The ramp of the ship hissed shut behind the Blade of the Fallen as she stepped off the durasteel ramp onto the metallic surface of the landing platform. Looking around her, she growled at the weather as the skies were heavy with precipitation and were pouring incessantly onto the surrounding structures. As she stood, seething at the situation, her hair began to stick to her face and she shook it out. The fiery red colour that had become her trademark since joining the Brotherhood fanned out from her head as she shook it to and fro, ridding herself of the cumbersome weight and the clinging strands that had begun to cover her face.
Once again she wondered why the Overseer had chosen this place of the many options available to partake in a sparring match. Her mood soured even further as the pylons steamed and once again arced from one to the other, causing a blinding flash, even in the semi-brightness of the day. Suddenly it dawned on her; Kelly had chosen a spot with as many distractions as possible. She meant to even the odds.
Taranae walked to the centre of the platform as she thought about where her opponent could be. Surely she had honour and would show herself before an attack? Just to be sure, Taranae took off the safety catches on her blasters and unsheathed her saberstaff which was clipped to her belt. It had taken a little getting used to as the longer cylinder used to contain the two focusing crystals was a little more cumbersome, but she knew she carried one of the deadliest lightsabers known to Sith or Jedi. As she wondered, a figure detached itself from the shadows surrounding one of the entrances to the complex and calmly walked towards her.
Kelly had been watching Taranae since her arrival and wondered why the Sith hadn't yet sensed her presence. As she strolled forwards, she glanced around and berated herself for being so foolish. The electrical storm being kicked up by the rain and sizzling pylons would have put anyone off their stride and this is why she had picked this location to meet. She was sure Taranae must have been feeling a little dour after landing here and finding the weather not to her liking. The Overseer knew she had an advantage now as the noise and circumstances would not help with concentration while they sparred, but she also knew that this may not actually work in her favour either. It was a chance she had to take if she wished to better the Blade. As she neared Taranae, she inclined her head slightly to acknowledge that she recognized her foe. The Blade did the same but was obviously not very happy at the choice of location.
"Why here?" she asked as Kelly approached her.
"Because I at least wanted to have a chance to beat you." she quipped as she stopped a couple of arms lengths from Taranae.
"So you dragged me out here to this cesspit of a planet to stand in the pouring rain so you had a chance to beat me?" she snarled, her anger flaring already. Kelly nodded in mute amusement as Taranae slowly raised her saberstaff in front of her.
"I know we may be friends and even in the same clan, Overseer. But don't expect me to go easy on you because of that fact."
She sneered as she saluted her foe, activating her saber and holding it vertically in front of her face whilst inclining her head.
Kelly flicked the activator on her own weapon and it whooshed into being. The red glow from the two weapons reflected from the pylons around them, now silent as they awaited the next arc of electricity from the falling rain. She followed Taranae's example and saluted her, saber held before her face.
"I don't expect you to, Blade. But don't expect me to make this an easy ride for you either." she commented, as she brought her blade horizontal, pointed directly at her foe.
Taranae grinned and let out a guttural roar that shocked Kelly. The Krath knew a little about the Blade, but she had never seen her act this way before and she wondered what she had let herself in for. As the look of worry crossed her face, Taranae leapt at her and the fight began in earnest.
Kelly barely had chance to block the attack as it pushed towards her face, screaming down from above in a blow meant to carve her in two. As she raised her saber in defence, her foe's attack hit it with a bone-jarring clash that forced Kelly onto her knees.
"Already finished, Overseer?" growled Taranae. "I thought you had more in you."
"Oh I do," grunted Kelly under the strong force of the saber being pushed down towards her head. The only reason she had stumbled backwards being the sheer force and ferocity of the initial attack. "And here's my reply."
She kicked out at the Blade's legs, only to have her foe jump nimbly into the air as Kelly's legs connected with thin air. Kelly rolled as the push of the blade lessened with the jump, and came up with her saber swinging towards her opponent's right side. Taranae swung her saber to the right and easily blocked Kelly's attack, swinging around with an outstretched leg and catching Kelly off guard, striking below her saber and connecting with her soft stomach. Winded, the Overseer stepped back as she crumpled, but held her weapon before her to ward off any attacks should they be made. Luckily for her, Taranae stepped back, as she thumbed another switch on her saber and the second blade of her staff flashed into existence.
