Mactire shut his eyes and mouth and focused deeply. Through the pain the human could feel his life being pulled out of him slowly as his lungs began to burn. Turning off the emerald blade, Mactire mustered all the strength he could to summon what little Force was left within him. His muscles ached as a barrier slowly encased him, expelling this mysterious dark cloud away from his body.
The faint light from the barrier pushing the dark cloud away, only makes the fear in Mactire spread more throughout his entire aching body. The Humans eyes glance around for the Anzat, but seeing just an empty space on where he once was.
“Siths blood. This old man can move when he wants to.” Mactire groans still keeping all his focus on the task at hand.
If the slightest moment of a loss of connection with the force occurred Mactire knew he would be in trouble and doubted in his current condition that he would be able to fight, let alone run. If the Quaestor got back up and attacked right now, this would be a huge problem. The fear kept creeping in the Humans mind, filling it slowly with doubt.
Darkblade’s eyes opened and he breathed slowly rising up in the darkness. He glanced around proud of his current achievement, knowing full well that the young Hunter didn’t stand a chance against him. Grabbing his saber and allowing the hiss of the blade to crackle in the air made things much more enjoyable.
Mactire seeing his worst fear appearing right before his eyes, sends ripples throughout his body. His mind is slowly losing focus and his barrier is slowly starting to become unstable.
“Oh well now Hunter you’ve seemed to have overestimated me now. Why was that?” The Anzat taunts moving slowly towards Mactire.
Mactire’s barrier come crashing down as the human leaves focus. It is within this exact moment that Darkbalde leaps into the air and attacks with a renewed vigor. The emerald blade comes alive as the Human grabs it with his right hand and blocks the attack with all his might. The air becomes stale as the blades connect again crackling and sparking against one another.
Mactire drops down slightly, moving his lightsaber to the side allowing Darkblade to continue his momentum in his next attack. As the Anzat continues moving, Mactire times an uppercut just right and connects to its targets jaw. Groaning with all his anger, might and sore muscles, Mactire calls upon the Force one last time and throws Darkblade back against the wall.
Panting heavily the Human slowly makes his way towards the Quaestor. Every step he takes he feels his body becoming heavier and heavier. Upon reaching Darkblade he looks at him as their eyes meet again. He can see and slightly sense that the Quaestor has just about pushed is limit as well.
“Are we done here? At least for now Sir?” Mactire mutters slowly leaning against the wall, letting it guide him to the floor.
“Hehehe. Yes we are done, for now at least. Let us heal up and try again, there is more you still need to learn. Though for now, you did better than I expected.” Darkblade says with a sense of calm in his voice.
Keeping his eyes on the Anzat, Mactire notices subtle ripples in the Quaestors form before it disappears. A loud hiss echo’s throughout the hall, followed by a slam as Darkblade exits a room and walks towards Macite carrying a holopad.
Darkblade only nods at the Human as he passes.
Mactire looks at the Quaestor, slightly laughing at fighting an illusion.
“Fraq I should have seen this coming a mile away. Next time. There is awalys a next time.” Mactire mumbles slowly passing out allowing the essence of sleep to embrace him.
Continuity and Story - This doesn't seem to flow from the opening introduction post. The opening post states:
... and yet you're launching straight into combat. I am aware that this indicates a quick transition into battle, but there is no attempt here to develop the story or give any background to the match which would add both breadth and depth to your post.
Syntax - Spliced sentence (comma).
Realism - Your entire first paragraph seems to focus on Darkblade's unrelenting, wild, and brutal attack on Mactire, however, Darkblade's primary lightsaber form is that of Makashi - the Duellist's Form. Makashi focuses on more short, precision strikes. The descriptions in this opening paragraph does not therefore correspond with Darkblade's form. This is a minor error, but certainly worth noting.
Syntax - Whilst the introductory post is in the present tense, all ACC matches are to be written in the past tense.
Syntax - You capitalised Human earlier in the first paragraph. Try and remain consistent with your choice of syntax.
Realism - Good adherence to character sheets. Well done!
Syntax - Always remember, refer to the ACC guide when writing a post. And follow the Show, Don't Tell good practice.
Syntax - You should italicise internalised thoughts. This can be done by surrounding the thought with asterisks or underscores, as per the following example:
*The old man is fast*, Mactire thought to himself.
Syntax - Incomplete sentence.
Realism - Lightsabers do not produce sparks, only light flashes.
Realism - Darkblade has a Force Lightning level of +2, which means he would need to call up some bad memories or experiences to fuel the lightning. This is not explored and the effort required is not satisfactorily described in the above quotation from the post.
Syntax and Realism - There should be a comma between 'Screaming in pain' and 'the human's lightsaber...'. Additionally, lightsaber would not 'turn off' as such. Lightsabers usually 'disengage' or are 'extinguished'.
Overall
This post demonstrates repeated errors throughout, using the wrong tense and does not flow particularly well. This has some significant detractors which inhibit the reader's ability to follow the story to the extent that multiple re-reads are required.
Always ensure all ACC posts are third-person, past tense. This is fundamental.