Two towering, tinted, transparisteel doors slide open to grant you access to the central chamber of the Combat Training Halls. The main room is wide and open and as large as as a holoball field. Tall walls stretch towards a domed ceiling that is made up of rows of ambient lights that spread out and fill the room with soft even lighting that eliminates any shades or shadows. Those same walls are lined around the perimeter with racks and stacks of varied weaponry: everything from swords and polearms to rifles and flamethrowers.
There are two signs that hover over each weapon rack to create an alternating motif in the Combat Training Hall: “No Explosions” and “Accorded Neutral Territory”. While the first is fairly obvious, the second speaks to the single law of the Training Halls: all members of the Brotherhood are welcome, and no member is to be killed or maimed without incurring the wrath of the Grand Master and the Inquisitori.
A trio of training dummies are statically set up and spread out in a line, each made out of a blend of alloys and padding that can withstand blows from any standard weaponry with the exception of lightsaber blades. To the side of the dummies, a large sparring matt has been stretched out to create a larger footprint than the typical Shock-Boxing ring. The padding is good for helping teach new combat students how to take a fall without injury and offers firm footing, but the hard durarubber mat is hardly forgiving.
Behind the sparring area is a door that leads to a small archives that combat students can use to view holorecordings of fights and duels from the past as well as relevant information on combat tactics, techniques, and forms. On the opposite side of the archives at the far end of central room is the locker room that members can safely store their equipment.
The final and probably most important element of the Combat Training Hall is the onsite Med Ward. The maglock door is sealed off and can only be opened by an attending Medic. The Medical facilities feature state of the art bacta tanks for recovery and aftercare. A combination of observation and waiting room rests adjacent to the recovery center and features two large monitors that display a live feed of the central room.
The Combat Halls are staffed around the clock, allowing combat students and mentors alike to come and go as they please at odd or regular hours. It also reserved for members looking to prove their worth to compete in the Antei Combat Center.
Syntax - Typo with the full stop.
Syntax - This would be better having been removed from the quotation marks, being in it's own paragraph, and having been italicised.
You can include italics by surrounding the text you wish to italicise with an asterisk on either side, as per the below:
*Meet in Combat Training Center at 0200 hours. Regarding feud with Clan Odan-Urr. Tell no one else*
Realism - Great use of telepathy. Well done.
Realism - A very minor point, but I don't think this is particularly in-keeping with Ringer's affiliation with the Jedi. I'm also not sure that it's particularly relevant to Ringer's Always Look on the Bright Side of Life Aspect.
Syntax - Minor comment, but this seems a little wordy. This could be cut down. Use of active tense rather than passive tense etc.
Realism - Great adherence to Kelly's Athletics level on her character sheet, her Parkour! skill, and lightsaber colour. These small details really build up a picture. Well done.
Syntax - Electrical what? Burst of electricity?
Story and Realism - What intelligence is the Taldryan Knight doubting? The story leading up to this point is somewhat thin. I understand the basic premise of Ringer attempting to reach out to Kelly about Odan-Urr - and to a certain degree this might work, as the message Ringer supposedly sent Kelly was open to interpretation - but what intelligence had Ringer received? If you are trying to weave a deeper story (which, I might add, is very much encouraged in the ACC) then you need to ensure that this story is explored and demonstrated to the reader.
Overall
Overall, I think this post demonstrates some solid realism, with some decent writing and an attempt at a deeper story. It is a well-rounded post, and was only lacking in the confusion around the story and a small number of minor realism and syntax errors. Nevertheless, a good opening - well done!