a familiar presence nearby.

Father. Help me.

Stopping his assault, Andrelious too sensed the other Force user. Leaving Nath unconcious, wounded and alone, he entered the citadel, smirking.

He had attracted the attention of a greater target.

Darth Renatus, 24 January, 2016 7:18 PM UTC

Syntax

Mimosa-Inahj continued, trying to hide an increasing feeling of regret over further attempts to rile Nath further.

Repetition here, with "further".

Realism

Terminating the lightning, the Warlord readied his lightsaber, immediately swinging at Nath as she recomposed herself.

You don't have the feat required to make Lightning a sustained attack, so your use of "terminate" hurts you here as it would have only been a momentary shot to begin with.

Nath, however, didn’t even bother to check the wound, instead offering a counter-attack that forced the older Sith to step back.

While these are no longer the deblitating wounds they were depicted as in the past, this is still unrealistic. Even as a Zabrak, she would be aware of the pain if even for a split second it takes to steady herself or apply Control Self.

Without a moment’s hesitation, she threw it in the direction of her opponent, steering it with the Force as it rapidly closed the distance.

At +1 Telekinesis there is no way this action is believable. It may have been an attempt to get around her lacking of Misc Weapons for the thrown blade, but it still needs to be realistic.