Mactire staggered backwards and looked up at his master, his eyes full of anger. The smaller human seethed, the need to prove himself was relentless. The Hunter straightened up and stared Sanguinius straight in the eye. “Is that all you’ve got, Master?” Mactire quipped, scowling.
Sanguinius simply smiled, registering the steely determination of his student. “Good...” he muttered to himself. “Let us test your skill with the Force, Padawan.”
The Jedi turned sideways on to Mactire, his viridian blade drawing the Dakhani’s attention as the Anaxsi focused upon the glop grenade that he had palmed from his belt. Sanguinius’ thumb activated the pressure switch and he tossed it underarm towards the Hunter.
The silver orb spun through the air, the internal timer counting down to when it would kickstart the chemical reaction. The grenade flashed past Mactire, who was already moving away from non-fatal explosive. The timer reached zero and the chemical components reacted, a large mess of blue gloop expanded in the training room, coating the floor.
Mactire skidded to a halt, having narrowly missed being caught in the blue viscous and extremely sticky mass. He looked back at it and shook his head in relief. Getting stuck would have meant failing this test. Mactire’s mind raced, fed up with being constantly tested and being found wanting by his controlling master. The Dakhani vowed to himself that today was the day, enough was enough. He would be the student no longer.
The younger Defender gritted his teeth and advanced towards his watching teacher. His armoury lightsaber was grasped tightly, the lightly humming blade had been used by countless students before him. It had been used on many different battlefields and faced a myriad of opponents through the years. It was one of many and yet unique. It was important, it was a tool, it was a symbol. It was freedom, it was power, it was his identity. Before he came to the Brotherhood, Mactire was no-one, he was a blank face in a sea of faces. Now, he was something, he was someone.
The two lightsabers collided once more, as Mactire attacked Sanguinius with a new found fury, despite his previous exertions. His pride would allow him to do no less. The Warden fought defensively, his emerald blade parrying and redirecting blows with the least possible effort to conserve his strength.
Mactire grimaced as his muscles screamed in his mind, lactic acid burning his joints. He had pushed hard, throwing everything he had at the Anaxsi. “I know who I am, Master.” he carefully enunciated, his words full of power.
Sanguinius smiled inwardly as he heard the words, secure in the knowledge that his student had discovered his centre. The strength and will to fight for what he believed was right. The Jedi nodded thoughtfully, “and what are you, Padawan?”
“I am Mactire, student of Sara, student of Sanguinius.” he replied as the two pressed against each other, separated only by their lightsabers.
“Good.”
Sanguinius disengaged from the contest of strength, his lightsaber rotating in a circle to discourage a follow up attack from the Hunter. He stopped several paces back and disengaged his lightsaber and addressed the younger man. “You have found meaning, you have found your identity.”
Mactire stared at Sanguinius warily, unsure as to what was happening. The Hunter kept his armoury lightsaber ignited, well aware of tricks played by his master in previous training sessions that had left him on the floor, sore and bruised.
“You pass this test, Padawan. One more remains until I deem you worthy of Knighthood.” Sanguinius gestured towards the exit of the training room. “Come, let me instruct you one last time, my young friend...”
Careful of tense: lit the room*
Always capitalize the Force.
Swept. Watch your tense.
Force Wave is a Feat for TK, which threw me off originally. Second reading I realized you were simply trying to say that he used the Force (Telekinesis) to trip Mactire.
Tense. Third person, past tense.
Lightsaber wound you mean, like a scar or memory from the past? Be more clear here.
Your tense is wrong in almost every action you write. Please refer to the ACC Guide for further clarification if needed.