Warrior Kazarelth Talismarr vs. Battlelord Hades

Warrior Kazarelth Talismarr

Equite 1, Equite tier, Clan Tarentum
Male Chiss, Sith, Seeker, Krath
vs.

Battlelord Hades

Equite 3, Equite tier, Clan Tarentum
Male Human, Sith, Marauder
Comment

This was actually a really cool match to read. You both fed off each other very well. Both Character Sheets were used creatively together and against one another. Conflict was created by both writers, and both told an entertaining part of the overall story. Hade's combat writing was more detailed and more prominent, with Kaz's dialogue and pacing of the plot much more detailed. He does manage to work in combat, but this and a few other small things kept him from a perfect story score.

The deciding factor comes down to Syntax. Hades had multiple points where tense issues caused me to pause in my reading. Even with fewer errors in your final post, this was almost more relevant because it was simply shorter than the other posts.

Hades -- I know you were working under unique time constraints, so I just wanted to say how proud I am that you still finished your match. You did a great and stellar job, and I know that you will be able to hold your own in future ACC events and competitions that come up in the future. If you have questions on further feedback, don't hesitate to poke me. You did a good job here, though.

That said, Kazarelth Talismarr advances to the next round.

-W

Hall March To Dathomir [Clan Tarentum]
Messages 4 out of 4
Time Limit 3 Days
Battle Style Singular Ending
Battle Status Judged
Combatants Warrior Kazarelth Talismarr, Battlelord Hades
Winner Warrior Kazarelth Talismarr
Force Setting Standard
Weapon Setting Standard
Warrior Kazarelth Talismarr's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Battlelord Hades's Character Snapshot Snapshot
Venue [Scenario] Dathomir: Desolate Swamps (Tarentum)
Last Post 30 March, 2016 10:19 PM UTC
Syntax - 15%
Kazarelth Talismarr Warlord Hades
Score: 4 Score: 3
Rationale: Few errors scattered about. Easily caught with proof reading. Rationale: Multiple errors come up and the tense issues detract from readability.
Story - 40%
Kazarelth Talismarr Warlord Hades
Score: 4 Score: 4
Rationale: I loved the story that you told. Dialogue was engaging and moved the plot along. Even without the final post, you used your intro and follow up to craft a really clever story that I really don't see come out in the ACC a lot. There are some moments where you kind of break the 4th wall with the language you use to describe things. While most of it fits in with character's manic-mind, it does kind of stop me from going with a full 5 in score here. Rationale: I think you did a great job following up the intro post and adding a nice punch to the story with bringing in reference to Hades mother. Your finale was short, but efficient and closed out the match but was a tad bit anticlimatic. Still, it was well written and thought out, and your combat writing was detailed and on point which is important for the Antei COMBAT center.
Realism - 25%
Kazarelth Talismarr Warlord Hades
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues I saw. Rationale: I'm not docking any points, but if this were a tie I might have looked here to determine the outcome: You throw your lightsabers at trees. None of you have Saber Throw or TK feats to really do this, but you also don't call out that they come back to your hand. You don't really address what happens to the sabers afterwards, though, so it really is more of a point of discussion in both Realism and Continuity, and not really something I'd take points away from in either instance. Clear combat writing comes from understanding the CS mechanics and will help you keep from Realism detractors.
Continuity - 20%
Kazarelth Talismarr Warlord Hades
Score: 5 Score: 5
Rationale: No issues I saw. Rationale: No Issues I saw.
Kazarelth Talismarr's Score: 4.45 Warlord Hades's Score: 4.3
Posts

Dathomir Desolate Swamp

Once, it was the home to the witches of Dathomir, otherwise known as the Nightsisters. Tucked away in from the rest of the galaxy in an isolated cluster, the Nightsisters were able to draw energy from the planet itself, and pursued a type of ritualistic magic. They ruled over the population of Zabarak—Nightbrothers—and used them as a warrior caste to serve their purposes.

Then, the Clone Wars. The Nightsisters were pulled into the conflict due to the machinations of Mother Talzin and her rival Darth Sidious. This ultimately lead to the eradication of the Dathomirians and their settlements. The desolation was claimed by the Confederacy of Independent Systems after the last Nightsister fell.

Now, the planet known as Dathomir is a haunted skeleton of its former greatness. A perpetual crimson glow coats the planet. The bleak world has become an amalgamation of ruined forest, decrepit swamplands, and withered mountains worn to the sands of time.

