Oh Man, Oh Sithspit! What was I thinking?!? My Lightsaber is useless against this woman! Her Rage, doubled with her Juyo style, is unstoppable, but the dark side corrodes her mind... yes... that's it!
Just as I looked up to see Her lightsaber above me, I dropped to one knee and threw both hands forward with all my might, an unseen blast has thrown the Dark Jedi backward. She was thrown to one of the columns, and dropped her saber as she connected with it. It hit the ground with a 'clink' and promptly disengaged but before she can recall the weapon, I summoned it to my hand. I disengaged my own saber, clicked it to my belt, and pulled out my smoke grenade from my pouch. I press the activator on it and drop it.
She pulled out her blaster and fired, I ducked under the shot and pushed off my left leg throwing myself into a side roll. I landed behind one of the columns. "Such strength! And what power you poses! why do you not commit to the dark side? Why do you play on the border between, do you not know how it corrode your mind? How it will leave you a mindless fool?" I asked as I moved around the room as it filled with more and more smoke.
"Shut your mouth, Sith scum! You would not understand, how could you?" She defensively resonded.
ohh looks like I touched a nerve, i'll save that for later...
"You'd be surprised, the path of the Sith is not an easy one..." I told her as I moved between her and a column. I silently called my staff back to my right hand and grabbed two throwing daggers out of my pouch with my left.
"COWARD!!" She exclaimed, "Come and face me like a TRUE SITH!!"
Ouch, that one hurt, good thing i'm ready for her counter attack.
I yelled and rushed her, but she was ready as she fired a flurry of hip shots. I dropped my right leg under me into a slide and ducked under the shots. I returned her shots with my daggers, throwing them with all I had. She dodged the first but the second caught her in the hip. She reels from the pain, but before she can remove it, I stepped out of my slide, re-gripped my staff with both hands, and swung it at the handle of the dagger. The strike buries the blade to the pommel in her side.
She screams in pure agony and its... music to my ears.
However, before I could enjoy the song or go for another hit, she punched my in the face with more force than possible and put a two blaster bolts in my left shoulder. I grunted in pain, dropping my staff as i reached for my shoulder. Big Mistake, as she reaches for it and the thing flew into her hand. She rushed forward, dropping blood all along the way, and slammed it into my injured shoulder. The pain ran across my chest. I reached for the staff with my working hand and yanked out to the side, using the momentum to kick the woman in the gut.
It worked and the weapon flew away from us and as she reached for her stomach, I reach into my pouch and pulled out another dagger. I slammed it into her back as she was doubled over in pain.
She screams in such sorrowful pain, and with it had brings a genuine smile to my face. I threw my hands out toward her and she was sent flying backward.
She yelped as the dagger in her back met with the floor. She lied there for a minuet as she was calming the pain in her body. But all the while I was on my knees, hands clasped, and deep in focus.
I call back to the day all this started, or night rather. The day my father died, the day my home was attacked by mercenaries now extinct. The day i was forced to watch as my family was ravaged, the day i became absolutely and truly alone...
I redirect all these emotions of hatred and negativity, all with my will to never be that weak again.
The air around me became charged with static electricity, but it seemed i wasn't the only one with this idea. I look at my opponent as she stood with a look of utter rage.
"If I die i'm taking you with my little SITH!!!!" She yelled as she forced her hands out, and I mirrored the motion with my own hands.
She released her lightning with a bloodcurdling scream but it didn't ever reach me. The lightning she was trying to kill me with had arched back toward the knives in her side and back. Her body screamed as her body violently twitched.
"With all the metal in your body I wouldn't even need to aim, the lighting would go straight to those daggers every time." I said as I released my own power. She was lying on her back twitching and her body contorting to inhuman levels. "I'm sorry" I whispered as a single tear fell down my face.
I stopped, lowering my hands to my sides. She is dead, no need to check, she is burnt like toast.
I make my way out of the temple, whatever drew me here is gone. It's over, too bad it cost the life of one so talented.
What a waste.
Syntax
Use of first person perspective (and present tense) is contrary to ACC rules, and was featured in the Qualification Exam. This is a major syntax error within the ACC.
In the above section you will find typo corrections and an instance of flow, where a full stop via period is more suitable than the comma you had.
"Its" vs "It's" is the different between possessive and "it is".
You shouldn't be using numbers in fictional narative. In dialogue you can get away with it, or a name like "DL-44", however it should be "It has eight columns" instead of 8.
Another series of typo correction. Remember, the Force is a proper noun and should be capitalized.
Realism
At +1 Force Cloak, and beyond that as a class aside from Shadow in the CS system, you have to remain utterly stationary when using this skill, and must be focusing entirely on it. You demonstrated that half properly, but the movement was a minor realism hit.