Kelly looked on in horror as she realized she was now in a very dangerous position. She was winded and stood before a saberstaff wielding opponent. Thinking quickly, she reached out and gestured. She heard Taranae gasp and as she looked up, saw nothing but blackness surrounding her foe. She struggled to her feet, feeling a little better and saw Taranae march straight through the swirl of inky darkness straight towards her.
"But how?" she asked in amazement.
"We all have our skills, Overseer." she sneered back as she raised her staff.
Kelly had taken the moment needed as the Blade talked to launch her own offensive and she lashed out as Taranae emerged from the wall of blackness. Taranae dodged to the side, raising her staff as she attempted to deflect the blow. Her foot hit a slippery patch of the landing pad and her leg gave way under her, causing her to fall into Kelly's slash. The weapon sliced into her robes and hit skin, digging in and creating a burning heat which caused Taranae to roar in pain. Kelly stepped back, the roar affecting her concentration. She watched Taranae fall, clutching her side. As the Blade knelt, holding her injury, Kelly saw the telltale sign of red that informed her that she had indeed landed a hit on her foe. She grinned as she reveled in the fact that she had actually gotten one over on the Blade of the Fallen.
Her grin faded a moment afterwards as she heard a low rumbling sound. Glancing around and thinking something was coming, she held her weapon ready. But as nothing appeared, she began searching for the source. Her head slowly turned to Taranae knelt on the ground. Her body shook slightly and Kelly realized that the growl was coming from her. Taranae raised her head and glared at the Overseer. She took her hand away from her wound and stared at it, becoming motionless.
The pain, the glorious pain. Taranae felt invigorated and knew in that instant that all her enemies would fall before her blade. She looked up and saw a woman stood before her. As she looked, she saw she also carried a lightsaber. She lowered her head to look at her injury again. A deep gash across her right side, bleeding a little but mostly cauterized. She knew now that the weapon the woman carried was the one that had caused this. For this she would die. She slowly raised her head back towards the woman and glared. A red haze settled over her sight and she stood, brandishing her saberstaff. The growl that came from her throat would have sent most scurrying, but this woman stood her ground. The enemy. Taranae's teeth bared as she pointed at the woman.
"You. You did this." Her weapon pointed directly at Kelly as she advanced. Kelly slowly backed away. She had never seen Taranae this way before and yes, she was worried.
"Taranae?" she quietly asked. "What are you doing?"
"Ridding myself of my enemies." she replied and gestured. One of the pylons shook as it suddenly lifted from the durasteel floor and hung in mid air. With a wave of her hand, Taranae sent the pylon flying directly at Kelly.
Kelly was fast and swung with her lightsaber, cutting the pylon in two as it reached her. The separate parts flew off to either side, one plunging into the waters in a shower of sparks and spray. She wasn't fast enough to counter the next attack as Taranae gestured again. This time Kelly was thrown off her feet and over the edge of the platform into the waves.
Syntax
Since this is set up as a "he said, she said" there should be a comma in place of the period within the dialogue.
Realism
Kelly has +2 Resolve. This is an unrealistic portrayel of a skilled saber user, that is adept in two forms, and possessing trained resolve. Especially considering there isn't much in the way of intimidation on Taranae's sheet.
Blackness is an advanced power that is difficult to use mid combat, even then it requires significant concentration and is draining at low levels. Kelly has this power at +1. At that level, they can only generate a 2 meter sphere around themself. Your portrayal here doesn't reflect that. This is also a story mark against you, for lack of explanation to the reader (its fine for the opponent not to know) how Taranae most likely used Sense to locate Kelly.
Again, you have no intimidation factor for your character.
At +3 Telekinesis, it takes a few seconds of concentration to lift a heavy object, such as the pylons. Your writing doesn't reflect this.