In the desolate swamps, faint echoes haunt the graves of the long-dead witches, infusing the green fog that spreads above the damp ground. Dreadful whispers rumoured to be lingering incantations defend the world from intruders. Tall tales and rumors of zombies and ritual sacrifice alluding to grisly flashes of imagery.

The trees, large and misshapen, promise misery to those who touch their tortured bark and open themselves to the memories of the place. Eerie as the voices over the wind, the water beneath the fog appears red and bubbling, as if the land itself were pockmarked in cauldrons of blood to keep the incantations alive.

Creatures unaffected by the purge of the Nightsisters still remain. Snakes, reptiles and insects of varying lethality wander the wasteland. Reports have even said that rancors still roam freely.

This is Dathomir.


Prompt

Dathomir.

It was always a remote planet, full of mysticism and dark magics. Rumors, whispers of witches and heresy had always plagued the place. Such tales always included the inevitable ritual sacrifice. The dead rising from the grave. Man-hating fiends who would revel in torrid parties with their sisters. It was hard to determine which stories were true, and which stories you certainly hoped were false.

None of these stories trouble the Tarenti. The Clan of Life and Death, long some of the darkest practitioners of the Brotherhood, had certainly heard worse. Or had done worse themselves.

The Clan Summit of Tarentum has decreed that, under the cover of all possible secrecy and oaths of silence, no one is to know that the Clan of Death and her Grey Jedi sworn to Life are searching for the lost secrets that might otherwise revive the memory of the Nightsisters, and return the vaunted powers of the Tarenti to Yridia.

This is your mission. Bloodfyre has paired you with another member of your Clan. Enter the swamps with your Clanmate. Work together. There are secrets of power to be revealed, and the Summit needs them to gain an edge in the battles that Tarentum faces ahead.

Find the Orb of Daka, a Nightsister relic that may reopen the powers of Necromancy to Tarentum. Make your Clan proud.


Round 1

Members paired will enter the swamps and be met by guardian beasts, twisted versions of the natural denizens of Dathomir. These nightmarish beasts were warped by the power of the Nightsisters to guard their matriarchy. The beasts will stop at nothing to block your path and rend limbs from bodies in order to protect the secret tombs of the witches. You must succeed at all costs.

Round 2

Green mists fill the air as you tread deeper into the nightmarish swamps of Dathomir. The beasts have fallen back to lick their wounds, repulsed by your powers. Perhaps your former companion has fallen, or simply retreated to treat their own injuries from combat. A new companion arrives as the green mists sink lower to the ground, and the dead begin to rise. The fallen corpses of Nightsister and Nightbrother warriors have now risen to stop you. Press on and cull these forgotten fighters. Don't be held back from your ultimate goal of a Nightsister fortress!

The marshland was alive. Lit by the dim embers of the red star of Dathomir, there were several creatures that winked in and out of sight, adapted to the black and red colours of the world. For humans and humanoids, these were appalling conditions - terrors that lurked just out of sight, critters that either looked dangerous or were venomous. For Hades, though, this experience was just a minor blip on the radar of an otherwise weary life full of planets and locations five times worse. He heard roars and screams in the distance and grunted as he waited at the designated spot for his new companion. He was sure that once again it would be a no-show, and he would have to walk through another area all by himself and dispatch a couple of random monsters to get to the Orb of Daka in what played out like a badly plotted holovid in his head. He sighed once again as he waited the required fifteen minutes for the rendezvous when he hear it.

A slow throaty sound. It was needling in its tone, and seemed to bring with it despair, disease, depression and death. It trilled and rasped about these things without using words, a hum that could not be categorized entirely as a song but more like a static emanating from a moving point. A blight that came in the form of sound waves.

Hades looked behind him, an unnerving feeling of fright welling up inside of him where otherwise cynicism resided with alcohol by its side. He took a swig from his hip flask to embolden the usual cynicism and thought he saw a figure walking towards him with determined steps.

“Who goes there?” he asked, in the gruff voice of command, “is it you Warrior Kazarelth?”

As he peered into the distance, the blocky form of the Chiss lumbered into view, but something was off. The mists surrounding Kazarelth had taken on a sickly green hue, and his breath misted softly into the same green mist. His eyes, instead of their characteristic bright red were glowing with sulphuric yellow embers. He seemed to be dragging one of his feet. Hades could feel fright rise up in his heart as he found the Tarenti reminded him of the other secret of Tarentum. ‘Cut off its head, and the Draugr dies. But burn its body to be sure.’, came the voice of Sith Bloodfyre from one of his memories.

Hades paused, and then ignited his lightsaber as the malnourished and rotten face of Kazarelth came into view.

Suddenly, the feeling burned out, the weird noise stopped and as Kazarelth-the-Draugr’s face melted in front of Hades into the face of Kazarelth-the-Chiss. To an uninitiated observer, this last bit would not have been a startling change.

“It’s me!” Kaz said in a sing-song high pitched voice. Hades did not extinguish the lightsaber.

“No, seriously, it is me.” The Chiss continued.

“Where is Kah?” Hades asked. Gruff, to the point.

“He’s… uh… unwell.”

Unwell?”

“Look, I told him he should not eat everything and anything that moved in these parts. Certainly not half dead creatures that looked like they should not have been alive in the first place. But he was apparently ‘raving for some rancor steak’, his words.”

“I take it then that this entire getup and the flagrant use of offensive Force powers against a comrade was nothing but a charade?”

“Hey now, I was singing the song of the Draugr people. I thought I heard a few strains while I was walking to here. This was just a way of attracting them.”

“The song of the Draugr people?” Hades could not hide the veneer of disbelief.

“They are a cultured lot you know? Sometimes they come from a rich tradition of Draugrdom.”

“You’re saying that there are Draugr here, on Dathomir.”

“I’m saying there is a chance!”

Hades shook his head and extinguished his lightsaber. The first companion is a no-show, and the second one was either fully insane or was an idiot.

I’d say being insane is a better bet. Incompetent idiots do not last in Tarentum.’ Kaz’s singsong voice continued in the mind of Hades.

“I would appreciate it if you would use your vocal chords, Warrior.” Hades said aloud, and started walking. He had received instructions from Master Sith himself to take the course towards the Eastern part of the marshlands where cryptic instructions would guide him further towards the Orb.

“Noted. Also I did hear the Draugr. Or Draugr-ish creatures. Not much of a difference in the tonal capabilities and the general blight of despair that some powerful Draugr are capable of emanating. Also, I have heard tales that Dathomir was the birthplace of the first Draugr. The Nightsisters infused magick liberally. I can feel a bit of it buried amongst all the other rubbish here in this marsh. And it’s getting stronger and stronger as we walk East. You’ll feel it in about a minute’s time, give or take.” Kaz said, sing-song voice replaced by an even more annoying know-it-all tone.

Hades wanted to reply saying that he would not believe another word of the liar, but he did feel a ripple in his cynicism that had returned to his heart like a triumphant landlord with an evacuation notice for the squatters in his territory.

It grew. And in the distance shapes began to coalesce in the mists.

“Okay, so the first rule with Draugr is to avoid their teeth or their nails. You never know what they’ve been feeding on. Second, try to chop off their heads, although Draugr masters usually put some sort of collar there to protect the fleshy parts. Three, try not to get killed” said Kaz, in his simpering tone, eyes trained in the distance, his blaster unholstered.

Hades unholstered his blaster and peered into the darkness. There were three shapes that he could make out in the haze. He trained his blaster on to them, and asked his companion.

“Are you sure those are Draugr?”

“Not 100% sure. Could be worse. I think there’s a fourth in the distance too. Could be an illusion. Can’t be sure. What do you want to do?”

Hades thought about it for a moment, and then he fired.

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 5 April, 2016 10:51 PM UTC

He sighed once again as he waited the required fifteen minutes for the rendezvous when he hear it.

when he heard it*

Suddenly, the feeling burned out, the weird noise stopped and as Kazarelth-the-Draugr’s face melted in front of Hades into the face of Kazarelth-the-Chiss.

remove "as". Your writing is very good but you need to be careful of your tense. A proof reader will catch things like this more often than not.

“I would appreciate it if you would use your vocal chords, Warrior.” Hades said aloud, and started walking.

Warrior," Hades said

Excellent into post. Great dialogue.

"What did you just do?" Kaz asked, deadpan. The roar in the distance confirmed Hades' aim was still as great as it always had been.  And with that, the battle was on. 

"Just try not to die." Hades smirked as he reached out with the Force and grabbed the trailing Draugr and pulled it forward into the legs of the first, sending both rolling forward in a heap of spinning arms, legs and confusion. Hades ignited his lightsaber with his right hand and sprang forward, knowing he had only a second or two before they were both on their feet and back in the fight. The third made a b-line for Kaz. The Warrior's cursing died away as soon as Hades leapt.

Hades was now intensely focused on his prey. Though prey is not a term usually associated with Draugr, it seemed to fit in his mind. One set of yellow eyes and one set of red eyes were following his forward leap as the two tried to untangle themselves. The Sith leveled his blaster at the "newer" Draugr and lined up a shot with its eye and fired, just as creature with the yellow eyes had untangled itself and rolled to its right to move out of reach of Hades' attack. The shot was true. The younger Draugr's right eye socket exploded, sending small pieces of its orbital bone and brain matter scattered over nearly a foot and a half area. He continued his forward momentum into a roll and came up with his violet lightsaber pointing in the direction of the elder Draugr just in time to have it abort it's attack and move to its right. The yellow eyes constantly moving, searching for its enemy's weak spot.

Hades managed a quick glance over the creature's shoulders to see Kaz was now screaming at the Draugr in a very unflattering manner, but he seemed to be holding his own. For now, anyway.

Retraining his focus on the creature in front of him, something was burning a hole in the pit of his stomach. Something was wrong. There was something he was not seeing. He shook his head to maintain himself in the here and now. He modified his stance slightly to made it seem like his right leg was injured and slowed his movements. Draugrs, especially the elder ones with the yellowish eyes, were smart and very effective. Keeping up the charade, so began the dance of life and death. The Draugr lunging with Hades blocking or counter-attacking on anything on his left, while only barely blocking any advances the creature made on his right. At this point, with the dances set in motion, Hades just had to wait for his opening. He didn't have to wait long.

The Draugr made an overt and lightning quick attack on Hades' far left, meant to drive him off balance. He obliged. The creature was able to change direction mid attack and move towards Hades' right leg for the kill. As he twisted his torso to the left, he gave himself a boost with the Force to accelerate the turn. He drew his legs towards his body as he left hand produced his viroblade. The Draugr was already leaping by the time it saw the blade, and by then it was too late. The viroblade cut into the skull like butter, directly in the forehead. Wasting no time, Hades completed his turn and brought his violet lightsaber down and severed the Draugr's head from its shoulders. The Sith finished into a roll and came up to see Kaz continue to battle his Draugr. The elder Sith sheathed his viroblade and grabbed his blaster pistol and fired at the knee of Kaz's creature. It went down with a nice pissed off roar. The second it took to gaze at the new threat was all the younger warrior needed to slice the Draugr in two. He also sliced the head in half for good measure.

"Hey! You didn't die." Hades nodded in approval. Kaz was about to launch into what was sure to be a very entertaining tirade about Force knows what when the two heard clapping. The fourth figure... Hades thought to himself.

"Bravo! Bravo! That was most impressive. Do tell me all your secrets." Came a voice from the mist. A female voice. Kaz's blade was at the ready but Hades' was not. The pit in his stomach began to ache. It had only done this once before. It happened the last time he was here. The last time he was... Home. A figure slowly exited the mist. An elder woman, in the later 7th standard decade of her life. Hades took a step towards the woman with his head tilted, his lightsaber lowered to his side.

"Uhh. Big man. Would you mind not going all weird on me right now? Do you think that's doable?" Kaz gripped his lightsaber tighter, not sure what to expect.

"I know you." Hades said finally. Kaz began to speak up but Hades held up a hand for silence which, for once, Kaz listened to. The older woman nodded slightly.

"Once. Long ago." She responded affirmatively.

"Your presence in the force. It's, it's like a memory of something...familiar. Something..."

"Something you once lost." Hades deactivated his lightsaber.

"Come with me. There is much to discuss." Said the woman as she turned.

"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa whoa, whoa. What the hell is this? How do you know if she is even real?! " Kaz yelled.

"What if she is some sort of mist gas/force concoction? " Kaz began to lunge at the woman to prove this was just an illusion, but before he could close half the distance Kaz was being redirected towards Hades. The Battlelord had disarmed Kaz and landed a powerful knee into the young man's mid-torso, knocking the wind out of him. He was then slammed on the ground face first. Kaz struggled to breathe. "We will follow you. Do not worry about my friend here any longer." Said Hades. The woman nodded and continued. Kaz finally was able to look at Hades with a head full of questions.

"We can trust her." Hades said as he stood, bringing the dazed Warrior to his feet.

"W..why?" He asked.

"Because.." Hades turned to look at the woman. "She's my mother."

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 5 April, 2016 11:13 PM UTC

Formatting error in first line based on markdown. Just be sure to Preview your posts before you post, not a detractor just a note.

Though prey is not a term usually associated with Draugr, it seemed to fit in his mind.

was not*

The yellow eyes constantly moving, searching for its enemy's weak spot.

careful of tense.

He modified his stance slightly to made it seem like his right leg was injured and slowed his movements.

make it seem*

"Your presence in the force.

capitalize the Force

Also refraining from a mom joke here. Nice story beats though and good mix of action <3.

The questions died away in Kazarelth’s mind as he saw the woman again. For a few minutes he was also taken by the illusion, and it was only when Hades told him that she was his mother that he wanted to take a closer look. The strands of the Force bathed her in a frustrating amount of light, the likes of which the Warrior had not seen before. It was twisting and turning itself around the woman in a frenzy of activity, and he could see a thin string of the Force connecting her and Hades. Whatever was inside the form of the woman had latched on to an ancient memory of his comrade and was weaving memory and illusion together to create a living being. He was in awe of the entire charade, a hundred times better than what he had managed to create with the Draugr. He wanted to apprentice with her, wash her dishes or whatever just so that he could learn how to create the appearance like she did.

Hades was a wilful recipient. His mother could not possibly still be alive, or even be on Dathomir. Yet, here she was healthier than what most septuagenarian grannies usually would be. No grandma type person would be commanding Draugr, for example. Additionally, she seemed a little too young to be Hades’ mother, Kaz thought. A sixty year old man’s mother should not be in any condition to walk about like this. She would probably be knitting sweaters or what have you in her little two bedroom house somewhere North of… well wherever Hades was from.

Oh but I am, little one. I have been alive for a thousand years and more. She is just another body for me, taken from where your comrade would not want to know.

So… he’s just bait? Or what is it. I’m not processing things clearly - he packs quite a punch.

For now. You can try all you like to get him away from me.” Hades’ mother/illusion said with what could be construed as a simpering smirk. She seemed to enjoy the challenge. Kaz, on the other hand, wanted to chop off her head and be on his way.

They were being led towards something in the distance, and Kaz could see that most of the life had died away in that general direction. Or at least any life involving the Force flowing through it had disappeared. The lush land around him seemed to wither away, yet somehow retained the living luster when seen without the Force’s aid. A shiver of excitement ran down Kaz’s spine as he stumbled behind Hades. What other secrets did this woman have to share?

“Mother, what is this all about?” Hades asked, unable to restrain his curiosity any longer. His voice had lost its gruff tones and had become almost pleasant to hear. “How are you here, on Dathomir. I know you are no illusion - I remember your face, your presence. But you were lost to me.”

“Patience my child, my young Binky. I’ll tell you all about it.”

“…Binky?” Kaz asked, incredulous.

“Shut. Up.” Hades said through gritted teeth. He wished his mother would shut up as well, but he was meeting her after decades.

“While you were gone, the… ah… Nightsisters were out recruiting people. They came to our planet, our home. Your uncle Sasha, the slag that he was, had sold off most of our property. I missed you so much son. I wish you were there.” She started choking up, while still walking to what Kaz knew would be the eventual doom of the two of them. “They tore down the walls and oh it was cruel. But the Nightsisters helped me. They told me they would send their finest… ah… legal angels to sort of wipe it all away, and they did. Oh how lovely they were to me.”

There were tears in the fabric of the story, Kaz saw. He sent a few suggestions to Hades’ charmed mind. He intended to rip them into holes.

“Mother… who is Sasha? And I do not seem to remember a house.”

“Hmm? Your brother’s fath- I mean your father’s brother. Sasha? Oh you were a young child, and your memories are all muddled. Do not worry. The Nightsisters will help you remember. Just over this hill.”

They had walked all the way to what appeared to be the leeward side of a hill. The lushness seemed to be a mere memory in this place. Much of the overgrowth seemed to thrive and live on something that should not have been there. The area seemed devoid of the Force. It made the two of them uneasy. The charm on Hades was faltering.

“Mother, what is over this hill?” Hades’ usual gruff voice was coming back. His intuition suggested that something was wrong, but what his eyes perceived as the truth was too much to ignore. A gnawing pain in his mind manifested itself as a constant ringing of the word “illusion” over and over again. Perhaps it was the Warrior? He turned around and glared at him, ensuring that there were no hand gestures happening there. Satisfied, he stood his ground, refusing to follow his mother.

“Mother, please tell me, I implore you.”

Before the illusion could continue the charm, Kazarelth took matters in his own hands. Which was unsubtle, to say the least. A fan of purple lightning jumped from his hands to Hades’ mother, illuminating the hillside for a moment and revealing the corpses of a few Nightsisters and the withering leaves of the ‘lush forest’. He lunged towards her, and ignited his lightsaber just in time to slash her body in two. Nothingness unraveled into nothingness, and a little smoky orb landed at his feet with an uninspiring thunk.

Hades cried out in grief and anger, as he prepared a telekinetic blow to his sort-of-childhood-trauma-inducing comrade when a score of other voices also screamed out in agony from just across the hill. Kazarelth stopped and stared at the orb, which had started spinning on its own accord. Before he could touch it, the orb materialized into a younger woman clothed in a cowl and robe who pushed him away while he was gathering his wits and ran across the hill. She cried out a warning in a language he did not understand.

As she ran away, several yellow eyes popped up on the top of the hill.

“I think we need a plan, Binky.” Kaz said, keeping his lightsaber ignited.

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 5 April, 2016 11:23 PM UTC

Love how you worked and wove the story in this. Few small nitpick syntax moments but nothing overtly distracting.

"Run." Hades darted to the Northeast with Kaz quick on his heels.

"I, uh, was kind of wanting a PLAN." Kaz yelled. Hades was moving almost too fast to hear the Warrior. At this point, he honestly didn't care what Kaz said. He was so close to finding out what that was. The young Sith was too blinded to see his true intentions. What Kaz would never know, was that WAS the face of Hades' mother. How that...thing, came upon it he might never know.

Hades looked over his shoulder. They were losing the Draugr, but not rapidly. He knew he could keep up this pace for a while longer, but he wasn't sure about Kaz. The aid of the Force was the only thing keeping them from the several beasts following them. A few minutes later the two came to a small rise along with a nice sudden drop off of several hundred meters. Suddenly Kaz spoke up. "Well this escalated quickly." He peered over his shoulder. "Uh, if you have a plan I suggest you tell me in the next 10 seconds."

Hades scanned the vast chasm, a good 30 meters across. Then, he saw it. "Well, huh. Come on!" Kaz whirled around an followed Hades to the right. He peered over the elder man's shoulders. "Well isn't that right out of a holovid." Hades chuckled slightly. Directly in front of them was some type of tree that spanned the chasm.

"Move your ass!" Hades yelled as he drew his lightsaber and ignited it. Kaz took lead over the tree, though he would never be sure if Hades was meaning to protect a younger Tarenti...or having someone else check to make sure the tree will support the weight. As Hades began to cross, the Draugr came into view. With a sickly howl six of them moved to the tree. "Cut it! Now!" Hades exclaimed. The two in tandem sent their lightsabers twirling towards the end of the tree. The old thing didn't stand a chance. The end gave way without the support of the bank and began to fall. The Draugr yelled as they began to plunge into the abyss, but not before one tried to jump for the edge. Hades lifted a hand used telekinesis to throw the creature back down to join his friends.

"Wow, that was clUUUH"! Kaz was being lifted at his neck by the Force. Hades hand was raised and began to squeeze. "Do not ever, ever cross me again, Warrior. When you are in the field you follow your elder Tarenti's lead. I've been doing this a long time and I do not need some young kid who thinks he knows everything to throw a wrench into whatever plan I made." Kaz was struggling, though is eyes were a mix of anger and hatred with a touch of fear. He nodded.

"And if you cross me again in the field. Tarenti Or not. I'll kill you." Hades left no doubt in the Force that he was being honest. And with that, he let Kaz fall to the ground. One hand on lightsaber and one on his blaster, Hades began moving away from the gasping Warrior.

"Find your own way from here, Kaz. Do not follow me." With a burst of speed, he was gone.

Lord Marick Tyris Arconae, 5 April, 2016 11:28 PM UTC

"I, uh, was kind of wanting a PLAN." Kaz yelled.

comes up repeatedly. You don't close out dialogue with a period if you're assigning attribute to the way the dialogue is being said. You need a comma here, per the ACC Style sheet on the guide.

A short but effective ending.